Just had chinese 'O' levels yesterday. Why did I sign up for it in the first place? Oh yes, just wanted to give it a shot. (Why does that remind me of how I persuaded my parents to let me enter GEP in primary 3?) Anyway, shall do a recap of yesterday before blogging about upcoming exams and my expectations.
Overslept in the morning. I can't believe it. Of all days to not hear all 3 alarm clocks, it had to be yesterday. On the bright side, it didn't really sink in how "dire" the situation was, so my mood stayed as it was. Paper 1. Pft. Was deciding between gong han and si han. The content for si han was easier but I couldn't remember the format so did gong han. -shrugs- And I didn't like the essay questions. As a general rule, I pick either the 2nd or 3rd question, prefer the 2nd question normally. But this round, I picked the bao zhang bao dao. Mhmm. Oh well. It was rather refreshing to do the first part of Paper 2. MCQ question for cloze passage and comprehension. =)
Had piano lesson after that. Haha. Extended piano lesson! =) Elmi jie jie should just rent out that room or something. Then went home and slacked a bit before studying a bit of biology. That's about it for yesterday?
Shall make a "time-table" for the next few days? Let's see.
31st Oct: Reading Day
Mechanics 2 - Practice questions
States of Matter - Read through notes and practice questions
Molecular Models - Read through notes and practice
1st Nov: English, Mechanics 2 and Elements of Music Theory
Reproduction & Inheritance - Read through notes + practice Punnett square
Indices, Surds and Sets - Read through notes
2nd Nov: Reproduction & Inheritance, Indices Surds and Sets
States of Matter - Read through notes and practice questions
Molecular Models - Read through notes and practice
3rd Nov: States of matter and Molecular models
Botany - Read through notes and redo quizzes
Thermodynamics - Do cheatsheet, read through notes
4th Nov: Weekend!
Botany - Read through notes and redo quizzes
Thermodynamics - Read through notes + practice
Trigonometry - Read through notes and practice questions
5th Nov: Weekend!
Botany - Read through notes and redo quizzes (cont'd)
Thermodynamics - Read through notes + practice
6th Nov: Botany and Thermodynamics
Trigonometry - Practice questions
Statistics - Read through notes
Hah. Now to see if I can actually keep to this and whether the things that I plan to do actually help. ^_- Oh. It's annoying when my expectations are of a certain level and I honestly doubt that I can hit them. Let's list by module, the overall grade that I want, ok?
English: B+
Higher Chinese: Wanted B but got B-
Trigonometry: B+
Statistics: A-
Indices, surds and sets: A-
Expo & Log: B+
Reproduction and Inhertiance: A-
Botany: B or B+
Hands-on Chemistry: B
States of Matter: B-
Molecular Models: B
Thermodynamics: B-
Mechanics 2: B-
Elements of Music Theory: A
3D art: B+
Hmm... Some of my aim might be higher than what's listed actually. But I rather push them away cause I don't want to fall from such a great height, ya? =p These are the grades that I'm hoping to get. But for some of them, it's rather unrealistic. Some of them, I'm aiming too low? =p
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
chilling winds
What does it say when I'm able to link the fact that it's windy to my mood? 0.0 But yes, as I was walking along the corridor, it was rather windy and though I enjoyed the wind, the word "chilling" came to mind. Ok. That was just random.
Anyway, was commenting that I wanted to blog about a few differences in my behaviour on Sunday compared to normal. Let's see. Normally, I have no qualms about sharing food or drinks with anyone. Sharing in the sense of same utensils/straw/etc... But when someone took a sip out of the packet of grass jelly that I bought, I cringed inwardly. Then, my manners (or to be really honest, lack of it) when I talk to him and stuff like that. Mei pointed it out over the phone when I was in the car. Somehow, my manners kind of erm.. no longer exist that when I'm in his company? It's been like that for quite a few years. Yes, I do feel bad at times about acting this way. But since young, I've never really been polite or courteous? Considering that I used to talk back to him each time several topics were brought up. Oh yes, one more difference in my behaviour that I realized. If people ask me about Jonathan or my family, I'll at least be smiling when I answer or start gushing about Jon's cuteness, ya? When he asks, he gets mono-syllabic replies or really short answers. Mhmm. I see no point in telling him a lot anyway. Oops? Go ahead and tsk me if you want. It's alright.
On a slightly brighter note, had the first meeting to plan for Z1 SP empowerment. Yes yes, my exams start on wednesday and yet I still go. =p Oops? But I do enjoy doing such stuff. Always enjoyed planning, brainstorming and all but opportunities hardly arise. That's why I'm trying to make the most out of each opportunity. Hmm. I shall leave this at that. This topic just triggered off another train of thoughts. =p
On a even brighter note, my dad just came back, and bought lots of chocolate for us. =) Was told to bring some to school for those 3. (Interesting whose name was first mentioned.. Laadeedaas.) And dad gave me some of the currency and even bought stamps for me. =) Ohh! Something else to blog about. While keeping the notes, coins and stamps in the various albums, realized how much I've neglected those collection. When I do have time, I only focus on the notes collection. My poor stamps and first-day covers are collecting dust and not being organized. I'm still rather amused by how I started "stamp-collecting". The reason behind my sudden interest for stamps in primary school. Uhohh. Memories come flooding back. Especially when I was digging out the albums and came across primary school pictures, those few class photos... And though I didn't pull out the picture, I saw the corner of another picture. It was taken after we received the trophies for SMO, I think. -sighs. More memories of primary school. Primary 6. Advanced math club. I remember wanting to enter NUSHS then but was complaining of how the school wasn't ready yet. Sighs. I think that's enough blogging. The more I blog, the more I trigger off memories. I'm not in the best of mood for memories to come flooding back.
Mood: this sense of loss
Music: I don't want to know (yes, it's an actual song)
Anyway, was commenting that I wanted to blog about a few differences in my behaviour on Sunday compared to normal. Let's see. Normally, I have no qualms about sharing food or drinks with anyone. Sharing in the sense of same utensils/straw/etc... But when someone took a sip out of the packet of grass jelly that I bought, I cringed inwardly. Then, my manners (or to be really honest, lack of it) when I talk to him and stuff like that. Mei pointed it out over the phone when I was in the car. Somehow, my manners kind of erm.. no longer exist that when I'm in his company? It's been like that for quite a few years. Yes, I do feel bad at times about acting this way. But since young, I've never really been polite or courteous? Considering that I used to talk back to him each time several topics were brought up. Oh yes, one more difference in my behaviour that I realized. If people ask me about Jonathan or my family, I'll at least be smiling when I answer or start gushing about Jon's cuteness, ya? When he asks, he gets mono-syllabic replies or really short answers. Mhmm. I see no point in telling him a lot anyway. Oops? Go ahead and tsk me if you want. It's alright.
On a slightly brighter note, had the first meeting to plan for Z1 SP empowerment. Yes yes, my exams start on wednesday and yet I still go. =p Oops? But I do enjoy doing such stuff. Always enjoyed planning, brainstorming and all but opportunities hardly arise. That's why I'm trying to make the most out of each opportunity. Hmm. I shall leave this at that. This topic just triggered off another train of thoughts. =p
On a even brighter note, my dad just came back, and bought lots of chocolate for us. =) Was told to bring some to school for those 3. (Interesting whose name was first mentioned.. Laadeedaas.) And dad gave me some of the currency and even bought stamps for me. =) Ohh! Something else to blog about. While keeping the notes, coins and stamps in the various albums, realized how much I've neglected those collection. When I do have time, I only focus on the notes collection. My poor stamps and first-day covers are collecting dust and not being organized. I'm still rather amused by how I started "stamp-collecting". The reason behind my sudden interest for stamps in primary school. Uhohh. Memories come flooding back. Especially when I was digging out the albums and came across primary school pictures, those few class photos... And though I didn't pull out the picture, I saw the corner of another picture. It was taken after we received the trophies for SMO, I think. -sighs. More memories of primary school. Primary 6. Advanced math club. I remember wanting to enter NUSHS then but was complaining of how the school wasn't ready yet. Sighs. I think that's enough blogging. The more I blog, the more I trigger off memories. I'm not in the best of mood for memories to come flooding back.
Mood: this sense of loss
Music: I don't want to know (yes, it's an actual song)
Saturday, October 28, 2006
the next few days...
Whee! Exams start on wednesday and I haven't really started studying yet.. Uhohh. Next few days, I'll have to force myself to study and revise. Anyway, I'm thinking that the next few days would be the most tiring and draining days of the whole year. If I can get through these few days, I'll be really contented. The realization of how "well-prepared" I am for the exams is starting to hit me rather hard. And to add to that, I do have expectations that I want to meet. To obtain a certain range of marks for each subject. But it's really unrealistic right now. I'm not even putting in the effort. That's why I know my marks are so going to fall short of my expectations. I'm not being pessimistic, I'm being realistic. Yes, some might say I should stop spending time blogging and all, but I can't study now. My mind's in this state which I dislike immensely. Of all times, right before the exam. If it was during the holidays, at least I can listen to my head and give it what it wants: which is a lot of sleep and rest. But now, I can't afford to do that.
Oh joy! I just got a phone call from some person in church who tells me that I'm in the sub-committee for the leadership camp in December. 0.0 Did I sign up for that? I don't seem to recall anything along those lines. But anyway, the thing is, that's a meeting tomorrow from 2-4 which means there goes another 2 hours of studying time if I do go.
Forget it. I'm resorting to rather desperate measures. Shall bring my notes along with me when I go out, so that I can read it on the bus or something. But right now, shall go play the piano again. I wonder why the piano's calling out to me so much nowadays. Yeps, I know the answer.
~ I woke up this morning, feeling kind of blue~
Oh joy! I just got a phone call from some person in church who tells me that I'm in the sub-committee for the leadership camp in December. 0.0 Did I sign up for that? I don't seem to recall anything along those lines. But anyway, the thing is, that's a meeting tomorrow from 2-4 which means there goes another 2 hours of studying time if I do go.
Forget it. I'm resorting to rather desperate measures. Shall bring my notes along with me when I go out, so that I can read it on the bus or something. But right now, shall go play the piano again. I wonder why the piano's calling out to me so much nowadays. Yeps, I know the answer.
~ I woke up this morning, feeling kind of blue~
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Counting down
While most people are about to start their holidays, our school's starting exams next week. Strangely enough, the panic and worry hasn't really hit me. At least not often enough.. This week's been rather relaxed with the nice long weekend (that started on friday after bio bridging module all the way til last night).
Today was also rather slack and it's kind of freaky when I'm so relaxed? Let's see. Free period during math. English was just listening to the other groups present and checking of our CA marks. =) Whee! -feels accomplished- Finally a CA mark that I'm really happy with. =) Chinese lesson consist of getting back our exam paper. Mini roller-coaster ride. Was pleased with certain portions of my paper but other portions.. Sighs. Physics was more or less a free period for us to "study". Ended up sleeping for 15 minutes or so? As in, really fell asleep and wasn't conscious of my surroundings. Mhmm.
Oh yes. I've been rather sleepy these few days. And it gets worse when I get more sleep... Or is it just my body complaining because the past two weeks, I've been sleeping really late? Sighs. Think I'll stop blogging now and go sleep? -yawns- Hopefully, I can sleep peacefully tonight. Unlike yesterday. Highly disrupted sleep. Lost count how many times I woke up in the middle of the night.
Today was also rather slack and it's kind of freaky when I'm so relaxed? Let's see. Free period during math. English was just listening to the other groups present and checking of our CA marks. =) Whee! -feels accomplished- Finally a CA mark that I'm really happy with. =) Chinese lesson consist of getting back our exam paper. Mini roller-coaster ride. Was pleased with certain portions of my paper but other portions.. Sighs. Physics was more or less a free period for us to "study". Ended up sleeping for 15 minutes or so? As in, really fell asleep and wasn't conscious of my surroundings. Mhmm.
Oh yes. I've been rather sleepy these few days. And it gets worse when I get more sleep... Or is it just my body complaining because the past two weeks, I've been sleeping really late? Sighs. Think I'll stop blogging now and go sleep? -yawns- Hopefully, I can sleep peacefully tonight. Unlike yesterday. Highly disrupted sleep. Lost count how many times I woke up in the middle of the night.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
saturday's roller-coaster ride
Due to the time now, I really should go to sleep. But I've got to keep my blog active and since I'm still up, why not blog a quick entry? So it'll just be words, ok?
Smses. SPC. Disappointment. Boredom. Wishes. Phone calls. East Coast. Barbeque. Breakwater. Waves. Seashells. Temperature. Frisbee. Memories. "Responsibilities". Cycling. Cross Country. Memories. Missing. Testing the limits. Wind. Loneliness. Cutting cake. More cycling. Songs. Triggers. Failure. Barbeque. Going through the motions. Photos. Getting away. Car ride. Mahjong playing. Apologies. Pushing everything to the back. Hoping.
I might/might not elaborate on this entry... But on a side note, I've changed quite a bit. It's gradual. But the whole day at the beach just made me realize how often I'm physically some place but my mind's no longer there. Family over friends or friends over family? Once, I didn't have to even think about the answer. I promised and was naive enough to think that things could always remain that way. But that's just another thing I was in denial about...
Smses. SPC. Disappointment. Boredom. Wishes. Phone calls. East Coast. Barbeque. Breakwater. Waves. Seashells. Temperature. Frisbee. Memories. "Responsibilities". Cycling. Cross Country. Memories. Missing. Testing the limits. Wind. Loneliness. Cutting cake. More cycling. Songs. Triggers. Failure. Barbeque. Going through the motions. Photos. Getting away. Car ride. Mahjong playing. Apologies. Pushing everything to the back. Hoping.
I might/might not elaborate on this entry... But on a side note, I've changed quite a bit. It's gradual. But the whole day at the beach just made me realize how often I'm physically some place but my mind's no longer there. Family over friends or friends over family? Once, I didn't have to even think about the answer. I promised and was naive enough to think that things could always remain that way. But that's just another thing I was in denial about...
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
1st half of monday
Aiyoh. I give in to mei to much. Ask me to blog, then I blog now at this time of the day... =p Bearing in mind that I'm blogging this slightly past 12 midnight, I'll have to refer to 16th of Oct as yesterday...
Let's see. Went to school to "dump" my bag as usual. Yay! Mei joined me in school today. Was amused by kor and mei. Then walked to pool. Whee! It's really more enjoyable when there's company. If not, it's like I'll just listen to my mp3 player. Swimming.. Repeated the usual activities again. Wanted to leave earlier so pushed myself a bit harder for the 8 laps. Finally, my swimming shows some signs of improvement.. But yes, I need to get back to swimming more regularly instead of just playing water in the pool like what I've been doing for the past few years. Walked back to school and waited with mei and nes for *drum roll* McDelivery!
A nice enjoyable 1 hour break since we reached school earlier than normal. Could enjoy and savour the taste of hotcakes with sausage. =) "Singing sessions".. -shakes head- half exasperated, half amused. Math lesson, then lunch then followed by art. Not that much to blog about. Corrections: not that much that I want to blog about...
Random note: What is it with me and having phone calls that last past 1 hour for the past few days? And not just one person..
Let's see. Went to school to "dump" my bag as usual. Yay! Mei joined me in school today. Was amused by kor and mei. Then walked to pool. Whee! It's really more enjoyable when there's company. If not, it's like I'll just listen to my mp3 player. Swimming.. Repeated the usual activities again. Wanted to leave earlier so pushed myself a bit harder for the 8 laps. Finally, my swimming shows some signs of improvement.. But yes, I need to get back to swimming more regularly instead of just playing water in the pool like what I've been doing for the past few years. Walked back to school and waited with mei and nes for *drum roll* McDelivery!
A nice enjoyable 1 hour break since we reached school earlier than normal. Could enjoy and savour the taste of hotcakes with sausage. =) "Singing sessions".. -shakes head- half exasperated, half amused. Math lesson, then lunch then followed by art. Not that much to blog about. Corrections: not that much that I want to blog about...
Random note: What is it with me and having phone calls that last past 1 hour for the past few days? And not just one person..
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
another wednesday entry
Oops? Blogging during journalism again. =p I would try to write an article except I have no idea what to write about. There's no fixed topic so it's up to us what we want to write about but right now, I can't think of anything. So I'm blogging. =p
Uhohh. There's been a lack of hyper entries and stuff? Heehee. -thinks of how to remedy that- Ohh!! I know. Yay! Can look foward to after CCA. Practice on the piano for 30 minutes, while waiting for mei and kor to end choir. Then later, can go and slack in a classroom and watch a show/listen to music/finish biology assignment. Mhmm. Yeps.
I want to sleep. -yawns- Thing is, I can't close my eyes now. When I close them, my eyes feel so strained and tired. Heehee. Note: I'm saying that my eyes are strained and tired, not that I'm tired. Oh wait. Am I tired? -shrugs- Don't know..
Urk! I want to start writing an article but have absolutely no idea what to write about. Yeps. I have 1 hour to think of something to write and then type it out.
Uhohh. There's been a lack of hyper entries and stuff? Heehee. -thinks of how to remedy that- Ohh!! I know. Yay! Can look foward to after CCA. Practice on the piano for 30 minutes, while waiting for mei and kor to end choir. Then later, can go and slack in a classroom and watch a show/listen to music/finish biology assignment. Mhmm. Yeps.
I want to sleep. -yawns- Thing is, I can't close my eyes now. When I close them, my eyes feel so strained and tired. Heehee. Note: I'm saying that my eyes are strained and tired, not that I'm tired. Oh wait. Am I tired? -shrugs- Don't know..
Urk! I want to start writing an article but have absolutely no idea what to write about. Yeps. I have 1 hour to think of something to write and then type it out.
Monday, October 09, 2006
looking for answers
Whee! Could someone please tell me why I want to sleep right now at 8:40pm?! It's not like I've been sleeping late or something. From friday onwards, I've gone back to normal sleep hours. In fact, maybe more than normal.
Actually, I don't think I'm sleepy. More of mind shut down on me. So I can't really do my work and slacking even more will make me feel bad so sleep's the nicer alternative. Then I'll wake up tomorrow and panic because the chemistry lab report's not done.
Ohh. Time to touch more on the title... If not, it would just be a white elephant. Everyone's always looking for answers, to situations and all. "Why is....?", "What is happening?", "Where can I go?", "What can I do?", "How can this be resolved?" Whee! I should do the 5 Ws and 1 H, ya? Lol. Nah.. Forget it. But yes, we're alwaysa asking questions and wanting answers. But hey, what's life without its mysteries? Ohh. A rhetorical question. (Uhohh. Think I'm losing it if I ask blogging senselessly about questions. Oh wait, I'm already crazy/normal.)
Quite a few questions I want to know the answers to... Hmm. Let's play "Guess the context of the question"! (Guess what I'm referring to?) =p
1) How did things turn out this way?
2) What exactly is happening now?
3) Why am I in this state?
4) How do I resolve this and make things better?
So many questions about quite a few situations. But the answers are far more evasive. In fact, at times, not knowing the answer to your questions might be better. It takes quite a bit of strength to bear the burden of the truth. The truth might be too much to handle at times. Is that why lying is justified? So as not to destroy the illusion of others...
Ok. My thoughts are all over the place. Have no idea how I typed out everything I did. But yes, really want to go sleep now. Sadly enough, I can't afford to. Actually, I can but I won't neglect my homework. I'll have to deal with it sooner or later. Xian ku hou tian or xian tian hou ku? I've been brought up to do the former but the latter's always so tempting... =p
Actually, I don't think I'm sleepy. More of mind shut down on me. So I can't really do my work and slacking even more will make me feel bad so sleep's the nicer alternative. Then I'll wake up tomorrow and panic because the chemistry lab report's not done.
Ohh. Time to touch more on the title... If not, it would just be a white elephant. Everyone's always looking for answers, to situations and all. "Why is....?", "What is happening?", "Where can I go?", "What can I do?", "How can this be resolved?" Whee! I should do the 5 Ws and 1 H, ya? Lol. Nah.. Forget it. But yes, we're alwaysa asking questions and wanting answers. But hey, what's life without its mysteries? Ohh. A rhetorical question. (Uhohh. Think I'm losing it if I ask blogging senselessly about questions. Oh wait, I'm already crazy/normal.)
Quite a few questions I want to know the answers to... Hmm. Let's play "Guess the context of the question"! (Guess what I'm referring to?) =p
1) How did things turn out this way?
2) What exactly is happening now?
3) Why am I in this state?
4) How do I resolve this and make things better?
So many questions about quite a few situations. But the answers are far more evasive. In fact, at times, not knowing the answer to your questions might be better. It takes quite a bit of strength to bear the burden of the truth. The truth might be too much to handle at times. Is that why lying is justified? So as not to destroy the illusion of others...
Ok. My thoughts are all over the place. Have no idea how I typed out everything I did. But yes, really want to go sleep now. Sadly enough, I can't afford to. Actually, I can but I won't neglect my homework. I'll have to deal with it sooner or later. Xian ku hou tian or xian tian hou ku? I've been brought up to do the former but the latter's always so tempting... =p
Sunday, October 08, 2006
birth month determines personality?!
August:
Outgoing personality. Takes risks. Feeds on attention. No self control. Kind hearted.Self confident. Loud and boisterous. Very revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. (At times only?) Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. Big imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. (Haha. Why did I strike this out? Guess I'm ok with studying?) In need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. Stubborn. Curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.
Ok... Those in bold means I agree. Those normal text means I don't have much of an opinion on that. Those that I strike out means I disagree.
Hmm. A short post on this then... Actually, I should strike out "takes risks" but I do, just rarely and mostly "illogical" stuff? Haha. Hmm... Longs for freedom can be bold but if I think about it, do I value freedom that much? Yeps... Hmm. The few things I do agree with a lot is "curious", "stubborn" and "no self control". Yeps... Haha. No strong self so have to strike out "strong willed". I mean, how many times do I give in so easily to you all ah? And let myself be bullied. Lol.
Whee! On a side note: Today was an exceptionally nice day! =) -bounce-
Outgoing personality. Takes risks. Feeds on attention. No self control. Kind hearted.
Ok... Those in bold means I agree. Those normal text means I don't have much of an opinion on that. Those that I strike out means I disagree.
Hmm. A short post on this then... Actually, I should strike out "takes risks" but I do, just rarely and mostly "illogical" stuff? Haha. Hmm... Longs for freedom can be bold but if I think about it, do I value freedom that much? Yeps... Hmm. The few things I do agree with a lot is "curious", "stubborn" and "no self control". Yeps... Haha. No strong self so have to strike out "strong willed". I mean, how many times do I give in so easily to you all ah? And let myself be bullied. Lol.
Whee! On a side note: Today was an exceptionally nice day! =) -bounce-
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
self-awareness
Whee! I prove myself right again... Yesterday night/this morning, one or two possible scenarios crossed my mind. And they came true. Let's see... Was telling myself that there was no way I'll be able to stay awake and not go to sleep. Duh. And the one I want to blog about, wouldn't finish the english article during journalism. And ya, it's my choice that I choose not to write it now and blog instead but seriously, no inspiration. =p Besides, there were actually things to be done. Such as proof-reading the same few pages again. What is it with me and getting the mentor group write-ups? Read through them countless times. Ohh. Was double checking the spelling of the names against a name list. After that, everyone was told to do a small exercise: layout an article using Dreamweaver. Whee! Didn't want to code (can't really code that well anyway) so just use all the tools and finished the layout within minutes. It's really plain and all but oh well, satisfactory for now?
Ack. Forget it. I shall not spend so much time in front of the computer. Time to get down to the piano!
Ack. Forget it. I shall not spend so much time in front of the computer. Time to get down to the piano!
Monday, October 02, 2006
staying up late
Urk. Not a good thing when I start to stay up past 11 for quite a few days... At least it's not consecutive. With the exception of last week. Was rushing out biology assignment. Oh well. Been attempting to do the english articles for the media project. Of all times, why did it have to be now?! I mean, I can't even think of stuff to write and yet I'm trying to produce quality work. It's irritating and annoying. Though it's tempting to go sleep now and just print out whatever I have (which isn't much), I can't. Because I'm having expectations of the level of work that I do. Urk. Feel like swearing. This's just a preview of what it'll be like when the exams come and I start to have expectations. -cringe- I can't just forget about the expectations I have. And then when I fail to meet them, it hurts even more. (Note: interesting use of the word "when"...)
Ohh. And really, I don't think it was such a good idea to pick that particular topic for the English article. I can write it without emotions and stuff, as long as I push things to the back of my head and maintain this weird calmness and control. But it can't last for long. Heehee. Zi zao ma fan? Haha. Laughing at myself. So right, I better get down to finishing up the articles. Oh wait, I've only done half of one and barely started the other one. So corrections, it should be "I better get to down to writing the articles." Heehee. Can't believe I'm finding all these amusing and can spare the energy to laugh at myself. Oh well. Most things are unbelievable anyway.
Ohh. And really, I don't think it was such a good idea to pick that particular topic for the English article. I can write it without emotions and stuff, as long as I push things to the back of my head and maintain this weird calmness and control. But it can't last for long. Heehee. Zi zao ma fan? Haha. Laughing at myself. So right, I better get down to finishing up the articles. Oh wait, I've only done half of one and barely started the other one. So corrections, it should be "I better get to down to writing the articles." Heehee. Can't believe I'm finding all these amusing and can spare the energy to laugh at myself. Oh well. Most things are unbelievable anyway.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
soft toys!
Haha. Can't think of a title so decided to use this for now. Heehee. Too many soft toys are appearing in school, especially this term. Let's see. Current count: 4 toys. Lol. Highly amusing and interesting for everyone. Especially yesterday. It's been too long since the 4 of us could just go hyper in E1-14, ya? Heehee. I like my handphone picture. Renee, I want your boyfriend! So cute! Rofl. Okok. Let me clarify something. Renee's boyfriend isn't a person, ok? Haha. Never mind.
Shall I blog about yesterday? -thinks- Okies! Why not? Since I'll only start work after I'm done blogging.. =p Mentoring session. Urk. When did I start helping mei with leading the discussion? Pft. Never mind. At least it's only this once. =) Then physics. The usual copying and stuff. Mhmm. Break. Relatively normal and stuff? Math bridging module. Ziah. Thanks to mei ah, I'm no longer progressing along with the teacher. Tend to tune out and do what I can by myself/or with mei and nes's help. So was starting on the homework during lesson time. Oops? But still not as fast as mei who's finished everything? 0.0 Then biology bridging module... Pft. No video yesterday. Haha. Never mind. And lesson learnt: Last minute mugging for biology quiz doesn't work. =p Had time for lunch between biology bridging module and chemistry extra lesson. Whew. Luckily. Was getting hungry. Chemistry took less time than expected so 4 of us could go occupy E1-14 for a longer time. Initially, we were all doing our whole things (e.g reading and stuff), then after quite some time, we got more hyper. Mhmm. =) And why am I the one always getting poked? Especially unfair when you all ganged up and poke me at the same time... -pouts- Haha. Oh well.
After staying in school, rushed down to Serene for dinner with mel and saac. Then went to church and met Sis Jas to prepare for Glorify. Still think I get very nervous. Whee! Lcell was in the auditorium. Since it was open and no one else was using it. =) -bounce- Hmm. Getting more and more used to being in Lcell. Compared to the start of the year and all, I think I've improved in certain areas. But of course, there are things I still need to work on. Lots of things. Mhmm. Talked to mei on the phone on the way home. Thank you! =) Heehee. Went home and attempted to do a bit of chemistry lab report. Oh well. Then started reading and erm... -cough- slept relatively late/early. Not intentional. =p Made up for it by not getting out of bed til 10.
Heehee. Guess I better stop slacking and try to figure out the calculations for chemistry?
Shall I blog about yesterday? -thinks- Okies! Why not? Since I'll only start work after I'm done blogging.. =p Mentoring session. Urk. When did I start helping mei with leading the discussion? Pft. Never mind. At least it's only this once. =) Then physics. The usual copying and stuff. Mhmm. Break. Relatively normal and stuff? Math bridging module. Ziah. Thanks to mei ah, I'm no longer progressing along with the teacher. Tend to tune out and do what I can by myself/or with mei and nes's help. So was starting on the homework during lesson time. Oops? But still not as fast as mei who's finished everything? 0.0 Then biology bridging module... Pft. No video yesterday. Haha. Never mind. And lesson learnt: Last minute mugging for biology quiz doesn't work. =p Had time for lunch between biology bridging module and chemistry extra lesson. Whew. Luckily. Was getting hungry. Chemistry took less time than expected so 4 of us could go occupy E1-14 for a longer time. Initially, we were all doing our whole things (e.g reading and stuff), then after quite some time, we got more hyper. Mhmm. =) And why am I the one always getting poked? Especially unfair when you all ganged up and poke me at the same time... -pouts- Haha. Oh well.
After staying in school, rushed down to Serene for dinner with mel and saac. Then went to church and met Sis Jas to prepare for Glorify. Still think I get very nervous. Whee! Lcell was in the auditorium. Since it was open and no one else was using it. =) -bounce- Hmm. Getting more and more used to being in Lcell. Compared to the start of the year and all, I think I've improved in certain areas. But of course, there are things I still need to work on. Lots of things. Mhmm. Talked to mei on the phone on the way home. Thank you! =) Heehee. Went home and attempted to do a bit of chemistry lab report. Oh well. Then started reading and erm... -cough- slept relatively late/early. Not intentional. =p Made up for it by not getting out of bed til 10.
Heehee. Guess I better stop slacking and try to figure out the calculations for chemistry?
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
wed 2-4pm
Hmm... After writing those articles last week and all, I was right, I would get a break from writing. Ya. Was only asked to write something towards the end of journalism. But mainly, I did proof-reading. For the don't know how many times. And it's always the same few pages? But yes, I found it amusing (in the ironic way) that the first set of papers I had to proof read were the descriptions of the pioneer batch of Year 3s. Looking through the names, the pictures, the mentor group descriptions... Whew. Luckily I didn't have to write out the surnames of each of the students for two of the mentor groups. The copy I was proof-reading wasn't updated. Whew. If not, -cringe-. But it's kind of interesting to just read through everything again and again. Black and white pictures of the seniors.
If you all haven't figured out the irony, then never mind. But yes, found it rather ironic that I was proof-reading that set of documents. Laadeedaa. Oh well. Side note: I know the surnames of a few more people? -amused-
If you all haven't figured out the irony, then never mind. But yes, found it rather ironic that I was proof-reading that set of documents. Laadeedaa. Oh well. Side note: I know the surnames of a few more people? -amused-
can't sleep
Times like this, I'm thankful that the computer's in my room with internet connection. In fact, this's the first time I've turned on the computer to blog just because I couldn't sleep. Mhmm. Ok. Before I blog any further, I have to decide something. Which line of thought to blog about. There's obviously a reason why I'm still up, ya? No matter how much I can't sleep, rarely do I reach this state when sleep really doesn't come easily. For me, that's shocking. But I'm getting used to it. At least I know why I can't sleep.
Think I'll just be vague. Note: If you don't understand the entry, it's understandable. I'll try not to blog with any particular audience in mind but a lot of the things would have to be inferred and you'll need to have some contextual knowledge (-cringe. history.) to figure out.
Some changes are reversible. Sure, there are some there aren't reversible but it can continue changing into something better. At least, that's what I'm hoping. Hope. That is one of the few things keeping me going. And as usual, various promises I made to myself and to others keep me from falling and feeling the impact as much. They're like safety mattresses. I can take them away and just fall, bearing the full blow. Still, I haven't reached that point yet. Fortunately?
Oh well. My pillow will be extremely comfortable to sleep on later if I can find the right position to place my head. The pillow has different temperature at different places. Wonder why. Heehee. Maybe it's due to the aircon. Who knows? It's highly tempting to stay up the whole night but I'll opt for escaping from all this through sleep. If only I can fall asleep.
Retreat and taking a rest might be tactics for war and all but somehow, I still feel like I'm walking away. I've hurt those I care for and love before. Sorry. If only I coud stop doing that... I don't know how but I really want to know. Just to see them well, I'll give as much as I can.
Mood: tired
Music: If I never knew you
Think I'll just be vague. Note: If you don't understand the entry, it's understandable. I'll try not to blog with any particular audience in mind but a lot of the things would have to be inferred and you'll need to have some contextual knowledge (-cringe. history.) to figure out.
Some changes are reversible. Sure, there are some there aren't reversible but it can continue changing into something better. At least, that's what I'm hoping. Hope. That is one of the few things keeping me going. And as usual, various promises I made to myself and to others keep me from falling and feeling the impact as much. They're like safety mattresses. I can take them away and just fall, bearing the full blow. Still, I haven't reached that point yet. Fortunately?
Oh well. My pillow will be extremely comfortable to sleep on later if I can find the right position to place my head. The pillow has different temperature at different places. Wonder why. Heehee. Maybe it's due to the aircon. Who knows? It's highly tempting to stay up the whole night but I'll opt for escaping from all this through sleep. If only I can fall asleep.
Retreat and taking a rest might be tactics for war and all but somehow, I still feel like I'm walking away. I've hurt those I care for and love before. Sorry. If only I coud stop doing that... I don't know how but I really want to know. Just to see them well, I'll give as much as I can.
Mood: tired
Music: If I never knew you
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
quotes
"Memories are important. They're something you can hold on to."
"Memories are precious. Even bad ones. They make us who we are."
"I should let him shelter me a bit, stop jabbing at him, leave my own fear behind. But the fear remained."
"Learn from water. Water is malleable, water is gentle, but drops of water wear away stone, and everything it touches is shaped by its passing."
Hmm. All these are taken from the book I'm reading right now, The Fifth Sacred Thing. The first two lines, I don't think I need to explain why I typed them out. How true... Now, just to combine both together. Memories are important and precious. Even bad ones. They're something you can hold on to and make us who we are. Hmm. Sums it up, pretty well, ya? Again, more things are starting to mean more and more to me. The slightest things can trigger off these whole string of thoughts and stuff.
Third line(s) quoted was for the idea behind the line. The whole "being protected and all is good but there's still fear"... Hmm. Don't feel like elaborating.
Last one. Ahh. My "element". Still have that line from Memoirs of a Geisha in my diary. Also about water, or to be precise, the nature of water. I don't know. Though I'm sure I've displayed both sides of water before, there's one side that feels more natural than the other. It's fairly obvious which side I prefer and am more used to... Sighs. But today, it was a bit towards the other side. Not that I "unleashed" it. But ya.. It was waiting. -cringe- Sounds like I have a split personality, ya? Lol. But nah... Not understanding what I blog about either.
Ok. Enough about elaborating on the quotes and all. Think I'll try to finish more biology homework. Sighs. But really, not in the mood to. Physically and mentally.
"Memories are precious. Even bad ones. They make us who we are."
"I should let him shelter me a bit, stop jabbing at him, leave my own fear behind. But the fear remained."
"Learn from water. Water is malleable, water is gentle, but drops of water wear away stone, and everything it touches is shaped by its passing."
Hmm. All these are taken from the book I'm reading right now, The Fifth Sacred Thing. The first two lines, I don't think I need to explain why I typed them out. How true... Now, just to combine both together. Memories are important and precious. Even bad ones. They're something you can hold on to and make us who we are. Hmm. Sums it up, pretty well, ya? Again, more things are starting to mean more and more to me. The slightest things can trigger off these whole string of thoughts and stuff.
Third line(s) quoted was for the idea behind the line. The whole "being protected and all is good but there's still fear"... Hmm. Don't feel like elaborating.
Last one. Ahh. My "element". Still have that line from Memoirs of a Geisha in my diary. Also about water, or to be precise, the nature of water. I don't know. Though I'm sure I've displayed both sides of water before, there's one side that feels more natural than the other. It's fairly obvious which side I prefer and am more used to... Sighs. But today, it was a bit towards the other side. Not that I "unleashed" it. But ya.. It was waiting. -cringe- Sounds like I have a split personality, ya? Lol. But nah... Not understanding what I blog about either.
Ok. Enough about elaborating on the quotes and all. Think I'll try to finish more biology homework. Sighs. But really, not in the mood to. Physically and mentally.
Monday, September 25, 2006
you give me wings
You give me wings when I'm falling
You lift me up when I'm down
- Lyrics from "You give me wings"
Hmm. Heard this song yesterday on Singapore Idol. It's an original song composed for the winner of Singapore Idol. The lyrics are really meaningful. Ever more so in this period of time. Was pointing out to mei how this song is so suitable for song dedications and all. Mhmm. Been wanting to blog but can't think of what to blog about.. Or rather reluctant to blog about the things that are taking up most of my thoughts.
Ack. Still very sleepy. Was using the computer then decided to lie down for awhile and ended up making myself comfortable (e.g hugging a soft toy, covering myself with the comforter) and taking a short nap. Was smart enough to set an alarm though. =p After all the times when a short nap resulted in me sleeping for more than an hour. Yeps. Okies. Better stop using the computer. Shall go practice a bit of piano... =)
You lift me up when I'm down
- Lyrics from "You give me wings"
Hmm. Heard this song yesterday on Singapore Idol. It's an original song composed for the winner of Singapore Idol. The lyrics are really meaningful. Ever more so in this period of time. Was pointing out to mei how this song is so suitable for song dedications and all. Mhmm. Been wanting to blog but can't think of what to blog about.. Or rather reluctant to blog about the things that are taking up most of my thoughts.
Ack. Still very sleepy. Was using the computer then decided to lie down for awhile and ended up making myself comfortable (e.g hugging a soft toy, covering myself with the comforter) and taking a short nap. Was smart enough to set an alarm though. =p After all the times when a short nap resulted in me sleeping for more than an hour. Yeps. Okies. Better stop using the computer. Shall go practice a bit of piano... =)
Saturday, September 23, 2006
balancing act
Can't think of a title so shall leave it blank.
-cringe- The entry from 2 days ago was so out of character. In the sense that I've tried to bring those kind of entries down to a minimum. Oh well. Things have improved. In a way. Want to blog but have no idea what to blog about. But yes. Right now, everything's just very calm. All the various situations. It's like balancing on a tightrope. I still have the balance and all but one wrong step, one push and everything will probably collaspe.
At least, it's still bearable now. But the silence of the house does gets a bit irritating at times.
~at least, I still have something to grab hold onto if I fall. Thanks.~
-cringe- The entry from 2 days ago was so out of character. In the sense that I've tried to bring those kind of entries down to a minimum. Oh well. Things have improved. In a way. Want to blog but have no idea what to blog about. But yes. Right now, everything's just very calm. All the various situations. It's like balancing on a tightrope. I still have the balance and all but one wrong step, one push and everything will probably collaspe.
At least, it's still bearable now. But the silence of the house does gets a bit irritating at times.
~at least, I still have something to grab hold onto if I fall. Thanks.~
Thursday, September 21, 2006
broken promises
Though it hurts when people don't keep their promise or I don't keep my promise to others which results in them getting hurt, there's one last situation in which it hurts so much. Me not keeping my promises to myself. So many broken today. Fine, maybe not so many. But the few that I don't want to break the most just had to be broken. And it was my own actions that caused me to break that promise I made to myself.
It's highly tempting to blog one of those entries with a lot of references to "you" and all but there's not much of a point, ya? It's the easy way out to blog. The harder one is actually addressing people face to face. I've been avoiding that. Guess I've got to settle everything soon.
Whee! The piano calls. Actually, a lot of things/places are calling out my name. Shall see how well I am able to respond to these "calls". But highly doubt can answer those "calls". Situation doesn't permit. And some of them, I'm trying my best not to respond to those calls. I can't.
It's highly tempting to blog one of those entries with a lot of references to "you" and all but there's not much of a point, ya? It's the easy way out to blog. The harder one is actually addressing people face to face. I've been avoiding that. Guess I've got to settle everything soon.
Whee! The piano calls. Actually, a lot of things/places are calling out my name. Shall see how well I am able to respond to these "calls". But highly doubt can answer those "calls". Situation doesn't permit. And some of them, I'm trying my best not to respond to those calls. I can't.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
tired
Whoa. Other than selective hearing, looks like I have selective timing. In the sense that my mind chooses when to think about stuff at such wonderful times.
Yayness. Biology test tomorrow. Though I could always do the speed-read through notes way of studying, I actually want to do well in the test. Urk. Of all times to want to do well. I want to study but as usual, it really depends on my mood. Right now, I just want a break. Not just going to the kitchen and grabbing a snack. More than that. -thinks of places- Let's see. Other than biology test tomorrow, there's a chemistry quiz tomorrow and chem lab notebook due. Quiz, first lesson of the day. And my chemistry grade is low enough already. Then after end of school tomorrow, study for expo and log exam. And have to complete math bridging module homework. I really dislike it when my mind chooses to be selective about when I care about academic matters. If it was constantly care/don't care, it's easier to deal with. But at random times, I'll just remember the importance of studies and/or need to prove something to myself and fulfil certain personal expectations.
Sighs. I should go off and study and finish all those things, right? But I've learned that it's no point trying to study if I can't focus. So will allow myself to go on for a while more before I stop blogging. On the bright side, everything should be better after friday afternoon. But first, have to endure through tomorrow and friday. =) Oh well. How bad can it get? There's this resignation to it all. I've been through similar experiences for me to get too worried. Ohh. And realized that I'm sleepy. Sleepy enough to sleep now actually. Just lie down for awhile so ya... Ack. Better continue sitting upright, if not...
Yayness. Biology test tomorrow. Though I could always do the speed-read through notes way of studying, I actually want to do well in the test. Urk. Of all times to want to do well. I want to study but as usual, it really depends on my mood. Right now, I just want a break. Not just going to the kitchen and grabbing a snack. More than that. -thinks of places- Let's see. Other than biology test tomorrow, there's a chemistry quiz tomorrow and chem lab notebook due. Quiz, first lesson of the day. And my chemistry grade is low enough already. Then after end of school tomorrow, study for expo and log exam. And have to complete math bridging module homework. I really dislike it when my mind chooses to be selective about when I care about academic matters. If it was constantly care/don't care, it's easier to deal with. But at random times, I'll just remember the importance of studies and/or need to prove something to myself and fulfil certain personal expectations.
Sighs. I should go off and study and finish all those things, right? But I've learned that it's no point trying to study if I can't focus. So will allow myself to go on for a while more before I stop blogging. On the bright side, everything should be better after friday afternoon. But first, have to endure through tomorrow and friday. =) Oh well. How bad can it get? There's this resignation to it all. I've been through similar experiences for me to get too worried. Ohh. And realized that I'm sleepy. Sleepy enough to sleep now actually. Just lie down for awhile so ya... Ack. Better continue sitting upright, if not...
CCA - journalism
Urk. I really shoudn't be blogging now, ya? But guess what, I don't really care that much now cause my mood's really too low. I want to get the chemistry week article done but first, I have to write the introduction. Once I can do that, I'll be able to write. Even though I've just written out the points to be covered on foolscap, I doubt I'll be able to start.
Right now, I feel like getting out of the computer lab. It's very restricting to be confined to within the 4 walls. CCA. I have to make up my mind soon. I can't continue on with this attitude if I'm going to stay in Journalism. But if I'm not going to, then what CCA? Though choir was rather an appealing choice, note the "was". Laadeedaa. Mhmm. I don't know... Been having a rather crazy idea to have a certain CCA started in this school but it's really not that feasible and highly impossible. Not the time for it anyway. But yes, shall push that idea to the back of my head.
Whee! I have 35 minutes to finish one article. Quite alright actually but first I have to get into the mood. =p Ack. Some corner's of the school's calling my name. Heehee. -shrugs- Ok. Just try my best to focus and finish up the article and then leave Journalism slightly earlier.
Ohh. There's one feature of livejournal which I rather like and I think I'll do that for this blog.
Mood: thinking (too much...)
Music: Shooting Star - Boyzone (it's an obscure song from Hercules)
Right now, I feel like getting out of the computer lab. It's very restricting to be confined to within the 4 walls. CCA. I have to make up my mind soon. I can't continue on with this attitude if I'm going to stay in Journalism. But if I'm not going to, then what CCA? Though choir was rather an appealing choice, note the "was". Laadeedaa. Mhmm. I don't know... Been having a rather crazy idea to have a certain CCA started in this school but it's really not that feasible and highly impossible. Not the time for it anyway. But yes, shall push that idea to the back of my head.
Whee! I have 35 minutes to finish one article. Quite alright actually but first I have to get into the mood. =p Ack. Some corner's of the school's calling my name. Heehee. -shrugs- Ok. Just try my best to focus and finish up the article and then leave Journalism slightly earlier.
Ohh. There's one feature of livejournal which I rather like and I think I'll do that for this blog.
Mood: thinking (too much...)
Music: Shooting Star - Boyzone (it's an obscure song from Hercules)
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