last week of school. mood swings.

Ok, I can't be bothered to tell how my whole week was like so I'll just blog about the highlights.
On tuesday, went Botanic Gardens. Slacked around for 5 hours or so. Pigged out on junk food. Walk around. Talk with friends. Stone. Doodle. Actually, only sketched one pic but it was nice lah.. If only I didn't wear black. The sun was beating down on me as I sketched. That contributed to my tan. :p
Fast-foward to thursday.After school, went Junction 8. Walked around. Gan Jie had a hair cut. She looks even more chio now. Took neoprints... We're getting better at taking and decorating them... Haha. But ya, even as I'm so happy. I can't help but think of what was to come.
Friday. The last official day of school. I was upset. Over results and several other things... I knew my marks all along. But the confirmation... I passed. That much, I should be thankful for. But it's because of moderation. The utter dissapointment in myself. My pride has taken yet another bashing. I was upset. So many times I was on the verge of tears. And I just gave in. I had to resort to hiding in the toilet cubicle to let my tears out before going for assembly. I didn't hide how upset I was and all but I refuse to cry in front of most of you... Then after school, I was really pissed off and upset cause I was running late for piano. I was listening to my newest CD, some chinese love songs and all. And I was on the bus. Gan jie, you should be able to guess what happened. Ah well... To the rest of you, all the best in guessing. Had piano. Cheered up a bit... Was just stoning and slacking the night away...
Saturday. Lit sem. How can I not cheer up? Lol. Watching the plays and all... Lol. I'm getting repetitive but the MOV play was really funny and interesting. And Sly Lock can rap... Haha. So sad. Missed gan jie's presentation. But they chose to go first and never tell us. After lit sem, had some time to kill b4 going for cell so went gan jie's hse. Ate lunch. Watched parts of shows and all. Lol. Then she scare me by exaggerating how long 93 will take to school, that area... Anyway, reached church early. Loitered in manna... Bought something. Eyeing one of the notebooks too. Haha. See how. Might buy...
Cell. Confusion during Gel. Heehee. Played traffic light. But only 1 grp got it. Ah well. Hmm. Fast foward to service. Oops, forgot to mention. Signed up for youth camp! =) =) Me happy! Ok. Back to service. Worship. Wasn't really in the mood to jump or anything. Jumped lah but not as hyper... Announcements and all. Yeh! The new name of the youth ministry was announced. IGNYTE! =) The memories that the word brings back. June conference! Ok. I'm hyper now.. =p Anyway, sermon was about "3 Gifts to God"... Felt so guilty. Been neglecting my TAWG.... Anyway, went for altar call and apologized to God. Forgetting my previous concerns about various issues. Just concentrating on Him alone. As usual, after that, my mood gets better. But I've realized that if I only seek God's presence on Saturdays then of course, I won't grow and in a way, be moodier... So must constantly remind myself to do TAWG. =p
That's all for this week... I think....

Internet & blogging.

First, before I start blogging, let me just write out how I will use my various blogs from now on. Since I have 4 blogs, it gets hard to maintain but I still want to keep all of them so just use them for different occasions.
This blog - my life + christian perspective on how things went?
http://melikes.blogspot.com - mostly for me to gush on about my obsessions...
MSN space - hmm. random topics? will be rather similar to this blog at times... might copy entries over, okie?
Private blog - quite "duh". private. things i want to blog abt without letting others read

Ok. Now shall blog about yesterday. My weekly entry on church and all. In the morning, had secondary school league, bowling... Didn't do very well so shall fast-foward? But quite happy that my mood wasn't affected by my poor performance.

Rushed home for lunch, bath, then went for core group.. er. was late so went in during glorify.. sorry. but ya, really enjoyed it. the cons of skipping church for even one week. Had a quick sharing and testified of how God helped us during exams.. Ya, I can finally cheer up about my results. It's not good but I choose to look at it another way... At least I passed the 50 mark...

Cell.. Hmm.. Gel was fun. growth was a nice reminder to me about several issues... ah well. Fast-foward to service. The p6s joined us! Thus, the chapel was really crowded... Had to sit quite far back.. Nvm lah. It was nice to see the chapel packed. Worship. The usual. -jump jump jump- Yippee! Registration for youth camp starts next wk. Finally... Looking foward to it so much.. Sermon... Er.. "What in the world-wide-web are you doing?" Basically, the Internet. Did a internet addiction test.. Oops. I'm in the middle range.. There were a few other things but was starting to feel guilty... Didn't go up for altar call but was still touched by God.. In the sense that I just knew what I had to do after the service.. Yikes. Tears of guilt. But I needed those tears lah. =)

Dinner. Finally went for dinner as a cell after exams. But the queue and the price of Black Canyon put some people off.. Was tempted to just eat Macs as well. Ah well, could finally get a seat so just joined them at Black Canyon. Ordered hot dog set... Then went to Macs with Kelly to find Jeann and Jo.. waiting for the food to come so was bored...
Finally, food arrived. Actually, it was rather fast but it was just late. After 8. So was hungry... Should not have ordered hot dog. My fries were being eaten.. Lol. Just jkg. It was nice to have dinner and watch all the "entertainment"... haha. Hmm. I'm having a mind block now, can't write much anymore. Ah well, that's it then. But ya, my mood is rather good now.

My week

Hiya. Haven't blogged for quite a long time... So this might be a long entry. Depending on how much time I want to spend blogging and how much time I can spend blogging. I'll be doing a chronological account, okie?
Monday (10/10)
Last paper.. History. It was delayed by 45 min so was talking to gan jie.. The paper then after that... Escape 101. Go read gan jie's blog if you want. But the gist of it was that gan jie didn't feel like going out and in the end, we just stayed on the bus and er... separated from glo and shao... And actually we thought of the escape idea in only 5 min... After that, we convinced them we were going to bugis but we actually went j8 with hui shi's cuz... After that, was just lots of laughter.
Tuesday (11/10)
Didn't have any more papers so didn't go school... Went and visit Vera jie jie, my mum's friend's daughter... But ya, it was fun talking to her. After that, went with my mum to uncle's office for a photo shoot. Lol. Cos my uncle was helping to take pictures of my mum's beaded ascessories. My mum gave me the title of "Art Director". Lol. Was supposed to help think of design ideas so that the pictures would turn out nice. Such as scattering beads next to the products and such. Very fun.. =)
Wednesday (12/10)
Dad took leave too. So brought us to the zoo.. Ok, I was obsessing over the different animals.. Such as the white tigers, mangooses, etc... Dun ask why I like them. My taste is just weird... But it was fun watching the various shows and all. And a lot of walking. So got tired and all. After walking from 9 to 3, just went home and everyone just rested... There are some pictures. Might upload onto my MSN space, okie?
Thursday (13/10)
Dad still on leave. So went Science Centre. Had nice breakfast. Pancakes at Macs. Yummy. Then after that, was walking around looking at the various exhibits. Rather fun. Especially with Jonathan around. Lol. Walked for longer than expected. Dad decided to drive up to JB for lunch. So had lunch before driving to Pasir Ris Park. Interesting how I'm so busy... And how my dad gets all these ideas for family bonding. But it works.. Anyway, picture this. Playground, younger brother, me. I get so childish and start running around and playing with him. More pictures... I might upload.
Friday (14/10)
Supposed to go back to school. But in the end, since my group wasn't selected for choral nite, I was just slacking around. Watching gan jie's group rehearse... Lol. Then after that, grabbed a bite b4 going back to HPPS. Dragged gan jie along. =) Talked to Ms Chiang. Rather interesting. Then I had to rush back to school for CCA meeting. After CCA meeting, went to Coronation. Gan jie still with me. =) Had maggi mee and bubble tea. Then talked for over an hour... Yep, gan jie, we talked that long. It rained heavily outside. That was just random. But to me, it means quite a bit...
Saturday & today
Don't feel like blogging anymore. Gist of things is that my mood took a downward turn.. Dun ask why. I won't tell most people. I've decided not to open up other than to the selected few. and it's really few... That's all. See ya. Bye bye.

bad mood

Before i start blogging the focus of this entry, shall first start screaming at you...
You are really a coward. You didn't dare to look this way. Were you afraid that there's poison? What the... Stupid person. Your friend had to pull you yet you ran away. So pro...

There. I'm done scolding you. Now, to blog about why I was in such a bad mood even before that episode with 'you'. Had maths paper this morning. Haiz. I knew it. I knew it. I knew that I would die badly for the paper. Wouldn't it be ironic if I actually passed my science yet failed my maths? Sighs. Anyway, there's history on monday but i'm really tempted not to study... it'll make me more relaxed... Ahh!!!! I'm so dead. Then again, that's what I've been saying since after the maths paper. While I'm at it, I like to declare that I've got crazy. I'm insane too.. Whee... =) Rite. that's all for now. my nice nice post about my day...

Exams. Stress. Giving up?

Ok. I'm no longer in the mood to blog about each of my paper and what were the questions... So it'll be a rather short summary. Yesterday, English. Today, HCL. Prefer the chinese essay qn. Describe a reunion with your primary school classmates... Lol. English was ... describe a decision you made that led to a positive change in your life. I was so tempted to write about church camp.. but the teacher probably wouldn't approve... So decided to do the safe topic.. GEP. But I had time to write 2 paragraphs about camp. =)
That's the nice part of the exams. Now, it's totally different. I'm feeling stressed out. I'm feeling stressed out. Geog, Lit, Science, Maths, History. Hmm... One word: Fail. I admit my revision wasn't adequate but hey, it gets discouraging when your previous attempts to revise still resulted in fails and you have a track record of not being able to pass a single science test since ... last year? Geog ah. I'll see how much I know.
But revising now would not be wise. I'm not good at mugging the day before.. It makes me scared and even more stressed. But now, I realized, blogging actually gets me more stressed. but i'm too lazy to write in my diary so.. this will have to do.
Oh well, at least I get a one week break til I get my results...
That's all for now. Don't comment, okie? Not if you're going to reassure me... Cause I'm a pessimist now in case you haven't realized...

Sorry.

Gloria, I don't know when you'll read this entry but I feel like I need to say this, "Sorry."
On friday, I was pissed off. About what? I can't tell you. But er.. you should have been able to guess. The badminton session during lunch was just emotion-packed. Each of my serve were all overhead shots, each with my anger in them. My wanting to play with my spectacles off and hair let down. Weird. I didn't give you a normal game. The game was one-sided. All my shots were all overhead. So sorry. It wasn't fair to subject you to my anger... On second thoughts, it might have been. Oops, I didn't say that. =p Lolz. Anyway, sorry..

Wanting to give up.

I don't anymore what you people think after reading my blog entry. So what if I'm depressed? So what if I'm emotional? I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to listen anymore.
It's so tempting to just give up. On everything. Exams. Life. Everything that I hold dear. Relax, I'm not thinking of attempting suicide. It's just that I fail to see why I trusted. I'm tired.
Oh forget it. Please DO NOT comment. I needed to get everything out...

Repeated entry from MSN space

Ok... After that highly bitter entry, there was actually more to come. Piano exam results. It wasn't good. That's all I shall say. But anyway, was playing the piano to try to calm myself down but instead I was crying as I played the piano. Cause in that piano book, there was "Everytime" by Britney Spears, "Don't Cry Out Loud" by ... Can't remember who. So those songs didn't exactly help my mood.
Went into my room and wrote in my diary and it just hit me. Why I've been feeling so down. Why I couldn't find a solution to calm myself down. I've been neglecting God and TAWG. Oops. So I just took out this book I had called "God's words of life for teens". There were the various sections. Anger. Emotions. Forgiveness. Priorities. Stress. I had to read through those, don't you think? The various verses just popped out in the book and I couldn't help but laugh at how I've been so blind.

"Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." - James 1:19-20

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." - Romans 12:2

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13

"Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." - Matthew 18:21-22

This two verses on forgiveness were the ones that I had problems with. I know what God says. But yet, it's so hard to follow. To forgive that person seventy-seven times. I've forgiven him more than seven times. And it's fast approaching a high number. The things that he does.

"The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

"In the day of my trouble I will call to you, Lord, for you will answer me." - Psalm 86:7

Anyway, after reading the verses, I felt much better. Felt happier for the first time in this few weeks. Could finally enjoy dinner. Chicken chop and ice kachang. Though, I ended up shivering away. The lady gave me so much ice that it took a while just to finish the ice.

new bloggie: Initial D

yep. the title says it all. because it didn't feel right using a non-christian blogskin for this blog so I decided to come up with a new blog for blogskins and to write about random things like my latest obsession. which is currently initial d.
anyway, go take a look at that blog if you want. no intention of making a tagboard unless there's popular demand so just tag on this blog about the other one, k?
http://melikes.blogspot.com

lolz. gtg. time to surf the net for more info on initial d. =p

Cell outing + Service

Finally in the mood to start blogging about my life. Instead of those depressed ramblings like last time.
Anyway, on saturday had cell outing at Marina. Could only reach there at 11 as I had piano. Reached there and we played catching. Did I mention that I made the mistake of wearing jeans and running in the hot noon sun? =p After catching, lunch, bee hoon. Hmm.. Not bad. After lunch, cleaned up and the girls headed to eloise's house. So it's basically Eileen, Delia, Shu Mei, Helen, Delia, Chelsea, me and of course Elo. After 15 min of waiting for the bus to take to her house, it started raining. And we still needed to walk to her house so we just ran in the rain. Corrections, it was a drizzle at first but each step we took, the rain got heavier. Lol. Went to her house, grabbed towels and went down to the swimming pool showers to bathe. Oops. Then went back to her house, grabbed our bags and went to J8 and took neoprints. After that, rushed to church.
Worship Experience! Yippee! Me hyper! Even though we were so tired from celling outing and all but worship rox, as usual. =) Jolyn was singing.. Sermon and then communion. After that, a bit more worship. During that time, I felt like I was about to cry but no tears came. That's been so common recently. Hmm... Dunno why. After that, just went for dinner with family. Bee hoon and fried noodles with chicken wings. Yummy. 1 1/2 plates. Not bad, but could be better. I think my record's 1 3/4 plates... Lol. I'm really random now. Haha. That's all for now.

Random

Lol. At gloria's house now. Her birthday. And she wants me to blog and since it's her birthday, I shall listen to her. Had lots of laughs just now. Watching legally blonde and eating mashed potatoes.. Lol. Me hyper! Especially since it's saturday. The only sad thing about today is that I had to miss church. Sermon notes anyone? Please. There. There's enough for a blog entry. Happy now, Glo?

14th birthday =)

Lol. For those that didn't know, I turned 14th last night at 11pm. So actually everyone wished me in advance. =)
Shall blog about my birthday before I thank everyone, k? So be patient. =p Had to go to school. Got jigsaw puzzle from glo, shao and gan jie. They lost one piece though. Lol. Creative idea of fixing that.. =) Yah, gan jie got me the dolphin card that I like so much. *smiles* After that, normal school day. Went home, slacked. =) watched DVD. Then met mum and bro at the childcare before going to Pizza Hut. The cheesy pizza's nice. Ate 2 1/2 slices.. Oops. Then collected the mango cake at four leaves before going to aunt's house to cut the cake...
Now, shall blog about the presents. Got most of them rather early though. Let's see, my MP3 was a few months in advance, my nice T-shirt with the Christian saying. =) From my mum and dad. Earrings from aunt, dolphin cuddly from rachel, fish toy from marcus. CD from jose kor. Glo (couz) gave chocolates. Yummy. Dolphin candle holder from fishie. Doggie keychain from han chang. Thumbdrive from another aunt. Notebook and pen from auntie amy. Lots and lots of well-wishes from various people. You know who you are, shan't bother typing it out, k? Unless anyone has any violent objections... =p
That's about it. Shall say "thanks" once more. Thanks. Ok I'm hyper now.. Thus all the smilies. =)

Fyi, this is a copy and paste entry from my msn space. Can't be bothered to type it out again. That's all. =)

Everything.

This is only meant for the reading of you three, hui shi, gloria and shao wen. so everyone else, can i please ask that you all respect that and not read? And no, I'm not naive and believe that everyone will listen but even if you read, don't comment, ok? Please.

Anyway here goes. Even typing this blog entry takes a lot out of me. After reading what gan jie and gloria wrote, I think it's my turn. I guess it's just right to start from yesterday. Yesterday, after seeing your arm, I already started hurting again inside. Your laughter, your treating it as such a joking matter didn't help. Do you know why it hurts us? Not only because you're cutting yourself, but also because we who care for you are powerless to stop you. Nothing we say seems to stop you, the helplessness of it all. I just couldn't take it and broke down during chinese lesson. I pity gloria. I guess, in a way, she was stuck. Hui Shi, when you read this, know that Gloria never approved of it. I suggested telling lao shi before and she stopped me. But I was crying and breaking down, kicking the table and the chair, banging my fist on the table in frustration. That was why she relented and came with me to tell laoshi. Now, for me to explain why I wanted to tell laoshi. I didn't expect much from telling laoshi, it's not like you'll stop. I'm not that naive. I know that once you start, it's hard to stop. But considering the fact that at least laoshi has some authority, I had been hoping that at least she could try to help. I mean, which one is worse? Us trying to talk to your mum or laoshi? At least, laoshi has more chance. On hindsight, it obviously wasn't such a good idea to tell laoshi.
Next, your reaction to it all. You felt that we've betrayed you. Fine, I admit that we did tell laoshi all these private and personal things that you trusted us with. That part, we were wrong. But please, what did you expect us to do? Sit there and watch you cut yourself even more? Do you know that almost everyday, I think of your cuts and feel helpless and cry at least once every week cause the image of your wrist is always in my mind. The cuts in the shape of a "z", the ones that are getting even longer. I can't get them out of my head. I'm too worried about what will happen if one day, things go wrong and accidents happen. I know that we've lost your trust. And I know that it's very hard to regain a person's trust. It takes time and willingness on both parties. So I ask only this of you, give us that chance. Gloria does have a point. It's because of how close we were to each other that's why you feel so betrayed, that's why we're hurting so much inside. No matter how much we've lost your trust, no matter how unwilling you are to be close to us, I ask that you at least let us care for you, to show our care and concern. I still say what I said one year ago, when I smsed you. I remember what you said that you were kind of surprised to hear that from a friend you knew for only a few months. I said that I'll always be there for you and always willing to lend you that listening ear or that shoulder to cry on. It still remains the same.

HPPS.

After "much" thought, decided to retype the whole blog entry about monday and tuesday.
On Monday, had to go to school for national day celebration.. Shaln't elaborate too much. Then after that, rushed down to HPPS with rachel. Had fun talking to the teachers, as usual. And had to convince them to stay for the others.. -cough cough- Anyway, can't resist commenting that some pple didn't even say hi to the teachers before they started to play soccer. Guess that's their real reason for going back to HPPS: soccer. Most of the guys shot up a lot... Sighs. That's about it. Oh ya, saw Zoe and Yi Kai after so long. Had fun talking to them too. =) After that, had to go straight home. But at least could slack for the rest of the day.
Tuesday...
Met Gloria at the MRT Station, went and get the cake, walked around, grabbed a bite at KFC before meeting the rest, Rachel, Lim Yu, Nikki, Sammi, Gan jie, gloria (cuz), adwyn, gabriel, soon yoong, bryan. After a while, took the bus to West Coast, where we slacked, play cards, truth or dare -cringe-, etc... The guys left to play Lan. After a while, Marcus came. Stuck with all girls. =p. Went playground and play. Forced to agree to 2 more dare for gloria (cuz) and sammi's sake. Cos three of us was in this "enclosure" and every1 else started spinning us around. =p they were getting giddy but the others didn't let us out unless i agreed to the above mentioned condition. Sighs. Took a break at Macs before heading back to where we put our things. Govind, Joseph, Gabriel came back and the guys went off to play soccer. The girls decided to play frisbee but in another area. So we just took our valuables and since some of the guys' things were lying all around, we took it with us. Frisbee playing was fun! Our aim was -cough cough- not that good. =p Anyway, was quite fun watching the guys try to take back their things. My family came so had to watch over jon and missed out so much things. Sad. Later, it was supposedly time to eat. Mum told me to serve the guys since they weren't eating.. Sighs. So had to take food to Gabriel and Govind. After that, Gloria came up with such a "great" idea.. Let the guys think of my dare. Sighs. Had to go around asking strangers whether they wanted some food. Lol. Can't believe 2 out of 4 agreed. Aiyah, everything was rather fun lah. After a while, it was really just the girls left. The sun set! View was a bit obstructed but nvm. Still could see the sun set. =) Played hoverdisc with jon jon. =p Got to admit that everything was fun even though i was apprehensive about it at first.
Anyway, as everything is settled, there is no need for me to rebut what adwyn say. Just let the past be the past. =) Just want to add that I got a tan from that day at west coast. Lol. I'm starting to get obsessed with my tan. =p Fyi, I'm in a random mood now. =)

*Blogger's note: This blog entry was continued after a long period of time as blogger was not in the mood. Content was changed to suit the current situation of things.

Festival of Praise! Whoo!

Whee! I'm hyper now. Thanks to yesterday night lah.
Anyway, went Indoor Stadium for Festival of Praise. Was trying to find christabel when samuel saw me. Lol. A bit unexpected. Found bel and was walking around with her, talked to pple from cell, walked around some more, etc. Basically being very random. =)
After 1 hour or so of queuing, finally entered the stadium. Sat behind the stage, south wing. So during worship, had to read the lyrics opposite. Lol. Me and bel both not really in the mood to jump... So ya. After worship was prayer and then sermon. After sermon, bel was trying to persuade her parents to let her go up and join the guys from cell. But her parents don't let so I went up alone. We were hoping that if I go up, Bel's parents might relent. Sad thing was she did come up but only to pass me my bag before leaving. -sniffs- After sermon, was praise and worship once more. Guys, got to hand it to you all. I've seen you all jump during service but yesterday was like "wow!" You all were so hyper that I couldn't resist jumping too! Jump jump jump! -sorry, i'm hyper!- Anyway, I was jumping til my legs started aching so had to stop jumping, for a while only. Anyway, after that, smsed my dad and fortunately, he came and fetched me. So didn't have to take the bus and mrt which would mean i'll only reach home 12 plus. Was still so hyper in the car yet also tired. Mind was working but body wanted to rest... Oh ya, started to lose my voice also.. Sighs. Anyway, fop rox! Wish I went on friday.. -sniffs- Nvm, there'll always be next year! =)

maturing? i hope so...

Let's see what's happened recently.. For those who don't know, I got hit with a yellow disciplinary form for not handing up homework.. Shaln't elaborate too much cos it's not something to be proud of... But ya, realize that i've been slacking way too much and -cough cough- got to swallow my pride.. If you don't get it, then don't bother asking. But ya.. Really regret it but it's too late.
Time to look on the bright side.. I'm not really sure what the adult leaders see in me but i've been asked to join core group. It's kinda weird for me cos i'm usually very quiet and everything so was actually a bit nervous even though i know the people there. But it turned out fine, a learning experience. Similar to the IGNYTE conference for SPs, i too had doubts about that, but everything turned out bery well. Still.. It's like everyone sees something in me but I have no idea what that is. Same for being accepted at NUS High, still trying to come to grasp with that.
Anyway, service rox as usual! But guilt arose in me because i felt that i've dissapointed God through my actions. That form. So was a bit upset with myself, have been for the past few days as well.. But I kind of pushed those feelings away with God's help. I really don't know why but the image of the form being torn up kept going through my mind. The way it was being torn struck me. From the top, down then from the left to the right.. So was kind of like a cross. Reminded me of the play that I watched during SonicFest. The actresses torn up pieces of paper which symbolizes their broken hopes and dreams and paste all the pieces into the shape of the cross. It meant that we should bring our sufferings, our pain, our guilt, to God. So I managed to calm down.
Sermon was by this Pastor Timothy about running after God. Reminds me of last year's camp. The most important thing was about keeping our focus. That's always been my biggest problem, I guess. Went up for altar call. Could feel God's presence but surprisingly, I didn't really cry til after the altar call when we sang "running after you". I could feel the tears coming but I held back the tears and just sang the song as my heart's cry.
That's about it all. I've got to go offline now. Getting tired.

Finally have a chance to blog after 1 week... been either busy or just not in the mood.
Anyway, for the past 3 nights, been going down to Fort Canning for Sonicfest. It rocks! =) Shall elaborate more now! =)
Thursday, met joseph at plaza sing and waited for his friends. Then walked to fort canning. Saw sophia and her friend, annette. So ya, decided to go with them instead of with joseph and his friends. So joseph, no need to apologize for not being a good host, i decided to go with my friends what. Anyway thanks for telling me about sonicfest, it was a very nice experience. =) Interview with planetshakers and then an autograph session. Then soph, annette and I went for this performance in the theatre about love, about suffering. The gist of it was how we get hurt in our lives yet how the answer to our suffering is God. The great love of God. The play talked about about "the pain of suffering, the value of sacrifice." Talking about how when you love someone, you sacrifice all for that person. That play held a lot of meaning for me. That were other ideas discussed in the play like why do we have to suffer even though Jesus died on the cross for us.. The play touched me. Wish that some of my friends were there to watch the play too cos it applies to them as well.. Anyway, next was planetshakers up on stage. The atmosphere was .. Wow! Passion! Ministry brought my level of worship to another level but Sonicfest showed me the passion of others in other churches. During the songs, I was reminded of God's promise to me. Felt more relaxed and happier for the first time in that week. Another joy was to see teenagers so passionate in worshipping God, the experience was undescribable. Sophia and Annette wanted to stay in front so imagine the speakers blasting away, the vibrations so great that you can feel it. And the jumping up and down on the slope. Everything just becomes part of this wonderful experience. In my opinion, the concert ended too early even though it was 10pm liao.. Wanted this to go on.. Nevermind, there would always be friday!
Friday, after history drama, went down to Plaza Sing again. Pulled Gloria along for dinner. Then went to fort canning again for planetshaker and sonicflood's performance. Highlight was of course sonicflood's performance. The familiar songs that I haven't heard for such a long time, touching my heart. I was chao hyper! Jumping up and down! The few places that my mood will always be quite ok, consistent, etc is at home, church and such events. There's this freedom, no need to hide away. Words just can't be used to describe...
Saturday, bowling competition, cell, church. Will elaborate about those on my msn space. so refer there, k? but you'll have to be on my msn contact list. Then after church, grabbed a bite at Macs and rushed down to Fort canning. So sad, the book i wanted to buy was no longer sold... -sniffs- should have bought it the previous days. went for sonicflood's performance. was alone. my choice actually so joseph, just in case u're going to start apologizing, no need. it was nice being alone. i decided to just stand at the back and watch everyone else. besides, was too tired to jump. =[ It was nice to just watch everyone jumping, all united in praising God. At the end, after their last song, everyone was shouting "encore" so we got one more song. A nice way to end everything. Overall, it was a wonderful experience, wishing it could last longer. =p Thanks joseph for telling me about this and helping me get the ticket. Thanks sophia, annette, christabel yeo for being with me on thurs and fri! Had so much fun. =) Still so hyper now. =) Anyway, time to blog on my MSN Space... =p

bubbles.

this blog has been rather abandoned... oops. But it's cos I prefer blogging on my MSN Space. Dunno why though. Anyway, I want to blog about my weekend but feeling a bit tired. So shall blog about my obsession with bubbles. =)
Was at a chalet last night (refer to MSN Space for more details) and was blowing bubbles, bursting bubbles, etc... But when I blew the bubbles, I began to admire the beauty of the bubbles, catching the colours of the rainbow, floating higher then slowly settling to the ground before it burst. Bubbles are so beautiful yet they're almost unreal. They're barely there and easily destroyed. Kind of like our hopes, our dreams, our wishes, our aspirations... To us, we all hold our dreams dear to us, it's perfect, maybe a future that we want or something that we want to do. But yet, the world around us, the people, society seems to destroy this wishes, they make it seem like something impossible. Too many dreams trampled on, hope taken away. But yet, we still continue hoping no matter how many times others have burst our bubble.. That's the beauty of bubbles, our hopes and dreams...

Anyway, what I blogged just now is really random and I barely know what I'm talking about, it just seem to just come out from my mind as i blogged. Interesting, isn't it?

Attempting to be happy.

Changed my layout at long last. Just a reminder to myself that I'll never be alone and that God's always with me. =)

calm before the storm.

the calm is just over. after I finally made up my mind to go NUS High, made the decisions that I have to make, solve most of my problems. Then competition. Get so freaking stressed out. Start criticizing other schools just bcos I don't like someone in there. It's not me lor. I need a punching bad real badly. I don't want to mistreat my piano so I shall not bang on it. Shall just try to cool down. anyway I'm so pissed off due to my stupid bowling score today. I'm getting frustrated thinking about it. I'm so upset. Tears are threatening to come again. I know that I just want to forget that school ever existed and pon this whole week. Then maybe, I can regain enough strength to go back. Who knows? Quartets on thursday. Technically, it can't get any worse... I think. Who knows???

Shall stop blogging before i type in all the things that I feel like saying. which includes 4 letter words that aren't very nice...