maturing? i hope so...

Let's see what's happened recently.. For those who don't know, I got hit with a yellow disciplinary form for not handing up homework.. Shaln't elaborate too much cos it's not something to be proud of... But ya, realize that i've been slacking way too much and -cough cough- got to swallow my pride.. If you don't get it, then don't bother asking. But ya.. Really regret it but it's too late.
Time to look on the bright side.. I'm not really sure what the adult leaders see in me but i've been asked to join core group. It's kinda weird for me cos i'm usually very quiet and everything so was actually a bit nervous even though i know the people there. But it turned out fine, a learning experience. Similar to the IGNYTE conference for SPs, i too had doubts about that, but everything turned out bery well. Still.. It's like everyone sees something in me but I have no idea what that is. Same for being accepted at NUS High, still trying to come to grasp with that.
Anyway, service rox as usual! But guilt arose in me because i felt that i've dissapointed God through my actions. That form. So was a bit upset with myself, have been for the past few days as well.. But I kind of pushed those feelings away with God's help. I really don't know why but the image of the form being torn up kept going through my mind. The way it was being torn struck me. From the top, down then from the left to the right.. So was kind of like a cross. Reminded me of the play that I watched during SonicFest. The actresses torn up pieces of paper which symbolizes their broken hopes and dreams and paste all the pieces into the shape of the cross. It meant that we should bring our sufferings, our pain, our guilt, to God. So I managed to calm down.
Sermon was by this Pastor Timothy about running after God. Reminds me of last year's camp. The most important thing was about keeping our focus. That's always been my biggest problem, I guess. Went up for altar call. Could feel God's presence but surprisingly, I didn't really cry til after the altar call when we sang "running after you". I could feel the tears coming but I held back the tears and just sang the song as my heart's cry.
That's about it all. I've got to go offline now. Getting tired.