Malaysia trip. Ups and downs. Literally?

I'll try to avoid making this entry about my trip to Malaysia a boring recount... But if it is, er.. sorry.

Long drive up to KL... Slept most of the time. In fact, as long as I'm in car for long enough, I'll fall asleep. =p Stayed at the malaysian equivalent of a condo. Loaned to my family by my uncle's friend. Did a lot of window shopping. Emphasis on "window". In fact, in this whole trip, I only bought 1 shirt. Not bad. But ya. KL was actually just going to malls and eating. Nothing special.

Hmm... Let me do a quick comparison of the views from each of my room's window.
Kuala Lumpur. I could see the Petronas tower and all the other towers. It was nicer at night with all the lights shining against the darkness.
Penang. Hmm... The ocean and the sky. The first day, I saw the view after sunset. The sky wasn't dark yet, instead it was filled with streaks of orange, red and pink. In the morning, the view would be just blue meeting blue. It was hard to separate the sky from the sea.
Now, which do you think I liked better? The answer would also be the answer to which place I preferred overall...

Penang. Was happier and had a chance to relive some of the past memories. The memories I had of my innocence. The butterfly farm, the fruit farm. Went there on a previous trip 3 years ago... Some things changed, some things stay the same. Even just being able to get butterflies onto my fingers long enough for a picture was so satisfying... Enjoying the view from the fruit farm as I ate my lunch which consist of fruits and ice kachang. =) Even things like these which don't cost much brought laughter to my face. But now, as I think about it, something's tugging inside me. Tears are about to fall. Cause I don't know how long it will be before I'm so happy again. Anyway, one more memorable part of my stay in Penang.

Para-sailing. Before trying it, I was dreaming about it, wanting to have that experience. But once I had the chance, I was fearful. Hesitant... Oh well, at least I did have that experience in the end. The real thrill is when you're taking two steps on the beach and in a few seconds, you find yourself up in the sky. Hmm. It was nice just enjoying the view from above... But yep... Doesn't feel right blogging about it so that's all...

In fact, I'm no longer in the mood to blog... But actually, this is all I want to blog about. So don't expect anymore entries on my trip. But if you have any questions about my trip, feel free to ask me, ok? That's all. Good night.

Remembering how to smile.

Ok... This entry will be completely random... Judging from the title and all.
The week after camp, no major changes or anything to the way i live my life but I know I tend to be happier and more light-hearted now. SP course, spending quality time with my mum (which involves training of muscles cos I had to help pack the house and was moving boxes up and down)... But ya. Was smiling and laughing quite often, no issues to weigh me down.. At least if I don't think about them. But since there's nothing to remind me of the issues, I was fine. The way I live became a nice routine. Business in the day. At night, just time to settle down and rest. Watching shows til 11, doing my TAWG, listening to music, randomly sending smses and falling asleep.

Highlight of the week: Friday and Saturday!
Went to orchard road to SALT people. The group I was in was supposed to stay at Far East Plaza. Hmm. A learning experience. Didn't noe that I was that thick-skinned but since it's for God, anything's possible. After that, went window-shopping and lost track of time... =p Oops? Had to rush for family cell x'mas dinner. Hmm... Ya.

Saturday, piano then went Jurong Point to shop for x'mas presents... Ah... I miss the arcade... Oops? Guilty. But ya. Bought presents then went home then went to church. Hmm... The part that I feel like mentioning is during service. We were sitting on the floor and I was amused by something. can't remember what. But anyway, it just hit me that I was happier than I've been in a long time. That amused smile that I always like. It's on my face more often. I think I know why... It's due to several things, events, people, situation... Oh well. Just wanted to say thanks. To those that place a smile on my face. And hmm... I hope I can keep smiling even when school term starts. But this time, I'm assured. I'm starting to think that I'll be fine. =)

Infused - Youth Camp 05

Ok... This is my second draft of my entry on church camp... Had some change in ideas and all so I've decided to rewrite everything. I don't think all those reading would be interested in a activity by activity recount so will blog about the things that touched my heart.

The first night's service: Defuse
Hmm... The sermon spoke to me about things that I didn't want to confront with for a long time. Anger, softening of my heart, sin... I guess it's time to be honest. Anger in my heart towards, him - my father. It's not easy typing it out but yes. After a talk with jeann on sat, I realize that though God spoke to me, it's still a struggle to let everything down. But on that night, it was a relief to cry out the tears that I've been waiting to release.

Hmm... Actually, for the second day's service... I was still dealing with the same issue though the sermon topic was different. But yes, it's hard to let go of something that's so complex. A burden that's been eating at me for so long. Then, there were the war games at night. Hmm... There were some things that I really enjoyed. The unity as a team... Even though we had to go against the other "army".

The third day's morning service: Infused for Impossibilities
Ezekiel 37 - The valley of dry bones.
Ouch. The emotional pain when I recalled the valleys in the past year. And I kind of had an idea of the valleys that I would encounter in the new year. Ouch. My heart can already feel the pain. Yet, God spoke to me and reminded me. There would not be any obstacle that I cannot handle. God would fill me with His Strenght.

Night service: Infused with God's mantle
The whole key point of the sermon or at least the part that impacted me most was dying to myself. Dying to myself. No, it's not a physical action. Rather, it's dying to my rights, my dreams, my ambitions. At first, before the service, I felt that there wasn't really anything that I held onto that dearly... Other than my parents and jonathan, of course. But God spoke to me and asked me, "Would I be willing to not take art as my humanities subject next year?" Ouch. I didn't realize that I held on to that decision, that choice so much. It hurt when I gave up my art lessons and it's always been a regret that I had to give it up. But now, when I could fulfil my dream again and now God's asking me to let it go. It hurt so much. I was holding on to it and took a well to let it go. Even now, if God says not to take art as one of my subject, I will give it up. Reluctantly. I admit. But I will. That really taught me how to give up something close to my heart. But yes, I still have to work hard to improve myself in that area. As you will realize if you read on...

The last day's sermon: Made for mission
I didn't really think I would be as touched by God that day but I was wrong. That shows why God's God. =) When we went for altar call, God spoke to me and gave me my answer to a question that I've been asking for a long time. How did I get into NUS High? My confidence level has been low this year so that question was really uppermost in my mind as some people know... But God answered me. It's because God chose me to be there. That's the reason why. It was by God's will that I got in. So it was really a relief to hear the answer.

Hmm... Due to time constraints, shall end the blog entry. But have you all realized? The entry's only about how God touched me. One or two more things I want to blog about. Dinner after camp and saturday... And lastly, I want to thank several people. Shall blog about it on my MSN space, most likely, ok? Good night.

quizzes... a break from entries

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

hmm... got tagged...

Bah.. Gan jie tagged me... So I have to list down 5 random/weird things about myself...
1. I get moody and feel abandoned when I'm home alone... (believe me?)
2. I can't sleep without listening to a few songs on my MP3 first... (Most of the times)
3. I get hyper without taking chocolate... just the smallest things make me high!
4. I pour honey syrup on the sausage in McDonald hotcake meal.. =) (It's nice!)
5. When I can't sleep, I send random smses to random people... Haha. That's so fun! =)

That's all for now...

Oh ya, I need to tag 5 more people... This is added on... Hmm.. Ok, I'll tag gloria, shao, joseph... Hmm. 2 more. Ok then, Jeann and ... er.. Joshua? I'm feeling random. =p

Back after 2 weeks

Hiya... I'm back after 2 weeks... The absence was because I was grounded. Don't ask about it, ok? Lol... Time to recount my 2 weeks of holidays... Quite a lot to blog about but I'll try to summarize, ok?

8 Nov: Choral nite fund-raising... Haha. Class theme, collared tee-shirt + tie... Haha. "koped" a mickey mouse tie from my dad... was trying to tie the tie the whole night... Lol. Poor doggie. I was practicing on big doggie... Dun kill me, k? [comment directed to glo, kor and gan jie] Oh ya, was talking to gan jie.. Being random. We were sitting on the track and just talking... Lol. Some pple tried to discreetly walk over and er.. check on us. Had to shoo them away. Oops? Anyway, went out ot grab a bite and ended buying maggi mee and er.. walking back from coronation plaza to school... all the while eating maggi mee... =p That's about it for that day...

9 Nov - 11 Nov: Chalet! Ok... it's really too much to blog about but what can I say? It's weird to have ur ex-classmates in a chalet organized by ur close friends... lol. Anyway, it was fun lah... NFSU2. =) Need for speed. Yes kor, i know I'm bad at driving.. But hey, it was fun... The events. Shall just give them names... Ordering McDonalds and getting "stalked", groccery shopping, almost getting strike by lightning, barbeque... all these. all so memorable...

12 Nov: IRS exhibition... Haiz. Was chosen.. Had to wear the "banana" suit... Actually, it's our school blazer. Problem was glo brought shoes for me but it was too big so was walking around in sport shoes... =p haha. anyway, the best part was when the exhibition ended... Could break our board... gan jie joined in too. =) Had lunch with char, deb and gan jie b4 rushing to church... Hmm. was asked to draw a graph of our mood... honestly, the graph was a bit too dreamy? it wasn't accurate.. especially the middle part... like i was that happy... hah. right. those who know me know what I mean. Service.. ok. Here's the highlight of the day... Was worshipping.. Jump jump when it just came to me why I've stopped enjoying para para... Cos subconsciously, I compare the joy i experienced to worship... I'm really most as ease and hyper during worship... Though there are times when I'm also quite hyper... But not in church... More on that later. Had dinner... The girls were commenting on me being quiet... I gave them the answer "I'm always like that"... Ouch. Lying's no fun... But seriously, I'm not like that... Oh well... After a while, I had to join in the conversation... It was getting tiring saying "I'm always like that"... That's for that day...
13 Nov: Parents wedding anniversary... Some memories... that's all I shall say...

The rest of the week was just lazing around... Spending quality time with my mum... Helping her to do "market research"... Lol. Er... there's more to blog about ... But got to go... It's way past my bedtime. I'll blog more tomorrow about fri and sat... Quite a few things to blog about on those two days....

lack of updates for 2 weeks

this blog wil be inactive for two weeks starting from yesterday. I will be uncontactable via hp or email or any other forms of technology, including letter-writing ;), so dun even bother trying. for more information pls contact gloria or huishi...

From, Chermaine

(typed by gloria in case ure wondering)

P.S. we r jking about the last part...so dun take it for real

Crazy me...

Hmm... Time to tell the world how crazy and random I am... =p
Had choral night yesterday but rewind to the morning and the afternoon...
Rehearsals started at 8, ended at 12 plus...
I've been wanting to go to the beach and soak in the sea since don't know when so since there was a break from 12 plus til 5, our reporting time...
I er... went down to Sentosa... Now before that, I must explain that I'm not normal. Lol. But seriously, was wondering if I should go to Sentosa alone cos it seems really weird... But ya in the end, I went down alone.
So took a bus from school to Little India then took the MRT to HarbourFront before taking the free shuttle bus to Sentosa. Went Palawan Beach and er... ya. Soaked in the water. Er.. was thick-skinned enough to ask a stranger to take care of my bag for me... Oops? Anyway... was soaking in the water and just relaxing and singing random songs... mostly Christian songs... They calmed me down quite a bit. One of the most relaxing times ever...
Then after changing, ya, i bought a change of clothes... Went down to the Ferry Terminal and got late lunch... oops? Burger King... Then went back to HarbourFront and eventually school..
After make-up and briefing, choral night... Fast-foward to the highlight of the day.
gan jie, shao and glo gave me this big doggie. -hugs- thanks. that's all for now.. dun feel like blogging anymore. yep

last week of school. mood swings.

Ok, I can't be bothered to tell how my whole week was like so I'll just blog about the highlights.
On tuesday, went Botanic Gardens. Slacked around for 5 hours or so. Pigged out on junk food. Walk around. Talk with friends. Stone. Doodle. Actually, only sketched one pic but it was nice lah.. If only I didn't wear black. The sun was beating down on me as I sketched. That contributed to my tan. :p
Fast-foward to thursday.After school, went Junction 8. Walked around. Gan Jie had a hair cut. She looks even more chio now. Took neoprints... We're getting better at taking and decorating them... Haha. But ya, even as I'm so happy. I can't help but think of what was to come.
Friday. The last official day of school. I was upset. Over results and several other things... I knew my marks all along. But the confirmation... I passed. That much, I should be thankful for. But it's because of moderation. The utter dissapointment in myself. My pride has taken yet another bashing. I was upset. So many times I was on the verge of tears. And I just gave in. I had to resort to hiding in the toilet cubicle to let my tears out before going for assembly. I didn't hide how upset I was and all but I refuse to cry in front of most of you... Then after school, I was really pissed off and upset cause I was running late for piano. I was listening to my newest CD, some chinese love songs and all. And I was on the bus. Gan jie, you should be able to guess what happened. Ah well... To the rest of you, all the best in guessing. Had piano. Cheered up a bit... Was just stoning and slacking the night away...
Saturday. Lit sem. How can I not cheer up? Lol. Watching the plays and all... Lol. I'm getting repetitive but the MOV play was really funny and interesting. And Sly Lock can rap... Haha. So sad. Missed gan jie's presentation. But they chose to go first and never tell us. After lit sem, had some time to kill b4 going for cell so went gan jie's hse. Ate lunch. Watched parts of shows and all. Lol. Then she scare me by exaggerating how long 93 will take to school, that area... Anyway, reached church early. Loitered in manna... Bought something. Eyeing one of the notebooks too. Haha. See how. Might buy...
Cell. Confusion during Gel. Heehee. Played traffic light. But only 1 grp got it. Ah well. Hmm. Fast foward to service. Oops, forgot to mention. Signed up for youth camp! =) =) Me happy! Ok. Back to service. Worship. Wasn't really in the mood to jump or anything. Jumped lah but not as hyper... Announcements and all. Yeh! The new name of the youth ministry was announced. IGNYTE! =) The memories that the word brings back. June conference! Ok. I'm hyper now.. =p Anyway, sermon was about "3 Gifts to God"... Felt so guilty. Been neglecting my TAWG.... Anyway, went for altar call and apologized to God. Forgetting my previous concerns about various issues. Just concentrating on Him alone. As usual, after that, my mood gets better. But I've realized that if I only seek God's presence on Saturdays then of course, I won't grow and in a way, be moodier... So must constantly remind myself to do TAWG. =p
That's all for this week... I think....

Internet & blogging.

First, before I start blogging, let me just write out how I will use my various blogs from now on. Since I have 4 blogs, it gets hard to maintain but I still want to keep all of them so just use them for different occasions.
This blog - my life + christian perspective on how things went?
http://melikes.blogspot.com - mostly for me to gush on about my obsessions...
MSN space - hmm. random topics? will be rather similar to this blog at times... might copy entries over, okie?
Private blog - quite "duh". private. things i want to blog abt without letting others read

Ok. Now shall blog about yesterday. My weekly entry on church and all. In the morning, had secondary school league, bowling... Didn't do very well so shall fast-foward? But quite happy that my mood wasn't affected by my poor performance.

Rushed home for lunch, bath, then went for core group.. er. was late so went in during glorify.. sorry. but ya, really enjoyed it. the cons of skipping church for even one week. Had a quick sharing and testified of how God helped us during exams.. Ya, I can finally cheer up about my results. It's not good but I choose to look at it another way... At least I passed the 50 mark...

Cell.. Hmm.. Gel was fun. growth was a nice reminder to me about several issues... ah well. Fast-foward to service. The p6s joined us! Thus, the chapel was really crowded... Had to sit quite far back.. Nvm lah. It was nice to see the chapel packed. Worship. The usual. -jump jump jump- Yippee! Registration for youth camp starts next wk. Finally... Looking foward to it so much.. Sermon... Er.. "What in the world-wide-web are you doing?" Basically, the Internet. Did a internet addiction test.. Oops. I'm in the middle range.. There were a few other things but was starting to feel guilty... Didn't go up for altar call but was still touched by God.. In the sense that I just knew what I had to do after the service.. Yikes. Tears of guilt. But I needed those tears lah. =)

Dinner. Finally went for dinner as a cell after exams. But the queue and the price of Black Canyon put some people off.. Was tempted to just eat Macs as well. Ah well, could finally get a seat so just joined them at Black Canyon. Ordered hot dog set... Then went to Macs with Kelly to find Jeann and Jo.. waiting for the food to come so was bored...
Finally, food arrived. Actually, it was rather fast but it was just late. After 8. So was hungry... Should not have ordered hot dog. My fries were being eaten.. Lol. Just jkg. It was nice to have dinner and watch all the "entertainment"... haha. Hmm. I'm having a mind block now, can't write much anymore. Ah well, that's it then. But ya, my mood is rather good now.

My week

Hiya. Haven't blogged for quite a long time... So this might be a long entry. Depending on how much time I want to spend blogging and how much time I can spend blogging. I'll be doing a chronological account, okie?
Monday (10/10)
Last paper.. History. It was delayed by 45 min so was talking to gan jie.. The paper then after that... Escape 101. Go read gan jie's blog if you want. But the gist of it was that gan jie didn't feel like going out and in the end, we just stayed on the bus and er... separated from glo and shao... And actually we thought of the escape idea in only 5 min... After that, we convinced them we were going to bugis but we actually went j8 with hui shi's cuz... After that, was just lots of laughter.
Tuesday (11/10)
Didn't have any more papers so didn't go school... Went and visit Vera jie jie, my mum's friend's daughter... But ya, it was fun talking to her. After that, went with my mum to uncle's office for a photo shoot. Lol. Cos my uncle was helping to take pictures of my mum's beaded ascessories. My mum gave me the title of "Art Director". Lol. Was supposed to help think of design ideas so that the pictures would turn out nice. Such as scattering beads next to the products and such. Very fun.. =)
Wednesday (12/10)
Dad took leave too. So brought us to the zoo.. Ok, I was obsessing over the different animals.. Such as the white tigers, mangooses, etc... Dun ask why I like them. My taste is just weird... But it was fun watching the various shows and all. And a lot of walking. So got tired and all. After walking from 9 to 3, just went home and everyone just rested... There are some pictures. Might upload onto my MSN space, okie?
Thursday (13/10)
Dad still on leave. So went Science Centre. Had nice breakfast. Pancakes at Macs. Yummy. Then after that, was walking around looking at the various exhibits. Rather fun. Especially with Jonathan around. Lol. Walked for longer than expected. Dad decided to drive up to JB for lunch. So had lunch before driving to Pasir Ris Park. Interesting how I'm so busy... And how my dad gets all these ideas for family bonding. But it works.. Anyway, picture this. Playground, younger brother, me. I get so childish and start running around and playing with him. More pictures... I might upload.
Friday (14/10)
Supposed to go back to school. But in the end, since my group wasn't selected for choral nite, I was just slacking around. Watching gan jie's group rehearse... Lol. Then after that, grabbed a bite b4 going back to HPPS. Dragged gan jie along. =) Talked to Ms Chiang. Rather interesting. Then I had to rush back to school for CCA meeting. After CCA meeting, went to Coronation. Gan jie still with me. =) Had maggi mee and bubble tea. Then talked for over an hour... Yep, gan jie, we talked that long. It rained heavily outside. That was just random. But to me, it means quite a bit...
Saturday & today
Don't feel like blogging anymore. Gist of things is that my mood took a downward turn.. Dun ask why. I won't tell most people. I've decided not to open up other than to the selected few. and it's really few... That's all. See ya. Bye bye.

bad mood

Before i start blogging the focus of this entry, shall first start screaming at you...
You are really a coward. You didn't dare to look this way. Were you afraid that there's poison? What the... Stupid person. Your friend had to pull you yet you ran away. So pro...

There. I'm done scolding you. Now, to blog about why I was in such a bad mood even before that episode with 'you'. Had maths paper this morning. Haiz. I knew it. I knew it. I knew that I would die badly for the paper. Wouldn't it be ironic if I actually passed my science yet failed my maths? Sighs. Anyway, there's history on monday but i'm really tempted not to study... it'll make me more relaxed... Ahh!!!! I'm so dead. Then again, that's what I've been saying since after the maths paper. While I'm at it, I like to declare that I've got crazy. I'm insane too.. Whee... =) Rite. that's all for now. my nice nice post about my day...

Exams. Stress. Giving up?

Ok. I'm no longer in the mood to blog about each of my paper and what were the questions... So it'll be a rather short summary. Yesterday, English. Today, HCL. Prefer the chinese essay qn. Describe a reunion with your primary school classmates... Lol. English was ... describe a decision you made that led to a positive change in your life. I was so tempted to write about church camp.. but the teacher probably wouldn't approve... So decided to do the safe topic.. GEP. But I had time to write 2 paragraphs about camp. =)
That's the nice part of the exams. Now, it's totally different. I'm feeling stressed out. I'm feeling stressed out. Geog, Lit, Science, Maths, History. Hmm... One word: Fail. I admit my revision wasn't adequate but hey, it gets discouraging when your previous attempts to revise still resulted in fails and you have a track record of not being able to pass a single science test since ... last year? Geog ah. I'll see how much I know.
But revising now would not be wise. I'm not good at mugging the day before.. It makes me scared and even more stressed. But now, I realized, blogging actually gets me more stressed. but i'm too lazy to write in my diary so.. this will have to do.
Oh well, at least I get a one week break til I get my results...
That's all for now. Don't comment, okie? Not if you're going to reassure me... Cause I'm a pessimist now in case you haven't realized...

Sorry.

Gloria, I don't know when you'll read this entry but I feel like I need to say this, "Sorry."
On friday, I was pissed off. About what? I can't tell you. But er.. you should have been able to guess. The badminton session during lunch was just emotion-packed. Each of my serve were all overhead shots, each with my anger in them. My wanting to play with my spectacles off and hair let down. Weird. I didn't give you a normal game. The game was one-sided. All my shots were all overhead. So sorry. It wasn't fair to subject you to my anger... On second thoughts, it might have been. Oops, I didn't say that. =p Lolz. Anyway, sorry..

Wanting to give up.

I don't anymore what you people think after reading my blog entry. So what if I'm depressed? So what if I'm emotional? I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to listen anymore.
It's so tempting to just give up. On everything. Exams. Life. Everything that I hold dear. Relax, I'm not thinking of attempting suicide. It's just that I fail to see why I trusted. I'm tired.
Oh forget it. Please DO NOT comment. I needed to get everything out...

Repeated entry from MSN space

Ok... After that highly bitter entry, there was actually more to come. Piano exam results. It wasn't good. That's all I shall say. But anyway, was playing the piano to try to calm myself down but instead I was crying as I played the piano. Cause in that piano book, there was "Everytime" by Britney Spears, "Don't Cry Out Loud" by ... Can't remember who. So those songs didn't exactly help my mood.
Went into my room and wrote in my diary and it just hit me. Why I've been feeling so down. Why I couldn't find a solution to calm myself down. I've been neglecting God and TAWG. Oops. So I just took out this book I had called "God's words of life for teens". There were the various sections. Anger. Emotions. Forgiveness. Priorities. Stress. I had to read through those, don't you think? The various verses just popped out in the book and I couldn't help but laugh at how I've been so blind.

"Take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." - James 1:19-20

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." - Romans 12:2

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13

"Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sings against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." - Matthew 18:21-22

This two verses on forgiveness were the ones that I had problems with. I know what God says. But yet, it's so hard to follow. To forgive that person seventy-seven times. I've forgiven him more than seven times. And it's fast approaching a high number. The things that he does.

"The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

"In the day of my trouble I will call to you, Lord, for you will answer me." - Psalm 86:7

Anyway, after reading the verses, I felt much better. Felt happier for the first time in this few weeks. Could finally enjoy dinner. Chicken chop and ice kachang. Though, I ended up shivering away. The lady gave me so much ice that it took a while just to finish the ice.

new bloggie: Initial D

yep. the title says it all. because it didn't feel right using a non-christian blogskin for this blog so I decided to come up with a new blog for blogskins and to write about random things like my latest obsession. which is currently initial d.
anyway, go take a look at that blog if you want. no intention of making a tagboard unless there's popular demand so just tag on this blog about the other one, k?
http://melikes.blogspot.com

lolz. gtg. time to surf the net for more info on initial d. =p

Cell outing + Service

Finally in the mood to start blogging about my life. Instead of those depressed ramblings like last time.
Anyway, on saturday had cell outing at Marina. Could only reach there at 11 as I had piano. Reached there and we played catching. Did I mention that I made the mistake of wearing jeans and running in the hot noon sun? =p After catching, lunch, bee hoon. Hmm.. Not bad. After lunch, cleaned up and the girls headed to eloise's house. So it's basically Eileen, Delia, Shu Mei, Helen, Delia, Chelsea, me and of course Elo. After 15 min of waiting for the bus to take to her house, it started raining. And we still needed to walk to her house so we just ran in the rain. Corrections, it was a drizzle at first but each step we took, the rain got heavier. Lol. Went to her house, grabbed towels and went down to the swimming pool showers to bathe. Oops. Then went back to her house, grabbed our bags and went to J8 and took neoprints. After that, rushed to church.
Worship Experience! Yippee! Me hyper! Even though we were so tired from celling outing and all but worship rox, as usual. =) Jolyn was singing.. Sermon and then communion. After that, a bit more worship. During that time, I felt like I was about to cry but no tears came. That's been so common recently. Hmm... Dunno why. After that, just went for dinner with family. Bee hoon and fried noodles with chicken wings. Yummy. 1 1/2 plates. Not bad, but could be better. I think my record's 1 3/4 plates... Lol. I'm really random now. Haha. That's all for now.

Random

Lol. At gloria's house now. Her birthday. And she wants me to blog and since it's her birthday, I shall listen to her. Had lots of laughs just now. Watching legally blonde and eating mashed potatoes.. Lol. Me hyper! Especially since it's saturday. The only sad thing about today is that I had to miss church. Sermon notes anyone? Please. There. There's enough for a blog entry. Happy now, Glo?

14th birthday =)

Lol. For those that didn't know, I turned 14th last night at 11pm. So actually everyone wished me in advance. =)
Shall blog about my birthday before I thank everyone, k? So be patient. =p Had to go to school. Got jigsaw puzzle from glo, shao and gan jie. They lost one piece though. Lol. Creative idea of fixing that.. =) Yah, gan jie got me the dolphin card that I like so much. *smiles* After that, normal school day. Went home, slacked. =) watched DVD. Then met mum and bro at the childcare before going to Pizza Hut. The cheesy pizza's nice. Ate 2 1/2 slices.. Oops. Then collected the mango cake at four leaves before going to aunt's house to cut the cake...
Now, shall blog about the presents. Got most of them rather early though. Let's see, my MP3 was a few months in advance, my nice T-shirt with the Christian saying. =) From my mum and dad. Earrings from aunt, dolphin cuddly from rachel, fish toy from marcus. CD from jose kor. Glo (couz) gave chocolates. Yummy. Dolphin candle holder from fishie. Doggie keychain from han chang. Thumbdrive from another aunt. Notebook and pen from auntie amy. Lots and lots of well-wishes from various people. You know who you are, shan't bother typing it out, k? Unless anyone has any violent objections... =p
That's about it. Shall say "thanks" once more. Thanks. Ok I'm hyper now.. Thus all the smilies. =)

Fyi, this is a copy and paste entry from my msn space. Can't be bothered to type it out again. That's all. =)

Everything.

This is only meant for the reading of you three, hui shi, gloria and shao wen. so everyone else, can i please ask that you all respect that and not read? And no, I'm not naive and believe that everyone will listen but even if you read, don't comment, ok? Please.

Anyway here goes. Even typing this blog entry takes a lot out of me. After reading what gan jie and gloria wrote, I think it's my turn. I guess it's just right to start from yesterday. Yesterday, after seeing your arm, I already started hurting again inside. Your laughter, your treating it as such a joking matter didn't help. Do you know why it hurts us? Not only because you're cutting yourself, but also because we who care for you are powerless to stop you. Nothing we say seems to stop you, the helplessness of it all. I just couldn't take it and broke down during chinese lesson. I pity gloria. I guess, in a way, she was stuck. Hui Shi, when you read this, know that Gloria never approved of it. I suggested telling lao shi before and she stopped me. But I was crying and breaking down, kicking the table and the chair, banging my fist on the table in frustration. That was why she relented and came with me to tell laoshi. Now, for me to explain why I wanted to tell laoshi. I didn't expect much from telling laoshi, it's not like you'll stop. I'm not that naive. I know that once you start, it's hard to stop. But considering the fact that at least laoshi has some authority, I had been hoping that at least she could try to help. I mean, which one is worse? Us trying to talk to your mum or laoshi? At least, laoshi has more chance. On hindsight, it obviously wasn't such a good idea to tell laoshi.
Next, your reaction to it all. You felt that we've betrayed you. Fine, I admit that we did tell laoshi all these private and personal things that you trusted us with. That part, we were wrong. But please, what did you expect us to do? Sit there and watch you cut yourself even more? Do you know that almost everyday, I think of your cuts and feel helpless and cry at least once every week cause the image of your wrist is always in my mind. The cuts in the shape of a "z", the ones that are getting even longer. I can't get them out of my head. I'm too worried about what will happen if one day, things go wrong and accidents happen. I know that we've lost your trust. And I know that it's very hard to regain a person's trust. It takes time and willingness on both parties. So I ask only this of you, give us that chance. Gloria does have a point. It's because of how close we were to each other that's why you feel so betrayed, that's why we're hurting so much inside. No matter how much we've lost your trust, no matter how unwilling you are to be close to us, I ask that you at least let us care for you, to show our care and concern. I still say what I said one year ago, when I smsed you. I remember what you said that you were kind of surprised to hear that from a friend you knew for only a few months. I said that I'll always be there for you and always willing to lend you that listening ear or that shoulder to cry on. It still remains the same.

HPPS.

After "much" thought, decided to retype the whole blog entry about monday and tuesday.
On Monday, had to go to school for national day celebration.. Shaln't elaborate too much. Then after that, rushed down to HPPS with rachel. Had fun talking to the teachers, as usual. And had to convince them to stay for the others.. -cough cough- Anyway, can't resist commenting that some pple didn't even say hi to the teachers before they started to play soccer. Guess that's their real reason for going back to HPPS: soccer. Most of the guys shot up a lot... Sighs. That's about it. Oh ya, saw Zoe and Yi Kai after so long. Had fun talking to them too. =) After that, had to go straight home. But at least could slack for the rest of the day.
Tuesday...
Met Gloria at the MRT Station, went and get the cake, walked around, grabbed a bite at KFC before meeting the rest, Rachel, Lim Yu, Nikki, Sammi, Gan jie, gloria (cuz), adwyn, gabriel, soon yoong, bryan. After a while, took the bus to West Coast, where we slacked, play cards, truth or dare -cringe-, etc... The guys left to play Lan. After a while, Marcus came. Stuck with all girls. =p. Went playground and play. Forced to agree to 2 more dare for gloria (cuz) and sammi's sake. Cos three of us was in this "enclosure" and every1 else started spinning us around. =p they were getting giddy but the others didn't let us out unless i agreed to the above mentioned condition. Sighs. Took a break at Macs before heading back to where we put our things. Govind, Joseph, Gabriel came back and the guys went off to play soccer. The girls decided to play frisbee but in another area. So we just took our valuables and since some of the guys' things were lying all around, we took it with us. Frisbee playing was fun! Our aim was -cough cough- not that good. =p Anyway, was quite fun watching the guys try to take back their things. My family came so had to watch over jon and missed out so much things. Sad. Later, it was supposedly time to eat. Mum told me to serve the guys since they weren't eating.. Sighs. So had to take food to Gabriel and Govind. After that, Gloria came up with such a "great" idea.. Let the guys think of my dare. Sighs. Had to go around asking strangers whether they wanted some food. Lol. Can't believe 2 out of 4 agreed. Aiyah, everything was rather fun lah. After a while, it was really just the girls left. The sun set! View was a bit obstructed but nvm. Still could see the sun set. =) Played hoverdisc with jon jon. =p Got to admit that everything was fun even though i was apprehensive about it at first.
Anyway, as everything is settled, there is no need for me to rebut what adwyn say. Just let the past be the past. =) Just want to add that I got a tan from that day at west coast. Lol. I'm starting to get obsessed with my tan. =p Fyi, I'm in a random mood now. =)

*Blogger's note: This blog entry was continued after a long period of time as blogger was not in the mood. Content was changed to suit the current situation of things.

Festival of Praise! Whoo!

Whee! I'm hyper now. Thanks to yesterday night lah.
Anyway, went Indoor Stadium for Festival of Praise. Was trying to find christabel when samuel saw me. Lol. A bit unexpected. Found bel and was walking around with her, talked to pple from cell, walked around some more, etc. Basically being very random. =)
After 1 hour or so of queuing, finally entered the stadium. Sat behind the stage, south wing. So during worship, had to read the lyrics opposite. Lol. Me and bel both not really in the mood to jump... So ya. After worship was prayer and then sermon. After sermon, bel was trying to persuade her parents to let her go up and join the guys from cell. But her parents don't let so I went up alone. We were hoping that if I go up, Bel's parents might relent. Sad thing was she did come up but only to pass me my bag before leaving. -sniffs- After sermon, was praise and worship once more. Guys, got to hand it to you all. I've seen you all jump during service but yesterday was like "wow!" You all were so hyper that I couldn't resist jumping too! Jump jump jump! -sorry, i'm hyper!- Anyway, I was jumping til my legs started aching so had to stop jumping, for a while only. Anyway, after that, smsed my dad and fortunately, he came and fetched me. So didn't have to take the bus and mrt which would mean i'll only reach home 12 plus. Was still so hyper in the car yet also tired. Mind was working but body wanted to rest... Oh ya, started to lose my voice also.. Sighs. Anyway, fop rox! Wish I went on friday.. -sniffs- Nvm, there'll always be next year! =)

maturing? i hope so...

Let's see what's happened recently.. For those who don't know, I got hit with a yellow disciplinary form for not handing up homework.. Shaln't elaborate too much cos it's not something to be proud of... But ya, realize that i've been slacking way too much and -cough cough- got to swallow my pride.. If you don't get it, then don't bother asking. But ya.. Really regret it but it's too late.
Time to look on the bright side.. I'm not really sure what the adult leaders see in me but i've been asked to join core group. It's kinda weird for me cos i'm usually very quiet and everything so was actually a bit nervous even though i know the people there. But it turned out fine, a learning experience. Similar to the IGNYTE conference for SPs, i too had doubts about that, but everything turned out bery well. Still.. It's like everyone sees something in me but I have no idea what that is. Same for being accepted at NUS High, still trying to come to grasp with that.
Anyway, service rox as usual! But guilt arose in me because i felt that i've dissapointed God through my actions. That form. So was a bit upset with myself, have been for the past few days as well.. But I kind of pushed those feelings away with God's help. I really don't know why but the image of the form being torn up kept going through my mind. The way it was being torn struck me. From the top, down then from the left to the right.. So was kind of like a cross. Reminded me of the play that I watched during SonicFest. The actresses torn up pieces of paper which symbolizes their broken hopes and dreams and paste all the pieces into the shape of the cross. It meant that we should bring our sufferings, our pain, our guilt, to God. So I managed to calm down.
Sermon was by this Pastor Timothy about running after God. Reminds me of last year's camp. The most important thing was about keeping our focus. That's always been my biggest problem, I guess. Went up for altar call. Could feel God's presence but surprisingly, I didn't really cry til after the altar call when we sang "running after you". I could feel the tears coming but I held back the tears and just sang the song as my heart's cry.
That's about it all. I've got to go offline now. Getting tired.

Finally have a chance to blog after 1 week... been either busy or just not in the mood.
Anyway, for the past 3 nights, been going down to Fort Canning for Sonicfest. It rocks! =) Shall elaborate more now! =)
Thursday, met joseph at plaza sing and waited for his friends. Then walked to fort canning. Saw sophia and her friend, annette. So ya, decided to go with them instead of with joseph and his friends. So joseph, no need to apologize for not being a good host, i decided to go with my friends what. Anyway thanks for telling me about sonicfest, it was a very nice experience. =) Interview with planetshakers and then an autograph session. Then soph, annette and I went for this performance in the theatre about love, about suffering. The gist of it was how we get hurt in our lives yet how the answer to our suffering is God. The great love of God. The play talked about about "the pain of suffering, the value of sacrifice." Talking about how when you love someone, you sacrifice all for that person. That play held a lot of meaning for me. That were other ideas discussed in the play like why do we have to suffer even though Jesus died on the cross for us.. The play touched me. Wish that some of my friends were there to watch the play too cos it applies to them as well.. Anyway, next was planetshakers up on stage. The atmosphere was .. Wow! Passion! Ministry brought my level of worship to another level but Sonicfest showed me the passion of others in other churches. During the songs, I was reminded of God's promise to me. Felt more relaxed and happier for the first time in that week. Another joy was to see teenagers so passionate in worshipping God, the experience was undescribable. Sophia and Annette wanted to stay in front so imagine the speakers blasting away, the vibrations so great that you can feel it. And the jumping up and down on the slope. Everything just becomes part of this wonderful experience. In my opinion, the concert ended too early even though it was 10pm liao.. Wanted this to go on.. Nevermind, there would always be friday!
Friday, after history drama, went down to Plaza Sing again. Pulled Gloria along for dinner. Then went to fort canning again for planetshaker and sonicflood's performance. Highlight was of course sonicflood's performance. The familiar songs that I haven't heard for such a long time, touching my heart. I was chao hyper! Jumping up and down! The few places that my mood will always be quite ok, consistent, etc is at home, church and such events. There's this freedom, no need to hide away. Words just can't be used to describe...
Saturday, bowling competition, cell, church. Will elaborate about those on my msn space. so refer there, k? but you'll have to be on my msn contact list. Then after church, grabbed a bite at Macs and rushed down to Fort canning. So sad, the book i wanted to buy was no longer sold... -sniffs- should have bought it the previous days. went for sonicflood's performance. was alone. my choice actually so joseph, just in case u're going to start apologizing, no need. it was nice being alone. i decided to just stand at the back and watch everyone else. besides, was too tired to jump. =[ It was nice to just watch everyone jumping, all united in praising God. At the end, after their last song, everyone was shouting "encore" so we got one more song. A nice way to end everything. Overall, it was a wonderful experience, wishing it could last longer. =p Thanks joseph for telling me about this and helping me get the ticket. Thanks sophia, annette, christabel yeo for being with me on thurs and fri! Had so much fun. =) Still so hyper now. =) Anyway, time to blog on my MSN Space... =p

bubbles.

this blog has been rather abandoned... oops. But it's cos I prefer blogging on my MSN Space. Dunno why though. Anyway, I want to blog about my weekend but feeling a bit tired. So shall blog about my obsession with bubbles. =)
Was at a chalet last night (refer to MSN Space for more details) and was blowing bubbles, bursting bubbles, etc... But when I blew the bubbles, I began to admire the beauty of the bubbles, catching the colours of the rainbow, floating higher then slowly settling to the ground before it burst. Bubbles are so beautiful yet they're almost unreal. They're barely there and easily destroyed. Kind of like our hopes, our dreams, our wishes, our aspirations... To us, we all hold our dreams dear to us, it's perfect, maybe a future that we want or something that we want to do. But yet, the world around us, the people, society seems to destroy this wishes, they make it seem like something impossible. Too many dreams trampled on, hope taken away. But yet, we still continue hoping no matter how many times others have burst our bubble.. That's the beauty of bubbles, our hopes and dreams...

Anyway, what I blogged just now is really random and I barely know what I'm talking about, it just seem to just come out from my mind as i blogged. Interesting, isn't it?

Attempting to be happy.

Changed my layout at long last. Just a reminder to myself that I'll never be alone and that God's always with me. =)

calm before the storm.

the calm is just over. after I finally made up my mind to go NUS High, made the decisions that I have to make, solve most of my problems. Then competition. Get so freaking stressed out. Start criticizing other schools just bcos I don't like someone in there. It's not me lor. I need a punching bad real badly. I don't want to mistreat my piano so I shall not bang on it. Shall just try to cool down. anyway I'm so pissed off due to my stupid bowling score today. I'm getting frustrated thinking about it. I'm so upset. Tears are threatening to come again. I know that I just want to forget that school ever existed and pon this whole week. Then maybe, I can regain enough strength to go back. Who knows? Quartets on thursday. Technically, it can't get any worse... I think. Who knows???

Shall stop blogging before i type in all the things that I feel like saying. which includes 4 letter words that aren't very nice...

Changes...

Been abandoning this blog... So sorry. Just didn't have the mood to blog here anymore.
Anyway, just a quick update of my life. NUSHS results still not out yet. I entered the school team for bowling.. not very confident. History drama next fri... that shud b quite ok... Oh and my friends are bullying me. That's about all. =p

Updating...

If anyone actually notices... Just updated my wishlist, goals and dislike column.
starting to know myself better, i guess.. Feel like just being random in this entry so bear with me, k? If you can't, then you can always choose not to read this blog, u noe?
Anyway, realized a lot of things about myself and already starting to worry about what that will mean... Aiyah, dun feel like writing thoughts down here, so that's all for now...
Might abandon this blog temporarily... Will be busy.. Got some things i need and want to do first...

Youth Conference! IGNYTE!

Woohoo. I'm finally online after 3 days. Been going to church and spending more time there than i've been at home. From wed to fri, been staying there from around 9am to 9pm.. Not bad, ain't it? Anyway, shall write a long entry about the youth conference cos it rocks! Yep, i'm hyper in case u didn't realize!! =)

Tue Nite
Concert only for Passion! Minisstry youths. It was a good start to the IGNYTE conference! The sermon talked about now being a time for Divine Confrontation and talking about sin... That was the really freaking part about how things that the youths of this generation think as normal is actually worshipping of other gods like Baal.. Cutting of yourself, abortion, witchcraft, pornography... i noe not all youths think of these as normal but all these is actually an indirect worship of other gods.. Didn't realized it till now.. Then the altar call was about choosing our allegiance. Whether we are going to stand with God or not, there should be no neutral party cos that's equal to siding with the devil.. Ya.. made me realize that I should really make my stand.. Thanks to the concert, was hyper when I went home.. Couldn't sleep til 11 plus, 12...

Wed
IGNYTE conference. Was supposed to be for SPs, leaders.. But guess some of us were invited.. And i still don't really understand why. But nvm. it was fun and i learned quite a bit. The workshop was really educational, talking about how to nurture others, makes me really wish that i could have signed up for the previous SP course but due to conflicting schedules.. Sighs.. Nvm. There'll always b the next one..

We were split up into groups for lunch and for games.. Had to bribe hannah tan to eat the honeydew.. Lol. The games were quite fun, i guess. The one where we were blindfolded was a bit scary cos we climbed up and down stairs, etc... then the victory dance was really funny. seeing the whole group do those actions. still laughing whenever i think about it.. but ya.. enjoyed myself.. something i didn't think was really possible since i'm not really close to the SPs, leaders, etc... expected to felt out of place but in the end, everything turned out quite ok..

Dinner at adam hawker centre.. Finally, a break from Macs. =p Then went for prayer meeting. Sermon was about building a house of Godly influence by arming ourself. sighs.. realized how much i haven't been arming myself.. not reading the Bible consistently.. And letting other things take up so much of my time... Like the computer.. I know i'm on the computer now but at least I'm blogging about the conference so ya..

Thur
More games.. Morning devotion... Lunch. Coming up with cheers. Then the games stations.. Some were kinda gross.. the sticking of masking (spelling?) tape to your feet and then later pass it back to the adult leader and they were to be recycled.. and yes, we were all barefooted.. Balancing of marble between ur nose and your lips... and doing funny actions.. Captain ball with ping pong ball, stealing from other teams if you can.. Lol. directing your team mate who's blindfolded to retrieve coloured balls without using words.. so imagine all the sounds that we had to invent.. Then the trying to burst balloons tied around opponents's ankle while defending your own.. Time flew when we were having fun..

Met glo and shao at macs for dinner... Too bad chloe had to rush for.. Shao almost killed me, i guess... But luckily, i survived.. Unfair pple, bullying me.. purposely planned my b'dae present 2 mths in advance.. Making me suffer from curiousity. Hmph. Met kenneth, glo's team mate from the nus camp then went back to church for the concert.. Everyone was so hyper.. atmosphere was so .. suitable? But ya.. The happiness that comes from worshipping.. can't describe it with words. anyway, jerry from singapore idol came as a special guest.. Sang 2 songs and kinda shared his life story..

Then the sermon.. had to try not to smirk cos some of the content seemed to fit kor so nicely.. but ya.. shao never accpept God as her Lord and Saviour.. until... to be continued.. i went up for altar call without glo and shao and just longed for the fire of God.. As usual, full of energy after that and was jumping in front.. leaving shao and glo on their own after that... there was this adult who kept talking to shao and when i went back to my seat.. turns out shao said "yes" to receiving God.. but i knew it couldn't be that way.. so later.. after asking shao.. she said "yes" only to keep the adult quiet.. Only shao can do something like that. felt like laughing and hitting my head against the wall at the same time...

Fri
morning devotion.. one quote i feel like throwing in.. "love doesn't make the world go round, but love is what makes the ride worthwhile." the pastor shared this cos he was talking about 'IGNYTE your Passion!" About remembering your first love, God. Repent and Revival.. The repent part especially spoke to me... Oh the illustration about vertical passion for God and horizontal compassion for souls... Interesting... And reminds me of what i haven't been doing.. altar call.. meaningful. But only now do i realize that there are still things i haven't let out..

The workshops... signed up for "Believe it or not- facts, fiction, faith" and "It only takes a spark". You probably can guess the content of the workshops from the title but shall elaborate.. Believe it or not was talking about how do we noe what is real. A bit of discussion about the Da Vinci Code which is a fiction in case u didn't noe.. Most things in there are really just lies.. But ya.. Went for a quick lunch then came "It only takes a spark". Talks about relationships, crushes, etc... Differentiating infatuation (crushes) from love... Shall not list down everything but ya.. the course was interesting.. but also impactful... i guess? If you want to know more, i still have the notes... but dun want to just throw everything in here.. it'll be quite a lot.. Rounding up of the conference..So sad.. wanted this to just continue.. there was this satisfaction in just doing this for so many days... Being in church, learning about God.

Dinner. At Macs again... Then later.. a minor food fight.. with fries.. Lol. Actually, me and delia started it... I didn't throw anything but watched and laughed away… and ya.. prompted delia to continue.. oops.. dun kill me after this, k? walking back to church.. full of jokes and laughter.. Then the concert.. I didn’t feel that hyper compared to thurs.. dunno why though.. jerry came again.. Hannah, Chelsea & Christabel decided to shout "We love you, Jerry!" … Lol.. Laughing away lor.. Sermon was about the fire of God.. The sense of urgency.. the never knowing when the people around you would die.. and then you’ll realize you missed a chance to tell them about God.. A lot of things was said.. But after the altar call, I became high.. Really hyper.. jumping about.. and everything.. but it was a nice way to end everything….

Sat
Youth service cancelled cos youths serving for Parent's day.. responsible for giving gifts to the parents... Then the sermon.. The times that i felt like punching the wall.. felt like crying. past memories... The sermon was about Leadership in the Family thru serving others.. Serving with heart of love, effectively giving, serving with fervent prayer... Altar call.. God just spoke to me.. The past came back.. things i didn't realize all seem so clear.. I cried.. The sorrow in my heart.. Thanks for the support, gals.. My frenz realized my sorrow.. Their encouragement and comfort warmed my heart.. Didn't expect so many of them to care.. but ya. realized that i've been fed lies by the devil.. But after my own problems, the friends around me too broke down.. Why? Why is it that happiness never last long.. Things got emotional.. Dinner, sambal stingray, sambal sotong & kangkong.. some of them felt like eating chilli so ya.. brought it to macs and ate outside.. the mood was weird.. sometimes laughter, sometimes anger. walking back to church.. opening up our hearts.. but still.. i noe that the problems that each of us face are still there.. hopefully, with God's love and His strength, we can get through all this. And we must really open up to each other.. jo & bel, if u ever read this, you'll understand.. there are still things we're not telling each other, that i'm sure of.. but let's help each other, k?

P.S. sorry about spelling, grammer, punctuation.. had to rush thru this over 2 days... lack of time.. some things r vague, i realized. no time to elaborate. sorry.

Holidays

Been busy so haven't been blogging.. Even now, I'm supposed to be finishing my holiday homework but have to do a quick entry first, k?
5-7 Jun
Stayover at my dad's house with my cousins. Basically just slacking away playing PS2, computer games, gameboy advance sp and television. Had most fun dancing away and maintaining my previous standard? Really miss the arcade, i guess. So was just slacking. Normally slept at 2,3 in the morning.. Then wake up at 10 or 1... yep. I woke up at 1 in the afternoon on one day. =p

8 Jun
Went over to auntie's hse and watched dvd with another cousin. Then later, she brought me for karaoke with her friends. That was fun. Surprisingly, i knew most of the songs even though it was mostly chinese. Started singing at 7:30pm and ended at 10:45pm? Not bad... Want to elaborate more but due to time constraints... Maybe some other time.

9- 10 Jun
NUS camp at Science Centre... Shalln't write much about it though.. Had to report at 8 in the morning.. We were all splited up... "We" referring to the 5 of us in our class that applied. So went and sat with my group. The usual division between guys and girls.. So our group was quite quiet? Had some chemistry activities first in the lab.. Then after that a break... Then more science activities.. Lunch, then the building of a rocket.. Trying to launch it and everything... Then got briefed about the take home experiment.. At first, everyone found it hard but in the end, most of us either discussed online or ask parents, etc.. And finished the experiment.
The second day was math and biology activities. The math activity was a bit hard.. But we managed to get some answers. Then the biology race was fun. Our group beat the fastest timing by 5 mins... =) But had to wait til the end before knowing whether we won or not.. =( Then there was the preparation for the presentation of the take home experiment. That was quite funny.. One of the guy had this unique presenting style, problem is there was a lot of flaws in his presentation.. Oh ya, our mentor was kind enough to treat us to ice cream after lunch. Anyway, prize presentation. Our group won 2 prizes.. Surprise, surprise. We only expected to win one. =) So that concluded the whole camp. Dunno how was my performance in the camp... Shall have to wait and see whether i get in or not.. I really dunno whether i want to enter nus or not.. See how lah.

11 Jun
Piano lesson, cell outing, service.
Cell outing was fun, went west coast park. loitered around then later went orchard to take neoprints. only the girls went lah. spent around $40, plus minus a bit... Then rushed back to church. Sermon was about family.. At first i thought it didn't relate to me.. I mean my family is quite happy and not much problems.. Until... I thought about my father... Those who know my family story would know what I mean.. I started being a bit moody. Thinking about why I didn't try to spread God's Word to my father. Could it be because of what happened? And i still beared a grudge.. I really didn't noe.. Had to go out to altar call and just release all possible anger once again. Felt better after that. Went manna and bought a cute doggie bookmark.. The bible verse should help encourage myself.. =)

12 Jun
Went for lunch with relatives... Then later went orchard road. window shopping.. but ended up spending $50 on a skirt and a top.. White skirt.. Quite innocent?? Then the top... well.. wouldn't bother describing it. Had fun walking around with my relatives lah.. Looking foward to another trip to orchard but this time, only with my mum. =) Oh ya, found out jonathan had chicken pox. So he and my mum will be staying at home with me. Good. I won't be that lonely then. =)

Enjoying myself? I hope so.

Hmm.. Realized my blog entries have been a bit serious so this one shall be quite carefree and humourous?
Yesterday, CIP... Hmm... Went around asking people to donate money. Flag Day mah.. Then realized that I'm actually more thick-skinned than I thought.. Actually dared to go up to strangers and asked for donations, regardless of gender, age, race, etc... Warmed up quite fast and got quite a bit of donations. Then after a while (1hr or so) , took a break. Needed a sugar boost. So got some milo then it was straight back to work.. Started at 8 and only stopped at 10 plus for a half an hour break. then went around in the hot sun in the middle of orchard road to get more donations..
After that, met up with HPPS gals. Teresa, Nikki, Fishie, Sammi and Melody. Mel's not from HPPS but she came along anyway. Had lunch. Walked around. Memories came back... Cos we walked past Famous Amos and a little booth that sold those personalized gifts.. Yep, primary school memories just can't seem to fade. Played cards. Tempted to go into arcade courtesy of someone.. But ya, restrained myself. Had to admit though, quite sure I can still play at my previous standard.. =P a bit egoistic, i have to admit. Then watched Monster-in-law. Had a good laugh, something i really needed.
After that, walking from Cineleisure to Taka...That was a laugh... Thanks to Sammi and Fishie, there was quite a interesting conversation about er... forget it. Anyway, the discussion was whether it was hygenic or not.. About at least marrying for the experience of having it. Basically, the conversation consisted about all these and more... But to have this conversation in the middle of Orchard Road... Lol. It was funny lah. But had to pretend not to know those two...
Then walked around in Kino for a while, looked at books, anime, manga, etc.. Went Kalms and started looking at the cute Tatty Teddys.. Sammi was going crazy about it lor... =) Then joined them for a quick dinner then headed for family carecell.
For gel, my mum asked us to do some personality test and guess what? I managed to predict my results quite well... I mean, I guess i would be quite in the centre.. Turns out I'm an introvert but my second strongest is that i'm an extrovert.. Interesting, isn't it.. Anyway, the strengths of the introvert was supposedly suffers in silence? as a wife, would listen to husband.. rite.. that is so not me lah. Faithful, guess so. Diplomatic? Nah. Got good insights. What a joke.. Good to have in "conflict"? Not sure.. Weakness for an introvert was fearful, unmotivated, indecisive...Quite true. Very slow to get their thoughts out.. Depends. very compromising... Yep. I think so. Got will of iron. At times. Quite stubborn way. Sometimes. Need external motivation. Yep. Guess I'm really phlegmatic then. =)

Me...

Been wanting to blog these past two days but didn't get the chance.. Dunno whether anyone ever checks my blog liao but doesn't matter. Shall still blog..
Anyway, on Monday, my mum brought Jonathan and I to MacDonalds. Yep, it was to pacify Jonathan cos he was crying away. Anyway, after that, when we came out of Mac, someone called my mum and I was just standing there looking towards the sky... Then this whole calmness just came over me.. I mean the sky was getting dark as it was late evening, the sun was setting so the sky was just this whole sea of colours. At that moment, everything seemed so tranquil, I could forget everything that's been bothering me lately.. But had to snapped out of that mood soon lah... But now, it makes me want to just chill out and enjoy nature more than ever.. So maybe.. Mite make a trip to the beach soon. =)
Oh ya, one more thing that I wanted to blog about.. Rewind to Sunday... The Sunday Night movie was Armaggedeon.. When watching it, this question came to my mind.. If you knew that today would be your last day to live, what would you do? Interesting question? Sighs... Anyway, recently, been watching too many shows that all make me start having the attitude that we should treasure every single day of our life. I mean, we'll never know how long we live.. Sighs. Don't ask why recently I've become reflective.. It's freaking me out too but already getting used to this new side of me..
P.S. Realized that I don't sing songs to myself only when I'm down like what Gloria said, it's also because sometimes, I'm just reflecting on something. Interesting revelations about myself! =)

Reflections... masks.

Haven't blog for a week or so. Just wasn't in the mood. But now. Finally got something that I really want to blog about.
Yesterday, the first day of the school holiday. But everything seemed normal. Went for CSP then went home, mum treated the family to high-tea at Conrad Hotel then rushed for service..
Masquerade. Worship, the energy just wasn't there. Something felt lacking... Then anyway, later watched the short skit put on by Brother Kah Fei, Sister Stella and Sister Corinna.. It really spoke to me. Putting on masks so that we would be liked by others, so that we would be accepted. Then they sang "Reflections" from Mulan...

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehowI will show the world what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

The lyrics, something that I was so familiar with due to my interest in Disney but now, for this time, the lyrics was familiar in a different way, being able to understand the lyrics... Guess that's why I play "Reflections" whenever I'm dissappointed in myself...
After that, the sermon... Shall just summarize it. Basically, Pastor Darrick talked abou the reasons people wear masks and what wearing masks will lead to eventually... Weariness, superficial relationships, hurt- to yourself and others.
Now, the real purpose of my blog entry.. to ponder on what was said and give my opinions, my feelings.. I have been putting on a mask to most of the people around me... Not all, but most.. What Pastor Darrick said was true.. I have been turning weary already. And I guess that's partly the reason why I want to go to NUS, to start anew, to be me and not care anymore what others think.. But now, the current situation, I realize that even those close to me, I have been putting on a mask in front of them. I have realized that I should stop doing that but that's easier said than done. Removing the mask along would be hard but living a life without the masks would be harder. I know the situation that will occur and I dread it.. But guess what? I have no choice. I've given my life to God and I will follow his Word. So maybe this is the right time for a new start, this is what I've been waiting for... Only time will show.

Insults

Just came back from Dunman High.. Had some drama enrichment talk there. Anyway, was very pissed off at some guy in the morning before I left for Dunman... He should be thanking his lucky stars that I didn't make a scene at Dunman, cooled down liao. But anyway, can't understand why some people make false accusations without any proof, I mean.. look at that guy's tagboard. Insulting gan jie like that when he doesn't know anything. What the **** lah. One last note to say about all those supporting that guy, make sure you get the facts first before deciding whether or not to support that guy... Too pissed off to blog much liao...

But on a lighter note, saw Yi Kai and Zoe at Dunman today.. Finally, after so long lor.. Then the whole talk was really quite dull.. Was being entertained by kor kor.. Couldn't stop laughing along with gan jie.. =) Not much to say liao. That's all folks.

Public Speaking Competition

Ok. Shall try to address some of the things that have been raised throughout this whole time.
First, it was wrong of the people to criticize the emcees for cutting people off. Could you people just understand the logic behind that? And when they try to defend themselves, you start insulting them and calling them names. Can you people put yourself in their shoes? Why is it that it is only some ACS(I) people who criticize the emcees? You don't see people from other schools like RI, Dunman High, etc criticizing, you know?
Due to time constraints, can't blog anymore. Got to let gan jie blog liao..

New blogskin

Hope my new blogskin doesn't seem angsty? Just wanted something with a nice sunset. Looks quite ok except for that surfer there but nvm, it's still quite nice. =)
Tired. want to slack. Thing is, i think i've just been banned from using msn. Dun ask why, k? Which probably means half of u all will start pestering me.. Nvm. Gtg.

Clothes

It hit me recently that each time I put on a different set of clothes, I seem to change.
Can you picture me in a childish t-shirt with shorts and sandals?
I mean, most of my friends see me wearing either the school uniform, or top plus jeans and sports shoes. Can you picture a casual side of me? A side that wants to go back to childhood days, enjoying swings, playground, etc.
I mean, just try comparing me in school uniform and a t-shirt + jeans. There's like a world of difference already. So does the person change the clothes or does the clothes change the person?

Anyway, clothes aside, been in a fairly ok mood these few days. Had fun going out with frenz on sat after sports meet. Went j8, walked around, went kfc then swensens followed by neoprints. Lol, got michael and elisha to take neoprints with us. More details, refer to hui shi's blog. But ya, it was quite fun lah. Only downside was that I missed service but nvm, will go this saturday.

Not much to write about now, not in the mood? Got to go.

Gep events...

Got to do a very quick summary about the day’s events…
Let’s see. I’ll just fast forward to the public speaking competition.
Bah, I dislike all these gep events.. Each time I entered, let’s say the audi, I have 2 try to not look around, be oblivious of the people around me. Anyway, it was rather funny today lah.
Can’t deny the fact that these events caused me lots of embarrassment (?), it provides a lot, a lot of laughter. Yep, was trying 2 control my laughter throughout the competition thanks to the interesting “show” by some people in the auditorium. Anyway, noticed a trend in the presenting style of guys. They tend to use a lot of self-flattery? Shall not mention the names of the school in case it gets too sensitive and the people can’t take the criticism. Pity Glo and Hui Shi who had to be the mc and cut people off half-way… That’s not a nice job but hey, someone’s got to do it. Due to time constraints, got to go. Might elaborate further later? Depends.

Recap.

Finally, some time to really blog. Been occupied so haven’t been blogging. Quick summary of what happened over the long weekend.
Saturday
Walkathon in the morning from school to SMU. Sighs. Not what I want to do on a sat morning, Wasn’t in the mood lah. Just wanted to stay home and rest but hey, wishes don’t come true.
Walkathon over, body combat at SMU. I think I need a punching bag liao. Quite “fun” to just punch/kick the air. Then after that, go home lah, what else?
Went home, rest then go church. Cell. Service. My mood that day wasn’t very good so I guess was a bit quiet and didn’t take part in teasing Brother Kah Fei. Shall help them next week. Then for service, it was “Straight Talk with Pastor Darrick and a mystery guest”. A lot of comic relief lah. All the cues on the screen to tell us to “applause”, “thundering applause”, “lol”, “rofl”, etc.. Due to lack of mood to continue to blog about service, shall stop now. All I have to say that it was really meaningful and helped a lot.
Sunday
Not much to blog about. Other than the trip to Mount Faber after dinner. Just went there and admire the night view of Singapore. It’s not the nicest but hey, at least it’s something. Just letting the wind blow, I was so contented at that moment. I mean, moments before, hearing my favourite Disney songs on the radio then the cooling breeze. I felt I went back in time to primary school when I was so carefree. Enjoying these simple thing so much. Sighs. I really need to just chill out more. And I don’t mean slacking in front of the computer screen. =p

Been occupied

This few days, haven't been blogging much. Just not in the mood but since today, my mood quite ok, shall do a quick entry.
Saw my mum for the first time in days. Me happy! Then later, mum surprised me with all the nice things that she bought for me from bangkok. Good taste, mummy. A lot of the items, i really liked lor. So ya, was bouncing around the whole house like a kangaroo..
Today ar.. hmm. quite ok lah. survived the day. so proud of my doodling in my notebook.. very random but looks quite ok when highlighted. Mum was home! someone to talk to instead of facing the com screen whole day.
Anyway, got to rush out lit liao. gtg

Plain... don't blame me.

Based on what I said earlier in previous entry, blog entries shall now be dull and boring? So be prepared.
School today, like always. During recess, rushed to edit video but failed. Showed tv ad to class.. Most of them dun get it but hey, it's a home made production? Then body combat (also known as aerobics)...
Oh yes, did i mention that I'm falling sick? How nice... Dun u agree?
That's about it.

Rash decision...

Referring to my previous blog entry, I don't think that I will really abandon my blog. It was a very spur-of-the-moment comment.. However, I still believe that this blog would no longer be able to let me reveal my feelings, my thoughts. This blog used to be my outlet but no longer...
From now on, I will still blog, maybe as often, maybe less. But one thing is for sure, there will no longer be any more of those blog entries with lots and lots of emotions. The entries will just be an account of whatever happened and maybe some views not on non-sensitive issues like the weather.. One example of such entry.. "School was fine, like always, lots of homework, that's all"
Don't say I didn't tell u guys in advance, k?

Maybe i should...

Hey pple who read my blog... just to let you guys know.. I might abandon this blog... Realized that everything i write here will be read and commented on. The purpose of me having the blog is to be able to just write what I want about my day, my life, my thoughts. But now, I'm actually filtering what I write, omitting thoughts that I want to put down as I'm too concerned about what the reaction will be. You can say it's my fault for letting people know about this blog, you can say that I'm the one who minds the comments, fine. I won't disagree.. It was my own doing.
So it'll be my own choice if i want 2 abandon this blog.

Saturdays... my favourite day in the week??

Let's see.. The usual routine of saturdays.. Piano lesson then come home, slack/do homework then go for cell followed by service.. Thanks to cousin, the routine was almost broken. Was invited to go for some crossfire paintball thing but last minute, turned out that I wasn't of the required age limit.. 14! Bah... a few months more.
Anyway, went to cell.. turns out wasn't the lastest.. then went back downstairs to meet the rest of the girls, elo, eileen and delia. Yah, most of them wore skirts too.. so wasn't the only one.. =) Anyway, cell was ok lah. it's fun, something i look foward to every week. After cell, service, the usual.
Worship was very energetic and just wanted to just be part of that awesome energy.. result of Passion! Ministry's passion for God, i guess. So jumped lah.. but wearing skirt so after a while, couldn't jump liao.. Not going to wear skirt again... Prevents me from jumping.. =(
Then later, after announcements/offering time, worshipped again.. But could sense that I was being distracted. So hard to clear my mind and focus solely onto God, was praying for distractions to cease and after a while, managed to worship God with all my focus on him.
Sermon.. Talking about "God, up close and personal." Realized that I've really been lacking in that area of trusting God and being humble. Was feeling guilty lor. In a way, I guess I've been like that kid in the story that Pastor B. told.. Been telling God what to do instead of letting him work in my life. Went for altar call and just pray to God and just remembered all the times in the past and just wept. Asking for God to come into my life. Just submitting to him once again. The fire in me that was ignited during camp had started to die down once more.. It's so hard to try to maintain the burning desire to run after God. So ya, was just praying for God to come into my life and just lead me. I've been facing problems in making some decisions and now have decided to just let God guide me. Even though right now, I still haven't made my decision or there hasn't been any signs as to what to do, right after just letting go of my worries, I felt calm, something I haven't felt in quite some time. Then was energetic again. Hyper me!
Anyway, after service, went to Macs with the girls in cell with the exception of Jeanette, Elo, Bel... Just sat there and talk and laugh our heads off. It was a nice change lah. Maybe this is what I've been needing to cheer me up? Just relaxing away.. As in really relaxed. =) That's about it for now lah. Got to do my work since i'm in a good mood now. and actually can focus on my work.

Weird how songs can pull up and bring down my mood..

Today, sports meet at yio chu kang stadium... Temperature started getting a bit high so me and glo left half way... Believe that we pon? Rite... Anyway, we left early for irs lah.. Had to go to dolphin lagoon again to watch the training session. Reached there and saw big tour groups there... Bah! They crowd up the whole place. But managed to find a good spot to film the whole training performance, thanks to my height (sorry if i'm being ego)... and the raised platform helped too. Then after that, persuaded glo in letting me just loiter at the beach for a while..
I know that was being wu liao just wading into the sea but hey, my element is supposed to be water... If anyone had saw me, they would have think i was being lame.. Just wading into the sea... wearing berms??!! and just walking along the coastline with the water up 2 my knee level. Btw, it was high tide so berms got wet then flded higher... in the end, i heck care liao and entered the water til the water was like way above knee level, while still wearing my berms.. Found a seashell =) quite nice. It was just so tranquil there yet wished that i could just swim into the sea without worrying abt my berms getting wet.. To stay in that moment forever, just thinking about everything and yet, nothing.
Thank goodness i remembered to bring a change of clothes so changed into jeans and then made a quick trip to underwater world b4 rushing to tampines to meet shao. Met shao and then went to glo's hse... Slacked for a while then met vanessa and rachel at the busstop and brought them to shao's hse...
Here's the funny part. we were trying to film a tv ad for the public speaking competition so trial run a few times... There were so many bloopers... yep, my fault. it was too hard to try 2 control our laughter cos some of it was just plain funny. shaln't elaborate anymore.. But anyway, a lot, a lot of laughter... then glo actually taped down some of these bloopers without me knowing lor... sighs... lol but it was fun.
Went popular b4 heading to auntie's hse and saw.. Yep, the hai tun wan lie soundtrack... I want! Time to start skipping recess and lunch just to save up... Then headed to auntie's hse, played with jonathan, ate dinner, watch hai tun wan lie then went home. On the way back.. listening to mp3 player then some of the songs wanted to make me cry and that didn't make sense.. cos it's songs by jay chou, "an qing" and "kai bu liao kou".. I shouldn't b able 2 relate to "an qing" but strangely i did, even though i haven't went through that... Refer to the lyrics of the song to know what i mean... Aiyah, i was thinking about him lor.. that isn't fair... I want to forget him but that's not possible cos i see him too often for my own good.. Not my choice..
Shall not dwell on him and give him that much credit. bah. Choose not to like him and will keep by that. as long as i dun think about the past. memories, both good and bad.

Life is good and bad. You know it can never be
perfect and that it never have been, and you're
fine with that. You still feel it's important
to live life since it can end any day and not
sulk because of some little failure in life.
You are often a happy person, still you don't
laugh all the time. You have a somewhat calm
aura and most people feel comfortable around
you.

How do you see life? .::minor update::.
brought to you by


Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you are sympathetic and raise
others above yourself. Being as kind and
good-natured as you are people have most likely
hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up
every time. You may look fragile but you are
stronger than most tend to see. Life is
beautiful no matter how you look at it and you
understand that people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. You truly have a
beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.

.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by

No thanks to kor... I like the quizzes too much and start doing them every few days... The pics are really nice and the answers are quite accurate. But anyway, about today... Not much 2 blog about, was in quite a ok mood? Til the last few lessons at least.. Was very tired then got a bit snappy, moody? Hope i didn't offend any1. Tell me if i did, k? Oh yes, tomorrow going Sentosa again... Get to leave yio chu kang stadium early... *gloats* couldn't help it. Bcos of irs have 2 go watch the training session also. Time 2 spend lots of cash just on admission ticket... So not worth it... But nvm, it's for the dolphins.. =) Dolphins are nice!

Happiness at last?

Ok, so i admit... mayb my msn nickname isn't that accurate. Been slacking too much trying 2 find a blogskin... But from now, shall try my best to work hard even though it'll be hard on me... I stopped doing that since primary school? Anyway, like my blogskin? It was either this or a dolphin one which i kept for next time. =) will save me lots of time. Gtg and start on homework before watching hai tun wan lie later at 730... that show rox!
Bb

Slacking..

Now in ITE, shall complete my previous unfinished entry... Anyway, yesterday was so stressed out about lit homework and just blanked out and decided not to do my homework. And just slack the whole night away But my mood improved a while after some MSN convs... Yes, people if u talk to me yesterday, you would know who you are. I was laughing away at the discussing of some stereotypes... And also at some of the comments made. So cheered up quite a bit. That person, thanks even though I know that it was not ur intention to cheer me up but thanks anyway. Now hoping that the dialouge session later wouldn't b so bad, but i doubt it...
Anyway, a random question, what is it with guys and answering question? only meant to point at one person... But ya, stop evading the question lah, stupid guy... Oops, shouldn't insult it but it's getting me frustrated. Oh yes, a bit more elaboration on my "emotional problems" as mentioned in my nickname...
In school, I was distancing myself unconsciously from my friends but in a way, that did me some good... Found some new people to hang out with and talk to... Latest obsession during recess and lunch break.. Badminton, still using the badminton racket that yi kai gave me in primary school. But it works well. Have improved a bit since monday... so proud of myself. =) Me happy... Anyway, the prob problems at school is no longer that bad so I'll survive , i guess for now... Er... then for problems not related to school, like church, crush/s, etc...
Let's se... Shall I elaborate? I think I shall be a bit more vague... for obvious reasons. In church, I belong more, i guess but at times, if my closer friends don't come, I'll start feeling a bit lonely? But that's natural lah... rite? Then for crush/s, I really don't know how to explain...
Let's see. I really can't tell whether I like that person... maybe make that two, even if you say I'm a two timer or what, i dun care. I'm not even involved in a relationship, I'm just trying to make up my mind. Samantha, you should understand the best. You went through this once , didn't you? =p Ya but anyway, it's confusing lah.. I dun really want to care about this kind of problems anymore... After all, fairytale endings only happens in the movies so no point worrying liao and getting all frustrated over guys... I agree with some, there are more interesting things in this world than all these problems, right? I can't believe I'm saying all these... Weird for this to come from me, isn't it?
That's all for now, can't think of much to blog about liao...

Wuliaoness and infiltration... how's that?

Oh yes... huishi thinks cherm is very wuliao and huishi loves irritating cherm with her nice blogskins. HAHA. ~Courtesy of Huishi~
meffle ~Courtesy of Shao~
cherm shall get killed today! ~Courtesy of Glo~
AND YAY, WE ALL PASSED OUR CSP ASSESSMENT!!! CHINATOWN HERITAGE CENTRE ROCKS!!! YAYAYYYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHA! chermy no chance to blog yet ~Courtesy of all three of them~
Finally, i get to type... Those 3 were being random and just typing away... Bah. Anyway, flashback to yesterday... No thanks to ****** who had to pile us with so much hw and then tell us that tmr (today) would have dialouge session... Anyway, got to go for flag raising liao. blog later.
(wuliaoness has the same concept) we're being wuliao yes?(you were supposed to be being random too wadd)muahaaa ~Courtesy of HuiShi~
Irritating chermy is fun...=))))
buaibuai
Gtg

Mood- Depressed, down, etc...

Strange that my blog entries now all tend 2 b filled with angst and depression? Guess I don't bother blogging unless there's something bothering me, which is quite often. Let's continue from Saturday... Carecell and service.. nothing unusual, rite? Just in case any1 from church does read my blog, so shall not blog much abt my thots... The sermon though was ... relevant? cos some of it really applied to me lor... But my mood was quite ok thanks to some close? friends in church, but wasn't the best of moods due to something... Yes, I shall b vague for obvious reasons...
Sunday, generally ok day lah. Went bowling with cuz then headed 2 dad's hse.
Me and cuz was like trying 2 improve our "dancing" skills.. So long never play PS2 dance dance revolution liao... but still rather average. then cuz was like "u're a born dancer..." where got?? I consider that day's performance quite bad lah... But the problem with playing is that i get tempted to go 2 the arcade and play the real one... Want to see if all this practice helps... Sighs...
Today... Guess the lowest in terms of my mood. Was rather quiet and just kept 2 myself, something that i really dun do often. To do that would b scary as i'm normally hyper, talkative, sociable, etc... Today was just the opposite.. I guess i need a distance around me.. A barrier, some might say. I dun blame you three, it's my fault this time, I've drifted away. Not a conscious effort but still... It just comes naturally liao. I no longer want 2 care, i'll just live through life... I'll just go along with the flow, seeing where this drifting leads me. But it's nice 2 know that no matter how down I get, my family's always there. But now... I must warn those around me, I've grown quieter, isolated myself and even my rare smiles and laughter now, for all you know, they're forced.

More quizzes

You are the Spirit of Love. You think around
romance and are extremely compassionate.
Whenever you want something you can get it due
to your fiery passion. You can make friends
quite easily, because peopole are attracted to
your obvious good nature. You will have no
trouble in finding a life partner and will be
very happy.

Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by
Your element is Water. You have a calm aura around
you and are in tune with the world around. You
observe it but rarely interfere. Because of
your shy and timid nature you will not have so
many friends in your life. But then again,
large crowds aren't your thing anyway. You are
comfortable on your own and are reserved to
others who you don't know or know very little
of. You know everyone out there does not want
to be your friend, and knowing that is good.
However, people who don't know you that well
thinks that you are cold and distant since you
don't want to talk to them. Although you mean
no harm, you can't always be perfectly
understood in the world. No one can. Life in
general are you quite serene with even if there
are some things you don't like. Your love-life
is not so full of boys/girls, but if you
flirted more with the ones you were interested
in I'm sure something would happen. The hobbies
you choose are calmer ones, you are no party
girl that likes to drink and make-out with
three or more guys/girls in one night. Reading
a book or swimming is more your thing. Rate and
message!

What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
brought to you by
you represent the begining of life. you are bright
and cheerful and love being who you are!

What part of life do you represent? ( AWESOME anime pics ^_^)
brought to you by
You are Relaxed

You have this constant feeling inside that says
that everything will be alright. Calm cool, you
invented the Chill Pill! (WHAT?!)Whenever
there's a problem you don't spaz out, that's
why people come to you for advice because
you're really reliable. Not many people have
the aura of calmness that follows wherever you
go. Whenever people are around you, they loosen
up, relax, just by being near you! Your motto
is 'Sit back and relax'. Stay the way you are,
because you rarely get stressed out!


Please Rate and Message!

What's The Girl Inside of You? .:BEAUTIFUL Anime Pics AND Music!:. (UPDATED!)
brought to you by