So many things, so little time

Due to time constraints, I will have to squeeze/summarize everything that happened for the past wk into one short entry..

19/2: Glo and Shao came to my church for E.D.G.E!!! But b4 that, went serene for a drink first... I treated =( Nvm... then went to church and found chloe and "reunited" those 3... FYI, Glo, Shao and Chloe from same primary school... Then, Glo and Shao had lots of fun... Shall not elaborate. E.D.G.E was quite nice, very close to everyone's heart... This feeling that there's something lacking in your life.... But fastfoward to dinner. Went with chloe, glo and shao to serene (again!) for dinner.. They had so much fun and laughter from the conversation we were having... couldn't help but agree that dinner was really funny... I was really blurred during dinner... Wasn't observant, happy now, Glo??

20/2: Not much, just slacking and more slacking...

21/2: Bah! They cancelled Maths Olympiad training after all this trouble i went thru deciding... Nvm, at least now more time to myself... Got new bowling uniform. 1 red top and 1 white top... Have 2 wait til B div competition then can wear... so sad.

22/2: Chinese test, was cramming away b4 chinese.

23/2: History test

24/2: Science test... Got back CL marks... 74/100.... Ok lah... A2, short of 1 mark to A1!!!! Ah.... Shall work harder... The teachers got bad planning, so many test in one week...

Today: Got addicted to jazz jackrabbit, had ite.. Mr Ngiow never come so "free" period, but had to do maths ws. Then Ms Ow read out a poem written by her to the class.... =p lol, not bad lah, but then again, she's an el teacher, her poems should of course b of a gd quality... Not much liao. Oh ya, during recess, bought 3 cups of almond jelly that the guides were selling. Like it cos very sweet...

Indecision... Strength needed, again...

~I lay my life down at ur feet, cos u're the only one I need,
I turn to you and you are always there...
In troubled times, it's you i seek, I put u first, that's all i need,
I humble all i am, all to u...

One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for ~

Sigh.. Now thinking of whether to go for Maths Olympiad.
Some of my friends aren't really helping with the decision. I'm just getting more confused.
I know that I really want to go but hesitation creeps in when realize that i'll b alone and that it'll take up my free time.
I just feel so lost again. Maybe the real problem isn't about Maths Olympiad, it's just the last straw that breaks me.. I can't absorb all this at once. I too need someone to spare me a listening ear but who? And when will that person come into my life?
Problems just all come and sure, every1 can deal with one or two problems but when all combined together and u're all alone? Without ur family and friends there to support and guide you through?
I know that my family will be there for me but now, both my parents are not well and i just dun want to trouble them, just want to let them rest and recuperate. My mum is stressed out at work already, i dun want her to worry about me too...
So God's the only one I can turn to now but... I hope to hear from God soon..
I'll have to tell the teacher-in-charge by the end of the school day latest..
I shall be strong and try to focus on one problem at a time..

Happy Valentine's Day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ! (to everyone)

Who ever said that valentine's day was only for couples??
I disagree...
Cos my mum also wishes me happy valentine's day and gives me present...
Lucky me, rite?
Cos went jurong point with parents to look at jewellery..
Dad was buying for mum then i just tagged along..
Then to cut long story short, cos mum asking me to get offline..
Went jigsaw puzzle shop to buy frame for the 1000 pc jigsaw puzzle..
but saw something i like, then parents buy for me.
950pcs disney character puzzle!! Yippee!
Then i went toys r us to buy doggie for jonathan.. So cute..
Going to take and cuddle once in a while
Gtg liao. That's all for now.

CNY here again...

Quite a bit 2 blog about...
Tue had CNY celebrations in school then just 2 irritate kor, wore a pink shirt... =)
Then after CNY celebrations, I rushed back to HPPS with hui shi, gloria and kor.
Just said "hi" to the teachers then rushed down 2 quadrangle where everyone else was there. Everyone = sammi, teresa, most of the boys...
Then talked to sammi and teresa and watch the boys attempt to play soccer... (boys, dun kill me, k?)
Was running btw HPPS frenz and NYGH frenz...
But a while b4 i left, the rest of the RI boys came... Bad timing...
Some people really haven't changed lor... But nvm..
Oh ya, 4got 2 mention that kor shouted "Jose" so loudly just for fun... We were being wu liao lah..
Kor just gave Jose a new nickname.. "Mr Sunshine"... He wore bright yellow lor..
Then after that, gan jie forced me to say "bye" to Nicolas before I could go...
Then sammi also agreed and made me go over to where Nicolas was lor...
Unfair! Then after that, went j8 to have lunch and walk around.
Went comics connection and the 4 of us bought matching crosses... Just different colours..
Then went gaga over the things in gift-a-name.. And as usual, took neoprints.
After that, saw michael and elisha...
That's another long story... Not going 2 bother...
Then first day of cny, not much, just the usual visiting of family members...
Oh ya... couz and her boyfriend and my mum had fun teasing me lor...
Cos i was about 2 follow couz and boyfriend to the boyfriend's relatives hse..
Then couz's boyfriend said something like "I have many male cousins." then mum started making comments and couz promised to see whether got any suitable guys...
Sigh... My mum! believe it or not???
Then watched "Seoul Raiders" at 11:20...
Wah! Very tired after that.. Only slept at 2..
Then today, went visiting... in a pink cheongsam.
Kor, if u read this, dun crinch...
Couz had fun messing with my hair and put eyeshadow for me...
Mum asked me not 2 wear my specs somemore...
Very tiring lah... Everything a bit blurred...
No choice lah. Only once a year. Whew!
Better go now lah. Getting a bit tired...

Should i care?

Thanks so much people...
For making me cry, the one thing that I have tried not to do...
But the pain hurts so much.. I just want all this to end.
But you dun understand the hurt inside of me as I see you doing this to urself...

I have never cried for someone not related me by blood...
But now, the hurt inside me is too much to bear...
Please spare me...
Ya sure, I can ignore all this but I just can't...
When i care for someone, I care for that person with all my heart....

I give up... I shall try 2 stop b4 i say things i regret...
But seriously, this shall be the first and last time I ever care for someone the way I cared for gan jie!

Tired of ... everything

~ Each time I am risen up, I am thrown down again.
I thought you were my friend but...
Everyday I am wounded but i just can't show it.
I smile and laugh along with you but...
Inside I protest and just wish you would stop.
You might ask why i dun speak up but...
Once i do, u just turn ur back on me
So what do you expect me 2 do?
Smile at you or just walk away? ~

Each time i stop getting depressed, it's only for a short while.
All those around me, they just make me so tired.
Ya sure, i can lend a listening ear anytime, but who will sit and listen to me?
I'm the friend that everyone turns to for help but who will be my friend?
Even those who call themselves my friends, sure...
They are my friends but they still wound me and leave me all alone to solve my problems.
I know that what they're doing is not the solution but at times... i think of joining them
Maybe one day, I shoud just stop thinking with my heart and just be cold as ice.
Being part of the world yet not existing.
Creating a void in me, removing all emotions then we shall see...
Yet, my conscience prevents me from doing that..
Even when my friends are hurting me, I can't bear to turn away from them...
Is what I am doing hurting or helping them?
I only have so much strength to last.. One day, all strength will leave me..
But will u all regret doing this to me? I don't think so...
You'll just carry on with your lives and throw me aside...
Walking away... Should I? Or should i just end this all?

Hiya, not much to blog about this few days lah..
Try out my new bowling ball, not very used to it...
Oh ya, I have a new kor, two actually but nvm..
One's elie(is that how u spell) kor kor and hiroshi kor... Yes, I shall admit that hiroshi is my kor, not my di, happy now, hui shi??
Then have 2 rush out b'dae cards somemore..
Bah!