This few days, haven't been blogging much. Just not in the mood but since today, my mood quite ok, shall do a quick entry.
Saw my mum for the first time in days. Me happy! Then later, mum surprised me with all the nice things that she bought for me from bangkok. Good taste, mummy. A lot of the items, i really liked lor. So ya, was bouncing around the whole house like a kangaroo..
Today ar.. hmm. quite ok lah. survived the day. so proud of my doodling in my notebook.. very random but looks quite ok when highlighted. Mum was home! someone to talk to instead of facing the com screen whole day.
Anyway, got to rush out lit liao. gtg
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Monday, April 25, 2005
Plain... don't blame me.
Based on what I said earlier in previous entry, blog entries shall now be dull and boring? So be prepared.
School today, like always. During recess, rushed to edit video but failed. Showed tv ad to class.. Most of them dun get it but hey, it's a home made production? Then body combat (also known as aerobics)...
Oh yes, did i mention that I'm falling sick? How nice... Dun u agree?
That's about it.
School today, like always. During recess, rushed to edit video but failed. Showed tv ad to class.. Most of them dun get it but hey, it's a home made production? Then body combat (also known as aerobics)...
Oh yes, did i mention that I'm falling sick? How nice... Dun u agree?
That's about it.
Rash decision...
Referring to my previous blog entry, I don't think that I will really abandon my blog. It was a very spur-of-the-moment comment.. However, I still believe that this blog would no longer be able to let me reveal my feelings, my thoughts. This blog used to be my outlet but no longer...
From now on, I will still blog, maybe as often, maybe less. But one thing is for sure, there will no longer be any more of those blog entries with lots and lots of emotions. The entries will just be an account of whatever happened and maybe some views not on non-sensitive issues like the weather.. One example of such entry.. "School was fine, like always, lots of homework, that's all"
Don't say I didn't tell u guys in advance, k?
From now on, I will still blog, maybe as often, maybe less. But one thing is for sure, there will no longer be any more of those blog entries with lots and lots of emotions. The entries will just be an account of whatever happened and maybe some views not on non-sensitive issues like the weather.. One example of such entry.. "School was fine, like always, lots of homework, that's all"
Don't say I didn't tell u guys in advance, k?
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Maybe i should...
Hey pple who read my blog... just to let you guys know.. I might abandon this blog... Realized that everything i write here will be read and commented on. The purpose of me having the blog is to be able to just write what I want about my day, my life, my thoughts. But now, I'm actually filtering what I write, omitting thoughts that I want to put down as I'm too concerned about what the reaction will be. You can say it's my fault for letting people know about this blog, you can say that I'm the one who minds the comments, fine. I won't disagree.. It was my own doing.
So it'll be my own choice if i want 2 abandon this blog.
So it'll be my own choice if i want 2 abandon this blog.
Saturdays... my favourite day in the week??
Let's see.. The usual routine of saturdays.. Piano lesson then come home, slack/do homework then go for cell followed by service.. Thanks to cousin, the routine was almost broken. Was invited to go for some crossfire paintball thing but last minute, turned out that I wasn't of the required age limit.. 14! Bah... a few months more.
Anyway, went to cell.. turns out wasn't the lastest.. then went back downstairs to meet the rest of the girls, elo, eileen and delia. Yah, most of them wore skirts too.. so wasn't the only one.. =) Anyway, cell was ok lah. it's fun, something i look foward to every week. After cell, service, the usual.
Worship was very energetic and just wanted to just be part of that awesome energy.. result of Passion! Ministry's passion for God, i guess. So jumped lah.. but wearing skirt so after a while, couldn't jump liao.. Not going to wear skirt again... Prevents me from jumping.. =(
Then later, after announcements/offering time, worshipped again.. But could sense that I was being distracted. So hard to clear my mind and focus solely onto God, was praying for distractions to cease and after a while, managed to worship God with all my focus on him.
Sermon.. Talking about "God, up close and personal." Realized that I've really been lacking in that area of trusting God and being humble. Was feeling guilty lor. In a way, I guess I've been like that kid in the story that Pastor B. told.. Been telling God what to do instead of letting him work in my life. Went for altar call and just pray to God and just remembered all the times in the past and just wept. Asking for God to come into my life. Just submitting to him once again. The fire in me that was ignited during camp had started to die down once more.. It's so hard to try to maintain the burning desire to run after God. So ya, was just praying for God to come into my life and just lead me. I've been facing problems in making some decisions and now have decided to just let God guide me. Even though right now, I still haven't made my decision or there hasn't been any signs as to what to do, right after just letting go of my worries, I felt calm, something I haven't felt in quite some time. Then was energetic again. Hyper me!
Anyway, after service, went to Macs with the girls in cell with the exception of Jeanette, Elo, Bel... Just sat there and talk and laugh our heads off. It was a nice change lah. Maybe this is what I've been needing to cheer me up? Just relaxing away.. As in really relaxed. =) That's about it for now lah. Got to do my work since i'm in a good mood now. and actually can focus on my work.
Anyway, went to cell.. turns out wasn't the lastest.. then went back downstairs to meet the rest of the girls, elo, eileen and delia. Yah, most of them wore skirts too.. so wasn't the only one.. =) Anyway, cell was ok lah. it's fun, something i look foward to every week. After cell, service, the usual.
Worship was very energetic and just wanted to just be part of that awesome energy.. result of Passion! Ministry's passion for God, i guess. So jumped lah.. but wearing skirt so after a while, couldn't jump liao.. Not going to wear skirt again... Prevents me from jumping.. =(
Then later, after announcements/offering time, worshipped again.. But could sense that I was being distracted. So hard to clear my mind and focus solely onto God, was praying for distractions to cease and after a while, managed to worship God with all my focus on him.
Sermon.. Talking about "God, up close and personal." Realized that I've really been lacking in that area of trusting God and being humble. Was feeling guilty lor. In a way, I guess I've been like that kid in the story that Pastor B. told.. Been telling God what to do instead of letting him work in my life. Went for altar call and just pray to God and just remembered all the times in the past and just wept. Asking for God to come into my life. Just submitting to him once again. The fire in me that was ignited during camp had started to die down once more.. It's so hard to try to maintain the burning desire to run after God. So ya, was just praying for God to come into my life and just lead me. I've been facing problems in making some decisions and now have decided to just let God guide me. Even though right now, I still haven't made my decision or there hasn't been any signs as to what to do, right after just letting go of my worries, I felt calm, something I haven't felt in quite some time. Then was energetic again. Hyper me!
Anyway, after service, went to Macs with the girls in cell with the exception of Jeanette, Elo, Bel... Just sat there and talk and laugh our heads off. It was a nice change lah. Maybe this is what I've been needing to cheer me up? Just relaxing away.. As in really relaxed. =) That's about it for now lah. Got to do my work since i'm in a good mood now. and actually can focus on my work.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Weird how songs can pull up and bring down my mood..
Today, sports meet at yio chu kang stadium... Temperature started getting a bit high so me and glo left half way... Believe that we pon? Rite... Anyway, we left early for irs lah.. Had to go to dolphin lagoon again to watch the training session. Reached there and saw big tour groups there... Bah! They crowd up the whole place. But managed to find a good spot to film the whole training performance, thanks to my height (sorry if i'm being ego)... and the raised platform helped too. Then after that, persuaded glo in letting me just loiter at the beach for a while..
I know that was being wu liao just wading into the sea but hey, my element is supposed to be water... If anyone had saw me, they would have think i was being lame.. Just wading into the sea... wearing berms??!! and just walking along the coastline with the water up 2 my knee level. Btw, it was high tide so berms got wet then flded higher... in the end, i heck care liao and entered the water til the water was like way above knee level, while still wearing my berms.. Found a seashell =) quite nice. It was just so tranquil there yet wished that i could just swim into the sea without worrying abt my berms getting wet.. To stay in that moment forever, just thinking about everything and yet, nothing.
Thank goodness i remembered to bring a change of clothes so changed into jeans and then made a quick trip to underwater world b4 rushing to tampines to meet shao. Met shao and then went to glo's hse... Slacked for a while then met vanessa and rachel at the busstop and brought them to shao's hse...
Here's the funny part. we were trying to film a tv ad for the public speaking competition so trial run a few times... There were so many bloopers... yep, my fault. it was too hard to try 2 control our laughter cos some of it was just plain funny. shaln't elaborate anymore.. But anyway, a lot, a lot of laughter... then glo actually taped down some of these bloopers without me knowing lor... sighs... lol but it was fun.
Went popular b4 heading to auntie's hse and saw.. Yep, the hai tun wan lie soundtrack... I want! Time to start skipping recess and lunch just to save up... Then headed to auntie's hse, played with jonathan, ate dinner, watch hai tun wan lie then went home. On the way back.. listening to mp3 player then some of the songs wanted to make me cry and that didn't make sense.. cos it's songs by jay chou, "an qing" and "kai bu liao kou".. I shouldn't b able 2 relate to "an qing" but strangely i did, even though i haven't went through that... Refer to the lyrics of the song to know what i mean... Aiyah, i was thinking about him lor.. that isn't fair... I want to forget him but that's not possible cos i see him too often for my own good.. Not my choice..
Shall not dwell on him and give him that much credit. bah. Choose not to like him and will keep by that. as long as i dun think about the past. memories, both good and bad.
I know that was being wu liao just wading into the sea but hey, my element is supposed to be water... If anyone had saw me, they would have think i was being lame.. Just wading into the sea... wearing berms??!! and just walking along the coastline with the water up 2 my knee level. Btw, it was high tide so berms got wet then flded higher... in the end, i heck care liao and entered the water til the water was like way above knee level, while still wearing my berms.. Found a seashell =) quite nice. It was just so tranquil there yet wished that i could just swim into the sea without worrying abt my berms getting wet.. To stay in that moment forever, just thinking about everything and yet, nothing.
Thank goodness i remembered to bring a change of clothes so changed into jeans and then made a quick trip to underwater world b4 rushing to tampines to meet shao. Met shao and then went to glo's hse... Slacked for a while then met vanessa and rachel at the busstop and brought them to shao's hse...
Here's the funny part. we were trying to film a tv ad for the public speaking competition so trial run a few times... There were so many bloopers... yep, my fault. it was too hard to try 2 control our laughter cos some of it was just plain funny. shaln't elaborate anymore.. But anyway, a lot, a lot of laughter... then glo actually taped down some of these bloopers without me knowing lor... sighs... lol but it was fun.
Went popular b4 heading to auntie's hse and saw.. Yep, the hai tun wan lie soundtrack... I want! Time to start skipping recess and lunch just to save up... Then headed to auntie's hse, played with jonathan, ate dinner, watch hai tun wan lie then went home. On the way back.. listening to mp3 player then some of the songs wanted to make me cry and that didn't make sense.. cos it's songs by jay chou, "an qing" and "kai bu liao kou".. I shouldn't b able 2 relate to "an qing" but strangely i did, even though i haven't went through that... Refer to the lyrics of the song to know what i mean... Aiyah, i was thinking about him lor.. that isn't fair... I want to forget him but that's not possible cos i see him too often for my own good.. Not my choice..
Shall not dwell on him and give him that much credit. bah. Choose not to like him and will keep by that. as long as i dun think about the past. memories, both good and bad.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Life is good and bad. You know it can never be
perfect and that it never have been, and you're
fine with that. You still feel it's important
to live life since it can end any day and not
sulk because of some little failure in life.
You are often a happy person, still you don't
laugh all the time. You have a somewhat calm
aura and most people feel comfortable around
you.
How do you see life? .::minor update::.
brought to you by
Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you are sympathetic and raise
others above yourself. Being as kind and
good-natured as you are people have most likely
hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up
every time. You may look fragile but you are
stronger than most tend to see. Life is
beautiful no matter how you look at it and you
understand that people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. You truly have a
beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.
.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by
No thanks to kor... I like the quizzes too much and start doing them every few days... The pics are really nice and the answers are quite accurate. But anyway, about today... Not much 2 blog about, was in quite a ok mood? Til the last few lessons at least.. Was very tired then got a bit snappy, moody? Hope i didn't offend any1. Tell me if i did, k? Oh yes, tomorrow going Sentosa again... Get to leave yio chu kang stadium early... *gloats* couldn't help it. Bcos of irs have 2 go watch the training session also. Time 2 spend lots of cash just on admission ticket... So not worth it... But nvm, it's for the dolphins.. =) Dolphins are nice!
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Happiness at last?
Ok, so i admit... mayb my msn nickname isn't that accurate. Been slacking too much trying 2 find a blogskin... But from now, shall try my best to work hard even though it'll be hard on me... I stopped doing that since primary school? Anyway, like my blogskin? It was either this or a dolphin one which i kept for next time. =) will save me lots of time. Gtg and start on homework before watching hai tun wan lie later at 730... that show rox!
Bb
Bb
Slacking..
Now in ITE, shall complete my previous unfinished entry... Anyway, yesterday was so stressed out about lit homework and just blanked out and decided not to do my homework. And just slack the whole night away But my mood improved a while after some MSN convs... Yes, people if u talk to me yesterday, you would know who you are. I was laughing away at the discussing of some stereotypes... And also at some of the comments made. So cheered up quite a bit. That person, thanks even though I know that it was not ur intention to cheer me up but thanks anyway. Now hoping that the dialouge session later wouldn't b so bad, but i doubt it...
Anyway, a random question, what is it with guys and answering question? only meant to point at one person... But ya, stop evading the question lah, stupid guy... Oops, shouldn't insult it but it's getting me frustrated. Oh yes, a bit more elaboration on my "emotional problems" as mentioned in my nickname...
In school, I was distancing myself unconsciously from my friends but in a way, that did me some good... Found some new people to hang out with and talk to... Latest obsession during recess and lunch break.. Badminton, still using the badminton racket that yi kai gave me in primary school. But it works well. Have improved a bit since monday... so proud of myself. =) Me happy... Anyway, the prob problems at school is no longer that bad so I'll survive , i guess for now... Er... then for problems not related to school, like church, crush/s, etc...
Let's se... Shall I elaborate? I think I shall be a bit more vague... for obvious reasons. In church, I belong more, i guess but at times, if my closer friends don't come, I'll start feeling a bit lonely? But that's natural lah... rite? Then for crush/s, I really don't know how to explain...
Let's see. I really can't tell whether I like that person... maybe make that two, even if you say I'm a two timer or what, i dun care. I'm not even involved in a relationship, I'm just trying to make up my mind. Samantha, you should understand the best. You went through this once , didn't you? =p Ya but anyway, it's confusing lah.. I dun really want to care about this kind of problems anymore... After all, fairytale endings only happens in the movies so no point worrying liao and getting all frustrated over guys... I agree with some, there are more interesting things in this world than all these problems, right? I can't believe I'm saying all these... Weird for this to come from me, isn't it?
That's all for now, can't think of much to blog about liao...
Anyway, a random question, what is it with guys and answering question? only meant to point at one person... But ya, stop evading the question lah, stupid guy... Oops, shouldn't insult it but it's getting me frustrated. Oh yes, a bit more elaboration on my "emotional problems" as mentioned in my nickname...
In school, I was distancing myself unconsciously from my friends but in a way, that did me some good... Found some new people to hang out with and talk to... Latest obsession during recess and lunch break.. Badminton, still using the badminton racket that yi kai gave me in primary school. But it works well. Have improved a bit since monday... so proud of myself. =) Me happy... Anyway, the prob problems at school is no longer that bad so I'll survive , i guess for now... Er... then for problems not related to school, like church, crush/s, etc...
Let's se... Shall I elaborate? I think I shall be a bit more vague... for obvious reasons. In church, I belong more, i guess but at times, if my closer friends don't come, I'll start feeling a bit lonely? But that's natural lah... rite? Then for crush/s, I really don't know how to explain...
Let's see. I really can't tell whether I like that person... maybe make that two, even if you say I'm a two timer or what, i dun care. I'm not even involved in a relationship, I'm just trying to make up my mind. Samantha, you should understand the best. You went through this once , didn't you? =p Ya but anyway, it's confusing lah.. I dun really want to care about this kind of problems anymore... After all, fairytale endings only happens in the movies so no point worrying liao and getting all frustrated over guys... I agree with some, there are more interesting things in this world than all these problems, right? I can't believe I'm saying all these... Weird for this to come from me, isn't it?
That's all for now, can't think of much to blog about liao...
Wuliaoness and infiltration... how's that?
Oh yes... huishi thinks cherm is very wuliao and huishi loves irritating cherm with her nice blogskins. HAHA. ~Courtesy of Huishi~
meffle ~Courtesy of Shao~
cherm shall get killed today! ~Courtesy of Glo~
AND YAY, WE ALL PASSED OUR CSP ASSESSMENT!!! CHINATOWN HERITAGE CENTRE ROCKS!!! YAYAYYYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHA! chermy no chance to blog yet ~Courtesy of all three of them~
Finally, i get to type... Those 3 were being random and just typing away... Bah. Anyway, flashback to yesterday... No thanks to ****** who had to pile us with so much hw and then tell us that tmr (today) would have dialouge session... Anyway, got to go for flag raising liao. blog later.
(wuliaoness has the same concept) we're being wuliao yes?(you were supposed to be being random too wadd)muahaaa ~Courtesy of HuiShi~
Irritating chermy is fun...=))))
buaibuai
Gtg
meffle ~Courtesy of Shao~
cherm shall get killed today! ~Courtesy of Glo~
AND YAY, WE ALL PASSED OUR CSP ASSESSMENT!!! CHINATOWN HERITAGE CENTRE ROCKS!!! YAYAYYYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHA! chermy no chance to blog yet ~Courtesy of all three of them~
Finally, i get to type... Those 3 were being random and just typing away... Bah. Anyway, flashback to yesterday... No thanks to ****** who had to pile us with so much hw and then tell us that tmr (today) would have dialouge session... Anyway, got to go for flag raising liao. blog later.
(wuliaoness has the same concept) we're being wuliao yes?(you were supposed to be being random too wadd)muahaaa ~Courtesy of HuiShi~
Irritating chermy is fun...=))))
buaibuai
Gtg
Monday, April 18, 2005
Mood- Depressed, down, etc...
Strange that my blog entries now all tend 2 b filled with angst and depression? Guess I don't bother blogging unless there's something bothering me, which is quite often. Let's continue from Saturday... Carecell and service.. nothing unusual, rite? Just in case any1 from church does read my blog, so shall not blog much abt my thots... The sermon though was ... relevant? cos some of it really applied to me lor... But my mood was quite ok thanks to some close? friends in church, but wasn't the best of moods due to something... Yes, I shall b vague for obvious reasons...
Sunday, generally ok day lah. Went bowling with cuz then headed 2 dad's hse.
Me and cuz was like trying 2 improve our "dancing" skills.. So long never play PS2 dance dance revolution liao... but still rather average. then cuz was like "u're a born dancer..." where got?? I consider that day's performance quite bad lah... But the problem with playing is that i get tempted to go 2 the arcade and play the real one... Want to see if all this practice helps... Sighs...
Today... Guess the lowest in terms of my mood. Was rather quiet and just kept 2 myself, something that i really dun do often. To do that would b scary as i'm normally hyper, talkative, sociable, etc... Today was just the opposite.. I guess i need a distance around me.. A barrier, some might say. I dun blame you three, it's my fault this time, I've drifted away. Not a conscious effort but still... It just comes naturally liao. I no longer want 2 care, i'll just live through life... I'll just go along with the flow, seeing where this drifting leads me. But it's nice 2 know that no matter how down I get, my family's always there. But now... I must warn those around me, I've grown quieter, isolated myself and even my rare smiles and laughter now, for all you know, they're forced.
Sunday, generally ok day lah. Went bowling with cuz then headed 2 dad's hse.
Me and cuz was like trying 2 improve our "dancing" skills.. So long never play PS2 dance dance revolution liao... but still rather average. then cuz was like "u're a born dancer..." where got?? I consider that day's performance quite bad lah... But the problem with playing is that i get tempted to go 2 the arcade and play the real one... Want to see if all this practice helps... Sighs...
Today... Guess the lowest in terms of my mood. Was rather quiet and just kept 2 myself, something that i really dun do often. To do that would b scary as i'm normally hyper, talkative, sociable, etc... Today was just the opposite.. I guess i need a distance around me.. A barrier, some might say. I dun blame you three, it's my fault this time, I've drifted away. Not a conscious effort but still... It just comes naturally liao. I no longer want 2 care, i'll just live through life... I'll just go along with the flow, seeing where this drifting leads me. But it's nice 2 know that no matter how down I get, my family's always there. But now... I must warn those around me, I've grown quieter, isolated myself and even my rare smiles and laughter now, for all you know, they're forced.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
More quizzes
You are the Spirit of Love. You think around
romance and are extremely compassionate.
Whenever you want something you can get it due
to your fiery passion. You can make friends
quite easily, because peopole are attracted to
your obvious good nature. You will have no
trouble in finding a life partner and will be
very happy.
Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by
Your element is Water. You have a calm aura around
you and are in tune with the world around. You
observe it but rarely interfere. Because of
your shy and timid nature you will not have so
many friends in your life. But then again,
large crowds aren't your thing anyway. You are
comfortable on your own and are reserved to
others who you don't know or know very little
of. You know everyone out there does not want
to be your friend, and knowing that is good.
However, people who don't know you that well
thinks that you are cold and distant since you
don't want to talk to them. Although you mean
no harm, you can't always be perfectly
understood in the world. No one can. Life in
general are you quite serene with even if there
are some things you don't like. Your love-life
is not so full of boys/girls, but if you
flirted more with the ones you were interested
in I'm sure something would happen. The hobbies
you choose are calmer ones, you are no party
girl that likes to drink and make-out with
three or more guys/girls in one night. Reading
a book or swimming is more your thing. Rate and
message!
What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
brought to you by
you represent the begining of life. you are bright
and cheerful and love being who you are!
What part of life do you represent? ( AWESOME anime pics ^_^)
brought to you by
You are Relaxed
You have this constant feeling inside that says
that everything will be alright. Calm cool, you
invented the Chill Pill! (WHAT?!)Whenever
there's a problem you don't spaz out, that's
why people come to you for advice because
you're really reliable. Not many people have
the aura of calmness that follows wherever you
go. Whenever people are around you, they loosen
up, relax, just by being near you! Your motto
is 'Sit back and relax'. Stay the way you are,
because you rarely get stressed out!
Please Rate and Message!
What's The Girl Inside of You? .:BEAUTIFUL Anime Pics AND Music!:. (UPDATED!)
brought to you by
Quizzes galore.
Ok you are a romantic anime girl and you love and
care for a lot of people.There is no evil in
you soul or your heart.Though sometimes people
don't feelt he same way as you do you keep on
trying to change their mind.You love to help
people out and you are always happy.Keep on
trying to make the whole world smile because
you know smiles are contagious ^_^.Oh and if it
seems like there is nobody who could love you
as much as you could love them it doesn't
matter the thing is that the only thing that
matters is that he cares and loves you and it
doesn't matter how much well maybe it does but
don't set you standards to high cuz then you'll
find nobody
weird isn't it how the result of my quizzes have 2 do with love?
If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by
Your connection with darkness is through your
depression. Hated, sad and often feeling
lonely, there is only a few that appreciate the
real you. You tend to keep to yourself and away
from the world since you don't want to be hurt
and betrayed again. Music gives you the
understanding you need to get through, it's
your "therapy". Or you express
yourself through art or writing. Chances are
you're also an anti-social person, who only
likes being with close friends, if even that.
The world has finally showed it's true face for
you and you wish life wasn't this miserable to
live through. Maybe you'll find happiness in
the future, but right now you're just hiding
away from the world. Who needs people anyway?
What is your connection with darkness? (pics)
brought to you by
Your wise quote is: "Love is life. And if you
miss love, you miss life" by Leo
Buscaglia.
Yes, love is indeed what you desire in your
life. If you have it or not is another matter,
but it is in your eyes the most important
feeling. You tend to be a romantic dreamer and
want you and your love to have that kind of
perfect love that you hear about in fairytales.
However that can be hard to find, but it
doesn't mean you are going to stop looking.
That is so, so true...
Your soul is caring.
Other people are your concern, even if you
don't know them. If you see a person trip you
worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones
first and you're very mature. When someones
sick you're nurturing and always try to help
family and friends when failure strikes them.
You can be called the motherly one, if you are
in a group of people, which doesn't have to be
bad. Love is something that's already in you
and you have a lot to give whether you believe
it or not. Your friends probably love you very
much and come to when they need help since
you're reliable. People can feel secure with
you and generally like you.
How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by
You are a
protector.
Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.
Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Lewis
Facial expression: Smile
What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Time 2 give up. No point doing anymore
In just one day alone, my mood can b a total roller coaster ride.
Morning- down, withdrawn, can't see the point of smiling or laughing
Late morning- slightly more cheery but was it a false front? Not too sure myself.
Afternoon- Feeling genuinely happy. cos went bowling and it was better than previous sessions
Now- Getting a bit pissed off.. Ok, mayb make that very pissed off
Going 2 b rather abstract now so bear with me.
What happens if u agree with both sides on different things?
What happens if both sides don't care abt what you say?
In the end, u get blamed by one side and ignored by the other.
Yes people, those that really noe me should noe what this situation is about. But so?
I've said this more than once but did u guys care? NO! I've running out of energy. I really can't be bothered but for the simple fact that I care too much. That's my flaw and my virtue. To care for others is to simply give them the ability to harm you. I've realised that there is no longer any point 2 break down or get depressed about it. After this post, I shall attempt 2 keep my mouth shut about anything to do with this issue. so if i dun give any more replys or seem to give one syllable replies, u pple should noe why.
But one last thing. I'm sorry to some people. Without me, this whole debate would probably have not happened. I am the root cause and it was unintentional but now I withdraw from this battle, this useless fight..
~Leaving the battlefield forever and never coming back.~
Morning- down, withdrawn, can't see the point of smiling or laughing
Late morning- slightly more cheery but was it a false front? Not too sure myself.
Afternoon- Feeling genuinely happy. cos went bowling and it was better than previous sessions
Now- Getting a bit pissed off.. Ok, mayb make that very pissed off
Going 2 b rather abstract now so bear with me.
What happens if u agree with both sides on different things?
What happens if both sides don't care abt what you say?
In the end, u get blamed by one side and ignored by the other.
Yes people, those that really noe me should noe what this situation is about. But so?
I've said this more than once but did u guys care? NO! I've running out of energy. I really can't be bothered but for the simple fact that I care too much. That's my flaw and my virtue. To care for others is to simply give them the ability to harm you. I've realised that there is no longer any point 2 break down or get depressed about it. After this post, I shall attempt 2 keep my mouth shut about anything to do with this issue. so if i dun give any more replys or seem to give one syllable replies, u pple should noe why.
But one last thing. I'm sorry to some people. Without me, this whole debate would probably have not happened. I am the root cause and it was unintentional but now I withdraw from this battle, this useless fight..
~Leaving the battlefield forever and never coming back.~
Not again...
Quite a bit 2 blog about but due 2 time constraints, will just summarize highlights of the past few days..
Friday:
HSSRP- the usual lah... listen to presentation, run awau from ex-classmates, etc... those in hpps should noe the usual sequence of events. Anyway, finally passed something to my kor and it was quite humourous watching my classmates pass him the item.
Family Carecell- Topic of the day: Forgiveness... Such a sensitive topic... It was actually just discussing the ans 2 some questions like 'Is forgiving someone easy?" and "Must we forgive others?", etc...
I shall digress on this two questions. Forgiving isn't easy and i'm not talking abt those petty things like ur friend give u cold shoulder and whether u should forgive her... I'm talking abt my past.. I noe in the bottom of my heart that forgiving isn't easy. It took me 6 yrs? But I believe that it is possible to forgive someone, just hard, very hard..
But with God in your life, nothing is impossible!
Sat:
Service (Passion! Ministry)- Just needed to jump and be happy for once in the whole week. Church seems the only place other than home in which i can just forget all my problems. Anyway, the sermon... As usual, I went for altar call. Funny isn't it? how i seem 2 b able 2 relate 2 most of the sermons... Once i went up 2 the altar, there was such this need 2 cry out everything once more.. It's as if the stress & problems of the previous weeks can only be released when I go to church.. I noe that I'm too sensitive, too emotional, my virtue and my flaw. But anyway, back to the service... After crying it out, I felt so hyper.. I think Eileen can prove that... Was like jumping, jumping, jumping and still dun feel tired.. Then at dinner, was hyperactive again... oops?
Sunday:
Not much other than at night when I felt a bit depressed. Cos my life seem a bit too similar to previous times... History repeats itself but this is my part of my life i rather skip.. Yes pple... Feel free 2 jump 2 assumptions. Some pple already have. Thinking that my MSN nick "Dun want 2 go thru this again... It didn't turn out well the last time and it won't turn out well this time... " means that i'm lovesick.. Rite.
Today:
Anyway, the gist of today was that sammi found out that i had a handphone and so she was quite upset (to put it mildly)... Went kap and it was quite amusing... Then came home, talk 2 parents abt a certain issue... Went 2 someone's blog.. decide that there's no longer any point of tagging or defending anyone. my words r just ignored. hui shi, i learn from u. I'll stop caring about that tagboard. tag all u want, it's no longer my concern. I give up.
Yes yes, i'm getting bitter. how sad, dun u agree? I dun care. need to stop blogging liao...
Friday:
HSSRP- the usual lah... listen to presentation, run awau from ex-classmates, etc... those in hpps should noe the usual sequence of events. Anyway, finally passed something to my kor and it was quite humourous watching my classmates pass him the item.
Family Carecell- Topic of the day: Forgiveness... Such a sensitive topic... It was actually just discussing the ans 2 some questions like 'Is forgiving someone easy?" and "Must we forgive others?", etc...
I shall digress on this two questions. Forgiving isn't easy and i'm not talking abt those petty things like ur friend give u cold shoulder and whether u should forgive her... I'm talking abt my past.. I noe in the bottom of my heart that forgiving isn't easy. It took me 6 yrs? But I believe that it is possible to forgive someone, just hard, very hard..
But with God in your life, nothing is impossible!
Sat:
Service (Passion! Ministry)- Just needed to jump and be happy for once in the whole week. Church seems the only place other than home in which i can just forget all my problems. Anyway, the sermon... As usual, I went for altar call. Funny isn't it? how i seem 2 b able 2 relate 2 most of the sermons... Once i went up 2 the altar, there was such this need 2 cry out everything once more.. It's as if the stress & problems of the previous weeks can only be released when I go to church.. I noe that I'm too sensitive, too emotional, my virtue and my flaw. But anyway, back to the service... After crying it out, I felt so hyper.. I think Eileen can prove that... Was like jumping, jumping, jumping and still dun feel tired.. Then at dinner, was hyperactive again... oops?
Sunday:
Not much other than at night when I felt a bit depressed. Cos my life seem a bit too similar to previous times... History repeats itself but this is my part of my life i rather skip.. Yes pple... Feel free 2 jump 2 assumptions. Some pple already have. Thinking that my MSN nick "Dun want 2 go thru this again... It didn't turn out well the last time and it won't turn out well this time... " means that i'm lovesick.. Rite.
Today:
Anyway, the gist of today was that sammi found out that i had a handphone and so she was quite upset (to put it mildly)... Went kap and it was quite amusing... Then came home, talk 2 parents abt a certain issue... Went 2 someone's blog.. decide that there's no longer any point of tagging or defending anyone. my words r just ignored. hui shi, i learn from u. I'll stop caring about that tagboard. tag all u want, it's no longer my concern. I give up.
Yes yes, i'm getting bitter. how sad, dun u agree? I dun care. need to stop blogging liao...
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Oversensitive, over emotional? ya, i think so
If this is growing up, i want no part of it. No matter how i try to be cheerful, something will still spoil my mood every few days..
B4 writing the bitter stuff, shall rattle on about my new obsession, love at dolphin bay or also known as hai tun wan lie. It's a chinese show on channel u, every wed, thurs and fri at 7:30pm. Thanks to gan jiel, who brought the vcd of this 2 sch, i started liking it but had no chance 2 watch the whole serial then since it is showing on tv, may as well catch it.
The first episode was so touching, i cried. Ok, mayb not cry but there were tears on my face. Zerya and Tianbian so cute as children, sighs... I still like the legend most. Quote "Since then, dolphins have been guardians of love"... So sweet... No, i'm not being sarcastic...
Then today, a perfectly normal day but guess it's just my hormones, i can get all worked up over simple issues... Shalln't mention names for obvious reasons lah...
The same old feeling that no one understands me shall pop ups again and that no matter what, i should never get close to anyone as that will only b 1 more person who can hurt me more... Yes yes, that's going 2 b all the disagreement in opinion that i shouldn't b cold, etc... But still, it's frenz that can hurt you the most, even if it's unintentional... I noe that that person has no intentions of hurting me but i'm too sensitive, i guess? Even though that person is close to me, that person can still hurt me. And I just can't tell anyone what i'm feeling cos it seems so childish but hey, accept that, it's me.
I like this one example, when Ms Ong asked us to identify our style of dealing with problems, the whole class was actually qutie shocked that i would burst and start shouting at someone, etc... Other than gloria lah... This already shows how well those around me noe me... But even those that noe me, sighs... There'll never b any1 who can fully understand me, I'm rite, aren't I? Thanks for those that try but no offence, u can only understand to such an extent. I am way weaker than you guys think, you all noe that i'm weak but how weak? When would I break? Do you noe? sighs...
Better go and stop reflecting on this negative thoughts... see? I'm still trying 2 be the "old me" but well... the keyword here is "trying" and not succeeding...
B4 writing the bitter stuff, shall rattle on about my new obsession, love at dolphin bay or also known as hai tun wan lie. It's a chinese show on channel u, every wed, thurs and fri at 7:30pm. Thanks to gan jiel, who brought the vcd of this 2 sch, i started liking it but had no chance 2 watch the whole serial then since it is showing on tv, may as well catch it.
The first episode was so touching, i cried. Ok, mayb not cry but there were tears on my face. Zerya and Tianbian so cute as children, sighs... I still like the legend most. Quote "Since then, dolphins have been guardians of love"... So sweet... No, i'm not being sarcastic...
Then today, a perfectly normal day but guess it's just my hormones, i can get all worked up over simple issues... Shalln't mention names for obvious reasons lah...
The same old feeling that no one understands me shall pop ups again and that no matter what, i should never get close to anyone as that will only b 1 more person who can hurt me more... Yes yes, that's going 2 b all the disagreement in opinion that i shouldn't b cold, etc... But still, it's frenz that can hurt you the most, even if it's unintentional... I noe that that person has no intentions of hurting me but i'm too sensitive, i guess? Even though that person is close to me, that person can still hurt me. And I just can't tell anyone what i'm feeling cos it seems so childish but hey, accept that, it's me.
I like this one example, when Ms Ong asked us to identify our style of dealing with problems, the whole class was actually qutie shocked that i would burst and start shouting at someone, etc... Other than gloria lah... This already shows how well those around me noe me... But even those that noe me, sighs... There'll never b any1 who can fully understand me, I'm rite, aren't I? Thanks for those that try but no offence, u can only understand to such an extent. I am way weaker than you guys think, you all noe that i'm weak but how weak? When would I break? Do you noe? sighs...
Better go and stop reflecting on this negative thoughts... see? I'm still trying 2 be the "old me" but well... the keyword here is "trying" and not succeeding...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Cheery me? I hope...
Anyway, after friday's entry... I really broke down and cried and then just felt the urge to talk to someone so called shao... But that was after after trying 2 contact glo and huishi... Anyway, kor kinda cheered me up and parents also cheered me up so was back to normal...
Sat: Met gloria for IRS project.. went 2 MacDonalds for breakfast... Long time never eat hotcakes with sausage liao... After that, went Sentosa, Dolphin Lagoon... Debating whether or not to get tickets but in the end, just decided to get. Thank goodness... The show actually started even though there was a slight drizzle.. Had front row seats.. The dolphins so cute!!! =) After the whole show which i videotaped down, me and glo had to pick btw andersen of denmark ice cream or taking a photo with the dolphin for $10... Sigh.. the dolphin won... Just for a photo, we paid 10 bucks!! Nvm...
Went underwater world and started being lame... Saw cuttlefish on display and i immediately thot of sotong= blur... So ask glo to take picture with them.. So bad of me, rite? But she agreed cos the display said that actually cuttlefish were the most intelligent of inverbrates (is that how you spell it?)... Then saw jellyfish... so cute! white and small just swimming away and couldn't resist nicknaming it blob blob... lol
Started going on the conveyor belt and saw this fish that looked really blur, it's the big one with the eyes making it look blur... Lol.. Glo attempted to take quite a few pictures and most were quite nice actually. Went back to harbourfront for lunch and shared a bowl of ice kachang with glo... Walked around and then headed back home.
Just had enough time to bathe and get ready for church.. Service...
How do i explain? When I stepped into the chapel, I started to feel more energetic even though barely 5 min ago, I was trying not to doze off in the car.. There was such this energy that just comes into me each time I go for service...
Guess it's just the effect of not going to church for 2-3 wks and now, there's this longing inside me for that atmosphere.. During worship, still felt quite energetic then later when the mood was more serious and we just worship God, I couldn't help but cry... or at least, there were tears... Cos of these lyrics..
"You were the only one that died for me, gave your life to set me free, so i lift my voice in adoration..." that's so true.. All the troubles that seemed to be bothering me the past week, I just surrendered it up to God. The release was such something that I really needed the whole week, surrendering everything up to God. Then after that was Holy Communion then Pastor Gerald preached about finacial blessing and giving
At first, I didn't really think it applied much to me until I really begun to listen.. Especially the one about setting your priorities right...
~ Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to read one chapter of the Bible but so easy to read the whole best-selling novel?
Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to squeeze going to church into your schedule but so easy to go out with your friends at the last minute?
Isn't it funny how hard it is to memorize bible verses but so easy to repeat the lastest gossip?
Isn't it funny how you sit at the front row of a ball game but sit at the back row in church?
Isn't it funny how 50 bucks seem so big when giving it for offering but seem so small when you go shopping?
Isn't it funny how 1 hour of reading God's Word seem so long but one hour of computer games just seems so short? ~
There were more examples given but this is enough to get my point across... In my life, I know that without the camp last year, I would probably have forgotten the importance of putting God first.. There would be no fire in me to run after God, even now, I'm just trying so hard to make sure the fire doesn't die out..
That's about all for service...
After that, my day was quite normal liao. Gtg and finish hw now.. bb
Sat: Met gloria for IRS project.. went 2 MacDonalds for breakfast... Long time never eat hotcakes with sausage liao... After that, went Sentosa, Dolphin Lagoon... Debating whether or not to get tickets but in the end, just decided to get. Thank goodness... The show actually started even though there was a slight drizzle.. Had front row seats.. The dolphins so cute!!! =) After the whole show which i videotaped down, me and glo had to pick btw andersen of denmark ice cream or taking a photo with the dolphin for $10... Sigh.. the dolphin won... Just for a photo, we paid 10 bucks!! Nvm...
Went underwater world and started being lame... Saw cuttlefish on display and i immediately thot of sotong= blur... So ask glo to take picture with them.. So bad of me, rite? But she agreed cos the display said that actually cuttlefish were the most intelligent of inverbrates (is that how you spell it?)... Then saw jellyfish... so cute! white and small just swimming away and couldn't resist nicknaming it blob blob... lol
Started going on the conveyor belt and saw this fish that looked really blur, it's the big one with the eyes making it look blur... Lol.. Glo attempted to take quite a few pictures and most were quite nice actually. Went back to harbourfront for lunch and shared a bowl of ice kachang with glo... Walked around and then headed back home.
Just had enough time to bathe and get ready for church.. Service...
How do i explain? When I stepped into the chapel, I started to feel more energetic even though barely 5 min ago, I was trying not to doze off in the car.. There was such this energy that just comes into me each time I go for service...
Guess it's just the effect of not going to church for 2-3 wks and now, there's this longing inside me for that atmosphere.. During worship, still felt quite energetic then later when the mood was more serious and we just worship God, I couldn't help but cry... or at least, there were tears... Cos of these lyrics..
"You were the only one that died for me, gave your life to set me free, so i lift my voice in adoration..." that's so true.. All the troubles that seemed to be bothering me the past week, I just surrendered it up to God. The release was such something that I really needed the whole week, surrendering everything up to God. Then after that was Holy Communion then Pastor Gerald preached about finacial blessing and giving
At first, I didn't really think it applied much to me until I really begun to listen.. Especially the one about setting your priorities right...
~ Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to read one chapter of the Bible but so easy to read the whole best-selling novel?
Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to squeeze going to church into your schedule but so easy to go out with your friends at the last minute?
Isn't it funny how hard it is to memorize bible verses but so easy to repeat the lastest gossip?
Isn't it funny how you sit at the front row of a ball game but sit at the back row in church?
Isn't it funny how 50 bucks seem so big when giving it for offering but seem so small when you go shopping?
Isn't it funny how 1 hour of reading God's Word seem so long but one hour of computer games just seems so short? ~
There were more examples given but this is enough to get my point across... In my life, I know that without the camp last year, I would probably have forgotten the importance of putting God first.. There would be no fire in me to run after God, even now, I'm just trying so hard to make sure the fire doesn't die out..
That's about all for service...
After that, my day was quite normal liao. Gtg and finish hw now.. bb
Friday, April 01, 2005
April Fool... Not what it seemed...
Today started quite well and had fun playing april fool jokes on the teachers. During our IT lesson, swapped with 212 and went over to their class. Turns out that Mr Teo wasn't that angry and just told us to go back to our class. He was even smiling away! *faints from shock*
Then during maths, had a new math teacher.. Wasn't intentional but we er... swapped with the other class again and some of us went for geog in 212 while some came over to our class for maths... Ms Sia found out and just told us not to pull that again and told the new math teacher what happened. He took it quite well actually..
Oh ya, before that. During lunch break, hui shi commented that i looked quite upset/moody. Didn't really realize that.. Was just daydreaming but mood was kind of bad, weird... Nothing should b bothering me, unless... it's. Nvm.
For English... the thing that really affected every1 was the trick that we played on ms ow. Shan't elaborate further but now as i think about it... I feel guilty lah. There's something that's upsetting me but I just can't say it out... Sighs... Maybe Monday, everything will be better.
But even as I write this, i think i'm getting too self-centered. All I blog about is myself... Even when my loved ones are facing problems... Guess those problems also affect my mood. I know that I've been more moody and more easily upset recently. It's not me but I can't help it. If I'm not moody then everything will just accumalate and I'll break down soon. So all those reading this, keep me in prayer, can? I just want 2 be the old me, where i laughed way more often and wrote less depressing posts...
But I'm sceptical.. My own problems aren't that bad, it's just worrying over everyone else that's taking it's toll on me cos I just care too much... Caring isn't bad but yet... Really can't pinpoint when or why the change in me occurred... If this is growing up, I'll rather remain a child 4eva.
Then during maths, had a new math teacher.. Wasn't intentional but we er... swapped with the other class again and some of us went for geog in 212 while some came over to our class for maths... Ms Sia found out and just told us not to pull that again and told the new math teacher what happened. He took it quite well actually..
Oh ya, before that. During lunch break, hui shi commented that i looked quite upset/moody. Didn't really realize that.. Was just daydreaming but mood was kind of bad, weird... Nothing should b bothering me, unless... it's. Nvm.
For English... the thing that really affected every1 was the trick that we played on ms ow. Shan't elaborate further but now as i think about it... I feel guilty lah. There's something that's upsetting me but I just can't say it out... Sighs... Maybe Monday, everything will be better.
But even as I write this, i think i'm getting too self-centered. All I blog about is myself... Even when my loved ones are facing problems... Guess those problems also affect my mood. I know that I've been more moody and more easily upset recently. It's not me but I can't help it. If I'm not moody then everything will just accumalate and I'll break down soon. So all those reading this, keep me in prayer, can? I just want 2 be the old me, where i laughed way more often and wrote less depressing posts...
But I'm sceptical.. My own problems aren't that bad, it's just worrying over everyone else that's taking it's toll on me cos I just care too much... Caring isn't bad but yet... Really can't pinpoint when or why the change in me occurred... If this is growing up, I'll rather remain a child 4eva.
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