Whoa. I've finally reached the 300th entry mark. At long last... This will be my final entry at this url. Throughout the later part of last year, I was considering whether to change my url. But my friends and I couldn't think of anything suitable. So I decided to postpone it til I reached my 300th entry. It seemed so far away then.
Hmm. This blog was started at the end of 2004. To be precise, it was created after I came back from my 1st youth camp. For those who don't know, "Running after God" was the theme of the camp so ya... I've been blogging a lot more the past year? I only reached my 100th entry mark in April 2006. Then a few months later, I hit my 200th entry mark at the end of November. And now, 5 months later, my 300th entry. Dang. I should have rushed out a few more entries. Then can have my 100th entry and 300th entry on the same day but just 1 year apart. =p
My blogging style has changed a bit. The content of my blog has changed but not as much? My blog serves too many purposes. Sometimes, it acts as a platform for me to "talk" to others. Sometimes, it's a notebook for me to recount what happened. Other times, it serves as an outlet for my emotions. And recently, it serves as a place for my book reviews? =p But another change is that nowadays, I have more entries on my relationship with God and all. Yeps.
As to what my new url will be, I'm not too sure yet. I've shortlisted it down to a few. But as I hinted to mei, it won't be in English. Haha. Yeps. The next time I blog, it'll be on the new url. Ask me for the url? I might leave a link or something though. Depends on my mood. If I'm nice, I'll just provide a link. If not, then happy finding. I already gave a hint. =) Of course, you could always ask me. But whether I'll tell... Hmm. Actually, quite a high chance. Unless I'm feeling playful. =p
Wait. I've got another idea. Leave this blog alone and start a new one. So each 300th entry, a new blog. Hmm... See how things go? But the one thing that's confirmed, I won't be blogging at this url anymore. Mhmm... That's all. Bye! =)
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
eventful tuesday
Was recounting to mei how my day started off quite nicely actually.
Have I mentioned that I get to see the sunrise almost every morning? Ok. Corrections. I don't get to enjoy the whole process but I see the sky when it's filled with various shades of pink, orange and blue. Really pretty. When I left my house this morning, I looked out into the sky and as usual, was just captivated by the colours. Spent a few minutes trying to get a few photos with my handphone camera. Too bad my phone can't capture the colours as vividly as I see them.
While waiting for the bus, my MP3 player started playing "We're all in this together". Normally, I would just skip the song or something since all of us have heard it too much last year? But today, I just let the song play on. It was the right choice. As the song played, I started picturing either the show or our performance. It was really enjoyable just to reminisce about last year's concert. I kept smiling to myself while mouthing the lyrics and had to control the urge to do the actions. Was doing the actions mentally though. =p Mhmm. Yeps. =) You few, up for staying up after CCA ends? Maybe blast music in a classroom and revise for our exams together or something?
Erm. Got woken up in an unusual way. As in, I was no longer sleepy after I reached school. Haha. I shall not go into details. If not, I think I'm going to be "lectured" by more than one person? Heehee.
Cell biology. Hmm... Yay! To my group mates, great job! =) Considering that we finished everything yesterday. Chinese. the usual? Lunch. Whee! It was pretty fun? Haha. Maths. Viva. Oh well. I really should revise for the maths test. =p Art. Hmm... We got briefed about our mid-year exam. The format, the topics tested, etc... Hopefully I don't mess my exams up. Was dismissed one hour early so went down to the table outside the music room and just did my homework. Quite happy that I could finish up chinese and start on maths. It's quite interesting to observe who walks past. Most of the time, I would see various people walking past and then I'll just go back to my work. Fortunately, no one came over to the table. =)
Ok. That ends my recount of the day. As usual, time to address some things. To be really specific, the same issue that I've blogged about quite a bit since the start of the year? On the way home, I was thinking about some things that someone said and I just typed out what went through my mind in my handphone now, and for the first time ever, I'll type it out on my blog.
Hmm. I think it surprises people that I still dwell on that issue a lot. And more than one person has pointed out that I can control my feelings. I agree, but to an extent only. I'm human. The thought of having the opposite response has crossed my mind. But hey, as I said in my previous note, I rather hurt myself than hurt others. And that aside, I've made various promises and there are some things I live by. Things that have long been part of me. It's what defines me. My beliefs, my value system. Over the years, it hasn't changed. Look at it this way. Would you rather I change who I am because of what happened? If yes, tell me. I'll put that into consideration.
A few disclaimers. When I say hurt myself, it's more along the lines of bearing the emotions that come with the decision I make and the stand I take. Yeps. The few of you should be able to tell what I'm talking about in this note. And the question goes out to you all. I would like to know your answer. Thanks. =)
Have I mentioned that I get to see the sunrise almost every morning? Ok. Corrections. I don't get to enjoy the whole process but I see the sky when it's filled with various shades of pink, orange and blue. Really pretty. When I left my house this morning, I looked out into the sky and as usual, was just captivated by the colours. Spent a few minutes trying to get a few photos with my handphone camera. Too bad my phone can't capture the colours as vividly as I see them.
While waiting for the bus, my MP3 player started playing "We're all in this together". Normally, I would just skip the song or something since all of us have heard it too much last year? But today, I just let the song play on. It was the right choice. As the song played, I started picturing either the show or our performance. It was really enjoyable just to reminisce about last year's concert. I kept smiling to myself while mouthing the lyrics and had to control the urge to do the actions. Was doing the actions mentally though. =p Mhmm. Yeps. =) You few, up for staying up after CCA ends? Maybe blast music in a classroom and revise for our exams together or something?
Erm. Got woken up in an unusual way. As in, I was no longer sleepy after I reached school. Haha. I shall not go into details. If not, I think I'm going to be "lectured" by more than one person? Heehee.
Cell biology. Hmm... Yay! To my group mates, great job! =) Considering that we finished everything yesterday. Chinese. the usual? Lunch. Whee! It was pretty fun? Haha. Maths. Viva. Oh well. I really should revise for the maths test. =p Art. Hmm... We got briefed about our mid-year exam. The format, the topics tested, etc... Hopefully I don't mess my exams up. Was dismissed one hour early so went down to the table outside the music room and just did my homework. Quite happy that I could finish up chinese and start on maths. It's quite interesting to observe who walks past. Most of the time, I would see various people walking past and then I'll just go back to my work. Fortunately, no one came over to the table. =)
Ok. That ends my recount of the day. As usual, time to address some things. To be really specific, the same issue that I've blogged about quite a bit since the start of the year? On the way home, I was thinking about some things that someone said and I just typed out what went through my mind in my handphone now, and for the first time ever, I'll type it out on my blog.
Hmm. I think it surprises people that I still dwell on that issue a lot. And more than one person has pointed out that I can control my feelings. I agree, but to an extent only. I'm human. The thought of having the opposite response has crossed my mind. But hey, as I said in my previous note, I rather hurt myself than hurt others. And that aside, I've made various promises and there are some things I live by. Things that have long been part of me. It's what defines me. My beliefs, my value system. Over the years, it hasn't changed. Look at it this way. Would you rather I change who I am because of what happened? If yes, tell me. I'll put that into consideration.
A few disclaimers. When I say hurt myself, it's more along the lines of bearing the emotions that come with the decision I make and the stand I take. Yeps. The few of you should be able to tell what I'm talking about in this note. And the question goes out to you all. I would like to know your answer. Thanks. =)
colourgenics result
Tried out this colourgenics test and this was the result... My personal comments are in italics. Mhmm.
At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).
Hmm... How true? Haha. But a few questions for myself. Am I pushing too hard? Am I hoping unrealistically?
You dislike playing the field in every sense of the word. When you develop a relationship it needs to be a close fulfilling one, one that has deep meaning for all parties concerned.
Lol. Haha. I think I don't really need to comment on this? All those who know me well should know whether or not this is true.
All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst, this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.
Hmm. I like the first two lines? How to release pent-up emotions? Maybe I should take the advice given and go running/swimming. Not such a bad idea. Now if only I can find time... Actually, if I have time for myself, I'll be able to relax already.
All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.
I think the first line is quite true? But the rest of it is just inaccurate. I guess failure doesn't affect me that badly. And I really don't think that everyone in my sphere of influence has taken undue advantage of me. My failure is not due to those around me. Yeps. This is the one paragraph I really disagree with.
Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh.
As if. The first line is so not true. The future holds so much more for me. But yes, I would love to take a break and get away from everything and rest, then after I'm refreshed, I'll face everything once more. Yeps. What lack of appreciation? I disagree. There are still people who take the effort to appreciate me for my actions and in a way, that refreshes me?
Hmm.. I think that's enough analysis of the results? =p Yeps. I shall go on to my next blog entry topic. =)
At this particular time you are feeling the results of extreme stress and you are seeking a 'way out' but you are pushing too hard. Obviously you need peace, tranquillity and contentment. Your temperament is such that you are hoping, unrealistically perhaps, that your desires will shortly be fulfilled (even if at this time you are not quite sure what those true aspirations may be!).
Hmm... How true? Haha. But a few questions for myself. Am I pushing too hard? Am I hoping unrealistically?
You dislike playing the field in every sense of the word. When you develop a relationship it needs to be a close fulfilling one, one that has deep meaning for all parties concerned.
Lol. Haha. I think I don't really need to comment on this? All those who know me well should know whether or not this is true.
All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst, this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.
Hmm. I like the first two lines? How to release pent-up emotions? Maybe I should take the advice given and go running/swimming. Not such a bad idea. Now if only I can find time... Actually, if I have time for myself, I'll be able to relax already.
All of the stress and strains resulting from disappointment have led to agitation and anxiety. You have been going out of your way to make a good impression, but you have reservations as to the likelihood of succeeding. You feel that you have a right to accomplish all that you set your mind on but you have become helpless and distressed when circumstances have gone against you. The idea of failure is most upsetting and this can even mean utter dejection. You see yourself as a scapegoat and you feel everyone in your sphere of influence has tried to take undue advantage of you. You are trying to convince yourself that your failure to achieve standing and recognition is not of your making but indeed of those around you.
I think the first line is quite true? But the rest of it is just inaccurate. I guess failure doesn't affect me that badly. And I really don't think that everyone in my sphere of influence has taken undue advantage of me. My failure is not due to those around me. Yeps. This is the one paragraph I really disagree with.
Since in the recent past all of your hopes and aspirations have been denied you, you are now convinced that the future will hold nothing but anxiety so therefore 'why bother?' You would love to get away from it all, to escape from the trials and tribulations of this mundane existence and fall into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, which will protect you from the lack of appreciation and give you the chance to start afresh.
As if. The first line is so not true. The future holds so much more for me. But yes, I would love to take a break and get away from everything and rest, then after I'm refreshed, I'll face everything once more. Yeps. What lack of appreciation? I disagree. There are still people who take the effort to appreciate me for my actions and in a way, that refreshes me?
Hmm.. I think that's enough analysis of the results? =p Yeps. I shall go on to my next blog entry topic. =)
Sunday, April 08, 2007
old entries
I confuse myself a lot. It's normally not a smart move to read old blog entries but ya, I felt like reading through blog entries today so yeps..
Surprisingly, my mood was still normal after reading various blog entries? Except that at times, I had no idea what I was reading. As in, I couldn't remember what was it that I blog about. Lol.
Hmm... Didn't just read my previous blog entries. But yes, I confuse myself. I have no idea what prompted this whole reading of entries. And I have no idea why I didn't have the normal reaction. Interesting...
Ok. I'm just blogging about random stuff cause I'm in the mood to blog but have no idea what to blog about. =p
Ohh! I've gained weight. Does that mean all of you will finally stop making me eat more? Nah... Not a chance. But yeps, I guess my metabolism has fallen or I've been snacking too much. Think it's the latter. =p
Whee! New songs in my MP3 player. But prior to that, had to go through the agonizing process of deciding which songs to delete. >.< Bah. Oh well. But sorry mei, I think most of the songs in my player would still fall under your definition of "emo". Lol.
Waiting for tomorrow. It should prove interesting. Or at least, blog-worthy. I wonder why? Lol. The few of you in school will find out tomorrow. Yeps. =)
Surprisingly, my mood was still normal after reading various blog entries? Except that at times, I had no idea what I was reading. As in, I couldn't remember what was it that I blog about. Lol.
Hmm... Didn't just read my previous blog entries. But yes, I confuse myself. I have no idea what prompted this whole reading of entries. And I have no idea why I didn't have the normal reaction. Interesting...
Ok. I'm just blogging about random stuff cause I'm in the mood to blog but have no idea what to blog about. =p
Ohh! I've gained weight. Does that mean all of you will finally stop making me eat more? Nah... Not a chance. But yeps, I guess my metabolism has fallen or I've been snacking too much. Think it's the latter. =p
Whee! New songs in my MP3 player. But prior to that, had to go through the agonizing process of deciding which songs to delete. >.< Bah. Oh well. But sorry mei, I think most of the songs in my player would still fall under your definition of "emo". Lol.
Waiting for tomorrow. It should prove interesting. Or at least, blog-worthy. I wonder why? Lol. The few of you in school will find out tomorrow. Yeps. =)
Saturday, April 07, 2007
joys in my life
Hmm. I really like the past week? To be really precise, there were various incidences that made me smile quite a bit. I've already blogged a bit about tuesday so time to move on to wednesday.
Hmph. Mei left me halfway during physics. But AXIS was rather fun? Heehee. Yeps, I can't be a forensic scientist though. Our group only managed to identify 7 out of the 10 powders. Then after that, Christian Fellowship! =) Actually, there was something else before CF that made me smile but that's for me to know and up to you if you want to find out. =p Lol.
Yay! I'm really thankful for the time of sharing that we had during CF. I didn't really have anything specific planned in mind apart from a few questions and activities for the group. But the flow of conversation was really surprising. Touched on quite a few topics. Thank You God for leading the sharing! =) Mhmm. Wednesday's CF was really enjoyable and it brings a smile to my face when I think abou it. It's only the 5th session but it's already changed a lot from our first meeting. Mhmm.
Thursday... Hmm. Not much happened? Ohh. Just realized that I'm temporarily in charge of Journalism since the Year 5s are excused from CCA. Oh well. I'm excused from writing articles but for some weird reason, I want to complete one last article first. Yeps. After CCA, went off for dental before meeting my parents. Went to pick up Jon from HPPS. Ahh... I miss those primary school days. Lol. Must find time to go back and talk to the teachers! >.< Need to go back for my dose of lectures. Lol. After that, went to church for Maundy Thursday service. Hmm... Throughout the service, I kept thinking about Timeless. Ohh! Just change topic. Went for supper. Ended up eating one plate of bee hoon + 2 and one third chicken wing. Go figure how I got the 1/3. Lol.
Hmm. Friday. Turned down the chance to go east coast. =( Homework. But anyway, ended up sleeping til 12 noon or so? >.< Oh well. Ended up not doing any work. Left the house and met mel for dinner at Holland V. Yay! Sammi came and joined us. 1 out of 2 isn't that bad. =) Made our way to church for Timeless... Honestly, I think I cry too easily. The real-life accounts were just so touching. There's one more thing about me that makes going for special events a bit unbearable. There's always this thought, "What if ... was here. This would apply to ... so much." Throughout the years, I've thought this way many times and various names would be filled into the blank. Oh well. I'm thankful that at least, there was 1 less name in that blank since sammi went. Thanks girl. =) But ya... There were various people who I wished could have made it. Never mind. There's always next time, ya? =) Stayed out a bit more and had supper with mel and sammi. What did I get myself into ah? >.< Oh well.
Today. Got woken up by mummy asking if I wanted to go to a booksale. Normally, the automatic response is yes but what with homework and me being really sleepy, I fell back asleep. Fortunately, changed my mind and decided to go. It was held at Expo... >.< The other side of the island. How I wish that a few of you went with me. I need more pairs of eyes! Sadly, didn't find any book I want. I'm serious. Only bought 1 CD for myself... Realized that I think of my friends way too much. Apart from wanting various people at the book fair, I was also looking out for things for my friends. Hint. The CD wasn't the only thing I bought. Yeps. Oh well. Had to spend the budget my mum gave me, ya? Lol.
Ok. I better get back to work. Sighs. I want to watch the Saturday Night movie. But it's a more logical move not to. Not just cause of the homework but also cause that show would bring me back to the past. Lol. Not literally, of course. I want to sleep! Wait. Change sleep to rest. =p Actually, let's be greedy. I want to sleep and I want to rest. Ok ok. I'm just rambling now... >.< Hmph. Dislikes concerts. Steal people away from me. Haha. Yeps. My "siblings" are all at this concert. Bah. Ok ok. Chermy, stop rambling! Ok. Now I'm talking to myself. =p Oops?
Hmph. Mei left me halfway during physics. But AXIS was rather fun? Heehee. Yeps, I can't be a forensic scientist though. Our group only managed to identify 7 out of the 10 powders. Then after that, Christian Fellowship! =) Actually, there was something else before CF that made me smile but that's for me to know and up to you if you want to find out. =p Lol.
Yay! I'm really thankful for the time of sharing that we had during CF. I didn't really have anything specific planned in mind apart from a few questions and activities for the group. But the flow of conversation was really surprising. Touched on quite a few topics. Thank You God for leading the sharing! =) Mhmm. Wednesday's CF was really enjoyable and it brings a smile to my face when I think abou it. It's only the 5th session but it's already changed a lot from our first meeting. Mhmm.
Thursday... Hmm. Not much happened? Ohh. Just realized that I'm temporarily in charge of Journalism since the Year 5s are excused from CCA. Oh well. I'm excused from writing articles but for some weird reason, I want to complete one last article first. Yeps. After CCA, went off for dental before meeting my parents. Went to pick up Jon from HPPS. Ahh... I miss those primary school days. Lol. Must find time to go back and talk to the teachers! >.< Need to go back for my dose of lectures. Lol. After that, went to church for Maundy Thursday service. Hmm... Throughout the service, I kept thinking about Timeless. Ohh! Just change topic. Went for supper. Ended up eating one plate of bee hoon + 2 and one third chicken wing. Go figure how I got the 1/3. Lol.
Hmm. Friday. Turned down the chance to go east coast. =( Homework. But anyway, ended up sleeping til 12 noon or so? >.< Oh well. Ended up not doing any work. Left the house and met mel for dinner at Holland V. Yay! Sammi came and joined us. 1 out of 2 isn't that bad. =) Made our way to church for Timeless... Honestly, I think I cry too easily. The real-life accounts were just so touching. There's one more thing about me that makes going for special events a bit unbearable. There's always this thought, "What if ... was here. This would apply to ... so much." Throughout the years, I've thought this way many times and various names would be filled into the blank. Oh well. I'm thankful that at least, there was 1 less name in that blank since sammi went. Thanks girl. =) But ya... There were various people who I wished could have made it. Never mind. There's always next time, ya? =) Stayed out a bit more and had supper with mel and sammi. What did I get myself into ah? >.< Oh well.
Today. Got woken up by mummy asking if I wanted to go to a booksale. Normally, the automatic response is yes but what with homework and me being really sleepy, I fell back asleep. Fortunately, changed my mind and decided to go. It was held at Expo... >.< The other side of the island. How I wish that a few of you went with me. I need more pairs of eyes! Sadly, didn't find any book I want. I'm serious. Only bought 1 CD for myself... Realized that I think of my friends way too much. Apart from wanting various people at the book fair, I was also looking out for things for my friends. Hint. The CD wasn't the only thing I bought. Yeps. Oh well. Had to spend the budget my mum gave me, ya? Lol.
Ok. I better get back to work. Sighs. I want to watch the Saturday Night movie. But it's a more logical move not to. Not just cause of the homework but also cause that show would bring me back to the past. Lol. Not literally, of course. I want to sleep! Wait. Change sleep to rest. =p Actually, let's be greedy. I want to sleep and I want to rest. Ok ok. I'm just rambling now... >.< Hmph. Dislikes concerts. Steal people away from me. Haha. Yeps. My "siblings" are all at this concert. Bah. Ok ok. Chermy, stop rambling! Ok. Now I'm talking to myself. =p Oops?
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
little things
Today was a good day. Things happened that I didn't expect yet I don't really mind? A lot of unexpected stuff happened but as I said, I didn't mind and in fact, it kind of brightened my day?
Started off the day really, really sleepy. Yeps. Considering that I only had around 3 and a half hour of sleep? Laadeedaas. Lol. Ok. I'm going to be in bed by 12 today so that's a distinct improvement. =) Anyway, back to my day. I'll just fast-foward to lunch? Ok. Sorry mei for abandoning you but ya, you know where I went and why I went away. Disclaimer: I wasn't being moody. Read a few entries before to find out why I wanted to be alone during lunch. Ok. Wait. Instead of making people scroll down, I'll be nice. I'll state my reasons once more. Intending to do a one meal fast for three days. Started today. So during lunch, I go to some corner of the school and just focus on seeking God and being in His presence. Today was much needed... No, I didn't get the answers to my questions but rather I was renewed once more. And God reminded me of some stuff... Yeps. Kind of like a warning? Oh well. Then two unexpected incidents. Lol. As unexpected as they were, I really don't mind similar incidents. Don't believe that it was by chance that those things happened. Yeps.
Then after school, decided to spoil myself and headed to the library. Borrowed two more books. Pft. I have to resort to pulling out random books liao. All the books that I'm looking for aren't on the shelves. Or I've read all the books by the author. Annoying. =p Haha. Shall wait for awhile and start on Mercedes Lackey again. Provided I get around to finishing the stories that I have in soft copy. =p Went back home and yet another surprise. Yeps. My reaction was pretty amusing if I can say so myself. =p Mhmm. Then let myself slack the afternoon away. Mhmm. Yeps. =p
Better go off now. Don't want a repeat of me oversleeping. =p Oops? Goodnight everyone. Hmm. Some people are going to be surprised tomorrow. =p
Started off the day really, really sleepy. Yeps. Considering that I only had around 3 and a half hour of sleep? Laadeedaas. Lol. Ok. I'm going to be in bed by 12 today so that's a distinct improvement. =) Anyway, back to my day. I'll just fast-foward to lunch? Ok. Sorry mei for abandoning you but ya, you know where I went and why I went away. Disclaimer: I wasn't being moody. Read a few entries before to find out why I wanted to be alone during lunch. Ok. Wait. Instead of making people scroll down, I'll be nice. I'll state my reasons once more. Intending to do a one meal fast for three days. Started today. So during lunch, I go to some corner of the school and just focus on seeking God and being in His presence. Today was much needed... No, I didn't get the answers to my questions but rather I was renewed once more. And God reminded me of some stuff... Yeps. Kind of like a warning? Oh well. Then two unexpected incidents. Lol. As unexpected as they were, I really don't mind similar incidents. Don't believe that it was by chance that those things happened. Yeps.
Then after school, decided to spoil myself and headed to the library. Borrowed two more books. Pft. I have to resort to pulling out random books liao. All the books that I'm looking for aren't on the shelves. Or I've read all the books by the author. Annoying. =p Haha. Shall wait for awhile and start on Mercedes Lackey again. Provided I get around to finishing the stories that I have in soft copy. =p Went back home and yet another surprise. Yeps. My reaction was pretty amusing if I can say so myself. =p Mhmm. Then let myself slack the afternoon away. Mhmm. Yeps. =p
Better go off now. Don't want a repeat of me oversleeping. =p Oops? Goodnight everyone. Hmm. Some people are going to be surprised tomorrow. =p
late night
I should get to sleep? Attempting to finish up one last piece of homework first though... Mhmm.
I realized that I was 30 minutes away from breaking my two twix a day rule. Lol. Ate one at 12:34 so it was the next time so new rations allowed. =) Lol. Hmm... Whenever things pick up slightly, then they go back down again? But at least, there are still relatively high points. They keep me going. Along with my daily dose of faith and hope. Twix too? Mhmm... Lol.
Going to start my fast today. I'm really praying that nothing crops up during lunch. I want to just spend lunch being in God's presence and hopefully, hear His voice. I need guidance, direction, strenght, assurance and many other things... To be renewed once more. Yeps. Think I better go sleep now. After all, I tell people to take care, sleep early so I better do that too. Mhmm. Disclaimer: was staying up for work. Yeps.
I realized that I was 30 minutes away from breaking my two twix a day rule. Lol. Ate one at 12:34 so it was the next time so new rations allowed. =) Lol. Hmm... Whenever things pick up slightly, then they go back down again? But at least, there are still relatively high points. They keep me going. Along with my daily dose of faith and hope. Twix too? Mhmm... Lol.
Going to start my fast today. I'm really praying that nothing crops up during lunch. I want to just spend lunch being in God's presence and hopefully, hear His voice. I need guidance, direction, strenght, assurance and many other things... To be renewed once more. Yeps. Think I better go sleep now. After all, I tell people to take care, sleep early so I better do that too. Mhmm. Disclaimer: was staying up for work. Yeps.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
twix makes my day
Whee! I've got two and a half packs of twix left at home. Whee! I think I'm being addicted to twix. Once I start, it takes lots of willpower to stop. Heehee. Guess I'm just following the stereotype of girls liking chocolate and eating it a lot? =p Mhmm. Then again, that's pretty normal. Lol. Ate two yesterday while attempting to do homework. Then ate one just now. I'm trying to limit myself to two a day... But honestly, I think that's not possible? =p
Haha. Anyway, shall do a quick recount of yesterday and today. Hmm. Didn't manage to do much homework yesterday. Oh well. Service was different. The various ministries set up booths and we were asked to walk around finding out more about the ministries and maybe even join one. Used to be in drama&dance but stopped going since late last year. I've been thinking about joining a ministry again but which one? I'll list all down first... Worship. Genesis. Ignyte Host. Celebration Host. Tech team. Prayer Task Force. Dance.
Worship's out cause I can't play drums. My singing is ... Let's just say that's not an option. =p Keyboard... Can't. Guitar. Uhhuh. Right. Not yet anyway. So ya... Might consider joining worship some time in the future but not anytime soon. Mhmm.
Genesis. Possible. Decoration. Graphic Design. Photography. Areas that I enjoy doing. So ya... But somehow, there's this hesitation.
Ignyte host. Talk to the first time visitors after service. 0.0 I'm not sure... Possible but it depends.
Celebration host. Nah... Somehow I don't think that's for me.
Tech team. I've not much interest in it honestly. So ya... Except maybe RGB?
Prayer Task Force. Possible. That's one option I'm seriously considering.
Dance. I've tried it and that's not really the area for me?
Hmm. I'm not going to jump into making a choice anytime soon. This is one area that I want a clear assurance from God before I make any decision.
Skipped FUEL and went to Great World City with my family and some of my mum's friends. Yeps. Hmm. Not much to blog about? Wait. I take that back. Lol. Mum was passing some photos around. I thought it was of the Chiangmai trip only then I saw this photo that had a lot of red and white... Anyone got it yet? Next hint. White skirt. Red jacket. There. Yeps. I can't believe I didn't see the photos before?! Oh well. Just looked through them. To you 3, I can spot all of you in various photos even though my uncle focused on me. Yeps. Rofl. I am amused. I am not going to show the photos to people unless you're like one of the selected few. Mhmm. Ohh! There's like the pictures of me in a dress. Once for elmi jie jie's engagement and once for a wedding. Lol.
I want to go Great World City again! There's this nice, big Christian bookshop which was closed by the time we finished dinner. >.< So couldn't walk around the shop. Bah. Then the kids went to the arcade so tagged along. Was helping my bro play those games and earn some tickets. Got permission to try out DDR. Bah. The machine was kind of sad? Yeps. Oh well. DDR's not enjoyable unless it's challenging. So ya. But nevermind. Don't intend to go to the arcade there. I rather walk around the place. Lots of nice shops. I think. Based on looking at the directory. Lol. Anyone up for joining me? Heehee. Actually, that question isn't a question. Those who I do go out with, be prepared for me pestering you all to go there. =p Yeps.
Came home and attempted homework. Note the use of the word "attempted"? Lol. Ended up staying up quite late but didn't really finish that much homework. Oh well. Heehee.
Hmm... I'll make it public on my blog so that I would have to be accountable. Intending to do a three-day liquid fast from tuesday to thursday. Would start it tomorrow but since lunch is taken up by physics make-up lesson, there's no point fasting. Let me make it clear first. I am not neglecting my health. I intend to eat during recess and at dinner. But I'm just not going to eat during lunch. Instead, I'll try to find someplace in school to be alone and just spend time in God's presence. There are some questions that I'm seeking answers to. And apart from that, I'm praying that God will intervene in various situations. My church's Easter event is coming up and I'm really hoping that various people can make it. Normally, that wouldn't be possible but then again, faith and hope has been what keeps me believing. No reason to stop, ya? There.
Time for dinner. Then back to work.
Haha. Anyway, shall do a quick recount of yesterday and today. Hmm. Didn't manage to do much homework yesterday. Oh well. Service was different. The various ministries set up booths and we were asked to walk around finding out more about the ministries and maybe even join one. Used to be in drama&dance but stopped going since late last year. I've been thinking about joining a ministry again but which one? I'll list all down first... Worship. Genesis. Ignyte Host. Celebration Host. Tech team. Prayer Task Force. Dance.
Worship's out cause I can't play drums. My singing is ... Let's just say that's not an option. =p Keyboard... Can't. Guitar. Uhhuh. Right. Not yet anyway. So ya... Might consider joining worship some time in the future but not anytime soon. Mhmm.
Genesis. Possible. Decoration. Graphic Design. Photography. Areas that I enjoy doing. So ya... But somehow, there's this hesitation.
Ignyte host. Talk to the first time visitors after service. 0.0 I'm not sure... Possible but it depends.
Celebration host. Nah... Somehow I don't think that's for me.
Tech team. I've not much interest in it honestly. So ya... Except maybe RGB?
Prayer Task Force. Possible. That's one option I'm seriously considering.
Dance. I've tried it and that's not really the area for me?
Hmm. I'm not going to jump into making a choice anytime soon. This is one area that I want a clear assurance from God before I make any decision.
Skipped FUEL and went to Great World City with my family and some of my mum's friends. Yeps. Hmm. Not much to blog about? Wait. I take that back. Lol. Mum was passing some photos around. I thought it was of the Chiangmai trip only then I saw this photo that had a lot of red and white... Anyone got it yet? Next hint. White skirt. Red jacket. There. Yeps. I can't believe I didn't see the photos before?! Oh well. Just looked through them. To you 3, I can spot all of you in various photos even though my uncle focused on me. Yeps. Rofl. I am amused. I am not going to show the photos to people unless you're like one of the selected few. Mhmm. Ohh! There's like the pictures of me in a dress. Once for elmi jie jie's engagement and once for a wedding. Lol.
I want to go Great World City again! There's this nice, big Christian bookshop which was closed by the time we finished dinner. >.< So couldn't walk around the shop. Bah. Then the kids went to the arcade so tagged along. Was helping my bro play those games and earn some tickets. Got permission to try out DDR. Bah. The machine was kind of sad? Yeps. Oh well. DDR's not enjoyable unless it's challenging. So ya. But nevermind. Don't intend to go to the arcade there. I rather walk around the place. Lots of nice shops. I think. Based on looking at the directory. Lol. Anyone up for joining me? Heehee. Actually, that question isn't a question. Those who I do go out with, be prepared for me pestering you all to go there. =p Yeps.
Came home and attempted homework. Note the use of the word "attempted"? Lol. Ended up staying up quite late but didn't really finish that much homework. Oh well. Heehee.
Hmm... I'll make it public on my blog so that I would have to be accountable. Intending to do a three-day liquid fast from tuesday to thursday. Would start it tomorrow but since lunch is taken up by physics make-up lesson, there's no point fasting. Let me make it clear first. I am not neglecting my health. I intend to eat during recess and at dinner. But I'm just not going to eat during lunch. Instead, I'll try to find someplace in school to be alone and just spend time in God's presence. There are some questions that I'm seeking answers to. And apart from that, I'm praying that God will intervene in various situations. My church's Easter event is coming up and I'm really hoping that various people can make it. Normally, that wouldn't be possible but then again, faith and hope has been what keeps me believing. No reason to stop, ya? There.
Time for dinner. Then back to work.
Friday, March 30, 2007
in need of rest
I think the lack of rest is affecting my tolerance level. Normally, I wouldn't be as irritated at things as I have been the past two days.
But ya, yesterday was a day I would gladly go without.
Let's see. Some people should know what I wasn't really looking forward to yesterday. Yeps. Then after that, it was so tired. Behaving like someone I'm not really drains me. I rarely, if never, behave like that. It's just not me. But I had to go ahead with it anyway. My fault. So ya... Was just sitting there and watching it rain. As much I wanted to go into the rain, that would attract way too much attention and I would have gotten "killed" by mei and nes. Sighs. But yes, was really, really drained.
During art, I was just focusing on making a prototype and tried not to think too much about stuff. I guess it was one of the few times that I didn't cringe at using a penknife? Disclaimer: I was cutting cardboard and tape with the penknife, nothing else. Yeps. So ya. Then chinese, followed by physics. Rushed home after physics for a massage session. =p Yeps, I'm getting spoilt.
Massage session. Oh well. My neck and shoulders were really aching so was in need of massage. Then my grandaunt was massaging my thigh and it was so painful! Ouch. Painful to the point that tears came to my eyes. She says it's cause I walk a lot. So I guess there's not much I can do about it? But ouch... That was painful. Shoulder area a bit more relaxed but still quite tense. Oh well. Better than nothing.
Today... Really sleepy. Throughout Journalism, I was so tempted to put my head down on the table and sleep. That bad. Mhmm. Guess I'll give Survivor a miss for this week. Not going to stay up... Shall clear some homework first before I sleep though. Yeps. That's all.
But ya, yesterday was a day I would gladly go without.
Let's see. Some people should know what I wasn't really looking forward to yesterday. Yeps. Then after that, it was so tired. Behaving like someone I'm not really drains me. I rarely, if never, behave like that. It's just not me. But I had to go ahead with it anyway. My fault. So ya... Was just sitting there and watching it rain. As much I wanted to go into the rain, that would attract way too much attention and I would have gotten "killed" by mei and nes. Sighs. But yes, was really, really drained.
During art, I was just focusing on making a prototype and tried not to think too much about stuff. I guess it was one of the few times that I didn't cringe at using a penknife? Disclaimer: I was cutting cardboard and tape with the penknife, nothing else. Yeps. So ya. Then chinese, followed by physics. Rushed home after physics for a massage session. =p Yeps, I'm getting spoilt.
Massage session. Oh well. My neck and shoulders were really aching so was in need of massage. Then my grandaunt was massaging my thigh and it was so painful! Ouch. Painful to the point that tears came to my eyes. She says it's cause I walk a lot. So I guess there's not much I can do about it? But ouch... That was painful. Shoulder area a bit more relaxed but still quite tense. Oh well. Better than nothing.
Today... Really sleepy. Throughout Journalism, I was so tempted to put my head down on the table and sleep. That bad. Mhmm. Guess I'll give Survivor a miss for this week. Not going to stay up... Shall clear some homework first before I sleep though. Yeps. That's all.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
looking forward (in a different way...)
Weird title, yes? But anyway, I realize that nowadays, I rarely look forward to stuff. Rather, I look forward to the end of stuff. Basically, I look forward to seeing the things I dislike doing over and done with. This week has been a classic example. First, there was the Talentsearch competition. I looked forward to it ending. So a weight was lifted off my shoulders yesterday. Then I was looking forward to the end of the school day today. Ya... I don't normally dislike thursday unlike mei but today was one day I just wanted to fast forward.
Mhmm. And while I should look forward to the weekend, I can't. Because of the homework that I'll have to do. Because this endless cycle of not enough sleep will continue. Whee. I really should stop blogging and go sleep. So goodnight. Shall end this entry here even though I want to rant even more...
On second thoughts, since sammi's sending me a file, I shall wait til the file's fully transferred before going off the computer. Bah. Forget it. The transfer was interrupted. Sighs. Goodnight. I don't need sleep, I need rest.
Mhmm. And while I should look forward to the weekend, I can't. Because of the homework that I'll have to do. Because this endless cycle of not enough sleep will continue. Whee. I really should stop blogging and go sleep. So goodnight. Shall end this entry here even though I want to rant even more...
On second thoughts, since sammi's sending me a file, I shall wait til the file's fully transferred before going off the computer. Bah. Forget it. The transfer was interrupted. Sighs. Goodnight. I don't need sleep, I need rest.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
irrational.
Honestly, today could have gone way better. Went to school early to practice the piece for Talentsearch. I need more sleep. Yes, I'm still not sleeping early. How can I? There are things that need to be done. This is the price I pay when I don't manage my time well and yet still expect a certain level from myself. Whee.
Overall, the mood of today was rather subdued? Not that noticeable but still... Let's see. House meeting was ok? Haha. Yes mei, I know it's unfair. Oh well. You're pro. =) Then ACE was enjoyable. I want to watch the rest of "October Sky". =) Physics lab was ... as per normal? Except that I really should control myself more. The restraint that I usually show slipped away a bit. That's not good. Sorry. This restraint isn't referring to moodiness or emo-ness by the way. Yeps.
Project work has always been rather enjoyable. At least me and mei are actually learning stuff? =) Yeps. Never thought we'll do a Chemistry project actually. Time to start thinking of how to extend the project for the rest of this year. It's fun playing with fire. Haha. I mean that literally by the way. Observed a methanol flame today. Yeps.
After IR, things started going a bit downhill? Ouch. It was irritating trying to staple the letters to the Journalism board. Because I have to look up and my neck started aching after awhile? Then it was raining. And ya, mei didn't let me go out into the rain. =p Heehee. But I was guai, ok? When walking to the piano to practice even more, I avoided walking out in the open. It was highly tempting though. =p
Then realized I had to play on the keyboard for Talentsearch so took awhile to get used to the keys. Actual auditions itself was just sad. I was really nervous and messed up in the 2nd bar already. So naturally, I got very nervous and made even more mistakes and the cycle continues. Oh well. It's over. Time to move on. That's what I tell others so I should listen to that advice myself.
While sitting in the auditorium and listening to the other groups perform, I was hit by a wave of emotions. Really unexpected. My mind just linked the playing of the various rock groups to last year's Teacher's Day performance. Ouch. That wasn't needed. And in fact, I also thought about Charity Concert. Weird, right? Talentsearch has no link with Teacher's Day and Charity concert but it could still trigger off memories. >.< I am irritated at the way my head works.
Anyway, it was just weird after auditions. Lol. The only girl in the group? And a certain someone was bullying me. -pointed look- Oh well.
On the bright side, got to eat nice chocolate marshmallow cake today! =) And with that, I shall end this entry. On a high note! =) -attempts to hit a high note- Rofl.
Overall, the mood of today was rather subdued? Not that noticeable but still... Let's see. House meeting was ok? Haha. Yes mei, I know it's unfair. Oh well. You're pro. =) Then ACE was enjoyable. I want to watch the rest of "October Sky". =) Physics lab was ... as per normal? Except that I really should control myself more. The restraint that I usually show slipped away a bit. That's not good. Sorry. This restraint isn't referring to moodiness or emo-ness by the way. Yeps.
Project work has always been rather enjoyable. At least me and mei are actually learning stuff? =) Yeps. Never thought we'll do a Chemistry project actually. Time to start thinking of how to extend the project for the rest of this year. It's fun playing with fire. Haha. I mean that literally by the way. Observed a methanol flame today. Yeps.
After IR, things started going a bit downhill? Ouch. It was irritating trying to staple the letters to the Journalism board. Because I have to look up and my neck started aching after awhile? Then it was raining. And ya, mei didn't let me go out into the rain. =p Heehee. But I was guai, ok? When walking to the piano to practice even more, I avoided walking out in the open. It was highly tempting though. =p
Then realized I had to play on the keyboard for Talentsearch so took awhile to get used to the keys. Actual auditions itself was just sad. I was really nervous and messed up in the 2nd bar already. So naturally, I got very nervous and made even more mistakes and the cycle continues. Oh well. It's over. Time to move on. That's what I tell others so I should listen to that advice myself.
While sitting in the auditorium and listening to the other groups perform, I was hit by a wave of emotions. Really unexpected. My mind just linked the playing of the various rock groups to last year's Teacher's Day performance. Ouch. That wasn't needed. And in fact, I also thought about Charity Concert. Weird, right? Talentsearch has no link with Teacher's Day and Charity concert but it could still trigger off memories. >.< I am irritated at the way my head works.
Anyway, it was just weird after auditions. Lol. The only girl in the group? And a certain someone was bullying me. -pointed look- Oh well.
On the bright side, got to eat nice chocolate marshmallow cake today! =) And with that, I shall end this entry. On a high note! =) -attempts to hit a high note- Rofl.
Monday, March 26, 2007
why mondays?
I should get worried if this continues... 1st day of school, I overslept and only woke up at around 7:50. Then today, I woke up at 6:50. The part that scares me is how often this has happened... It's just the 2nd week of Term 2. And the fact that I can't hear all 3 of my alarms is just alarming. Lol. The use of the word was not deliberate. Lol. But ya, my handphone, watch and clock didn't wake me up! Urk. That just proves that either I'm a heavy sleeper or I lack sleep.
Oh well. I'm aiming to be asleep by latest 11:30 tonight. Yeps. When that is considered earlier than average, that means I really should get back to my old ways of sleeping early. But easier said than done?
Yes, one might ask why I blog even though I can go sleep instead. Because it's become a habit. Because it's quite a good way of organizing my thoughts and help me settle down.
Hmm... How was today? Alright, I guess. Expected to get 3 test results back but ended up not receiving a single paper back. Went ACM after school to view the "Mystery Men" exhibition... Erm. I guess it didn't really help that the tour was done in Chinese? I tried paying attention.. Lol. A few PRCs asked me once in awhile whether I understood what the tour guide was saying. Haha. That was amusing and rather considerate?
After the exhibition, walked with mei and nes to Raffles Exchange and spent quite awhile at Mount Zion, the bookshop. Whee! I want to spend money! Shall save up again and go spoil myself. Cass joined us. =) Then after that, had sugar rolls and was made to eat the last one. Yes yes, I know I need to gain weight. =p Decided to grab a bit more food with cass and went to Burger King. Mhmm. Talked quite a bit about various stuff... I wonder why I'm still so positive? Someone please tell me why? This kind of faith and hope isn't rational. I've no idea what keeps me believing but I'll still continue. Yeps. It was nice talking to cassie mei... Yeps. I'm not that surprised about how we seem to be on rather good talking terms. I kind of expected it? Considering situations and all... It was just a matter of time?
Anyway, I guess I'll end off this entry by addressing the same issue yet again. I've addressed it briefly in the previous paragraph but I'll touch on it a bit more. Yeps. Hmm. Maybe I'm biased? Maybe I'm too hopeful? But no matter what happens, I'll still believe that things can get better. I do believe in giving people second chances. And I won't stop at just giving second chances. Yeps.
Think I should go sleep soon. Lots of things that I need to do over the next few days. And oh, I will take care of myself, ok? Yeps. Not just minimal care. Proper care. Mhmm. This is directed to someone who complained that I wasn't really taking care. Yeps. Bye! Goodnight! =)
Oh well. I'm aiming to be asleep by latest 11:30 tonight. Yeps. When that is considered earlier than average, that means I really should get back to my old ways of sleeping early. But easier said than done?
Yes, one might ask why I blog even though I can go sleep instead. Because it's become a habit. Because it's quite a good way of organizing my thoughts and help me settle down.
Hmm... How was today? Alright, I guess. Expected to get 3 test results back but ended up not receiving a single paper back. Went ACM after school to view the "Mystery Men" exhibition... Erm. I guess it didn't really help that the tour was done in Chinese? I tried paying attention.. Lol. A few PRCs asked me once in awhile whether I understood what the tour guide was saying. Haha. That was amusing and rather considerate?
After the exhibition, walked with mei and nes to Raffles Exchange and spent quite awhile at Mount Zion, the bookshop. Whee! I want to spend money! Shall save up again and go spoil myself. Cass joined us. =) Then after that, had sugar rolls and was made to eat the last one. Yes yes, I know I need to gain weight. =p Decided to grab a bit more food with cass and went to Burger King. Mhmm. Talked quite a bit about various stuff... I wonder why I'm still so positive? Someone please tell me why? This kind of faith and hope isn't rational. I've no idea what keeps me believing but I'll still continue. Yeps. It was nice talking to cassie mei... Yeps. I'm not that surprised about how we seem to be on rather good talking terms. I kind of expected it? Considering situations and all... It was just a matter of time?
Anyway, I guess I'll end off this entry by addressing the same issue yet again. I've addressed it briefly in the previous paragraph but I'll touch on it a bit more. Yeps. Hmm. Maybe I'm biased? Maybe I'm too hopeful? But no matter what happens, I'll still believe that things can get better. I do believe in giving people second chances. And I won't stop at just giving second chances. Yeps.
Think I should go sleep soon. Lots of things that I need to do over the next few days. And oh, I will take care of myself, ok? Yeps. Not just minimal care. Proper care. Mhmm. This is directed to someone who complained that I wasn't really taking care. Yeps. Bye! Goodnight! =)
Sunday, March 25, 2007
catching up
Hmm. Considered recounting the whole of yesterday but I think I'll just focus on the later part of the day.
Met up with sammi yesterday night at Holland after Games day. Mhmm. Ended up going to Breko's. Haha. I wonder who suggested that place... 0=) Mhmm. Ordered my usual: potato salad. Lol. And a quicksand twister... Yummy.
Food aside... It was really enjoyable catching up with sammi. =) Thanks babe! =) It never fails to surprise me how our friendship has lasted all these years... Yeps. And it was refreshing to have someone who understands me and my heart so well. Yeps. Lol. Talked about quite a few things... Ranted quite a bit. Not the usual topics that I rant about to others. Yeps. Surprise surprise. Yay! New songs in my MP3 player! =) Went high over the songs when sammi first let me hear them. Went Starbucks after that and continued talking til it was time to rush home. Yeps.
Hmm. I'm still amused by that one question sammi asked. First person to ask the question. Is it because the rest already assume they know the answer? Haha. Yes, sammi. I know that answer's rather dumb and senseless but hey, I think you're pretty used to that? =p Haha. You're one of the few who can get away with criticizing me openly. Enjoy that privilege. Lol. And how do you put up with me? Lol. Since I'm too nice and all. Lol... Yes yes, I know I'm too nice. But can't really help it? Don't really know how to not be nice?
Oh. And one more thing I realized when talking to her. I do get irritated at people and all. But I just keep it within me and after awhile, it gets forgotten. Most of the time. Yeps. Haha. Then again, with sammi around, any negative mood of mine can't last for long. She's too amusing. Yeps.
Thanks sammi for yesterday! Let's try to make it twice a month or something, ok? =) Haha. Yeps.
Met up with sammi yesterday night at Holland after Games day. Mhmm. Ended up going to Breko's. Haha. I wonder who suggested that place... 0=) Mhmm. Ordered my usual: potato salad. Lol. And a quicksand twister... Yummy.
Food aside... It was really enjoyable catching up with sammi. =) Thanks babe! =) It never fails to surprise me how our friendship has lasted all these years... Yeps. And it was refreshing to have someone who understands me and my heart so well. Yeps. Lol. Talked about quite a few things... Ranted quite a bit. Not the usual topics that I rant about to others. Yeps. Surprise surprise. Yay! New songs in my MP3 player! =) Went high over the songs when sammi first let me hear them. Went Starbucks after that and continued talking til it was time to rush home. Yeps.
Hmm. I'm still amused by that one question sammi asked. First person to ask the question. Is it because the rest already assume they know the answer? Haha. Yes, sammi. I know that answer's rather dumb and senseless but hey, I think you're pretty used to that? =p Haha. You're one of the few who can get away with criticizing me openly. Enjoy that privilege. Lol. And how do you put up with me? Lol. Since I'm too nice and all. Lol... Yes yes, I know I'm too nice. But can't really help it? Don't really know how to not be nice?
Oh. And one more thing I realized when talking to her. I do get irritated at people and all. But I just keep it within me and after awhile, it gets forgotten. Most of the time. Yeps. Haha. Then again, with sammi around, any negative mood of mine can't last for long. She's too amusing. Yeps.
Thanks sammi for yesterday! Let's try to make it twice a month or something, ok? =) Haha. Yeps.
oceans apart
Hmm... Think I'm in a suitable mood and frame of mind to blog about this book. =) Yeps, the title of this entry is the title of the book. "Oceans Apart" by Karen Kingsbury. One of the books I randomly pull out and end up liking it a lot, just like Richard Paul Evans's books. It does help that she's a Christian author. Mhmm. Ok. Shall blog about the book first and the whole experience of reading it before I continue gushing about Karen Kingsbury's books! =p
Just the first few chapters alone made me think of stuff. Especially the main character's issue with his father. Reminded me of my life. Ya... I always ask myself this question. Will I regret my actions the day that he's no longer alive? If yes, then why do I still persist in being like this? I guess it's something to do with pride. And because I believe that my actions are justified... Yet, there's this part of my conscience that reminds me that he's still my father no matter what he does or does not do.
Love is what happens when people forgive.
This line keeps popping up throughout the book and it's this lesson that a lot of the characters in the book have to learn. Hmm... Let's see. I was reading this book alone in the library and it was actually quite good for just reflective and thinking. Even though it's a public place and all, I was alone in the corner so yeps. Ouch.. Forgiveness has always been something I don't really struggle with apart from that one issue of my dad. But as I was reading, it just hit me how in a way, I was having this bitterness and unforgiveness towards someone else as well. The most unlikely person. It was subtle. But that explains a lot of things from last term. Yeps.
It comes from a part called 1 John, and it says, "As Jesus laid his life down for us, so we must lay our lives down for other people. Anything else is not realy love. Not love for God and not love for people."
To lay down my life for everyone... Am I able to do that? I think I can do that for those I care about. But there's this fear that one day, I'll be hurt til the point when I lose hope, lose my trust... I was so close to that the past week. There are times when there aren't people around for you to lean on and you wonder what's the point of caring so much. Then afterwards, you realize why. Because even if they're not there, they do still care. Right? By the way, the exact Bible reference is 1 John 3:16-17. The lines from the book are rather different. But the main idea's really the same so ya...
There it was; the simple childlike love that had open arms no matter the situation.
This is what I hold on to desperately. I found it and regained it last year... At least, it was more obvious in every moment of my life compared to lower secondary years. But then at the start of this year... I sank back into that state. Sighs. It's been hard pulling myself out of it. But I guess I want back the childlike part of me really badly so it helps? Why do I still trust? Why do I still care? No matter what... Yeps. I guess it's this part of me that I don't want to lose. It's easy to lose it. It's hard to gain it back. So I won't let go of it. Mhmm.
As Karen Kingsbury's a Christian, she also showed the various character's relationships with God. Max, the child who's so faithful. He puts aside time every day to pray, read his Bible. I admire Max. But that's not really what spoke to me the most? Rather. Lines such as "My ways are not your ways..." and "Be still, and know that I am God." Isaiah 55:8-9 and Psalms 46:10 respectively. Mhmm...
My heart felt lighter and I realized that my smiles were a lot more genuine after I read the book and really understood it. It still amazes me how fiction books can speak to my heart so much... Yeps.
Anyway, I'm really interested in this author and want to read the rest of her books. Turns out she has a total of 5 series and 8 stand-alone books... Whoa. More than enough books for me to read. But first, have to find them. =p Yeps.
Just the first few chapters alone made me think of stuff. Especially the main character's issue with his father. Reminded me of my life. Ya... I always ask myself this question. Will I regret my actions the day that he's no longer alive? If yes, then why do I still persist in being like this? I guess it's something to do with pride. And because I believe that my actions are justified... Yet, there's this part of my conscience that reminds me that he's still my father no matter what he does or does not do.
Love is what happens when people forgive.
This line keeps popping up throughout the book and it's this lesson that a lot of the characters in the book have to learn. Hmm... Let's see. I was reading this book alone in the library and it was actually quite good for just reflective and thinking. Even though it's a public place and all, I was alone in the corner so yeps. Ouch.. Forgiveness has always been something I don't really struggle with apart from that one issue of my dad. But as I was reading, it just hit me how in a way, I was having this bitterness and unforgiveness towards someone else as well. The most unlikely person. It was subtle. But that explains a lot of things from last term. Yeps.
It comes from a part called 1 John, and it says, "As Jesus laid his life down for us, so we must lay our lives down for other people. Anything else is not realy love. Not love for God and not love for people."
To lay down my life for everyone... Am I able to do that? I think I can do that for those I care about. But there's this fear that one day, I'll be hurt til the point when I lose hope, lose my trust... I was so close to that the past week. There are times when there aren't people around for you to lean on and you wonder what's the point of caring so much. Then afterwards, you realize why. Because even if they're not there, they do still care. Right? By the way, the exact Bible reference is 1 John 3:16-17. The lines from the book are rather different. But the main idea's really the same so ya...
There it was; the simple childlike love that had open arms no matter the situation.
This is what I hold on to desperately. I found it and regained it last year... At least, it was more obvious in every moment of my life compared to lower secondary years. But then at the start of this year... I sank back into that state. Sighs. It's been hard pulling myself out of it. But I guess I want back the childlike part of me really badly so it helps? Why do I still trust? Why do I still care? No matter what... Yeps. I guess it's this part of me that I don't want to lose. It's easy to lose it. It's hard to gain it back. So I won't let go of it. Mhmm.
As Karen Kingsbury's a Christian, she also showed the various character's relationships with God. Max, the child who's so faithful. He puts aside time every day to pray, read his Bible. I admire Max. But that's not really what spoke to me the most? Rather. Lines such as "My ways are not your ways..." and "Be still, and know that I am God." Isaiah 55:8-9 and Psalms 46:10 respectively. Mhmm...
My heart felt lighter and I realized that my smiles were a lot more genuine after I read the book and really understood it. It still amazes me how fiction books can speak to my heart so much... Yeps.
Anyway, I'm really interested in this author and want to read the rest of her books. Turns out she has a total of 5 series and 8 stand-alone books... Whoa. More than enough books for me to read. But first, have to find them. =p Yeps.
Friday, March 23, 2007
spoiling myself
Heehee. I should stop spoiling myself. But ya, I guess I've let myself rest more this week compared to the usual? Let's see. Went West Mall alone on Wednesday after CCA and then today, went Jurong East central.
A quick recount of Wednesday. Didn't blog about it previously cos wasn't in the right mood so ya... But anyway, bought the soundtrack of "Music & Lyrics" even though I haven't watched it. Lol. And was walking around looking at the various stores and gushed a bit? Heehee. It's quite easy to buy presents for me really. I'm easily contented. Yeps. But yes, was gushing at various stuff. Mhmm. Went to the library at West Mall. Borrowed a book by this new author. Whee! The book's nice. Finished reading it already. "Oceans Apart" by Karen Kingsbury. Shall blog about it later or something.
Then today. Cancelled CF since half of them couldn't attend. So was free this afternoon. Rather unexpected. Was trying to decide how to make the most of the time... Wanted to go out/do something instead of going home. Considered watching "Music & Lyrics" but since it wasn't showing at Jurong, I gave up on that idea. Ended up going to the library and just reading there. It's been a while since I just sat down and read at the library. Yeps. Read finished "Oceans Apart". Found a few more books to borrow. I've run out of books by my usual authors. Time to reserve books so that I can start on one of Richard Paul Evan's series. Yeps. Then went Prima Deli and bought a waffle. Was eyeing bags.. =p Considered being vain and taking neoprints by myself but decided it was a waste of money to take by myself. So ended up buying 100g of those sour plums. Then went popular and bought 4 more packs of star-folding paper. =) Heehee. Started mei on folding stars during lessons and all so ya... Oops? We've done how many hundred stars in less than a week? =) Anyway, loooked in CD-Rama for the "Happy Feet" soundtrack. There was only one copy left, which I bought. =) Yeps. 2 CD in one week. That's a record? Or is it? Dunno. Last time, all the mass CD-buying was divided between the 4 of us so don't know how to count those. =p Yeps.
Went back home and just laid on my bed, reading, listening to my MP3 player and snacked on the pack of sour plums. Heehee. Finished the whole pack within the hour. Oops? Yeps. But anyway, I guess I'm letting myself take more breaks nowadays? I know I definitely need it. In fact, the time alone at the library was much needed. Probably due to how I was just thinking about stuff while reading "Oceans Apart". But that's another entry... =p
A quick recount of Wednesday. Didn't blog about it previously cos wasn't in the right mood so ya... But anyway, bought the soundtrack of "Music & Lyrics" even though I haven't watched it. Lol. And was walking around looking at the various stores and gushed a bit? Heehee. It's quite easy to buy presents for me really. I'm easily contented. Yeps. But yes, was gushing at various stuff. Mhmm. Went to the library at West Mall. Borrowed a book by this new author. Whee! The book's nice. Finished reading it already. "Oceans Apart" by Karen Kingsbury. Shall blog about it later or something.
Then today. Cancelled CF since half of them couldn't attend. So was free this afternoon. Rather unexpected. Was trying to decide how to make the most of the time... Wanted to go out/do something instead of going home. Considered watching "Music & Lyrics" but since it wasn't showing at Jurong, I gave up on that idea. Ended up going to the library and just reading there. It's been a while since I just sat down and read at the library. Yeps. Read finished "Oceans Apart". Found a few more books to borrow. I've run out of books by my usual authors. Time to reserve books so that I can start on one of Richard Paul Evan's series. Yeps. Then went Prima Deli and bought a waffle. Was eyeing bags.. =p Considered being vain and taking neoprints by myself but decided it was a waste of money to take by myself. So ended up buying 100g of those sour plums. Then went popular and bought 4 more packs of star-folding paper. =) Heehee. Started mei on folding stars during lessons and all so ya... Oops? We've done how many hundred stars in less than a week? =) Anyway, loooked in CD-Rama for the "Happy Feet" soundtrack. There was only one copy left, which I bought. =) Yeps. 2 CD in one week. That's a record? Or is it? Dunno. Last time, all the mass CD-buying was divided between the 4 of us so don't know how to count those. =p Yeps.
Went back home and just laid on my bed, reading, listening to my MP3 player and snacked on the pack of sour plums. Heehee. Finished the whole pack within the hour. Oops? Yeps. But anyway, I guess I'm letting myself take more breaks nowadays? I know I definitely need it. In fact, the time alone at the library was much needed. Probably due to how I was just thinking about stuff while reading "Oceans Apart". But that's another entry... =p
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
irritation
Oh great. I meant to have a high and hyper entry on what I did after school but then again, I'm me. My mood can be affected really easily...
As my title says, irritation. Why do I rarely get irritated at people? Majority of the time, I get irritated at myself or at situations. Now, it's a bit of both.
I know I need to finish up Physics essay or at least get most of it done by tonight as there's SL rehearsal tomorrow... And I only found out about it today. Whee. >.< It's my grandma's birthday celebration tomorrow. Dinner. By the time the rehearsals end, it's going to be a mad rush to reach her house and take part in the celebrations. Yeps.
Then now, I need to finish Physics but of all times to lose focus, it has to be now. Actually, I didn't lose my focus. I didn't have it to start with. Yeps. I'm tired and I need to rest. I can't wait for this school week to be over. Then hopefully, I can rest a bit over the weekends then it'll be back to school... But less work. I just need to clear Physics... That's the last piece of work. Yeps.
I apologize for this rant. Then again, it's not an emo entry so that's good, right? Just me in one of my agitated states and actually showing it. Yeps. Rare. But it does happen. Could someone give me a punching bag? Or even DDR would be good now. Can vent my frustrations by forcing myself to dance some really fast songs. Mhmm.
Bah! Ok. At least I'm not typing in all caps. Now that's just going to be surprising. Mhmm.
As my title says, irritation. Why do I rarely get irritated at people? Majority of the time, I get irritated at myself or at situations. Now, it's a bit of both.
I know I need to finish up Physics essay or at least get most of it done by tonight as there's SL rehearsal tomorrow... And I only found out about it today. Whee. >.< It's my grandma's birthday celebration tomorrow. Dinner. By the time the rehearsals end, it's going to be a mad rush to reach her house and take part in the celebrations. Yeps.
Then now, I need to finish Physics but of all times to lose focus, it has to be now. Actually, I didn't lose my focus. I didn't have it to start with. Yeps. I'm tired and I need to rest. I can't wait for this school week to be over. Then hopefully, I can rest a bit over the weekends then it'll be back to school... But less work. I just need to clear Physics... That's the last piece of work. Yeps.
I apologize for this rant. Then again, it's not an emo entry so that's good, right? Just me in one of my agitated states and actually showing it. Yeps. Rare. But it does happen. Could someone give me a punching bag? Or even DDR would be good now. Can vent my frustrations by forcing myself to dance some really fast songs. Mhmm.
Bah! Ok. At least I'm not typing in all caps. Now that's just going to be surprising. Mhmm.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
5 questions
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions to be a little more intimate insane!
3. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, ask them five questions.
Lol... I asked renee to interview me. And some of her questions were... Oh well. Some of them, I won't post on any of my public blogs so I'm going to be selective and choose which questions and answers to show everyone else.
Qn)If you had to throw all your soft toys away except one, what would that one be?
Yikes! I hate this question. It’s like between moo, panda and big doggie. Ok. It’s harder to decide between moo and panda. Yeps. Due to sentimental reasons, I’ll pick moo. But panda’s definitely more huggable. Sighs…
Qn)If tomorrow were your last day on earth, what would you do?
What would I do? Hmm… Write a will. Lol. There are some things that should go to some people. Yeps. But apart from that, I would ask all my friends out. Yeps, make them ‘pon’ school. =) Oops? But I would go out with each group separately. Make sure I say everything I want to say to those I care about (alternatively, write letters) But I prefer meeting up with everyone face to face. That’s it. Basically, just spend time with friends and family and say my last words to them.
Qn)Which fictional character would you want to be, and why?
Honestly, I’m happy being me. But if I had to choose… The first person that came to mind was Jaime from "A walk to remember"... Interesting choice, ya? Why? I guess I admire her and I'm pretty envious of her life. To be able to stand for what she believed in despite of peer pressure. And she was able to find someone who loved her so much... Even though she ended up dying from leukemia, I guess one of the best ways to die is to die with the knowledge that you're loved by someone and that the person would never forget you.
Mhmm... There. It was pretty enjoyable and yet, a torment to answer the questions... Yeps.
2. I'll respond by asking you five questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions to be a little more intimate insane!
3. Update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. Include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, ask them five questions.
Lol... I asked renee to interview me. And some of her questions were... Oh well. Some of them, I won't post on any of my public blogs so I'm going to be selective and choose which questions and answers to show everyone else.
Qn)If you had to throw all your soft toys away except one, what would that one be?
Yikes! I hate this question. It’s like between moo, panda and big doggie. Ok. It’s harder to decide between moo and panda. Yeps. Due to sentimental reasons, I’ll pick moo. But panda’s definitely more huggable. Sighs…
Qn)If tomorrow were your last day on earth, what would you do?
What would I do? Hmm… Write a will. Lol. There are some things that should go to some people. Yeps. But apart from that, I would ask all my friends out. Yeps, make them ‘pon’ school. =) Oops? But I would go out with each group separately. Make sure I say everything I want to say to those I care about (alternatively, write letters) But I prefer meeting up with everyone face to face. That’s it. Basically, just spend time with friends and family and say my last words to them.
Qn)Which fictional character would you want to be, and why?
Honestly, I’m happy being me. But if I had to choose… The first person that came to mind was Jaime from "A walk to remember"... Interesting choice, ya? Why? I guess I admire her and I'm pretty envious of her life. To be able to stand for what she believed in despite of peer pressure. And she was able to find someone who loved her so much... Even though she ended up dying from leukemia, I guess one of the best ways to die is to die with the knowledge that you're loved by someone and that the person would never forget you.
Mhmm... There. It was pretty enjoyable and yet, a torment to answer the questions... Yeps.
Monday, March 19, 2007
eventful day
Heehee. What a way to start off Term 2. =p
Let's see. I started off the day by oversleeping. Only woke up at 7:47 (handphone time) and had to ask my dad to send me to school. The rest of the day went by as usual though. Yeps. Apart from me starting a star-folding trend in class. 0=)
Oh yes! There was an incident at the end of the school day which made my heart beat a lot faster. Walking down the stairs with mei, I lost my footing and tripped. I almost fell down the flight of stairs. But somehow, my reflexes kicked in fast enough and I ended up doing some really weird footwork down the next few steps. The sequence of events go something like this. Trip, tries to regain balance and somehow manage to walk down the next few stairs really quickly. Had a minor fear of walking down all the way to the first floor after that. =p And even a few minutes after that, my heartbeat was still rather fast and I trembled a bit when I sat down. Oh well. Heehee. The only good thing out of this whole incident is that I know I actually have decent reflexes if the need arises. =p
Ohh. Then went home and had a nice 2 hour long massage session by my grandauntie. Yeps. My shoulder and back have been aching and really tensed so ya... Requested for the massage session. Ouch. When she massaged my shoulder, it hurt a lot. Very, very tense. But it's slightly better now. Whew... =)
Ok. Enough blogging. Time to finish up homework and sleep early tonight. I don't need to oversleep again tomorrow. =p
Let's see. I started off the day by oversleeping. Only woke up at 7:47 (handphone time) and had to ask my dad to send me to school. The rest of the day went by as usual though. Yeps. Apart from me starting a star-folding trend in class. 0=)
Oh yes! There was an incident at the end of the school day which made my heart beat a lot faster. Walking down the stairs with mei, I lost my footing and tripped. I almost fell down the flight of stairs. But somehow, my reflexes kicked in fast enough and I ended up doing some really weird footwork down the next few steps. The sequence of events go something like this. Trip, tries to regain balance and somehow manage to walk down the next few stairs really quickly. Had a minor fear of walking down all the way to the first floor after that. =p And even a few minutes after that, my heartbeat was still rather fast and I trembled a bit when I sat down. Oh well. Heehee. The only good thing out of this whole incident is that I know I actually have decent reflexes if the need arises. =p
Ohh. Then went home and had a nice 2 hour long massage session by my grandauntie. Yeps. My shoulder and back have been aching and really tensed so ya... Requested for the massage session. Ouch. When she massaged my shoulder, it hurt a lot. Very, very tense. But it's slightly better now. Whew... =)
Ok. Enough blogging. Time to finish up homework and sleep early tonight. I don't need to oversleep again tomorrow. =p
Sunday, March 18, 2007
abnormal behaviour
Heehee. I should stop doing things like that. As my title says, abnormal behaviour. Start off with this morning... Only slept slightly after 3:18 Yeps. Then woke up half an hour after noon. Heehee. It's like the 2nd time I've slept at such an early/late time. I think I'm really becoming nocturnal.
The other instances of abnormal behaviour is when I went really hyper and hysterical over the phone with mei. Once in the afternoon and once just now. Heehee. Why does it fall under abnormal? Cause I haven't been so crazily high for a long, long time. Hey, that makes me sound so old.. =p Ok. You can tell the highness still lingers. Heehee. Excessive use of "Heehee".. Tsk myself. Anw, in the afternooon, I was just going a bit high about cute orisinal games. Especially the one with the doggies! So cute! Then also, the one when you can actually catch a shooting star! Lol. So yeps. There I was intro-ing the games to mei when I was supposed to do English essay... So I tsked myself over the phone a few times.
Then the phone just now was very crazy. I went very hyper and hysterical and laughed til tears came to my eyes. Then mei said that it's good to end the phone call on a high note so I made her sing a high note after saying bye. Rofl. I refused to put down the phone til she did that. Lol. I'm still laughing at the memory of that. Heehee. Time to try to calm down... Except that I don't think that's possible? A bit too awake. Oops? Heehee. -bounces around-
The other instances of abnormal behaviour is when I went really hyper and hysterical over the phone with mei. Once in the afternoon and once just now. Heehee. Why does it fall under abnormal? Cause I haven't been so crazily high for a long, long time. Hey, that makes me sound so old.. =p Ok. You can tell the highness still lingers. Heehee. Excessive use of "Heehee".. Tsk myself. Anw, in the afternooon, I was just going a bit high about cute orisinal games. Especially the one with the doggies! So cute! Then also, the one when you can actually catch a shooting star! Lol. So yeps. There I was intro-ing the games to mei when I was supposed to do English essay... So I tsked myself over the phone a few times.
Then the phone just now was very crazy. I went very hyper and hysterical and laughed til tears came to my eyes. Then mei said that it's good to end the phone call on a high note so I made her sing a high note after saying bye. Rofl. I refused to put down the phone til she did that. Lol. I'm still laughing at the memory of that. Heehee. Time to try to calm down... Except that I don't think that's possible? A bit too awake. Oops? Heehee. -bounces around-
surrendering my wants
It still surprises me how easily tears come to my eyes...
Just looking at the church bulletin for this week and seeing the advertising for "Timeless" on the front page, something stirred inside me. I want to see a certain person come for the event. Yeps. Anyway, fast forward to worship... The lyrics of this song really touched me. "Throne of Praise". The first few lines go like this:
As long as I have breath, I'll find a way to say
That I love you
Everything may change and the world may pass away
I'll still love you
Touching, isn't it? Hmm... Think about the lyrics. And you'll understand why I really like them a lot.
Last thing I want to blog about... The title of my blog entry. Earlier on, I blogged about wanting to see someone come to church. No, God didn't asked me to surrender that particular want. Rather, I've been wanting to stay in my comfort zone and in the later part of Term 1, I became so used to just staying within my comfort zone. I lost the courage to step out of it. I lost the initiative to reach out. For that, I'm sorry. God's been challenging me to not care about what others think, to fulfil His purpose. He has shown me the end result. He's given me a promise to hold on to. But now, it's the process that I've been resisting. I can't wait to see what He has promised becoming a reality. But for that to take place, I have to step out of my comfort zone. I stepped out of it before. But then after various incidents, I retreated back into my comfort zone once more. Even though the end result may seem almost impossible and at times, I do hesitate but I'm growing in my faith. That's the only way I can step out of my comfort zone. By believing in faith.
Another want that I was struggling with again today... I already blogged about how I'm considering not dropping physics at the end of the year. Today at the altar, I was just asking God to help me surrender my wants, my desires to Him. Art's been something that I hold close to my heart. One of my few regrets in life was stopping art lessons. So I really wanted to major in Art. At the end of Sec 2, during youth camp, God had asked me whether I would not take Art if He asked me to. At that time, it was more like a food for thought. The purpose of that question was to prove to me that there were things I held close to even though I thought otherwise. But now, I get this feeling that this round, it's not just simply a question. If I drop Art and take physics, I'm surrendering my dreams as well... By taking physics, it kind of means that I am willing to give up my dream job. I'm still seeking God as to what are the plans He has for me. I need Him to guide me. Especially for my subject combination for the next two years. It's a bit early to think about it but there's this urgency in me to find out the answer.
Yes, I do have homework to do but I think that this overrides homework cause I'm not just blogging... It's more than that. Yeps.
Just looking at the church bulletin for this week and seeing the advertising for "Timeless" on the front page, something stirred inside me. I want to see a certain person come for the event. Yeps. Anyway, fast forward to worship... The lyrics of this song really touched me. "Throne of Praise". The first few lines go like this:
As long as I have breath, I'll find a way to say
That I love you
Everything may change and the world may pass away
I'll still love you
Touching, isn't it? Hmm... Think about the lyrics. And you'll understand why I really like them a lot.
Last thing I want to blog about... The title of my blog entry. Earlier on, I blogged about wanting to see someone come to church. No, God didn't asked me to surrender that particular want. Rather, I've been wanting to stay in my comfort zone and in the later part of Term 1, I became so used to just staying within my comfort zone. I lost the courage to step out of it. I lost the initiative to reach out. For that, I'm sorry. God's been challenging me to not care about what others think, to fulfil His purpose. He has shown me the end result. He's given me a promise to hold on to. But now, it's the process that I've been resisting. I can't wait to see what He has promised becoming a reality. But for that to take place, I have to step out of my comfort zone. I stepped out of it before. But then after various incidents, I retreated back into my comfort zone once more. Even though the end result may seem almost impossible and at times, I do hesitate but I'm growing in my faith. That's the only way I can step out of my comfort zone. By believing in faith.
Another want that I was struggling with again today... I already blogged about how I'm considering not dropping physics at the end of the year. Today at the altar, I was just asking God to help me surrender my wants, my desires to Him. Art's been something that I hold close to my heart. One of my few regrets in life was stopping art lessons. So I really wanted to major in Art. At the end of Sec 2, during youth camp, God had asked me whether I would not take Art if He asked me to. At that time, it was more like a food for thought. The purpose of that question was to prove to me that there were things I held close to even though I thought otherwise. But now, I get this feeling that this round, it's not just simply a question. If I drop Art and take physics, I'm surrendering my dreams as well... By taking physics, it kind of means that I am willing to give up my dream job. I'm still seeking God as to what are the plans He has for me. I need Him to guide me. Especially for my subject combination for the next two years. It's a bit early to think about it but there's this urgency in me to find out the answer.
Yes, I do have homework to do but I think that this overrides homework cause I'm not just blogging... It's more than that. Yeps.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)