Heehee. Yes, another entry in which I copy lines from books and put them into here. This just proves that I'm reading too much and losing my self-control. Anything I come across that I like, I copy it down. Oops?
"... where there's pain, there's still feeling and where there's feeling, there's hope."
[Sad but true? =) I totally agree... Guess that answers my question as to why I still hope even after feeling the pain. It's nice to see it in black and white. But yeps, so I shall hold onto this line. As long as I can still feel pain, I'm not that worried about losing myself.]
"... what a previous commodity love was and that the proper calibration of its giving and taking was too precise by far for mere humans."
[Is there a proper calibration to how much giving and taking there is in love?]
"The darkest hour comes before the dawn."
[It seems like the dawn now, doesn't it? But to me, it's not the dawn yet. Not yet. Shall elaborate more later.]
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, becuase the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater."
[Have I accepted the way things are? Is that why the pain is less nowadays? Somehow, I have my doubts about that. But anyway, it's true that accepting the situations in life does decrease the pair compared to going against the situation and being all worked up about it.]
Time for elaboration... Especially since I find the last quote especially relevant to me. I've been stating openly the state of my emotions for the past few weeks. And I still intend to be rather honest. For the past few days, the pain is still there. But it seems to have diminished? Or maybe I'm more used to it? I really don't know. But it's just interesting to see how I react nowadays compared to how I reacted two weeks back. There's still a reaction but it's so much more controlled and not as obvious as before. Have I gotten better? Or am I just more used to it? I really want to know the answer to the questions. Actually, there are a lot of questions on my mind. I'm worried that I'm using work as a form of distraction. I want the change in attitude to be genuine.
But to end off, I think that right now, I'm still coping. As I said, it's not the dawn yet for me. I don't see a glimpse of the sunlight. Yet, the darkness no longer seems so bad. Maybe cause my eyes have adjusted or maybe cause deep within me, I know that just around the corner, I'll be able to see the sunrise.
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