Heehee. The timing of my blog entries show a trend, don't they? I'm sleeping later than what I was used to. Right now, I'm feeling a bit sleepy but there are so many more things I want to do. Pft. Surprisingly, slept close to 1am this morning but throughout the school day, wasn't feeling sleeping til around late afternoon.
I realize that I don't like to be alone. Haha. That isn't something new, is it? But yes, was attempting to play the guitar without a pick from 4 - 5:20pm. Sighs. The memories that E1-14 bring back... Disclaimer: I did not get emotional or moody during that time, ok? I can be trusted when I'm alone, ok? But yeps, was just at E1-14, strumming the guitar.
I'm wondering how tomorrow will be. A bit nervous and hoping that I won't be disappointed. I've been disappointed by too many things lately. Pft! I want to play the guitar now... -contemplates going to school early- Think I should do TAWG but I think I'm way too sleepy to really focus so it kind of defeats the purpose. Sighs. Either wake up early tomorrow or something? Shall see how things go. Mhmm. Goodnight! At least it's not 12 midnight yet. =p
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
the horse whisperer
Heehee. Yes, another entry in which I copy lines from books and put them into here. This just proves that I'm reading too much and losing my self-control. Anything I come across that I like, I copy it down. Oops?
"... where there's pain, there's still feeling and where there's feeling, there's hope."
[Sad but true? =) I totally agree... Guess that answers my question as to why I still hope even after feeling the pain. It's nice to see it in black and white. But yeps, so I shall hold onto this line. As long as I can still feel pain, I'm not that worried about losing myself.]
"... what a previous commodity love was and that the proper calibration of its giving and taking was too precise by far for mere humans."
[Is there a proper calibration to how much giving and taking there is in love?]
"The darkest hour comes before the dawn."
[It seems like the dawn now, doesn't it? But to me, it's not the dawn yet. Not yet. Shall elaborate more later.]
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, becuase the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater."
[Have I accepted the way things are? Is that why the pain is less nowadays? Somehow, I have my doubts about that. But anyway, it's true that accepting the situations in life does decrease the pair compared to going against the situation and being all worked up about it.]
Time for elaboration... Especially since I find the last quote especially relevant to me. I've been stating openly the state of my emotions for the past few weeks. And I still intend to be rather honest. For the past few days, the pain is still there. But it seems to have diminished? Or maybe I'm more used to it? I really don't know. But it's just interesting to see how I react nowadays compared to how I reacted two weeks back. There's still a reaction but it's so much more controlled and not as obvious as before. Have I gotten better? Or am I just more used to it? I really want to know the answer to the questions. Actually, there are a lot of questions on my mind. I'm worried that I'm using work as a form of distraction. I want the change in attitude to be genuine.
But to end off, I think that right now, I'm still coping. As I said, it's not the dawn yet for me. I don't see a glimpse of the sunlight. Yet, the darkness no longer seems so bad. Maybe cause my eyes have adjusted or maybe cause deep within me, I know that just around the corner, I'll be able to see the sunrise.
"... where there's pain, there's still feeling and where there's feeling, there's hope."
[Sad but true? =) I totally agree... Guess that answers my question as to why I still hope even after feeling the pain. It's nice to see it in black and white. But yeps, so I shall hold onto this line. As long as I can still feel pain, I'm not that worried about losing myself.]
"... what a previous commodity love was and that the proper calibration of its giving and taking was too precise by far for mere humans."
[Is there a proper calibration to how much giving and taking there is in love?]
"The darkest hour comes before the dawn."
[It seems like the dawn now, doesn't it? But to me, it's not the dawn yet. Not yet. Shall elaborate more later.]
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, becuase the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater."
[Have I accepted the way things are? Is that why the pain is less nowadays? Somehow, I have my doubts about that. But anyway, it's true that accepting the situations in life does decrease the pair compared to going against the situation and being all worked up about it.]
Time for elaboration... Especially since I find the last quote especially relevant to me. I've been stating openly the state of my emotions for the past few weeks. And I still intend to be rather honest. For the past few days, the pain is still there. But it seems to have diminished? Or maybe I'm more used to it? I really don't know. But it's just interesting to see how I react nowadays compared to how I reacted two weeks back. There's still a reaction but it's so much more controlled and not as obvious as before. Have I gotten better? Or am I just more used to it? I really want to know the answer to the questions. Actually, there are a lot of questions on my mind. I'm worried that I'm using work as a form of distraction. I want the change in attitude to be genuine.
But to end off, I think that right now, I'm still coping. As I said, it's not the dawn yet for me. I don't see a glimpse of the sunlight. Yet, the darkness no longer seems so bad. Maybe cause my eyes have adjusted or maybe cause deep within me, I know that just around the corner, I'll be able to see the sunrise.
trying
This blog entry is one day overdue... Wanted to blog this last night/this morning but the internet connection was a bit too slow for my liking and I needed to sleep already so yeps.
Yay! Nowadays, I feel more and more accomplished. It's a nice feeling. =) Let's see. Actually bothering to put in decent amount of effort in studying for biodiversity test. Finishing up most of my chinese homework. Stuff like that... While it's true that I rarely hand in late homework last year and all (other than for chinese), this year, I guess I'm trying to do more than that? To clear homework as soon as possible? And surprisingly, I'm doing that along with playing the guitar and TAWG. Where does all this time come from? Maybe it helps that MSN isn't installed on this computer? And that I don't use the computer that much.
I'm really hoping that this attitude towards work actually continues and lasts throughout this year and the next few years. No, I do not intend to spend every waking moment studying/doing work, ok? Just that I hope that I'm able to put in the amount of effort that I used to put in for work. Hmm... Honestly, haven't felt like that for a long time... Sure, there've been incidents here and there but nothing this sustained. Really reminds me of Primary 5. And up til now, I can't figure how I managed to put my grades up that year. Think I can do it again this year? I'll try...
Yay! Nowadays, I feel more and more accomplished. It's a nice feeling. =) Let's see. Actually bothering to put in decent amount of effort in studying for biodiversity test. Finishing up most of my chinese homework. Stuff like that... While it's true that I rarely hand in late homework last year and all (other than for chinese), this year, I guess I'm trying to do more than that? To clear homework as soon as possible? And surprisingly, I'm doing that along with playing the guitar and TAWG. Where does all this time come from? Maybe it helps that MSN isn't installed on this computer? And that I don't use the computer that much.
I'm really hoping that this attitude towards work actually continues and lasts throughout this year and the next few years. No, I do not intend to spend every waking moment studying/doing work, ok? Just that I hope that I'm able to put in the amount of effort that I used to put in for work. Hmm... Honestly, haven't felt like that for a long time... Sure, there've been incidents here and there but nothing this sustained. Really reminds me of Primary 5. And up til now, I can't figure how I managed to put my grades up that year. Think I can do it again this year? I'll try...
Saturday, January 27, 2007
to die to myself?
Disclaimer: I am not considering suicide or anything, ok? Read on to find out what prompted me to have such a title.
Anyway, I want to state that I'm going to be rather contradictory at times. Considering the previous two blog entries and what's been going through my mind today, I'm really struggling with a few issues.
I'll fast foward to today's service. During worship, while we were singing this song, these lyrics just stood out. "Lord, I know I'll never be the same again"... The past few days, I've blogged about not wanting to change in terms of who I am and what I value and stuff like that. But then this question popped up in my head. "Am I willing to die to myself?" Often, pastors and leaders remind us to die to our rights, die to our dreams and just let God work in our lives. Still remember how God was asking me if I was willing to die to my wish of taking art last year. But now, this question really made me think. I know I'm willing to give up a lot of things if God tells me to. But am I willing to die to who I am? And just let God mould me once more? To be honest, I can't give an answer yet. I can sense that I'm going to change this year. How? I have no idea. And whether I'll change and my fear comes true, that I become less dependent on my friends, I don't know. I'll blog about it once more when I know the answer. But yes, I got to admit that I want to cling onto who I am. I've gotten used to being like that, I guess. And it's what makes me me? Oh well. Shall stay up to do TAWG later.
Anyway, about today's sermon. What struck me wasn't the sermon but rather the choice of verses. Hebrews 10:22-25. The same few verses that I did for TAWG a week ago? =) And the past few days, most of what I've been reading has to do with faith. Hmm... Maybe I should read Jodi Picoult's "Keeping faith" again, yes? =p But yeps, hoping to read Hebrews 11 which happens to be about faith. Just finished the portion in "Power of a praying teen" about faith a few days ago...
One last thing to blog about. Altar call. Even before altar call, was reminded of what God spoke to me about last week. And once again, just felt my heart being so heavy. The same name came to mind. I really want to see that person in church and receiving God. And at the altar, I was just releasing everything unto God and no longer holding back my tears. What I can't get over is how God keeps reminding me to reach out to that person. And right now, that's probably one of the things I want most. And even though circumstances aren't really in my favour, I know I'll try my best. Besides, isn't that one of my new year resolutions? To give my best in everything I do. =)
Oh. By the way, my internet connection is like its owner and tends to have moodswings. Yeps, it only works once in awhile so I'll blog as and when the connection works. Meanwhile, it's back to blogging in Microsoft Word. And you won't see me online for a long time. At least not til the outside computer is fixed. Dad's worried that this computer will be hit by a virus too if I install Messenger so yeps... =p
Anyway, I want to state that I'm going to be rather contradictory at times. Considering the previous two blog entries and what's been going through my mind today, I'm really struggling with a few issues.
I'll fast foward to today's service. During worship, while we were singing this song, these lyrics just stood out. "Lord, I know I'll never be the same again"... The past few days, I've blogged about not wanting to change in terms of who I am and what I value and stuff like that. But then this question popped up in my head. "Am I willing to die to myself?" Often, pastors and leaders remind us to die to our rights, die to our dreams and just let God work in our lives. Still remember how God was asking me if I was willing to die to my wish of taking art last year. But now, this question really made me think. I know I'm willing to give up a lot of things if God tells me to. But am I willing to die to who I am? And just let God mould me once more? To be honest, I can't give an answer yet. I can sense that I'm going to change this year. How? I have no idea. And whether I'll change and my fear comes true, that I become less dependent on my friends, I don't know. I'll blog about it once more when I know the answer. But yes, I got to admit that I want to cling onto who I am. I've gotten used to being like that, I guess. And it's what makes me me? Oh well. Shall stay up to do TAWG later.
Anyway, about today's sermon. What struck me wasn't the sermon but rather the choice of verses. Hebrews 10:22-25. The same few verses that I did for TAWG a week ago? =) And the past few days, most of what I've been reading has to do with faith. Hmm... Maybe I should read Jodi Picoult's "Keeping faith" again, yes? =p But yeps, hoping to read Hebrews 11 which happens to be about faith. Just finished the portion in "Power of a praying teen" about faith a few days ago...
One last thing to blog about. Altar call. Even before altar call, was reminded of what God spoke to me about last week. And once again, just felt my heart being so heavy. The same name came to mind. I really want to see that person in church and receiving God. And at the altar, I was just releasing everything unto God and no longer holding back my tears. What I can't get over is how God keeps reminding me to reach out to that person. And right now, that's probably one of the things I want most. And even though circumstances aren't really in my favour, I know I'll try my best. Besides, isn't that one of my new year resolutions? To give my best in everything I do. =)
Oh. By the way, my internet connection is like its owner and tends to have moodswings. Yeps, it only works once in awhile so I'll blog as and when the connection works. Meanwhile, it's back to blogging in Microsoft Word. And you won't see me online for a long time. At least not til the outside computer is fixed. Dad's worried that this computer will be hit by a virus too if I install Messenger so yeps... =p
a perfect day
This is going to be another entry about my thoughts and reflections after reading a book. You might call this a book review but I think what I do focus on isn’t the plot or how well it’s written but rather, the whole idea behind it and how it touches my heart.
Returned my library books yesterday and was browsing through the shelves for more books. Hmm. Even that alone brought back memories. I really should stop associating so many things with various people. Anyway, a few books caught my eye and I was looking through them but didn’t borrow since it was part of a trilogy and the first book was not there. Pft. Fortunately, one of the books by the same author was a stand-alone so I borrowed it. “A perfect day” by Richard Paul Evans. I highly recommend it. I rank it along with Mitch Albom and Jodi Picoult. The book is those kind that’s really meaningful and makes you reflect on your own life.
Spent the past 1 hour plus reading through the book and just couldn’t put it down. Towards the end of the book, I was in tears. The story’s that moving. Of course, it does help when you’re like me, awfully sentimental and emotional. =p Will copy down a few lines that mean a lot to me…
“Is there any way that you could let me back in your heart? ... You never left it.”
[These two lines were said by two different characters, a husband and wife. When I read it, I was overwhelmed by emotions. How true it is… When you love someone, that person never leaves your heart.]
“I’ve learned that the measure of life is revealed in the quality of our relationships: with God, our families, our fellow men.”
[A gentle remainder to myself. Even as I push myself beyond my comfort zone, I hope that I don’t lose sight of what’s truly important in life. So to all my friends, I say this. If ever my friends are no longer my top priority, feel free to shout at me or even slap me. Just wake me up, ok? Thanks. =)]
“I’ve learned that the greatest threat to love is not circumstance but the absence of attention. For we do not neglect others because we have ceased to love; rather we cease to love others because we have neglected.”
[Ouch. I think that sums it up? Not just for the current situation but also for so many other times in the past. Just want to say “sorry” to those I’ve neglected. Sorry. Please forgive me?]
And there I was, trying to fool myself. Yesterday, after a few incidents, I was thinking to myself how I had changed or how I was going to change. But after reading the book, I’ve realized that I’ve just been lying to myself in order to numb myself even more. I’m still me. Haha. Looks like it’s confirmed. I can’t change even if I want to. Just a book can get me into this state… Let alone other stuff. Now, I’m just into that really reflective mood. And a disclaimer: tears don’t always mean moodiness. I’m not moody. These tears are just... Sorry but I’m not going to finish the sentence. But trust me when I say that tears don’t equal moodiness or emo-ness, ok?
Returned my library books yesterday and was browsing through the shelves for more books. Hmm. Even that alone brought back memories. I really should stop associating so many things with various people. Anyway, a few books caught my eye and I was looking through them but didn’t borrow since it was part of a trilogy and the first book was not there. Pft. Fortunately, one of the books by the same author was a stand-alone so I borrowed it. “A perfect day” by Richard Paul Evans. I highly recommend it. I rank it along with Mitch Albom and Jodi Picoult. The book is those kind that’s really meaningful and makes you reflect on your own life.
Spent the past 1 hour plus reading through the book and just couldn’t put it down. Towards the end of the book, I was in tears. The story’s that moving. Of course, it does help when you’re like me, awfully sentimental and emotional. =p Will copy down a few lines that mean a lot to me…
“Is there any way that you could let me back in your heart? ... You never left it.”
[These two lines were said by two different characters, a husband and wife. When I read it, I was overwhelmed by emotions. How true it is… When you love someone, that person never leaves your heart.]
“I’ve learned that the measure of life is revealed in the quality of our relationships: with God, our families, our fellow men.”
[A gentle remainder to myself. Even as I push myself beyond my comfort zone, I hope that I don’t lose sight of what’s truly important in life. So to all my friends, I say this. If ever my friends are no longer my top priority, feel free to shout at me or even slap me. Just wake me up, ok? Thanks. =)]
“I’ve learned that the greatest threat to love is not circumstance but the absence of attention. For we do not neglect others because we have ceased to love; rather we cease to love others because we have neglected.”
[Ouch. I think that sums it up? Not just for the current situation but also for so many other times in the past. Just want to say “sorry” to those I’ve neglected. Sorry. Please forgive me?]
And there I was, trying to fool myself. Yesterday, after a few incidents, I was thinking to myself how I had changed or how I was going to change. But after reading the book, I’ve realized that I’ve just been lying to myself in order to numb myself even more. I’m still me. Haha. Looks like it’s confirmed. I can’t change even if I want to. Just a book can get me into this state… Let alone other stuff. Now, I’m just into that really reflective mood. And a disclaimer: tears don’t always mean moodiness. I’m not moody. These tears are just... Sorry but I’m not going to finish the sentence. But trust me when I say that tears don’t equal moodiness or emo-ness, ok?
second glance
Been going a bit crazy with reading books over the past few weeks. Borrowed 9 books at 1 go the previous time I went to the library so ya… Anyway, there’s always a few lines that are worth blogging about. Shall only quote from only one of the books though, “Second Glance” by Jodi Picoult. I shall blog a few lines after each quote if I feel like it…
“A life wasn’t defined by the moment you died, but all the others you’d spent living.”
[Meaningful. How have I been living my life? Interesting food for thought.]
“...that once you had put the pieces back together, even though you might look intact, you were never quite the same as you’d been before the fall.”
[How true is this? Am I really not quite the same as I was before? And heehee, do I even look intact in the first place? With the comments people have been saying about me looking sad even when I’m feeling fine, I think my looks are giving away too much.]
“Did you ever walk through a room that’s packed with people, and feel so lonely you can hardly take the next step?”
[Oh. This one, I understand all too well. In fact, most people should be able to understand this. At times, things just seem to be like that and I just wish I wasn’t so lonely.]
“I wish I could tell him I understand: the higher you raise your hopes, the farther you have to fall.”
[Ouch. How suitable and appropriate? I’ve always had that kind of thinking but deep down, I still hope. In fact, even though I’ve fallen so often, I don’t know what keeps me holding on to my hopes and dreams.]
“I want you to have a better life than the one I had. Even if that means keeping your distance from me.”
[A character in the story said this to his daughter. For me, I’m wondering if I’ll ever be that selfless to say that to anyone. Considering that whenever people I care about keep their distance from me, I hurt so much. For their happiness, would I let them go? I’ve yet to answer this.]
“I think people believe what they need to, don’t you?”
[Whee! I agree. It’s called self denial. =p In the same way that I always do my best to convince myself so that I won’t fall even more.]
“Love’s not a because, it’s a no matter what.”
[I guess that explains why I still keep on hoping? It doesn’t matter what has happened or what will happen. All that matters to me is how much they mean to me.]
“Love meant jumping off a cliff and trusting that a certain person would be there to catch you at the bottom.”
[Whee! –jumps off the cliff- Ohh, wait. What happens if there’s no one there to catch me? Or to be more specific, what happens if the one person who can catch me isn’t there?]
“No promise ever rescued a person; it was the carrying-through of it that brought about salvation.”
[The few lines before this in the book was about words. I didn’t see the point in copying them down. It’s what I already know. This line, I’m familiar with it too… As in, the whole idea and concept behind it. Question: Will you carry out your promises?]
There. I’m done copying out and reflecting on each of the lines. Initially, I had planned to blog on a few topics. Was brainstorming for topics to blog about while in school. But after that, I realized I had to start off with quotes first since I’m going to return the book tomorrow and now, I just know how this entry is going to continue.
Changes. People dread them. But for me, right now what I dread most is that I’ll change into someone that I don’t recognize. Was talking to one of my friends last week on MSN and as I chatted with her, I realized what’s one of my greatest fears. Not being me anymore. And I realized that I don’t want to lose those few weaknesses and flaws that make me who I am. Yes, I’m very emotional. At times, too emotional? I care (too much?) about people and my life revolves around those that I love and care about. And somehow, I continue to hope even when most people think I should have given up long time ago. Hmm. And one more thing, I don’t want to be “strong” in the sense that I don’t ever want to be a person who no longer depends on others. In other words, keep things to myself and just rely on myself. Sure, that means I will get hurt so much more if I stay the way I am but hey, I love to quote this line from the lyrics of “There is life” – “the colder the winter, the warmer the spring, the deeper the sorrow, the more our hearts sing”.
One day this week, I was just asking myself why I still hoped even though I’ve been disappointed time and time again? Well, I guess it’s called I still think with my heart instead of my head. Basically, I’m more emotional than logical. =p
Hmm. The past few weeks sure took its toll on me. And though some might think I’m better, who knows? In a way, I have changed a bit just over the past few weeks. I’ve gotten better control over my emotions. At least in public. Disclaimer: No, I’m not emo-ing by myself in school or what, ok? But I’ve just gotten better at pushing things to the back of my head for now. Thing is, they won’t stay long there. I’m waiting to see how I’ll cope. But I don’t want to change. Even if I get hurt even more, I’ll stay true to who I’ve been for the past few years. (Anyone wants to start calling me crazy or something for caring so much? Go ahead. You won’t be the first.)
“A life wasn’t defined by the moment you died, but all the others you’d spent living.”
[Meaningful. How have I been living my life? Interesting food for thought.]
“...that once you had put the pieces back together, even though you might look intact, you were never quite the same as you’d been before the fall.”
[How true is this? Am I really not quite the same as I was before? And heehee, do I even look intact in the first place? With the comments people have been saying about me looking sad even when I’m feeling fine, I think my looks are giving away too much.]
“Did you ever walk through a room that’s packed with people, and feel so lonely you can hardly take the next step?”
[Oh. This one, I understand all too well. In fact, most people should be able to understand this. At times, things just seem to be like that and I just wish I wasn’t so lonely.]
“I wish I could tell him I understand: the higher you raise your hopes, the farther you have to fall.”
[Ouch. How suitable and appropriate? I’ve always had that kind of thinking but deep down, I still hope. In fact, even though I’ve fallen so often, I don’t know what keeps me holding on to my hopes and dreams.]
“I want you to have a better life than the one I had. Even if that means keeping your distance from me.”
[A character in the story said this to his daughter. For me, I’m wondering if I’ll ever be that selfless to say that to anyone. Considering that whenever people I care about keep their distance from me, I hurt so much. For their happiness, would I let them go? I’ve yet to answer this.]
“I think people believe what they need to, don’t you?”
[Whee! I agree. It’s called self denial. =p In the same way that I always do my best to convince myself so that I won’t fall even more.]
“Love’s not a because, it’s a no matter what.”
[I guess that explains why I still keep on hoping? It doesn’t matter what has happened or what will happen. All that matters to me is how much they mean to me.]
“Love meant jumping off a cliff and trusting that a certain person would be there to catch you at the bottom.”
[Whee! –jumps off the cliff- Ohh, wait. What happens if there’s no one there to catch me? Or to be more specific, what happens if the one person who can catch me isn’t there?]
“No promise ever rescued a person; it was the carrying-through of it that brought about salvation.”
[The few lines before this in the book was about words. I didn’t see the point in copying them down. It’s what I already know. This line, I’m familiar with it too… As in, the whole idea and concept behind it. Question: Will you carry out your promises?]
There. I’m done copying out and reflecting on each of the lines. Initially, I had planned to blog on a few topics. Was brainstorming for topics to blog about while in school. But after that, I realized I had to start off with quotes first since I’m going to return the book tomorrow and now, I just know how this entry is going to continue.
Changes. People dread them. But for me, right now what I dread most is that I’ll change into someone that I don’t recognize. Was talking to one of my friends last week on MSN and as I chatted with her, I realized what’s one of my greatest fears. Not being me anymore. And I realized that I don’t want to lose those few weaknesses and flaws that make me who I am. Yes, I’m very emotional. At times, too emotional? I care (too much?) about people and my life revolves around those that I love and care about. And somehow, I continue to hope even when most people think I should have given up long time ago. Hmm. And one more thing, I don’t want to be “strong” in the sense that I don’t ever want to be a person who no longer depends on others. In other words, keep things to myself and just rely on myself. Sure, that means I will get hurt so much more if I stay the way I am but hey, I love to quote this line from the lyrics of “There is life” – “the colder the winter, the warmer the spring, the deeper the sorrow, the more our hearts sing”.
One day this week, I was just asking myself why I still hoped even though I’ve been disappointed time and time again? Well, I guess it’s called I still think with my heart instead of my head. Basically, I’m more emotional than logical. =p
Hmm. The past few weeks sure took its toll on me. And though some might think I’m better, who knows? In a way, I have changed a bit just over the past few weeks. I’ve gotten better control over my emotions. At least in public. Disclaimer: No, I’m not emo-ing by myself in school or what, ok? But I’ve just gotten better at pushing things to the back of my head for now. Thing is, they won’t stay long there. I’m waiting to see how I’ll cope. But I don’t want to change. Even if I get hurt even more, I’ll stay true to who I’ve been for the past few years. (Anyone wants to start calling me crazy or something for caring so much? Go ahead. You won’t be the first.)
Friday, January 26, 2007
such a change
Hmm. I've got another blog entry in microsoft word but it's back at home in my computer. And since I forgot to transfer it into a thumbdrive and bring it to school, that entry will have to wait. =p
Hmm... My title's so appropriate. A lot of things have changed. For one, my confidence seems to have improved a bit? =p For some areas... Maybe it's not confidence, maybe it's just daring to be who I can be. I don't know. I dare say I know myself well in terms of character and way of thinking. But in terms of abilities, I really don't know myself well. As I said before, it's been a long time since I pushed myself. And I guess that's what I'm attempting to do now. Not just for academics. There are various other areas which I'm trying to improve myself.
This might be repeated in the next blog entry but I'll say this anyway. My control has certainly gotten better. =) Laadeedaa.
Hmm... My title's so appropriate. A lot of things have changed. For one, my confidence seems to have improved a bit? =p For some areas... Maybe it's not confidence, maybe it's just daring to be who I can be. I don't know. I dare say I know myself well in terms of character and way of thinking. But in terms of abilities, I really don't know myself well. As I said before, it's been a long time since I pushed myself. And I guess that's what I'm attempting to do now. Not just for academics. There are various other areas which I'm trying to improve myself.
This might be repeated in the next blog entry but I'll say this anyway. My control has certainly gotten better. =) Laadeedaa.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
heavy heart
On friday night/saturday morning, I blogged about how I was looking foward to service and hearing from God. It's time to blog about yesterday.
It was certainly a change to see everyone in their school uniforms. Heehee. I really should start tying my own tie? =p Anyway, worship for me wasn't anything spectacular, in the sense that I didn't feel like I was in God's presence yet. The sermon was very relevant though. Mhmm. Vision mandate: A generation of faith! For today, I'll not blog about the sermon as that wasn't really the highlight of the service for me yesterday.
Altar call. Even before I went up, I could sense that there was going to be a change in me. For some reason, tears came to my eyes as I thought of a certain person. I still have no idea how to phrase what happened when I was up at the altar. The experience was really different. It was nothing obvious like being struck down onto the floor. But rather, something changed internally. Reason for my title? That was kind of what happened. I don't mean that my heart suddenly weighs more but rather, my heart is feeling heavier. God placed upon me a renewed desire to see souls saved for Him, this new compassion for people. And because of that, my heart's heavier seeing those that I love not receiving God yet. That was why I was crying and just asking God to let me stand in the gap between Him and them. After that, ended off service by singing "History Maker". How appropriate?
Just feel like blogging more about what went through my mind and all yesterday. Before yesterday, I did want to see my friends come to know God and hopefully attend service along with me. But after yesterday's altar call, it's no longer just a matter of wanting. It's so much more than that. It's really this burning desire to see several ones of you saved. And in particular, there's one name that God has spoken to me about. And throughout F.U.E.L, that name never stopped flashing in my head. So many little things would make me think of wanting to see that person in church. And throughout the course of blogging this entry, my heart is still feeling so heavy, as if there's an additional "burden". But this "burden" is something I'm willing to bear. I just pray that one day, preferably soon, those that I love and care for will come to know God.
~keeping you all in prayer~
It was certainly a change to see everyone in their school uniforms. Heehee. I really should start tying my own tie? =p Anyway, worship for me wasn't anything spectacular, in the sense that I didn't feel like I was in God's presence yet. The sermon was very relevant though. Mhmm. Vision mandate: A generation of faith! For today, I'll not blog about the sermon as that wasn't really the highlight of the service for me yesterday.
Altar call. Even before I went up, I could sense that there was going to be a change in me. For some reason, tears came to my eyes as I thought of a certain person. I still have no idea how to phrase what happened when I was up at the altar. The experience was really different. It was nothing obvious like being struck down onto the floor. But rather, something changed internally. Reason for my title? That was kind of what happened. I don't mean that my heart suddenly weighs more but rather, my heart is feeling heavier. God placed upon me a renewed desire to see souls saved for Him, this new compassion for people. And because of that, my heart's heavier seeing those that I love not receiving God yet. That was why I was crying and just asking God to let me stand in the gap between Him and them. After that, ended off service by singing "History Maker". How appropriate?
Just feel like blogging more about what went through my mind and all yesterday. Before yesterday, I did want to see my friends come to know God and hopefully attend service along with me. But after yesterday's altar call, it's no longer just a matter of wanting. It's so much more than that. It's really this burning desire to see several ones of you saved. And in particular, there's one name that God has spoken to me about. And throughout F.U.E.L, that name never stopped flashing in my head. So many little things would make me think of wanting to see that person in church. And throughout the course of blogging this entry, my heart is still feeling so heavy, as if there's an additional "burden". But this "burden" is something I'm willing to bear. I just pray that one day, preferably soon, those that I love and care for will come to know God.
~keeping you all in prayer~
Saturday, January 20, 2007
remembering
Let me dwell in memories for awhile before I go on to blog about my real purpose for this entry..
As I went for piano yesterday, was walking along this street and just remembered a conversation that I had with someone at that place. It surprised me how I could remember that conversation so clearly. Guess you could call it a flashback? Really, a lot of things have been striking me the past few days and weeks. So many realizations.
Yay! My mum bought "Power of a praying teen" for me. She came home before I left for lcell so I brought it along with me to read on the bus. Only read through the first few pages, or to be specific, the introduction as I didn't want to read through this book like how I read fiction books. Even as I read, there were a lot of things that went through my mind. Had to control the urge to flip to particular chapters in the book that dealt with various issues and topics. After awhile, decided to sleep on the bus. Lcell. Gel was fun and I really miss Glorify. Looking foward to learning the guitar. Yes yes, I might actually do something about it this year. During the time when everyone shared, it was really amazing how so many of us want to see changes in our school and that God was speaking to each one of us about our school.
The trip back home was really unlike any other. At the busstop, felt the urge to take out my notebook which I use for TAWG and reflect on something that Bro Terence shared about in Lcell: letting the Holy Spirit lead us. How appropriate. Especially since I came across that in the first few pages of "Power of a praying teen" too... So was writing my reflections on it and re-reading the same few pages again and writing down more stuff. So throughout the whole bus ride, was just writing and referring to the book as well. Then even when I alighted from the bus, felt the urge to stay at the busstop and finish writing what God spoke to me about. Didn't want to wait til I got home. Yeps. And as I walk from the busstop to my house, just prayed out loud for various areas in my life. Mhmm.
It's great to reach another level in my relationship with God and really encountering Him every day and not just in church. But there's still so much more that I want. I'm hoping to hear from God tomorrow about the plans He has for the school. We're supposed to wear our school uniforms to church tomorrow. I'm really looking foward to tomorrow's service. Somehow, I think some issues that I've been struggling with will be resolved soon. Heehee. Might start spending money in the bookshop tomorrow. Feel like buying more stuff. But first, shall finish "Power of a praying teen". =) From what I've skimmed through, it's a really good book. Recommended reading!
Shall remember to blog one entry on the book after I'm done reading through it. Of course, I'll probably be writing my reflections after reading in my TAWG notebook as well. Sister Serena made a very good choice when she gave me the Precious Moments notebook. =)
Ok. Did I mention that my sleeping time is so messed up? I'm getting nocturnal. I get so tired in the day but can't sleep at night. Oops? Shall make an attempt to sleep earlier tonight.
As I went for piano yesterday, was walking along this street and just remembered a conversation that I had with someone at that place. It surprised me how I could remember that conversation so clearly. Guess you could call it a flashback? Really, a lot of things have been striking me the past few days and weeks. So many realizations.
Yay! My mum bought "Power of a praying teen" for me. She came home before I left for lcell so I brought it along with me to read on the bus. Only read through the first few pages, or to be specific, the introduction as I didn't want to read through this book like how I read fiction books. Even as I read, there were a lot of things that went through my mind. Had to control the urge to flip to particular chapters in the book that dealt with various issues and topics. After awhile, decided to sleep on the bus. Lcell. Gel was fun and I really miss Glorify. Looking foward to learning the guitar. Yes yes, I might actually do something about it this year. During the time when everyone shared, it was really amazing how so many of us want to see changes in our school and that God was speaking to each one of us about our school.
The trip back home was really unlike any other. At the busstop, felt the urge to take out my notebook which I use for TAWG and reflect on something that Bro Terence shared about in Lcell: letting the Holy Spirit lead us. How appropriate. Especially since I came across that in the first few pages of "Power of a praying teen" too... So was writing my reflections on it and re-reading the same few pages again and writing down more stuff. So throughout the whole bus ride, was just writing and referring to the book as well. Then even when I alighted from the bus, felt the urge to stay at the busstop and finish writing what God spoke to me about. Didn't want to wait til I got home. Yeps. And as I walk from the busstop to my house, just prayed out loud for various areas in my life. Mhmm.
It's great to reach another level in my relationship with God and really encountering Him every day and not just in church. But there's still so much more that I want. I'm hoping to hear from God tomorrow about the plans He has for the school. We're supposed to wear our school uniforms to church tomorrow. I'm really looking foward to tomorrow's service. Somehow, I think some issues that I've been struggling with will be resolved soon. Heehee. Might start spending money in the bookshop tomorrow. Feel like buying more stuff. But first, shall finish "Power of a praying teen". =) From what I've skimmed through, it's a really good book. Recommended reading!
Shall remember to blog one entry on the book after I'm done reading through it. Of course, I'll probably be writing my reflections after reading in my TAWG notebook as well. Sister Serena made a very good choice when she gave me the Precious Moments notebook. =)
Ok. Did I mention that my sleeping time is so messed up? I'm getting nocturnal. I get so tired in the day but can't sleep at night. Oops? Shall make an attempt to sleep earlier tonight.
Friday, January 19, 2007
lack of rest
Bah. I've been really tired the past few days. Guess it doesn't help that I've been staying up either to do work or something? Which means I don't sleep til after 12. =p While that's not that late, it means I'm lacking sleep. And didn't really want to take a nap in the afternoon so I guess I'll have to wait til after I come back home from Lcell. Sighs.
There are a lot of other things I need/want to do now but guess I'm stuck in front of the computer? Heehee. Was reading stories on fictionpress just now. Yay! Found a completed story and read through it. The plot was not bad, if only it wasn't so predictable. But really sweet and cheesy? And of course, happily ever after ending. Mhmm.
Let's see what I'm considering doing after going off the computer.
1) Practice piano
2) Read the last 2 books I borrowed
3) Start clearing homework
4) Sleep
5) Write in my diary
Hmm... Out of all these, it's probably not 4 since there's lcell later and I'm supposed to settle my own dinner. Which means leave the house in an hour or so?
Oh yes. Was commenting to mei how I'm giving myself more challenges this year. Like aiming to take my grade 8 this year. Setting resolutions like how I'll put in more effort for everything. Setting up CF for our level. And it's scary when I'm already so tired and drained and I haven't really started on any of the above.
Ok. This entry hasn't really been about the title? But yes, I need to rest. Heehee. Mei, chasing me back home didn't really work. Didn't sleep or anything so ya... Oops?
There are a lot of other things I need/want to do now but guess I'm stuck in front of the computer? Heehee. Was reading stories on fictionpress just now. Yay! Found a completed story and read through it. The plot was not bad, if only it wasn't so predictable. But really sweet and cheesy? And of course, happily ever after ending. Mhmm.
Let's see what I'm considering doing after going off the computer.
1) Practice piano
2) Read the last 2 books I borrowed
3) Start clearing homework
4) Sleep
5) Write in my diary
Hmm... Out of all these, it's probably not 4 since there's lcell later and I'm supposed to settle my own dinner. Which means leave the house in an hour or so?
Oh yes. Was commenting to mei how I'm giving myself more challenges this year. Like aiming to take my grade 8 this year. Setting resolutions like how I'll put in more effort for everything. Setting up CF for our level. And it's scary when I'm already so tired and drained and I haven't really started on any of the above.
Ok. This entry hasn't really been about the title? But yes, I need to rest. Heehee. Mei, chasing me back home didn't really work. Didn't sleep or anything so ya... Oops?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
selected songs
Hmm. For those who read my MSN space, there are quite a few entries in which I blog about song lyrics and their significance, memories associated, personal opinions, etc...
There are some kind of songs that I purposely avoid. There are some songs that I hope I never have to blog about and say that I understand the lyrics. Some lyrics, I don't want to be able to understand. The emotion behind those lyrics is something I want to stay far away from but now of all times, it's getting harder and harder.
One example. "Blue eyes blue" is a song that never applied to my life. Right now, I'm worried that one day, I'll be blogging about the lyrics of that song and how I find it relevant to my life. And as I was listening to my MP3 this evening, the lyrics of another song hit me. And once again, I'm worried and scared. These are songs I never ever wanted to blog about. But now, I'm just being really naive, really "tian zhen". There will come a time when those lyrics apply.
But for now, am I hoping for too much when I say I really don't want these songs to become reality? I've already had a nightmare about it. And now, I'm so scared that it becomes real. Please. Keep it from becoming a reality, can?
There are some kind of songs that I purposely avoid. There are some songs that I hope I never have to blog about and say that I understand the lyrics. Some lyrics, I don't want to be able to understand. The emotion behind those lyrics is something I want to stay far away from but now of all times, it's getting harder and harder.
One example. "Blue eyes blue" is a song that never applied to my life. Right now, I'm worried that one day, I'll be blogging about the lyrics of that song and how I find it relevant to my life. And as I was listening to my MP3 this evening, the lyrics of another song hit me. And once again, I'm worried and scared. These are songs I never ever wanted to blog about. But now, I'm just being really naive, really "tian zhen". There will come a time when those lyrics apply.
But for now, am I hoping for too much when I say I really don't want these songs to become reality? I've already had a nightmare about it. And now, I'm so scared that it becomes real. Please. Keep it from becoming a reality, can?
wednesday.
Wednesday started off so well...
I didn't sleep til about 1am. At first, was staying up to talk and then after that, had to polish off the rest of dinner. Except that now I realized it wasn't such a good idea. Even though it was one of my favourite dishes: Herbal chicken, I erm... ended up vomitting almost right after eating the rest of the chicken. Guess I ate too much of it or something? Cannot waste food what..
Overslept in the morning. Fortunately, it was only by 10 minutes which doesn't make that much of a difference as long as I rushed a bit. Surprisingly, the 3 hours of our mentor didn't really affect my mood and stuff like that. After lessons ended, went up to the rooftop to sketch out designs for the module Introduction to Design. =p Haha.
Then after designing, there was the whole incident. Mhmm. Oh well. Then some talking on the phone and staying up to rush out designs while being extremely tired. Yeps. Yesterday was one of those days that I could have gone without, I guess.
I didn't sleep til about 1am. At first, was staying up to talk and then after that, had to polish off the rest of dinner. Except that now I realized it wasn't such a good idea. Even though it was one of my favourite dishes: Herbal chicken, I erm... ended up vomitting almost right after eating the rest of the chicken. Guess I ate too much of it or something? Cannot waste food what..
Overslept in the morning. Fortunately, it was only by 10 minutes which doesn't make that much of a difference as long as I rushed a bit. Surprisingly, the 3 hours of our mentor didn't really affect my mood and stuff like that. After lessons ended, went up to the rooftop to sketch out designs for the module Introduction to Design. =p Haha.
Then after designing, there was the whole incident. Mhmm. Oh well. Then some talking on the phone and staying up to rush out designs while being extremely tired. Yeps. Yesterday was one of those days that I could have gone without, I guess.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
renewed
Hmm... Today's service was much needed. As my title says, I was renewed after service today. Sure, my mood picks up and all whenever I'm in church but today was so much more than that.
Went to church with everything pushed to the back of my head. Hmm. Yay! I'm looking foward to my mum buying "Power of a Praying Teen" for me. It caught my eye in Manna and suddenly, I really wanted it. Didn't have enough cash but told my mum about it later so she said she'll buy it for me from campus crusade, this christian bookshop near her workplace. =)
Anyway, worship was really a time for me to let the tears flow. The sermon's really relevant to me. Especially the part of how to be a mighty warrior for God. Pastor Gary told us to take on the mountains in our life and to advance God's Kingdom. This line is particularly meaningful, "Don't just speak about the problem, but speak to the problem." And one bible verse that encouraged me was Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
I was really hoping that there would be an altar call for this service. I needed to respond. Went up to the altar and just felt God's presence so strongly. I was crying and just asking God to take all the sorrow and pain away from me. And I've encountered God in a different way. Was prompted to fall to my knees and seek God, to be in a position of total surrender. The tears continued to flow til a point when I felt that I've lifted up everything unto Him. And one thing that I was really asking God for was joy to fill my heart once more. Most of the time, even when I face problems, there's still this child-like joy in me at simple things. But for the past week or so, it's been missing in a way. Realized this only after someone pointed it out. But after altar call, felt refreshed and renewed. Sure, it's not the first time I've felt renewed after service. My mood picks up in church as I said. But this round, I feel that it's something more than that, something different. Sure, the problem that's been causing me to be so drained hasn't been resolved and I'll still have to deal with it but somehow, I know that I'll be able to weather the storm. So for those who's been worried about me, don't worry so much, ya? I will or have already picked myself out of the moodiness and will do my best to keep myself from being moody again. =)
Went to church with everything pushed to the back of my head. Hmm. Yay! I'm looking foward to my mum buying "Power of a Praying Teen" for me. It caught my eye in Manna and suddenly, I really wanted it. Didn't have enough cash but told my mum about it later so she said she'll buy it for me from campus crusade, this christian bookshop near her workplace. =)
Anyway, worship was really a time for me to let the tears flow. The sermon's really relevant to me. Especially the part of how to be a mighty warrior for God. Pastor Gary told us to take on the mountains in our life and to advance God's Kingdom. This line is particularly meaningful, "Don't just speak about the problem, but speak to the problem." And one bible verse that encouraged me was Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
I was really hoping that there would be an altar call for this service. I needed to respond. Went up to the altar and just felt God's presence so strongly. I was crying and just asking God to take all the sorrow and pain away from me. And I've encountered God in a different way. Was prompted to fall to my knees and seek God, to be in a position of total surrender. The tears continued to flow til a point when I felt that I've lifted up everything unto Him. And one thing that I was really asking God for was joy to fill my heart once more. Most of the time, even when I face problems, there's still this child-like joy in me at simple things. But for the past week or so, it's been missing in a way. Realized this only after someone pointed it out. But after altar call, felt refreshed and renewed. Sure, it's not the first time I've felt renewed after service. My mood picks up in church as I said. But this round, I feel that it's something more than that, something different. Sure, the problem that's been causing me to be so drained hasn't been resolved and I'll still have to deal with it but somehow, I know that I'll be able to weather the storm. So for those who's been worried about me, don't worry so much, ya? I will or have already picked myself out of the moodiness and will do my best to keep myself from being moody again. =)
quiz result
| Your Aura is Blue |
 The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor |
Whee! Did quite a few quizzes from blogthings and came across a lot of interesting results. But controlling the urge to post all and only selected this one. Haha. No lah, just too lazy to post all. I really agree with this result. Especially "giving of yourself" and the line right after that. Mhmm. And I don't want to change even if this character of mine gets myself hurt. It's my nature to give. I won't be me if I stop giving and treasuring my relationships with people. So yeps.
Friday, January 12, 2007
thanks
Hmm. There isn't much that I want to blog about but felt like blogging so yeps. Shall spend this entry thanking three people. =)
You 3 know who you are. The past few days, been talking so much more with each one of you. It really touches my heart to know that you all care about me. You three care for me beyond what I expected. At times, I really feel unworthy of such love and care.
Don't worry so much about me, ok? Sure, I may get exceedingly emotional and all but I believe that I will pull through somehow. It's just a matter of time. =p Heehee. Because of you all, I'll do my best to get out of this moodiness and start going crazily high til you all can't stand it. =p Haha.
-hugs- Thanks once again. I really appreciate what you all have done for me. Oh, let me be there for you all too, ok? Love you all. Take care.
You 3 know who you are. The past few days, been talking so much more with each one of you. It really touches my heart to know that you all care about me. You three care for me beyond what I expected. At times, I really feel unworthy of such love and care.
Don't worry so much about me, ok? Sure, I may get exceedingly emotional and all but I believe that I will pull through somehow. It's just a matter of time. =p Heehee. Because of you all, I'll do my best to get out of this moodiness and start going crazily high til you all can't stand it. =p Haha.
-hugs- Thanks once again. I really appreciate what you all have done for me. Oh, let me be there for you all too, ok? Love you all. Take care.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
living on hope
Hmm. Normally, I try to avoid blogging about anything that's even vaguely emotional here... But let's see how this entry turns out?
I really dislike it when I'm proven right. I had the feelings things wouldn't work out well and I was right. I didn't have high expectations. Not as high as normal anyway. Once bitten, twice shy. But deep now, I guess that I was still in denial or something? But there's no mistaking it now. I can't deny that things have turned out this way. I'm still hoping that things can go back to the way they once were. As the title says, I'm living on hope, in the sense that it's one of the factors that's keeping me from giving up.
Ahh. The emo-ness doesn't seem to last long. Yay. =) Been having weird moodswings. Fortunately, I get crazily high at times so ya.. =)
I really dislike it when I'm proven right. I had the feelings things wouldn't work out well and I was right. I didn't have high expectations. Not as high as normal anyway. Once bitten, twice shy. But deep now, I guess that I was still in denial or something? But there's no mistaking it now. I can't deny that things have turned out this way. I'm still hoping that things can go back to the way they once were. As the title says, I'm living on hope, in the sense that it's one of the factors that's keeping me from giving up.
Ahh. The emo-ness doesn't seem to last long. Yay. =) Been having weird moodswings. Fortunately, I get crazily high at times so ya.. =)
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
relationships: give and take
Yay. It's great to be able to blog and publish my entry straightaway instead of typing it out on Word document then trouble others to post it for me...
Pft. I've got a time limit to blog this entry because I want to catch the results show of "The Arena". Except that jose just told me the results... Never mind. Shall watch it anyway.
Hmm. Time to blog about the title. Why are things like that? I gain and I lose. Or at least that's how things seem to be. Last year, I gained more than what I ever expected but I also lost so much... Now, I seem to be gaining quite a bit but somehow, I seem to be losing you. I hate this whole give-and-take situation. Is it too much to ask for that I get to keep all that I have? It's just weird how I can't seem to keep what I want for long. Is this all some irrational fear of mine? I really hope so...
Ack. I'm being vague. But I don't want to go any deeper. Oh. This year has already proved that it's going to be similar to previous years in some ways. For one, the rollercoaster ride has already started. Sometimes, I'm so freakily high. Then the next moment, everything is drained away from me and I'm so tired.
Hmm. Think it's time to change my blogskin soon since I've been getting complaints that it's hard to read my blog... But I like this skin! >.< Oh well. Changing of blogskin will have to wait. Still have other things to do.
Pft. I've got a time limit to blog this entry because I want to catch the results show of "The Arena". Except that jose just told me the results... Never mind. Shall watch it anyway.
Hmm. Time to blog about the title. Why are things like that? I gain and I lose. Or at least that's how things seem to be. Last year, I gained more than what I ever expected but I also lost so much... Now, I seem to be gaining quite a bit but somehow, I seem to be losing you. I hate this whole give-and-take situation. Is it too much to ask for that I get to keep all that I have? It's just weird how I can't seem to keep what I want for long. Is this all some irrational fear of mine? I really hope so...
Ack. I'm being vague. But I don't want to go any deeper. Oh. This year has already proved that it's going to be similar to previous years in some ways. For one, the rollercoaster ride has already started. Sometimes, I'm so freakily high. Then the next moment, everything is drained away from me and I'm so tired.
Hmm. Think it's time to change my blogskin soon since I've been getting complaints that it's hard to read my blog... But I like this skin! >.< Oh well. Changing of blogskin will have to wait. Still have other things to do.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
2007, welcome?
Hmm. Even before 2007 started, I already knew that it’s going to be yet another year of changes and more roller-coaster ride. Duh. That’s life. Haha. But anyway, there are some things that will or have already changed in 2007. Oh well. Interestingly enough, I haven’t made any New Year resolutions yet. As in, I have a vague idea of what I hope to achieve in 2007 and stuff like that but it’s not written out in black and white. So I guess I shall do it on this blog?
2007 is going to be challenging. And the best part is that I’m the one who’s going to make my life challenging. I actually want to put in a decent amount of effort for my studies for once and see results. Although right now, it’s just words and there’s this fear that I’ll lose that spirit as the year goes on. There’s also the additional challenge of wanting to build up the Christian fellowship in school. Heehee. Am I intending to take on more than I can chew? Who knows?
Hmm… Shall have a paragraph of my hopes regarding relationships in 2007. The state of my relationship with various people have changed a lot in 2006 but as 2007 starts, I’m hoping that certain relationships don’t end up the way other relationships turn out. Ok. I’m being really vague, aren’t I? Oh well. Enough with the vague-ness already. There’s bound to be changes in 2007 and some of them are already starting to be very obvious. But I’m really hoping that there wouldn’t be this distance between various people and me. In 2006, certain relationships suffered. I don’t want to go through that again for the other relationships… However, to quote this line from a song, “But now, even I can tell, that I confused my feelings with the truth”. It’s a rather sad reality that I’m going to have to face. The state of my relationship with people is going to change and there is bound to be changes for the worse but hopefully, there would be changes for the better. To certain people, things weren’t that smooth in 2006 and I was disappointed but I’m hoping that it changes this year. I still hope and cling on to those relationships. Do you all?
To end off, the 9 of you mean a lot to me and I treasure my relationship with you all. Ohh, I probably made a reference to my relationship with each of you in the previous entry. =p And in the unlikely event that you all don’t know which are the 9 that I’m referring to, it’s Sammi, Gan Jie, Shao, Gloria, Isaac, Mel, Mei, Nes, Kor…
All the best for 2007! Blessed New Year!
2007 is going to be challenging. And the best part is that I’m the one who’s going to make my life challenging. I actually want to put in a decent amount of effort for my studies for once and see results. Although right now, it’s just words and there’s this fear that I’ll lose that spirit as the year goes on. There’s also the additional challenge of wanting to build up the Christian fellowship in school. Heehee. Am I intending to take on more than I can chew? Who knows?
Hmm… Shall have a paragraph of my hopes regarding relationships in 2007. The state of my relationship with various people have changed a lot in 2006 but as 2007 starts, I’m hoping that certain relationships don’t end up the way other relationships turn out. Ok. I’m being really vague, aren’t I? Oh well. Enough with the vague-ness already. There’s bound to be changes in 2007 and some of them are already starting to be very obvious. But I’m really hoping that there wouldn’t be this distance between various people and me. In 2006, certain relationships suffered. I don’t want to go through that again for the other relationships… However, to quote this line from a song, “But now, even I can tell, that I confused my feelings with the truth”. It’s a rather sad reality that I’m going to have to face. The state of my relationship with people is going to change and there is bound to be changes for the worse but hopefully, there would be changes for the better. To certain people, things weren’t that smooth in 2006 and I was disappointed but I’m hoping that it changes this year. I still hope and cling on to those relationships. Do you all?
To end off, the 9 of you mean a lot to me and I treasure my relationship with you all. Ohh, I probably made a reference to my relationship with each of you in the previous entry. =p And in the unlikely event that you all don’t know which are the 9 that I’m referring to, it’s Sammi, Gan Jie, Shao, Gloria, Isaac, Mel, Mei, Nes, Kor…
All the best for 2007! Blessed New Year!
Bye 2006…
Heehee. There’s a sudden increase in the amount of blog entries because I’ve been wanting to rant on during my trip about various things but since I didn’t use the computer there and my internet connection was down when I came back to Singapore, I had to type it on Word first.
Anyway, I want to sum up how 2006 has been for me. I used the word “heartache” to describe 2005. This round, the word I choose to sum up 2006 is “relationships”. Had a lot of time to think about stuff during the Thailand trip and just look back on everything…
In this case, relationships don’t refer to BGR or stuff like that, I’m talking about every single relationship. Relationship with my family, friends, etc… You get the idea.
Sure, 2006 was a year of adjustment and changes since I transferred to NUS High but really, my year was centred around relationships. What strikes me most about this year is my relationships with various people. Closer bonds and increasing distance in various relationships, new relationships formed, certain relationships lost? And some just remain the same. Yeps, last year really centred around the people around me. If it wasn’t for them, 2006 would have been totally different.
Because of changes in the state of certain relationships, my general mood changed for the better. Because of new relationships being formed, life was more light-hearted. Other relationships gave me the strength to go on while others caused me to be pulled down at times. It’s no surprise that 2006 has been quite a roller-coaster ride as usual. I’ve hit quite a few high points during the year but I’ve also been at the lowest ever during the year.
Enough for now about relationships. It’s time to look back on how I’ve changed over the past 1 year. Rather dramatic change in some areas? In other areas, I’m still the same. Physically… If my NAPFA results are anything to go by, that’s improved slightly. Thanks to mei for causing my 2.4 m timing to be better. =) Height and weight not much of a change. Haha. Unless you count the extra weight I’ve put on during the Thailand trip. But I’ll probably lose it soon. That’s almost always the case. Hmm. Academically, I was cruising most of the time so it shows in my results. Average or somewhere around there. Not surprising.
Next, the part that’s harder to gauge. Internally, how have I changed? Oh. I’m still rather emotional. That hasn’t changed for sure. But character wise, I’m really not that sure. Minor changes. Or maybe some things have been made more obvious in 2006. My priorities in 2006 certainly changed compared to previous years though. But internally, I didn’t change that much. At least, not that I think so…
Anyway, I want to sum up how 2006 has been for me. I used the word “heartache” to describe 2005. This round, the word I choose to sum up 2006 is “relationships”. Had a lot of time to think about stuff during the Thailand trip and just look back on everything…
In this case, relationships don’t refer to BGR or stuff like that, I’m talking about every single relationship. Relationship with my family, friends, etc… You get the idea.
Sure, 2006 was a year of adjustment and changes since I transferred to NUS High but really, my year was centred around relationships. What strikes me most about this year is my relationships with various people. Closer bonds and increasing distance in various relationships, new relationships formed, certain relationships lost? And some just remain the same. Yeps, last year really centred around the people around me. If it wasn’t for them, 2006 would have been totally different.
Because of changes in the state of certain relationships, my general mood changed for the better. Because of new relationships being formed, life was more light-hearted. Other relationships gave me the strength to go on while others caused me to be pulled down at times. It’s no surprise that 2006 has been quite a roller-coaster ride as usual. I’ve hit quite a few high points during the year but I’ve also been at the lowest ever during the year.
Enough for now about relationships. It’s time to look back on how I’ve changed over the past 1 year. Rather dramatic change in some areas? In other areas, I’m still the same. Physically… If my NAPFA results are anything to go by, that’s improved slightly. Thanks to mei for causing my 2.4 m timing to be better. =) Height and weight not much of a change. Haha. Unless you count the extra weight I’ve put on during the Thailand trip. But I’ll probably lose it soon. That’s almost always the case. Hmm. Academically, I was cruising most of the time so it shows in my results. Average or somewhere around there. Not surprising.
Next, the part that’s harder to gauge. Internally, how have I changed? Oh. I’m still rather emotional. That hasn’t changed for sure. But character wise, I’m really not that sure. Minor changes. Or maybe some things have been made more obvious in 2006. My priorities in 2006 certainly changed compared to previous years though. But internally, I didn’t change that much. At least, not that I think so…
Monday, January 01, 2007
Thailand trip
Whee! I’m back in Singapore after 2 weeks of being in Thailand. There’s quite a bit to blog about so whoever’s going to read this, happy reading! =p To give you a rough idea of how long this entry might be, let’s just say I wrote in my notebook during the trip and it took up 2 A4 sides and that’s just a record of what I did... Anyway, since there’s so much to blog about, I better organize my blogging a bit so I’m going to include the records from my notebook, which will be in italics, and then add on other comments and details day-by-day in the normal font. Here goes…
Day 1 (18/12): The trip could have started off better… Vomited right after lunch @ the budget terminal. Anyway, realized that the last time I took a plane ride was in Primary 4. Ohh, the view from above is really nice! –gushes over clouds-
Dinner was different was Singapore cuisine (duh!). Surprised myself by trying out dishes that were hot/spicy. At least I’m showing signs of improvement. =p
Next stop, night bazaar! Mostly, it was just window shopping. I like the furniture! Especially the design of the lights and lamps. Ack, I still miss that pair of pants that I didn’t buy…But it was rather overpriced. Pft.
[Heehee. For those who are about to kill me for not taking care or what, I’ve been ok throughout the trip. That was just a one-off incident. Yay! I can at least take a bit of spicy food now, I think. It’s actually more like I can take but normally, I choose not to. =p]
Day 2 (19/12): -teeth chatters- Bathing with cold water in the morning isn’t something I enjoy. BBQ chicken for lunch! –slurps– Oh yay, took pictures with my grandaunt’s dogs.
MBK! At least I have a chance to go there. Whee! My favourite shop of all time, NPB! (For clothes only..) Bought 5 shirts at 1 go, oops? But other than that, not much…
After walking around, it was time for some massage. Ahh… -dozed off- Yeps. Relaxing. Didn’t ache as much after that. Still have to catch a train tomorrow so off to bed now…
[Ack. Ended up eating BBQ chicken almost every day… Oh well. That’s probably part of the reason why I gained weight. I’m now 2 kg heavier. By the way, MBK’s a shopping centre and NPB’s a brand of clothes. Disclamer: I bought 5 shirts from there because it’s really cheap and I like the cut of the shirts. Mhmm. Heehee. Oh well.]
Day 3 (20/12): Writing this on the train… 12 hour ride from Bangkok to Chiangmai. One thing’s for sure, I sure caught up on my sleep… -gushes- I love staying at my uncle’s place! When I looked up at the sky, there were so many stars…
[Whoa… Long, long train ride. Mhmm. Mostly, I slept or listened to my mp3 player or read. =) Ohh! Uncle Phorn’s (second grandma’s son) place is NICE!! We stayed at this place throughout the whole time we were in Chiangmai. Cause he bought some land and built a few “houses” and so we stayed in one of them. It’s similar to a chalet? Yeps. A lot, a lot of stars in the sky. Couldn’t stop gushing when I first looked up.]
Day 4 (21/12): A long car ride up a mountain and then various stops on the way down.
Hmong village. Just walking and looking at the various shops. I have a growing obsession with stars. –eyes my bracelet- Rented the outfit of the Hmong people & took photos. =p
Next stop, the winter palace, a retreat of the royal family. There’s over 250 kinds of flowers there. 0.0 Very scenic but not much time to enjoy it all.
Went to the Chiangmai zoo for a few select exhibits only. The pair of panda bears, the koala bear exhibit and the deer exhibit. Just realized that deers have long eyelashes..
After dinner, it was time for the family to be dolled up in Thai costume. Everyone looks really different..
[Ohh, remembered the name of the mountain at long last. It’s Doi Suthep. Pretty, pretty flowers at Bhu Ping palace! Especially since the roses were in full bloom. Didn’t have much time at the zoo so only saw those few exhibits. The panda bears have a celebrity status of sorts since they were flown there from China, etc etc. Haha. The dolling up in Thai costume was a photo shoot of sorts. The whole family dressed up in Thai royal outfits to have our picture taken. For my mum and I, it meant doing our hair and having make-up put on too… That elaborate. The photographer has a very unique way of taking photos. He sings karaoke while taking the photos. Mhmm.]
Day 5 (22/12): Before lunch, made a detour to a shopping centre to look at pants. That overpriced pair of pants was in the shop. Bought it anyway..
After lunch, the flower show. Didn’t quite meet my expectations. But the floats at the end was rather impressive.
[Ahh. The same pair of pants that I saw in Bangkok was in the store. I went high when I first saw it and then when I saw the price tag, -cringe. Fortunately, my grandma bargained it down a bit. Oh well. I like that pair of pants.. Mhmm! The flower show I’m referring to is the Royal Flora exhibition in Chiangmai to commemorate the King’s 60th year on the throne. Maybe cause I prefer to see flowers rather than greenery, so I didn’t enjoy that place as much as Bhu Ping. Ohh. Whoever design the mascots of the exhibition is a clever person. 9 mascots in total, so imagine the amount of merchandise and souvenirs being sold. But they’re so cute! Haha. I even ran around the place trying to look for the drink stand so as to buy the cups with the mascot for my mum.]
Day 6 (23/12): Early morning wake-up call due to the need to get to Maesa elephant camp for a performance. Drawing, dancing, dart-throwing, etc done by elephants.. Then, a visit to see how umbrellas are made. Got my jeans and jacket painted. =)
Ended off the day with a massage session.
[This record was shorter since I reached the end of the page in my notebook. =p The paintings by the elephants are good! Considering that the paintings sold for a few thousand baht each. I still like the painting of the bonsai. But I wouldn’t have bought it anyway… Went to see how those traditional paper umbrellas are made. I’m super impressed with the handicraft. Each part of the umbrella is painstakingly handmade. And of course, I have to gush over the designs of the umbrella. Ohh! It’s really cool when all those who paint the umbrella seat in one row and provide painting services for your clothes, handphones, etc… For a price, of course. But very affordable. 50 Baht (around $2 plus?) Got my pair of jeans painted with some pink butterflies as to the design on my jacket… What else? Dolphins! –bounce- Haha. Shall bring the jacket to school to replace my black one, which I still can’t find.]
Day 7 (24/12): Had the chance to sleep in. =) After breakfast, went around looking for things to sketch. The price one has to pay for a chance to sketch roses: getting a tan on one side of my face. In total, 9 sketches. Quality-wise, not bad but can be improved.
Went to “People’s Walk” at night, walked about 1 km and bought lots of things. Yay! Bought a pressed flower lamp. Hmm.. What a way to spend Christmas eve..
[Bought a notebook the day before at the umbrella making center so used it to sketch. I’m rather proud of the sketches. Considering how long it’s been since I sketched anything. Oh. Disclaimer: Not all 9 sketches are of roses. Considering Jonathan asked me to draw the mascot plushie and various other things as well. Whee! I like the subjects of each sketch. Regarding the tan, I didn’t realize until my mum commented that one part of my cheek was darker than the rest. I don’t know the name of the place where we walked at night. But the direct translation is “The street where people walk” so yeps. My dad counted the number of lampposts and then multiplied it by the distance between each lamp so that’s how the 1 km came about. Still can’t believe I really bought a lamp and that my parents actually allowed! Whee! It’s like nice. Pressed paper flower lamp. Yeps.]
Day 8 (25/12): Blessed Christmas! Had to wake up early to go Doi Inthanon, a mountain. It’s the highest in Thailand. Went to the summit first and bought a jacket. =) The temperature was around 70C!
After that, drove to see two pagodas. The view from there is really spectacular. Blue sky, which was cloudless, and lots of greenery.
Last stop at the mountain: Mae Ya waterfall. –gush- Breathtaking.. Wish I could have spent more time there…
Other than Doi Inthanon, went to walk around a “village” of shops. There wasn’t really much that I like but got to say that I’m impressed with the handicraft.
[I like Doi Inthanon! That day was one of my favourite days during the trip. Had to wake up early (what’s new?) to drive there but it was worth it. The view’s breathtaking. Shall upload pictures onto my MSN space as soon as possible. I like the jacket I bought! It’s those kind which you pull over your head. Been looking for one so yeps, I like the one I bought! It’s black and has a hood and the design’s not bad. It’s just words saying that Doi Inthanon’s the highest mountain in Thailand and the exact height is there too. Mhmm. The view from outside the pagodas is really spectecular! You can see the mountains shrouded in clouds and the colour of the sky is really, really blue. Dad took one picture with his hand phone, which I sent to my phone almost immediately when we came back to Singapore. Very scenic place. Started gushing once I saw the waterfall (duh! It’s a waterfall!). But since there wasn’t much time, couldn’t stay there for long. Pft.]
Day 9 (26/12): A long drive from Chiangmai to Mae Hong Son. Around 300km and 1864 curves. Went to the village of “Longneck Karen”. Pft. Foreigners always have to pay more.. I like the handicraft! Shawls and handphone holder. =)
[Hired a minibus to drive the 10 of us up to Mae Hong Son. My parents, Jonathan, my grandma, my second grandaunt, her daughter (Auntie Yang), Uncle Phorn and his wife, Uncle Vincent and me. Mhmm. Long, long trip. Ended up sleeping a lot. Ohh. The part about the foreigners having to pay more is cause some locals charged us another 250 Baht for each tourist which meant my family and Uncle Vincent. In the end, my grandma bargained it down.. But still. It’s aggravating to have to pay more just because you’re not Thai. Sighs. Yay! I finally have a shawl that I can call my own. Been using my mum’s each time I needed one. Anyway, Auntie Yang bought the shawl for me. Cause I was looking at it and asking her to help me find out the price. It’s like a blue-green colour. Mhmm.]
Day 10 (27/12): Yet another long drive from Mae Hong Son to Pai. Stopped for lunch by the Pai river. After lunch, more driving, all the way to Chiangrai. Altogether, a rather uneventful day. Oh yes, did I mention that hitting your head on the minibus window repeatedly results in a particular part of your head to hurt, quite badly?
[Ok. The last line is due to the fact that when I fell asleep on the minibus, I ended up hitting my head against the window several times. And ouch, it hurt? So had 2 bruises for quite a few days. It was super irritating when that particular spot got itchy and I couldn’t scratch it cause it hurt to touch my head. Ack.]
Day 11 (28/12): Went to Doi Tung, the Queen Mother’s palace. The garden’s rather big and there’s a high quantity of flowers but not that much variety. A lot of nice scenes to sketch but didn’t have the time. Also walked around her villa. Very clear view of the mountains from there.
After Doi Tung, it was off to Mae Sai. Crossed over the border to Myanmar for a high amount, 600 Baht per head. A lot of jackets & imitation goods sold at the shops.
Last stop before heading back to Chiangmai, the Golden Triangle. Could see Laos and Myanmar from where we were. Finally back in Chiangmai now…
[Doi Tung is nice! Doi Tung and Doi Inthanon are my favourite places in Chiangmai! With the sole exception of Uncle Phorn’s place. The gardens are planted with a large quantity of flowers rather than a large variety but it’s still very scenic. And the flowers in full bloom are big! Bigger than my palm anyway. Didn’t really enjoy going to Mae Sai and crossing the border. Not much point anyway? The high fee that we had to pay was due to the fact that we’re … not Thai. Whee! Oh. Met the son of Uncle Phorn and he went back with us to Chiangmai. Mhmm.]
Day 12 (29/12): No programme planned so slept in. Walked around and sketched a bit. Lunch, followed by another sketch and then a 2 hour long nap. Tea-break, then last sketch of the day: a rose in full bloom. Watched the sunset alone from one of the houses.
After dinner, it was time for a karaoke session at our chalet. Sang til 11 plus, local time.
[The sunset was nice... Hmm. Karaoke session was rather interesting.]
Day 13 (30/12): Yet another massage session before going to the “People’s Walk” for one last shopping trip. Covered a lot more shops in a shorter amount of time. Went back to Uncle Phorn’s house and slept in the Thai-style “house”.
[There's not much to add on so I'll not add on. =p]
Day 14 (31/12): Last day of the trip. Woke up early and headed to the airport. Writing this on the plane now. 2 more hours til we reach Singapore, can’t wait to be back home.
[I'm back. What else is there to blog about? Oh. On the plane ride, realized how homesick I was. Pft.]
Day 1 (18/12): The trip could have started off better… Vomited right after lunch @ the budget terminal. Anyway, realized that the last time I took a plane ride was in Primary 4. Ohh, the view from above is really nice! –gushes over clouds-
Dinner was different was Singapore cuisine (duh!). Surprised myself by trying out dishes that were hot/spicy. At least I’m showing signs of improvement. =p
Next stop, night bazaar! Mostly, it was just window shopping. I like the furniture! Especially the design of the lights and lamps. Ack, I still miss that pair of pants that I didn’t buy…But it was rather overpriced. Pft.
[Heehee. For those who are about to kill me for not taking care or what, I’ve been ok throughout the trip. That was just a one-off incident. Yay! I can at least take a bit of spicy food now, I think. It’s actually more like I can take but normally, I choose not to. =p]
Day 2 (19/12): -teeth chatters- Bathing with cold water in the morning isn’t something I enjoy. BBQ chicken for lunch! –slurps– Oh yay, took pictures with my grandaunt’s dogs.
MBK! At least I have a chance to go there. Whee! My favourite shop of all time, NPB! (For clothes only..) Bought 5 shirts at 1 go, oops? But other than that, not much…
After walking around, it was time for some massage. Ahh… -dozed off- Yeps. Relaxing. Didn’t ache as much after that. Still have to catch a train tomorrow so off to bed now…
[Ack. Ended up eating BBQ chicken almost every day… Oh well. That’s probably part of the reason why I gained weight. I’m now 2 kg heavier. By the way, MBK’s a shopping centre and NPB’s a brand of clothes. Disclamer: I bought 5 shirts from there because it’s really cheap and I like the cut of the shirts. Mhmm. Heehee. Oh well.]
Day 3 (20/12): Writing this on the train… 12 hour ride from Bangkok to Chiangmai. One thing’s for sure, I sure caught up on my sleep… -gushes- I love staying at my uncle’s place! When I looked up at the sky, there were so many stars…
[Whoa… Long, long train ride. Mhmm. Mostly, I slept or listened to my mp3 player or read. =) Ohh! Uncle Phorn’s (second grandma’s son) place is NICE!! We stayed at this place throughout the whole time we were in Chiangmai. Cause he bought some land and built a few “houses” and so we stayed in one of them. It’s similar to a chalet? Yeps. A lot, a lot of stars in the sky. Couldn’t stop gushing when I first looked up.]
Day 4 (21/12): A long car ride up a mountain and then various stops on the way down.
Hmong village. Just walking and looking at the various shops. I have a growing obsession with stars. –eyes my bracelet- Rented the outfit of the Hmong people & took photos. =p
Next stop, the winter palace, a retreat of the royal family. There’s over 250 kinds of flowers there. 0.0 Very scenic but not much time to enjoy it all.
Went to the Chiangmai zoo for a few select exhibits only. The pair of panda bears, the koala bear exhibit and the deer exhibit. Just realized that deers have long eyelashes..
After dinner, it was time for the family to be dolled up in Thai costume. Everyone looks really different..
[Ohh, remembered the name of the mountain at long last. It’s Doi Suthep. Pretty, pretty flowers at Bhu Ping palace! Especially since the roses were in full bloom. Didn’t have much time at the zoo so only saw those few exhibits. The panda bears have a celebrity status of sorts since they were flown there from China, etc etc. Haha. The dolling up in Thai costume was a photo shoot of sorts. The whole family dressed up in Thai royal outfits to have our picture taken. For my mum and I, it meant doing our hair and having make-up put on too… That elaborate. The photographer has a very unique way of taking photos. He sings karaoke while taking the photos. Mhmm.]
Day 5 (22/12): Before lunch, made a detour to a shopping centre to look at pants. That overpriced pair of pants was in the shop. Bought it anyway..
After lunch, the flower show. Didn’t quite meet my expectations. But the floats at the end was rather impressive.
[Ahh. The same pair of pants that I saw in Bangkok was in the store. I went high when I first saw it and then when I saw the price tag, -cringe. Fortunately, my grandma bargained it down a bit. Oh well. I like that pair of pants.. Mhmm! The flower show I’m referring to is the Royal Flora exhibition in Chiangmai to commemorate the King’s 60th year on the throne. Maybe cause I prefer to see flowers rather than greenery, so I didn’t enjoy that place as much as Bhu Ping. Ohh. Whoever design the mascots of the exhibition is a clever person. 9 mascots in total, so imagine the amount of merchandise and souvenirs being sold. But they’re so cute! Haha. I even ran around the place trying to look for the drink stand so as to buy the cups with the mascot for my mum.]
Day 6 (23/12): Early morning wake-up call due to the need to get to Maesa elephant camp for a performance. Drawing, dancing, dart-throwing, etc done by elephants.. Then, a visit to see how umbrellas are made. Got my jeans and jacket painted. =)
Ended off the day with a massage session.
[This record was shorter since I reached the end of the page in my notebook. =p The paintings by the elephants are good! Considering that the paintings sold for a few thousand baht each. I still like the painting of the bonsai. But I wouldn’t have bought it anyway… Went to see how those traditional paper umbrellas are made. I’m super impressed with the handicraft. Each part of the umbrella is painstakingly handmade. And of course, I have to gush over the designs of the umbrella. Ohh! It’s really cool when all those who paint the umbrella seat in one row and provide painting services for your clothes, handphones, etc… For a price, of course. But very affordable. 50 Baht (around $2 plus?) Got my pair of jeans painted with some pink butterflies as to the design on my jacket… What else? Dolphins! –bounce- Haha. Shall bring the jacket to school to replace my black one, which I still can’t find.]
Day 7 (24/12): Had the chance to sleep in. =) After breakfast, went around looking for things to sketch. The price one has to pay for a chance to sketch roses: getting a tan on one side of my face. In total, 9 sketches. Quality-wise, not bad but can be improved.
Went to “People’s Walk” at night, walked about 1 km and bought lots of things. Yay! Bought a pressed flower lamp. Hmm.. What a way to spend Christmas eve..
[Bought a notebook the day before at the umbrella making center so used it to sketch. I’m rather proud of the sketches. Considering how long it’s been since I sketched anything. Oh. Disclaimer: Not all 9 sketches are of roses. Considering Jonathan asked me to draw the mascot plushie and various other things as well. Whee! I like the subjects of each sketch. Regarding the tan, I didn’t realize until my mum commented that one part of my cheek was darker than the rest. I don’t know the name of the place where we walked at night. But the direct translation is “The street where people walk” so yeps. My dad counted the number of lampposts and then multiplied it by the distance between each lamp so that’s how the 1 km came about. Still can’t believe I really bought a lamp and that my parents actually allowed! Whee! It’s like nice. Pressed paper flower lamp. Yeps.]
Day 8 (25/12): Blessed Christmas! Had to wake up early to go Doi Inthanon, a mountain. It’s the highest in Thailand. Went to the summit first and bought a jacket. =) The temperature was around 70C!
After that, drove to see two pagodas. The view from there is really spectacular. Blue sky, which was cloudless, and lots of greenery.
Last stop at the mountain: Mae Ya waterfall. –gush- Breathtaking.. Wish I could have spent more time there…
Other than Doi Inthanon, went to walk around a “village” of shops. There wasn’t really much that I like but got to say that I’m impressed with the handicraft.
[I like Doi Inthanon! That day was one of my favourite days during the trip. Had to wake up early (what’s new?) to drive there but it was worth it. The view’s breathtaking. Shall upload pictures onto my MSN space as soon as possible. I like the jacket I bought! It’s those kind which you pull over your head. Been looking for one so yeps, I like the one I bought! It’s black and has a hood and the design’s not bad. It’s just words saying that Doi Inthanon’s the highest mountain in Thailand and the exact height is there too. Mhmm. The view from outside the pagodas is really spectecular! You can see the mountains shrouded in clouds and the colour of the sky is really, really blue. Dad took one picture with his hand phone, which I sent to my phone almost immediately when we came back to Singapore. Very scenic place. Started gushing once I saw the waterfall (duh! It’s a waterfall!). But since there wasn’t much time, couldn’t stay there for long. Pft.]
Day 9 (26/12): A long drive from Chiangmai to Mae Hong Son. Around 300km and 1864 curves. Went to the village of “Longneck Karen”. Pft. Foreigners always have to pay more.. I like the handicraft! Shawls and handphone holder. =)
[Hired a minibus to drive the 10 of us up to Mae Hong Son. My parents, Jonathan, my grandma, my second grandaunt, her daughter (Auntie Yang), Uncle Phorn and his wife, Uncle Vincent and me. Mhmm. Long, long trip. Ended up sleeping a lot. Ohh. The part about the foreigners having to pay more is cause some locals charged us another 250 Baht for each tourist which meant my family and Uncle Vincent. In the end, my grandma bargained it down.. But still. It’s aggravating to have to pay more just because you’re not Thai. Sighs. Yay! I finally have a shawl that I can call my own. Been using my mum’s each time I needed one. Anyway, Auntie Yang bought the shawl for me. Cause I was looking at it and asking her to help me find out the price. It’s like a blue-green colour. Mhmm.]
Day 10 (27/12): Yet another long drive from Mae Hong Son to Pai. Stopped for lunch by the Pai river. After lunch, more driving, all the way to Chiangrai. Altogether, a rather uneventful day. Oh yes, did I mention that hitting your head on the minibus window repeatedly results in a particular part of your head to hurt, quite badly?
[Ok. The last line is due to the fact that when I fell asleep on the minibus, I ended up hitting my head against the window several times. And ouch, it hurt? So had 2 bruises for quite a few days. It was super irritating when that particular spot got itchy and I couldn’t scratch it cause it hurt to touch my head. Ack.]
Day 11 (28/12): Went to Doi Tung, the Queen Mother’s palace. The garden’s rather big and there’s a high quantity of flowers but not that much variety. A lot of nice scenes to sketch but didn’t have the time. Also walked around her villa. Very clear view of the mountains from there.
After Doi Tung, it was off to Mae Sai. Crossed over the border to Myanmar for a high amount, 600 Baht per head. A lot of jackets & imitation goods sold at the shops.
Last stop before heading back to Chiangmai, the Golden Triangle. Could see Laos and Myanmar from where we were. Finally back in Chiangmai now…
[Doi Tung is nice! Doi Tung and Doi Inthanon are my favourite places in Chiangmai! With the sole exception of Uncle Phorn’s place. The gardens are planted with a large quantity of flowers rather than a large variety but it’s still very scenic. And the flowers in full bloom are big! Bigger than my palm anyway. Didn’t really enjoy going to Mae Sai and crossing the border. Not much point anyway? The high fee that we had to pay was due to the fact that we’re … not Thai. Whee! Oh. Met the son of Uncle Phorn and he went back with us to Chiangmai. Mhmm.]
Day 12 (29/12): No programme planned so slept in. Walked around and sketched a bit. Lunch, followed by another sketch and then a 2 hour long nap. Tea-break, then last sketch of the day: a rose in full bloom. Watched the sunset alone from one of the houses.
After dinner, it was time for a karaoke session at our chalet. Sang til 11 plus, local time.
[The sunset was nice... Hmm. Karaoke session was rather interesting.]
Day 13 (30/12): Yet another massage session before going to the “People’s Walk” for one last shopping trip. Covered a lot more shops in a shorter amount of time. Went back to Uncle Phorn’s house and slept in the Thai-style “house”.
[There's not much to add on so I'll not add on. =p]
Day 14 (31/12): Last day of the trip. Woke up early and headed to the airport. Writing this on the plane now. 2 more hours til we reach Singapore, can’t wait to be back home.
[I'm back. What else is there to blog about? Oh. On the plane ride, realized how homesick I was. Pft.]
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