I don't anymore what you people think after reading my blog entry. So what if I'm depressed? So what if I'm emotional? I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to listen anymore.
It's so tempting to just give up. On everything. Exams. Life. Everything that I hold dear. Relax, I'm not thinking of attempting suicide. It's just that I fail to see why I trusted. I'm tired.
Oh forget it. Please DO NOT comment. I needed to get everything out...
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Repeated entry from MSN space
Ok... After that highly bitter entry, there was actually more to come. Piano exam results. It wasn't good. That's all I shall say. But anyway, was playing the piano to try to calm myself down but instead I was crying as I played the piano. Cause in that piano book, there was "Everytime" by Britney Spears, "Don't Cry Out Loud" by ... Can't remember who. So those songs didn't exactly help my mood.
Went into my room and wrote in my diary and it just hit me. Why I've been feeling so down. Why I couldn't find a solution to calm myself down. I've been neglecting God and TAWG. Oops. So I just took out this book I had called "God's words of life for teens". There were the various sections. Anger. Emotions. Forgiveness. Priorities. Stress. I had to read through those, don't you think? The various verses just popped out in the book and I couldn't help but laugh at how I've been so blind.
"Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." - James 1:19-20
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." - Romans 12:2
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13
"Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." - Matthew 18:21-22
This two verses on forgiveness were the ones that I had problems with. I know what God says. But yet, it's so hard to follow. To forgive that person seventy-seven times. I've forgiven him more than seven times. And it's fast approaching a high number. The things that he does.
"The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6
"In the day of my trouble I will call to you, Lord, for you will answer me." - Psalm 86:7
Anyway, after reading the verses, I felt much better. Felt happier for the first time in this few weeks. Could finally enjoy dinner. Chicken chop and ice kachang. Though, I ended up shivering away. The lady gave me so much ice that it took a while just to finish the ice.
Went into my room and wrote in my diary and it just hit me. Why I've been feeling so down. Why I couldn't find a solution to calm myself down. I've been neglecting God and TAWG. Oops. So I just took out this book I had called "God's words of life for teens". There were the various sections. Anger. Emotions. Forgiveness. Priorities. Stress. I had to read through those, don't you think? The various verses just popped out in the book and I couldn't help but laugh at how I've been so blind.
"Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." - James 1:19-20
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." - Romans 12:2
"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13
"Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." - Matthew 18:21-22
This two verses on forgiveness were the ones that I had problems with. I know what God says. But yet, it's so hard to follow. To forgive that person seventy-seven times. I've forgiven him more than seven times. And it's fast approaching a high number. The things that he does.
"The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6
"In the day of my trouble I will call to you, Lord, for you will answer me." - Psalm 86:7
Anyway, after reading the verses, I felt much better. Felt happier for the first time in this few weeks. Could finally enjoy dinner. Chicken chop and ice kachang. Though, I ended up shivering away. The lady gave me so much ice that it took a while just to finish the ice.
Monday, September 19, 2005
new bloggie: Initial D
yep. the title says it all. because it didn't feel right using a non-christian blogskin for this blog so I decided to come up with a new blog for blogskins and to write about random things like my latest obsession. which is currently initial d.
anyway, go take a look at that blog if you want. no intention of making a tagboard unless there's popular demand so just tag on this blog about the other one, k?
http://melikes.blogspot.com
lolz. gtg. time to surf the net for more info on initial d. =p
anyway, go take a look at that blog if you want. no intention of making a tagboard unless there's popular demand so just tag on this blog about the other one, k?
http://melikes.blogspot.com
lolz. gtg. time to surf the net for more info on initial d. =p
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Cell outing + Service
Finally in the mood to start blogging about my life. Instead of those depressed ramblings like last time.
Anyway, on saturday had cell outing at Marina. Could only reach there at 11 as I had piano. Reached there and we played catching. Did I mention that I made the mistake of wearing jeans and running in the hot noon sun? =p After catching, lunch, bee hoon. Hmm.. Not bad. After lunch, cleaned up and the girls headed to eloise's house. So it's basically Eileen, Delia, Shu Mei, Helen, Delia, Chelsea, me and of course Elo. After 15 min of waiting for the bus to take to her house, it started raining. And we still needed to walk to her house so we just ran in the rain. Corrections, it was a drizzle at first but each step we took, the rain got heavier. Lol. Went to her house, grabbed towels and went down to the swimming pool showers to bathe. Oops. Then went back to her house, grabbed our bags and went to J8 and took neoprints. After that, rushed to church.
Worship Experience! Yippee! Me hyper! Even though we were so tired from celling outing and all but worship rox, as usual. =) Jolyn was singing.. Sermon and then communion. After that, a bit more worship. During that time, I felt like I was about to cry but no tears came. That's been so common recently. Hmm... Dunno why. After that, just went for dinner with family. Bee hoon and fried noodles with chicken wings. Yummy. 1 1/2 plates. Not bad, but could be better. I think my record's 1 3/4 plates... Lol. I'm really random now. Haha. That's all for now.
Anyway, on saturday had cell outing at Marina. Could only reach there at 11 as I had piano. Reached there and we played catching. Did I mention that I made the mistake of wearing jeans and running in the hot noon sun? =p After catching, lunch, bee hoon. Hmm.. Not bad. After lunch, cleaned up and the girls headed to eloise's house. So it's basically Eileen, Delia, Shu Mei, Helen, Delia, Chelsea, me and of course Elo. After 15 min of waiting for the bus to take to her house, it started raining. And we still needed to walk to her house so we just ran in the rain. Corrections, it was a drizzle at first but each step we took, the rain got heavier. Lol. Went to her house, grabbed towels and went down to the swimming pool showers to bathe. Oops. Then went back to her house, grabbed our bags and went to J8 and took neoprints. After that, rushed to church.
Worship Experience! Yippee! Me hyper! Even though we were so tired from celling outing and all but worship rox, as usual. =) Jolyn was singing.. Sermon and then communion. After that, a bit more worship. During that time, I felt like I was about to cry but no tears came. That's been so common recently. Hmm... Dunno why. After that, just went for dinner with family. Bee hoon and fried noodles with chicken wings. Yummy. 1 1/2 plates. Not bad, but could be better. I think my record's 1 3/4 plates... Lol. I'm really random now. Haha. That's all for now.
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