Looking back.

Looking back was never advisable for me. I'll just remember all the pain and hurt that I went through. But I realized on saturday that what didn't kill me made me stronger. Eventually.
Today, during A.C.E, I couldn't help but smirk at the part when Ms Flo said how eventually reflection becomes part of your life, like when you hear a song or read a book. How right. Every thing I do, I start to think about it and reflect. But I no longer reflect in the same way as last year. Last year, reflection = moodiness.
And also, the thing about how only you've been through some sadness, then you'll enjoy happiness. I guess I finally learned how to stop filling that void inside me with moodiness like how I did last year. Sadness and depression were reliable... They filled me up. But not with meaning. This year, that void's filled with happiness at how things are. I treasure each time that I laugh and have fun. And it helps. The amount of time I was moody last year this time is almost equal to the number of times I am happy now. Which shows the distinct improvement.
As to what happened last year, well, what has passed has passed. I don't think that I've regreted what I've done though. Given the choice, would I still do the same thing and go through all the misunderstandings again? I guess I would. That was partly what formed me and our friendship. If you read this, I guess I just want to thank you for being you. Ya, we've been through too many downs but somehow, we always reached the ups once more. Now, I'm going through my ups without you. Hope you're doing as well. I won't know. We've drifted. And it takes too much effort to hold on now. I want to but I got too tired. I learned it the hard way that I've got to let go. Things have changed. So have we.