Tired of ... everything

~ Each time I am risen up, I am thrown down again.
I thought you were my friend but...
Everyday I am wounded but i just can't show it.
I smile and laugh along with you but...
Inside I protest and just wish you would stop.
You might ask why i dun speak up but...
Once i do, u just turn ur back on me
So what do you expect me 2 do?
Smile at you or just walk away? ~

Each time i stop getting depressed, it's only for a short while.
All those around me, they just make me so tired.
Ya sure, i can lend a listening ear anytime, but who will sit and listen to me?
I'm the friend that everyone turns to for help but who will be my friend?
Even those who call themselves my friends, sure...
They are my friends but they still wound me and leave me all alone to solve my problems.
I know that what they're doing is not the solution but at times... i think of joining them
Maybe one day, I shoud just stop thinking with my heart and just be cold as ice.
Being part of the world yet not existing.
Creating a void in me, removing all emotions then we shall see...
Yet, my conscience prevents me from doing that..
Even when my friends are hurting me, I can't bear to turn away from them...
Is what I am doing hurting or helping them?
I only have so much strength to last.. One day, all strength will leave me..
But will u all regret doing this to me? I don't think so...
You'll just carry on with your lives and throw me aside...
Walking away... Should I? Or should i just end this all?