Actually wanted to blog a long post but due to time constraints...
Today had sci lesson and ms chee showed us the video on abortion
Hui Shi and kor had already prepared me for the "gruesomeness" of the video so i thot it'll b ok...
But as i watched the video, this sorrow just came from within me..
I had thought about past incidents.. So as the guy in the video was talking, i was like trying not to cry but failing... So by the time the video ended, I was like couldn't talk otherwise i'll cry somemore.. Then ms chee was like "if any1 feels uncomfortable after watching this video, u can come and talk to me." Then she came over to me and asked if i was alright. Nice of her but i just can't talk to her.. Asked Glo to just help me fend off comments and just escaped to the balcony.
But heard Lim Yu saying "This is all propaganda.." I don't know mayb i was too emotional but she was lucky i didn't go over and slap her or tell her to shut up... Those who know me know i'm hardly that angry but Lim Yu was lucky... When she laughed during the video, i was already quite upset at her and also bcos of bad memories...
Went to the balcony and just cried the pain out and sang christian songs and asked God to give me strength but still I couldn't help but feel upset... Thought I was strong enough and had put the past behind me but now, I realized the truth... Still am very emotional when it comes to this topic... But thanks to Glo, Shao and Hui Shi who cheered me up and comforted me, i stopped crying but it still hurt inside... Thanks Shao for making me laugh! =) decided to go venezia to cheer myself up and then even went to 7 eleven after that for slurpee but when I came back, I knew that i was still upset, just not showing it...
God, I know that there was a reason for what happened but please, I need you to give me the strength. I just can't survive through science, especially for this topic..
Those reading this, i'm choosing not to put the content of the video down cos there's no point. Refer to gan jie's blog... Cos if i write anymore, I'll break down again...
Gtg now. Rush out hw, where got the mood???
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Changes to my life..
Back from Malacca at long last even though it was only a 3d/2n trip...
It was my 6th time going there.. but this time, i spent so much $$... feels so guilty..
As usual, just went to the normal few places but each time I go malacca, there are a few things that i just must buy like keychains, batik shirt, etc...
Then ate like durian chendol that was so sweet... twice...
Breakfast was continental breakfast and my dad got me hooked on eating bread with butter and sugar.. Very sweet but doesn't really mattter, I have a sweet tooth...
Bought a nice necklace and decided to buy for my 3 closeset frenz too... Kor, relax, it's not those "girly" necklaces, i think u'll like it.
Just walked around, bought things, ate and slept. Quite relaxing actually
And of course, even though i brought hw there, who actually does hw during the holiday?? =p
Due to lack of space in the hotel room, i slept on the floor.. It was actually quite fun sleeping in the sleeping bag. Very cozy...
Not much more to write about other than my shock at the fact that i spent quite a bit on this trip and that i bought some things i didn't think i'll buy again... which equals to buying repeats of some souvenoirs...(is that how u spell it?) but anyway, was quite glad to b back in singapore. just missed blogging, msn, etc...Sigh, how addictive technology is..
Anyway, in the few hours i was back, just found out some things i wish i never found out... But then again, if i didn't find out, i would b kept in the dark which i dun like.. Conflicting, isn't it?? Oh, did i fail to mention that 2 nites ago, i had this dream that freaked me out... It seemed so real but if it comes true, my life will so be turned upside down... But sincerely hope it's just a dream...
Being quite random today cos in the mood to just rattle off. So sorry if my blog entry gets confusing...
It was my 6th time going there.. but this time, i spent so much $$... feels so guilty..
As usual, just went to the normal few places but each time I go malacca, there are a few things that i just must buy like keychains, batik shirt, etc...
Then ate like durian chendol that was so sweet... twice...
Breakfast was continental breakfast and my dad got me hooked on eating bread with butter and sugar.. Very sweet but doesn't really mattter, I have a sweet tooth...
Bought a nice necklace and decided to buy for my 3 closeset frenz too... Kor, relax, it's not those "girly" necklaces, i think u'll like it.
Just walked around, bought things, ate and slept. Quite relaxing actually
And of course, even though i brought hw there, who actually does hw during the holiday?? =p
Due to lack of space in the hotel room, i slept on the floor.. It was actually quite fun sleeping in the sleeping bag. Very cozy...
Not much more to write about other than my shock at the fact that i spent quite a bit on this trip and that i bought some things i didn't think i'll buy again... which equals to buying repeats of some souvenoirs...(is that how u spell it?) but anyway, was quite glad to b back in singapore. just missed blogging, msn, etc...Sigh, how addictive technology is..
Anyway, in the few hours i was back, just found out some things i wish i never found out... But then again, if i didn't find out, i would b kept in the dark which i dun like.. Conflicting, isn't it?? Oh, did i fail to mention that 2 nites ago, i had this dream that freaked me out... It seemed so real but if it comes true, my life will so be turned upside down... But sincerely hope it's just a dream...
Being quite random today cos in the mood to just rattle off. So sorry if my blog entry gets confusing...
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Unpredictable
My last blog entry's mood was depressed, upset, etc..
It'll be such a change from the blog entry today.. Qu guo tian qing le.
Yesterday, got some assignments back. Marks weren't lik very gd or what, but it's above average so quite satisfied lah..
Then bowling... It rocks! Went over to bowl with sufen, noreen, vanessa and xin yan. Finally had a chance to play game after so long... First game: 97, 2nd game: 114, 3rd game: 131! I know some might consider this low but at least it makes my average above 110, finally... Besides, 131's my new high score.. Then went home still in such a good mood and surfed the net til mum told me to take care of baby brother.. sighs.
Today was quite normal lah, the usual lesson, etc. Not much to blog abt actually other than the fact that hui shi has just infected me with this urge to decorate the front page of my notebooks just like her... Random quotes, lyrics, feelings all filled the cover.. You wouldn't understand til u see the notebook..
Now i know what to blog about... During assembly, Mr Tan showed this extracts from this blog.. This guy/gal was insulting Nanyang girls just because of one case then he fit all of us into this stereotype.. That's a bit unfair, don't you agree?? Never mind, shall not devote all the time to this guy. No point..
Got to go and rush out homework so bye bye.
It'll be such a change from the blog entry today.. Qu guo tian qing le.
Yesterday, got some assignments back. Marks weren't lik very gd or what, but it's above average so quite satisfied lah..
Then bowling... It rocks! Went over to bowl with sufen, noreen, vanessa and xin yan. Finally had a chance to play game after so long... First game: 97, 2nd game: 114, 3rd game: 131! I know some might consider this low but at least it makes my average above 110, finally... Besides, 131's my new high score.. Then went home still in such a good mood and surfed the net til mum told me to take care of baby brother.. sighs.
Today was quite normal lah, the usual lesson, etc. Not much to blog abt actually other than the fact that hui shi has just infected me with this urge to decorate the front page of my notebooks just like her... Random quotes, lyrics, feelings all filled the cover.. You wouldn't understand til u see the notebook..
Now i know what to blog about... During assembly, Mr Tan showed this extracts from this blog.. This guy/gal was insulting Nanyang girls just because of one case then he fit all of us into this stereotype.. That's a bit unfair, don't you agree?? Never mind, shall not devote all the time to this guy. No point..
Got to go and rush out homework so bye bye.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Disagreements... Sorry.
Hope i can verbalize my thoughts now about what has happened...
Today, it was the usual about Jared and his actions... I tried to defend him but that made matters worse... Hui Shi, Gloria and Shao, i know you think that Jared's a "foot-washing baptist" and that you will cling on to what you believe regardless of whatever i say. I have realized that all this retorting is wearing me down and in a way, affecting our friendship so from today onwards, i shall try my best not to make any comments on this subject...
Regarding our friendship, I shall address this once and for all. i treasure your friendship and i know that we have our differences. But this is driving us apart slowly... Hui Shi, what i m going 2 say won't b much of a surprise to u but for the rest... Ever since the end of last year, I knew that this year won't b easy and that our friendship would be put to the test.. You can blame me for that, it doesn't matter. I admit that I'm the one changing but even though it'll hurt if i lose ur friendship bcos i choose to follow my beliefs, I've been prepared for that.
Gan jie, i noe ur reaction. But I just want to say, you will always be my gan jie no matter what, whether you choose to accept my choice in changing my lifestyle and my beliefs, it doesn't matter... I want to be your friend and to be there for you. No matter what, I promise to lend you that listening ear...
To shao kor, I noe that when i change, you might not accept it, you will most probably give me the cold shoulder but kor, u'll always be my kor and no matter what, i'll always remember the fun i had bullying you... lol =p
Gloria, you listened to me and i thank you for that. But even though u will probably be able to accept the changes better than the rest, I know there are still areas in which we disagree... Glo, I had so much happiness laughing at ur "blurness" and I will always remember how you cheered me up even though you weren't in a too gd mood urself. Thanks
To all of you, I hope we can still be firm friends and be like last time, but that's not possible. What ever happens after this, thanks for being my friends and bring such happiness and joy to my life...
This blog sounds like I'm abt to leave you all or something, doesn't it? Dunno why i m writing all this but it just came out and i just typed it... Promise to get a tagboard soon for all ur comments...
Today, it was the usual about Jared and his actions... I tried to defend him but that made matters worse... Hui Shi, Gloria and Shao, i know you think that Jared's a "foot-washing baptist" and that you will cling on to what you believe regardless of whatever i say. I have realized that all this retorting is wearing me down and in a way, affecting our friendship so from today onwards, i shall try my best not to make any comments on this subject...
Regarding our friendship, I shall address this once and for all. i treasure your friendship and i know that we have our differences. But this is driving us apart slowly... Hui Shi, what i m going 2 say won't b much of a surprise to u but for the rest... Ever since the end of last year, I knew that this year won't b easy and that our friendship would be put to the test.. You can blame me for that, it doesn't matter. I admit that I'm the one changing but even though it'll hurt if i lose ur friendship bcos i choose to follow my beliefs, I've been prepared for that.
Gan jie, i noe ur reaction. But I just want to say, you will always be my gan jie no matter what, whether you choose to accept my choice in changing my lifestyle and my beliefs, it doesn't matter... I want to be your friend and to be there for you. No matter what, I promise to lend you that listening ear...
To shao kor, I noe that when i change, you might not accept it, you will most probably give me the cold shoulder but kor, u'll always be my kor and no matter what, i'll always remember the fun i had bullying you... lol =p
Gloria, you listened to me and i thank you for that. But even though u will probably be able to accept the changes better than the rest, I know there are still areas in which we disagree... Glo, I had so much happiness laughing at ur "blurness" and I will always remember how you cheered me up even though you weren't in a too gd mood urself. Thanks
To all of you, I hope we can still be firm friends and be like last time, but that's not possible. What ever happens after this, thanks for being my friends and bring such happiness and joy to my life...
This blog sounds like I'm abt to leave you all or something, doesn't it? Dunno why i m writing all this but it just came out and i just typed it... Promise to get a tagboard soon for all ur comments...
One week, mood swings yet again...
Just a quick blog entry about MEW (Maths Enrichment Workshop) first... Then will get to the main purpose of today's entry...
MEW was quite fun lah... The games were ok lah. Fav part was the maths trail... Turns out some of the places i was quite familiar with so teammates thot i very "pro"... you ze zhong shi?? Sigh, wish i could have entered jigsaw puzzle world though..
Don't really feel like blogging abt MEW so it's just this few lines, more details, ask me in person/thru email. But i doubt any1 of u all that wu liao...
Fast foward to Sat.. Forgot that I had CSP and went for piano or at least was on the way there, when Vanessa called. Thanks Vanessa for calling me otherwise i die liao. Went sungei buloh and spotted cute, cute squirrel... then later spotted countless mudskippers and crabs.. Then was sent back to sch where i realized never bring wallet... So had to ask strangers for coins.. So weird?
Went church to help with the worship experience decorations but half way went for cell. Cell was quite fun lah, play some games then later was released a bit late. I couldn't help but rush down to the chapel just to see the decorations... So sad... I couldn't stay for the worship experience, had to go for hong ming kor kor's wedding.
Went there then sat thru all those ceremony.. But when I heard the wedding vows being spoken, i couldn't help but get a bit bitter...
Flashback to the past...
When some people said these vows yet just because of his character, he broke it... What do these vows even mean to him?? Was it just words that he said? He caused my tears... the sorrow, the pain. I wasn't the only one affected but did he care? NO! I'm normally not so bitter and i thot i forgived him but still, I can't help being bitter. He promised and made the vow, was given chances time and time again but? He still chose the other route not caring abt me... But that was just the start.. Several years after, he actually kept his remarriage a secret from me! It seems as if he doesn't hold me in regard... Even til today, what he does is still hard to forgive.. I tried to forgive but i can't forget...
Told my mum abt it at night and she agreed with me and tried to cheer me up.. It worked, slightly. But now, i've realized. Each time i hear the wedding vow being said... I will b sceptical and remember him and how he broke it...
Note: Those who understand, good... Those who don't, think... But i'm being selective of what info u pple will noe...
Today... went into that debate with hui shi, shao and glo about some issues.. I feel... torn
On one side are my friends, on the other, my religion and my beliefs... I just can't put my thots into words but i'll like to use the lyrics of this song...
Your word is a light unto my path
Your word guides me through my darkest light
And even though sometimes your ways I cannot understand
I'll never walk away beacuse my future's in your hand...
I don't care what people will say, I'm running after you
I won't turn back and go their way, I'm running after you
No matter what may come my way, I'm running after you
It's you I'm following today, I'm running after you...
Hui Shi, in reply to your blog entry... I know that you are willing to be there for me and for all of us but still... There are a few reasons why I don't turn to you...
1) Different stand on some issues...
2) Feel more comfortable talking to people who don't really know me cos that equals to "I don't care what they think", but if i talk to you, glo or shao, I'll be too conscious of your reactions
3) Don't want to burden you further, you have your own problems...
These are mainly the reasons... Thanks for offering and i will turn to you but for now, you're not the most suitable choice. No offence, i hope...
That's all for now... Too much things that i can't verbalize...
MEW was quite fun lah... The games were ok lah. Fav part was the maths trail... Turns out some of the places i was quite familiar with so teammates thot i very "pro"... you ze zhong shi?? Sigh, wish i could have entered jigsaw puzzle world though..
Don't really feel like blogging abt MEW so it's just this few lines, more details, ask me in person/thru email. But i doubt any1 of u all that wu liao...
Fast foward to Sat.. Forgot that I had CSP and went for piano or at least was on the way there, when Vanessa called. Thanks Vanessa for calling me otherwise i die liao. Went sungei buloh and spotted cute, cute squirrel... then later spotted countless mudskippers and crabs.. Then was sent back to sch where i realized never bring wallet... So had to ask strangers for coins.. So weird?
Went church to help with the worship experience decorations but half way went for cell. Cell was quite fun lah, play some games then later was released a bit late. I couldn't help but rush down to the chapel just to see the decorations... So sad... I couldn't stay for the worship experience, had to go for hong ming kor kor's wedding.
Went there then sat thru all those ceremony.. But when I heard the wedding vows being spoken, i couldn't help but get a bit bitter...
Flashback to the past...
When some people said these vows yet just because of his character, he broke it... What do these vows even mean to him?? Was it just words that he said? He caused my tears... the sorrow, the pain. I wasn't the only one affected but did he care? NO! I'm normally not so bitter and i thot i forgived him but still, I can't help being bitter. He promised and made the vow, was given chances time and time again but? He still chose the other route not caring abt me... But that was just the start.. Several years after, he actually kept his remarriage a secret from me! It seems as if he doesn't hold me in regard... Even til today, what he does is still hard to forgive.. I tried to forgive but i can't forget...
Told my mum abt it at night and she agreed with me and tried to cheer me up.. It worked, slightly. But now, i've realized. Each time i hear the wedding vow being said... I will b sceptical and remember him and how he broke it...
Note: Those who understand, good... Those who don't, think... But i'm being selective of what info u pple will noe...
Today... went into that debate with hui shi, shao and glo about some issues.. I feel... torn
On one side are my friends, on the other, my religion and my beliefs... I just can't put my thots into words but i'll like to use the lyrics of this song...
Your word is a light unto my path
Your word guides me through my darkest light
And even though sometimes your ways I cannot understand
I'll never walk away beacuse my future's in your hand...
I don't care what people will say, I'm running after you
I won't turn back and go their way, I'm running after you
No matter what may come my way, I'm running after you
It's you I'm following today, I'm running after you...
Hui Shi, in reply to your blog entry... I know that you are willing to be there for me and for all of us but still... There are a few reasons why I don't turn to you...
1) Different stand on some issues...
2) Feel more comfortable talking to people who don't really know me cos that equals to "I don't care what they think", but if i talk to you, glo or shao, I'll be too conscious of your reactions
3) Don't want to burden you further, you have your own problems...
These are mainly the reasons... Thanks for offering and i will turn to you but for now, you're not the most suitable choice. No offence, i hope...
That's all for now... Too much things that i can't verbalize...
Monday, March 14, 2005
Time flies...
Been a week since i blogged, so b prepared for a rather long entry...
Wednesday: Start of lifeskills camp.. Had to plan how to advertise NY to this yr's P6 Geppers... Most of the time, we (Glo, Hui Shi, Shao and I) were just slacking and planning on going out this thurs.. Then someone came up with the great idea to invite him lah, then was forced to otherwise, the alternatives were worse... Then after that, sat through some workshops on "Peak Performance" but most of it was taught b4... So most of us weren't paying attention and frustrated the teacher to death... After 4-5 hrs of that, had to play some games in the school. Ok lah, will survive.. Then, finally dinner. But then me and Glo didn't feel like eating so just shared one pack and we still couldn't finish... After dinner, went audi to watch TKAM. Very nice, Jem, Scout and Dill all looked so cute. Problem was: I was very sleepy and had to struggled to keep awake. Thank goodness I brought doggie along. Finally the show ended and it was supposed to be lights out. But most of us didn't really care. actually, we planned on waking up at 11:40pm to resume playing cards, but we were too tired and just fell asleep.
Thursday: Went Costa Sands.The first part of the day was just team building activities... And they taught us some "romantic" dance... Rite... Then had western for lunch. Quality of food: ok lah.. not as bad as Wed's dinner. Then changed into swimming costume for later water activies. Had river crossing which really fell short of expectations. So short! But when we came out of there, realized Glo got scratched by twigs. Some cuts on her knee and ankle.. Then washed up and wore just swimming costumes... Sigh, all the comments after that. Thanks gan jie for getting all the attention, i was spared.. oops? Then went to the pool and had some games, quite fun lah. Then finally can bathe but toilets too packed so most of us just changed. dinner, then preparation fo campfire item. Campfire was really a let-down. Poor lightings so couldn't see much... By the time, it finally ended, it was 10 plus. In the end, only reached back 2 sch 12mn. Fell asleep quite fast
Friday: Last day, had telematch then cleaning up then the final debrief cum prize presentation. Wow, our class actually won 2 prizes! Prizes were All junk food! Yummy.. Reached hm, bathe and just chilled out by watching Princess Diaries 2, finally... After months of waiting. Show was quite cliche but the songs were quite nice. Tempted to get the soundtrack...
Sat: Went for IMprint course, quite fun, learned quite a lot. Shall not elaborate too much otherwise i'll never end this blog entry.. Then service... felt out of place again, no big surprise. Was quite relieved when service ended. That's so not like me. Guess was feeling out of sorts.. Then at hm, Dad was giving me a "mini" lecture, sigh.. A day that looked ok turned out so bad.
Sun: yu guo tian qing... It was quite ok lah, went grandma's hse in the afternoon 2 celebrate her b'dae. Saw Glo (couz) there. Pleasant surprise. Talked to her so much and then went downstairs for a walk... Sad that i didn't bring money out. So much nice things at the christian bookshop...
Today: it seemed to be a normal day til Dad called. Asked me to take a look at the newspaper article abt Friendster and said would talk to me tonite. That equals bad news. My day is spoiled... Trying to be optimistic but just can't....
That's all for now. No longer in blogging mood.
Wednesday: Start of lifeskills camp.. Had to plan how to advertise NY to this yr's P6 Geppers... Most of the time, we (Glo, Hui Shi, Shao and I) were just slacking and planning on going out this thurs.. Then someone came up with the great idea to invite him lah, then was forced to otherwise, the alternatives were worse... Then after that, sat through some workshops on "Peak Performance" but most of it was taught b4... So most of us weren't paying attention and frustrated the teacher to death... After 4-5 hrs of that, had to play some games in the school. Ok lah, will survive.. Then, finally dinner. But then me and Glo didn't feel like eating so just shared one pack and we still couldn't finish... After dinner, went audi to watch TKAM. Very nice, Jem, Scout and Dill all looked so cute. Problem was: I was very sleepy and had to struggled to keep awake. Thank goodness I brought doggie along. Finally the show ended and it was supposed to be lights out. But most of us didn't really care. actually, we planned on waking up at 11:40pm to resume playing cards, but we were too tired and just fell asleep.
Thursday: Went Costa Sands.The first part of the day was just team building activities... And they taught us some "romantic" dance... Rite... Then had western for lunch. Quality of food: ok lah.. not as bad as Wed's dinner. Then changed into swimming costume for later water activies. Had river crossing which really fell short of expectations. So short! But when we came out of there, realized Glo got scratched by twigs. Some cuts on her knee and ankle.. Then washed up and wore just swimming costumes... Sigh, all the comments after that. Thanks gan jie for getting all the attention, i was spared.. oops? Then went to the pool and had some games, quite fun lah. Then finally can bathe but toilets too packed so most of us just changed. dinner, then preparation fo campfire item. Campfire was really a let-down. Poor lightings so couldn't see much... By the time, it finally ended, it was 10 plus. In the end, only reached back 2 sch 12mn. Fell asleep quite fast
Friday: Last day, had telematch then cleaning up then the final debrief cum prize presentation. Wow, our class actually won 2 prizes! Prizes were All junk food! Yummy.. Reached hm, bathe and just chilled out by watching Princess Diaries 2, finally... After months of waiting. Show was quite cliche but the songs were quite nice. Tempted to get the soundtrack...
Sat: Went for IMprint course, quite fun, learned quite a lot. Shall not elaborate too much otherwise i'll never end this blog entry.. Then service... felt out of place again, no big surprise. Was quite relieved when service ended. That's so not like me. Guess was feeling out of sorts.. Then at hm, Dad was giving me a "mini" lecture, sigh.. A day that looked ok turned out so bad.
Sun: yu guo tian qing... It was quite ok lah, went grandma's hse in the afternoon 2 celebrate her b'dae. Saw Glo (couz) there. Pleasant surprise. Talked to her so much and then went downstairs for a walk... Sad that i didn't bring money out. So much nice things at the christian bookshop...
Today: it seemed to be a normal day til Dad called. Asked me to take a look at the newspaper article abt Friendster and said would talk to me tonite. That equals bad news. My day is spoiled... Trying to be optimistic but just can't....
That's all for now. No longer in blogging mood.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Mood swings?
Long time no blog cos just didn't feel like it..
So to summarize everything real fast, wasn't in a very gd mood these few days.
On Sunday, some person had to get me so frustrated and I was controlling my anger and trying not to raise my voice at that person. I mean, can't u b considerate of other's feelings? But nvm.
Then yesterday, realized that I've not been keeping my promise. I've been compromising and following the world. I worry. I've start to grow immune to the sins around me. It took a few days b4 my eyes were open. Next time, how long would it take? Would I even realize that I'm sinning? Feeling so depressed so during class time, went 2 the balcony and just sit/stand there and look at the clouds, sing some christian songs. It was so peaceful there but my problems still bothered me. Thanks Glo for realizing that something was up, u left me alone. That was the rite choice. I needed the peace.
Went home, still in that mood. Decided may as well talk to someone who mite actually understand how i feel. Glo, u do understand but not enough. You're one of the few that actually listens to me instead of the other way round. That someone, thanks for the advice and the sharing. U've told me how 2 face the challenges. It wouldn't b easy but I shall try my best. God will give me the strength. I never really knew u yet u listened, thanks for that.
Glo, when reading this, u'll noe what i'm talking abt but pls keep it 2 urself...
Then today, went 2 the HSBC Treetop Walk. Wasn't what i expected.
However, when on the bridge, looking at my surroundings, I was just reminded of this song:
~Who compares to you
Who set the stars in their place
You who calm the raging sea
That came crashing over me
Who compares to you
You who bring the morning light
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in your great love~
It was so calm, so peaceful. I wish we could have stayed that longer..
Not much more 2 blog abt..
Oh ya, will b off to camp for the nest 2 1/2 days. B back on fri. Will try to blog.
So to summarize everything real fast, wasn't in a very gd mood these few days.
On Sunday, some person had to get me so frustrated and I was controlling my anger and trying not to raise my voice at that person. I mean, can't u b considerate of other's feelings? But nvm.
Then yesterday, realized that I've not been keeping my promise. I've been compromising and following the world. I worry. I've start to grow immune to the sins around me. It took a few days b4 my eyes were open. Next time, how long would it take? Would I even realize that I'm sinning? Feeling so depressed so during class time, went 2 the balcony and just sit/stand there and look at the clouds, sing some christian songs. It was so peaceful there but my problems still bothered me. Thanks Glo for realizing that something was up, u left me alone. That was the rite choice. I needed the peace.
Went home, still in that mood. Decided may as well talk to someone who mite actually understand how i feel. Glo, u do understand but not enough. You're one of the few that actually listens to me instead of the other way round. That someone, thanks for the advice and the sharing. U've told me how 2 face the challenges. It wouldn't b easy but I shall try my best. God will give me the strength. I never really knew u yet u listened, thanks for that.
Glo, when reading this, u'll noe what i'm talking abt but pls keep it 2 urself...
Then today, went 2 the HSBC Treetop Walk. Wasn't what i expected.
However, when on the bridge, looking at my surroundings, I was just reminded of this song:
~Who compares to you
Who set the stars in their place
You who calm the raging sea
That came crashing over me
Who compares to you
You who bring the morning light
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in your great love~
It was so calm, so peaceful. I wish we could have stayed that longer..
Not much more 2 blog abt..
Oh ya, will b off to camp for the nest 2 1/2 days. B back on fri. Will try to blog.
Friday, February 25, 2005
So many things, so little time
Due to time constraints, I will have to squeeze/summarize everything that happened for the past wk into one short entry..
19/2: Glo and Shao came to my church for E.D.G.E!!! But b4 that, went serene for a drink first... I treated =( Nvm... then went to church and found chloe and "reunited" those 3... FYI, Glo, Shao and Chloe from same primary school... Then, Glo and Shao had lots of fun... Shall not elaborate. E.D.G.E was quite nice, very close to everyone's heart... This feeling that there's something lacking in your life.... But fastfoward to dinner. Went with chloe, glo and shao to serene (again!) for dinner.. They had so much fun and laughter from the conversation we were having... couldn't help but agree that dinner was really funny... I was really blurred during dinner... Wasn't observant, happy now, Glo??
20/2: Not much, just slacking and more slacking...
21/2: Bah! They cancelled Maths Olympiad training after all this trouble i went thru deciding... Nvm, at least now more time to myself... Got new bowling uniform. 1 red top and 1 white top... Have 2 wait til B div competition then can wear... so sad.
22/2: Chinese test, was cramming away b4 chinese.
23/2: History test
24/2: Science test... Got back CL marks... 74/100.... Ok lah... A2, short of 1 mark to A1!!!! Ah.... Shall work harder... The teachers got bad planning, so many test in one week...
Today: Got addicted to jazz jackrabbit, had ite.. Mr Ngiow never come so "free" period, but had to do maths ws. Then Ms Ow read out a poem written by her to the class.... =p lol, not bad lah, but then again, she's an el teacher, her poems should of course b of a gd quality... Not much liao. Oh ya, during recess, bought 3 cups of almond jelly that the guides were selling. Like it cos very sweet...
19/2: Glo and Shao came to my church for E.D.G.E!!! But b4 that, went serene for a drink first... I treated =( Nvm... then went to church and found chloe and "reunited" those 3... FYI, Glo, Shao and Chloe from same primary school... Then, Glo and Shao had lots of fun... Shall not elaborate. E.D.G.E was quite nice, very close to everyone's heart... This feeling that there's something lacking in your life.... But fastfoward to dinner. Went with chloe, glo and shao to serene (again!) for dinner.. They had so much fun and laughter from the conversation we were having... couldn't help but agree that dinner was really funny... I was really blurred during dinner... Wasn't observant, happy now, Glo??
20/2: Not much, just slacking and more slacking...
21/2: Bah! They cancelled Maths Olympiad training after all this trouble i went thru deciding... Nvm, at least now more time to myself... Got new bowling uniform. 1 red top and 1 white top... Have 2 wait til B div competition then can wear... so sad.
22/2: Chinese test, was cramming away b4 chinese.
23/2: History test
24/2: Science test... Got back CL marks... 74/100.... Ok lah... A2, short of 1 mark to A1!!!! Ah.... Shall work harder... The teachers got bad planning, so many test in one week...
Today: Got addicted to jazz jackrabbit, had ite.. Mr Ngiow never come so "free" period, but had to do maths ws. Then Ms Ow read out a poem written by her to the class.... =p lol, not bad lah, but then again, she's an el teacher, her poems should of course b of a gd quality... Not much liao. Oh ya, during recess, bought 3 cups of almond jelly that the guides were selling. Like it cos very sweet...
Friday, February 18, 2005
Indecision... Strength needed, again...
~I lay my life down at ur feet, cos u're the only one I need,
I turn to you and you are always there...
In troubled times, it's you i seek, I put u first, that's all i need,
I humble all i am, all to u...
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for ~
Sigh.. Now thinking of whether to go for Maths Olympiad.
Some of my friends aren't really helping with the decision. I'm just getting more confused.
I know that I really want to go but hesitation creeps in when realize that i'll b alone and that it'll take up my free time.
I just feel so lost again. Maybe the real problem isn't about Maths Olympiad, it's just the last straw that breaks me.. I can't absorb all this at once. I too need someone to spare me a listening ear but who? And when will that person come into my life?
Problems just all come and sure, every1 can deal with one or two problems but when all combined together and u're all alone? Without ur family and friends there to support and guide you through?
I know that my family will be there for me but now, both my parents are not well and i just dun want to trouble them, just want to let them rest and recuperate. My mum is stressed out at work already, i dun want her to worry about me too...
So God's the only one I can turn to now but... I hope to hear from God soon..
I'll have to tell the teacher-in-charge by the end of the school day latest..
I shall be strong and try to focus on one problem at a time..
I turn to you and you are always there...
In troubled times, it's you i seek, I put u first, that's all i need,
I humble all i am, all to u...
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for ~
Sigh.. Now thinking of whether to go for Maths Olympiad.
Some of my friends aren't really helping with the decision. I'm just getting more confused.
I know that I really want to go but hesitation creeps in when realize that i'll b alone and that it'll take up my free time.
I just feel so lost again. Maybe the real problem isn't about Maths Olympiad, it's just the last straw that breaks me.. I can't absorb all this at once. I too need someone to spare me a listening ear but who? And when will that person come into my life?
Problems just all come and sure, every1 can deal with one or two problems but when all combined together and u're all alone? Without ur family and friends there to support and guide you through?
I know that my family will be there for me but now, both my parents are not well and i just dun want to trouble them, just want to let them rest and recuperate. My mum is stressed out at work already, i dun want her to worry about me too...
So God's the only one I can turn to now but... I hope to hear from God soon..
I'll have to tell the teacher-in-charge by the end of the school day latest..
I shall be strong and try to focus on one problem at a time..
Monday, February 14, 2005
Happy Valentine's Day!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ! (to everyone)
Who ever said that valentine's day was only for couples??
I disagree...
Cos my mum also wishes me happy valentine's day and gives me present...
Lucky me, rite?
Cos went jurong point with parents to look at jewellery..
Dad was buying for mum then i just tagged along..
Then to cut long story short, cos mum asking me to get offline..
Went jigsaw puzzle shop to buy frame for the 1000 pc jigsaw puzzle..
but saw something i like, then parents buy for me.
950pcs disney character puzzle!! Yippee!
Then i went toys r us to buy doggie for jonathan.. So cute..
Going to take and cuddle once in a while
Gtg liao. That's all for now.
Who ever said that valentine's day was only for couples??
I disagree...
Cos my mum also wishes me happy valentine's day and gives me present...
Lucky me, rite?
Cos went jurong point with parents to look at jewellery..
Dad was buying for mum then i just tagged along..
Then to cut long story short, cos mum asking me to get offline..
Went jigsaw puzzle shop to buy frame for the 1000 pc jigsaw puzzle..
but saw something i like, then parents buy for me.
950pcs disney character puzzle!! Yippee!
Then i went toys r us to buy doggie for jonathan.. So cute..
Going to take and cuddle once in a while
Gtg liao. That's all for now.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
CNY here again...
Quite a bit 2 blog about...
Tue had CNY celebrations in school then just 2 irritate kor, wore a pink shirt... =)
Then after CNY celebrations, I rushed back to HPPS with hui shi, gloria and kor.
Just said "hi" to the teachers then rushed down 2 quadrangle where everyone else was there. Everyone = sammi, teresa, most of the boys...
Then talked to sammi and teresa and watch the boys attempt to play soccer... (boys, dun kill me, k?)
Was running btw HPPS frenz and NYGH frenz...
But a while b4 i left, the rest of the RI boys came... Bad timing...
Some people really haven't changed lor... But nvm..
Oh ya, 4got 2 mention that kor shouted "Jose" so loudly just for fun... We were being wu liao lah..
Kor just gave Jose a new nickname.. "Mr Sunshine"... He wore bright yellow lor..
Then after that, gan jie forced me to say "bye" to Nicolas before I could go...
Then sammi also agreed and made me go over to where Nicolas was lor...
Unfair! Then after that, went j8 to have lunch and walk around.
Went comics connection and the 4 of us bought matching crosses... Just different colours..
Then went gaga over the things in gift-a-name.. And as usual, took neoprints.
After that, saw michael and elisha...
That's another long story... Not going 2 bother...
Then first day of cny, not much, just the usual visiting of family members...
Oh ya... couz and her boyfriend and my mum had fun teasing me lor...
Cos i was about 2 follow couz and boyfriend to the boyfriend's relatives hse..
Then couz's boyfriend said something like "I have many male cousins." then mum started making comments and couz promised to see whether got any suitable guys...
Sigh... My mum! believe it or not???
Then watched "Seoul Raiders" at 11:20...
Wah! Very tired after that.. Only slept at 2..
Then today, went visiting... in a pink cheongsam.
Kor, if u read this, dun crinch...
Couz had fun messing with my hair and put eyeshadow for me...
Mum asked me not 2 wear my specs somemore...
Very tiring lah... Everything a bit blurred...
No choice lah. Only once a year. Whew!
Better go now lah. Getting a bit tired...
Tue had CNY celebrations in school then just 2 irritate kor, wore a pink shirt... =)
Then after CNY celebrations, I rushed back to HPPS with hui shi, gloria and kor.
Just said "hi" to the teachers then rushed down 2 quadrangle where everyone else was there. Everyone = sammi, teresa, most of the boys...
Then talked to sammi and teresa and watch the boys attempt to play soccer... (boys, dun kill me, k?)
Was running btw HPPS frenz and NYGH frenz...
But a while b4 i left, the rest of the RI boys came... Bad timing...
Some people really haven't changed lor... But nvm..
Oh ya, 4got 2 mention that kor shouted "Jose" so loudly just for fun... We were being wu liao lah..
Kor just gave Jose a new nickname.. "Mr Sunshine"... He wore bright yellow lor..
Then after that, gan jie forced me to say "bye" to Nicolas before I could go...
Then sammi also agreed and made me go over to where Nicolas was lor...
Unfair! Then after that, went j8 to have lunch and walk around.
Went comics connection and the 4 of us bought matching crosses... Just different colours..
Then went gaga over the things in gift-a-name.. And as usual, took neoprints.
After that, saw michael and elisha...
That's another long story... Not going 2 bother...
Then first day of cny, not much, just the usual visiting of family members...
Oh ya... couz and her boyfriend and my mum had fun teasing me lor...
Cos i was about 2 follow couz and boyfriend to the boyfriend's relatives hse..
Then couz's boyfriend said something like "I have many male cousins." then mum started making comments and couz promised to see whether got any suitable guys...
Sigh... My mum! believe it or not???
Then watched "Seoul Raiders" at 11:20...
Wah! Very tired after that.. Only slept at 2..
Then today, went visiting... in a pink cheongsam.
Kor, if u read this, dun crinch...
Couz had fun messing with my hair and put eyeshadow for me...
Mum asked me not 2 wear my specs somemore...
Very tiring lah... Everything a bit blurred...
No choice lah. Only once a year. Whew!
Better go now lah. Getting a bit tired...
Monday, February 07, 2005
Should i care?
Thanks so much people...
For making me cry, the one thing that I have tried not to do...
But the pain hurts so much.. I just want all this to end.
But you dun understand the hurt inside of me as I see you doing this to urself...
I have never cried for someone not related me by blood...
But now, the hurt inside me is too much to bear...
Please spare me...
Ya sure, I can ignore all this but I just can't...
When i care for someone, I care for that person with all my heart....
I give up... I shall try 2 stop b4 i say things i regret...
But seriously, this shall be the first and last time I ever care for someone the way I cared for gan jie!
For making me cry, the one thing that I have tried not to do...
But the pain hurts so much.. I just want all this to end.
But you dun understand the hurt inside of me as I see you doing this to urself...
I have never cried for someone not related me by blood...
But now, the hurt inside me is too much to bear...
Please spare me...
Ya sure, I can ignore all this but I just can't...
When i care for someone, I care for that person with all my heart....
I give up... I shall try 2 stop b4 i say things i regret...
But seriously, this shall be the first and last time I ever care for someone the way I cared for gan jie!
Tired of ... everything
~ Each time I am risen up, I am thrown down again.
I thought you were my friend but...
Everyday I am wounded but i just can't show it.
I smile and laugh along with you but...
Inside I protest and just wish you would stop.
You might ask why i dun speak up but...
Once i do, u just turn ur back on me
So what do you expect me 2 do?
Smile at you or just walk away? ~
Each time i stop getting depressed, it's only for a short while.
All those around me, they just make me so tired.
Ya sure, i can lend a listening ear anytime, but who will sit and listen to me?
I'm the friend that everyone turns to for help but who will be my friend?
Even those who call themselves my friends, sure...
They are my friends but they still wound me and leave me all alone to solve my problems.
I know that what they're doing is not the solution but at times... i think of joining them
Maybe one day, I shoud just stop thinking with my heart and just be cold as ice.
Being part of the world yet not existing.
Creating a void in me, removing all emotions then we shall see...
Yet, my conscience prevents me from doing that..
Even when my friends are hurting me, I can't bear to turn away from them...
Is what I am doing hurting or helping them?
I only have so much strength to last.. One day, all strength will leave me..
But will u all regret doing this to me? I don't think so...
You'll just carry on with your lives and throw me aside...
Walking away... Should I? Or should i just end this all?
I thought you were my friend but...
Everyday I am wounded but i just can't show it.
I smile and laugh along with you but...
Inside I protest and just wish you would stop.
You might ask why i dun speak up but...
Once i do, u just turn ur back on me
So what do you expect me 2 do?
Smile at you or just walk away? ~
Each time i stop getting depressed, it's only for a short while.
All those around me, they just make me so tired.
Ya sure, i can lend a listening ear anytime, but who will sit and listen to me?
I'm the friend that everyone turns to for help but who will be my friend?
Even those who call themselves my friends, sure...
They are my friends but they still wound me and leave me all alone to solve my problems.
I know that what they're doing is not the solution but at times... i think of joining them
Maybe one day, I shoud just stop thinking with my heart and just be cold as ice.
Being part of the world yet not existing.
Creating a void in me, removing all emotions then we shall see...
Yet, my conscience prevents me from doing that..
Even when my friends are hurting me, I can't bear to turn away from them...
Is what I am doing hurting or helping them?
I only have so much strength to last.. One day, all strength will leave me..
But will u all regret doing this to me? I don't think so...
You'll just carry on with your lives and throw me aside...
Walking away... Should I? Or should i just end this all?
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Hiya, not much to blog about this few days lah..
Try out my new bowling ball, not very used to it...
Oh ya, I have a new kor, two actually but nvm..
One's elie(is that how u spell) kor kor and hiroshi kor... Yes, I shall admit that hiroshi is my kor, not my di, happy now, hui shi??
Then have 2 rush out b'dae cards somemore..
Bah!
Try out my new bowling ball, not very used to it...
Oh ya, I have a new kor, two actually but nvm..
One's elie(is that how u spell) kor kor and hiroshi kor... Yes, I shall admit that hiroshi is my kor, not my di, happy now, hui shi??
Then have 2 rush out b'dae cards somemore..
Bah!
Monday, January 31, 2005
Me happy for now...
So much happened on sat and sunday but not enough time to blog so here's a summarized version of what happened...
Finally, my piano arrived after 7 years of learning piano...
But not tuned yet so it sounds horrible..
Rushed for cell and had to run to catch the bus but conviently 4got that i strained my thigh muscle so after boarding the bus, my leg started hurting and i only ran 100m!!!
Then cell was quite fun, played a game then started sharing our goals for the year.
Then after that, went 2 manna to buy the hillsong piano score bk that i've been eyeing for 3 weeks.. Finally...
Then was checking out the book... So nice... start obsessing over hillsong...
Then service... I dun noe why, but church is the one place where I seem to cry or at least shed tears very often... And i always feel especially guilty..
But fast foward to sunday!
Went for IMprint meeting and heard about the different sections. Then after that, fill in sign-up form and finally chose illustrations as first choice..
then rushed to grandma's hse 2 help with spring cleaning then went to marina to buy my new bowling ball! Yah! now got reactive one liao.. =)
After that, went back and do some hw and then went auntie's hse for her b'dae celebration then rushed hm 2 clear up somemore hw and only slept at 11...
A rather busy sunday...
That's all lah
i want to go and play the piano liao... bye pples.
Finally, my piano arrived after 7 years of learning piano...
But not tuned yet so it sounds horrible..
Rushed for cell and had to run to catch the bus but conviently 4got that i strained my thigh muscle so after boarding the bus, my leg started hurting and i only ran 100m!!!
Then cell was quite fun, played a game then started sharing our goals for the year.
Then after that, went 2 manna to buy the hillsong piano score bk that i've been eyeing for 3 weeks.. Finally...
Then was checking out the book... So nice... start obsessing over hillsong...
Then service... I dun noe why, but church is the one place where I seem to cry or at least shed tears very often... And i always feel especially guilty..
But fast foward to sunday!
Went for IMprint meeting and heard about the different sections. Then after that, fill in sign-up form and finally chose illustrations as first choice..
then rushed to grandma's hse 2 help with spring cleaning then went to marina to buy my new bowling ball! Yah! now got reactive one liao.. =)
After that, went back and do some hw and then went auntie's hse for her b'dae celebration then rushed hm 2 clear up somemore hw and only slept at 11...
A rather busy sunday...
That's all lah
i want to go and play the piano liao... bye pples.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Just so tired..
Warning: Entry might be depressing...
Ok, thanks to some people who have turned my life upside down and yet, I can't say a thing...
Why do i even bother to consider other's feelings? That's one of my strong points yet one of my weakness...
Today, was already so tired mentally and physically from school, then still got CCA.
I suspect i strained my leg muscle during bowling on tue but still go 4 PE and CCA...
Then just couldn't take the lessons today, especially the last lesson of the day... Was so tired and watching the mainstream people walk past our class didn't help...
They're released half an hour earlier...
Then in bowling, was so inconsistent cos ball too light...
Coach asked me to get 12 pound liao but then problem arises...
Get from where? Friends and coach say different thing so i m stuck in between...
Then when come home, turns out internet server busy so had to release stress by playing "virtual cop 2".
Dun care if the game was lame, it help me cooled down... Quite accurate shooting somemore... 91% accuracy...
Thank goodness internet back on... Hopefully when i wake up tmr, it'll b a brand new day... n i'll feel better...
Ok, thanks to some people who have turned my life upside down and yet, I can't say a thing...
Why do i even bother to consider other's feelings? That's one of my strong points yet one of my weakness...
Today, was already so tired mentally and physically from school, then still got CCA.
I suspect i strained my leg muscle during bowling on tue but still go 4 PE and CCA...
Then just couldn't take the lessons today, especially the last lesson of the day... Was so tired and watching the mainstream people walk past our class didn't help...
They're released half an hour earlier...
Then in bowling, was so inconsistent cos ball too light...
Coach asked me to get 12 pound liao but then problem arises...
Get from where? Friends and coach say different thing so i m stuck in between...
Then when come home, turns out internet server busy so had to release stress by playing "virtual cop 2".
Dun care if the game was lame, it help me cooled down... Quite accurate shooting somemore... 91% accuracy...
Thank goodness internet back on... Hopefully when i wake up tmr, it'll b a brand new day... n i'll feel better...
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Obsession over?
Back to blogging as a break from work.
Monday, went to Jurong Point and then was just window shopping...
Looking at all the things I want but cannot have...
Went to jigsaw puzzle shop to inquire about price of jigsaw puzzle frame cos completed 1000 pcs jigsaw puzzle last year then never frame yet...
Then while waiting for her to call the other shops to see where there was stock, I looked at the jigsaw puzzles in the shop and took so long...
There were my usual favourites: Disney princesses (1000 pcs) and one very nice one of most Disney characters... 2000 pcs!!! Then, those very nice glow-in the dark dolphin jigsaw puzzles and also the cute puppies!
Then afterwards, went to Life bookshop to check whether they have the hillsong piano score book...
Been obsessing over it for few weeks liao... Have to wait til this sat b4 can buy from church bkshop..
Then went to some other shops with also cute things...
Gift-A-Name is so nice lor! So many new things since I last went! Everything seems so cute!!!
I m crazy liao, want to buy so many things!
Oh ya, did I mention that I will have a piano this sat? Finally! After 7 years of using my cousin's piano! A piano that I can call my own...
Can't wait...
And maybe, just maybe, a new bowling ball this sunday...
After all, the coach did ask me to buy one soon so have to check with parents...
Oh ya, have music for my blog liao... Song is "One Way" by Hillsong...
Warning: Music is very loud!!
Gtg now... And update wishlist! lol
Monday, went to Jurong Point and then was just window shopping...
Looking at all the things I want but cannot have...
Went to jigsaw puzzle shop to inquire about price of jigsaw puzzle frame cos completed 1000 pcs jigsaw puzzle last year then never frame yet...
Then while waiting for her to call the other shops to see where there was stock, I looked at the jigsaw puzzles in the shop and took so long...
There were my usual favourites: Disney princesses (1000 pcs) and one very nice one of most Disney characters... 2000 pcs!!! Then, those very nice glow-in the dark dolphin jigsaw puzzles and also the cute puppies!
Then afterwards, went to Life bookshop to check whether they have the hillsong piano score book...
Been obsessing over it for few weeks liao... Have to wait til this sat b4 can buy from church bkshop..
Then went to some other shops with also cute things...
Gift-A-Name is so nice lor! So many new things since I last went! Everything seems so cute!!!
I m crazy liao, want to buy so many things!
Oh ya, did I mention that I will have a piano this sat? Finally! After 7 years of using my cousin's piano! A piano that I can call my own...
Can't wait...
And maybe, just maybe, a new bowling ball this sunday...
After all, the coach did ask me to buy one soon so have to check with parents...
Oh ya, have music for my blog liao... Song is "One Way" by Hillsong...
Warning: Music is very loud!!
Gtg now... And update wishlist! lol
Monday, January 24, 2005
Shao's b'dae
Weekend too busy so never blog..
Fri, went to Shao's hse... lol
Ate pizza and then later started wrecking the kitchen with cornflakes..
Mixed chocolate with cornflakes, raisins, lime and lemon bits... Yummy.. Very sweet.
Played with shao's puppies! So cute!
I want to hug muffin and pet regal...
I miss the dogs...
Oh ya, we helped hui shi overcome her fear of dogs or at least those two.
Then brought the dogs for a walk to the park and then went to shell to buy water for us and the dogs..
However, the dogs not used to drinking from our hands so had to wait til we went back to shao's hse..
When walking back, passed a hse that was not locked and a big dog came out!
Glo started running til shao told her to stop.
Shao was trying so hard to calm the big doggie down.Luckily, we reached shao's hse b4 the dog came after us! Whew!
Then after a while, was the bbq..
We were "force-fed" by kor's family..
Then after eating, go play with the dogs again!!
Finally left at 9:30pm...
So sad...
Then sat, had to miss cell and church cos meeting mum's friends...
Went to Geylang for durian. Had durian for dinner!
Then went to mum's friend's hse and only left at 10!
Severe lack of sleep!
Fri, went to Shao's hse... lol
Ate pizza and then later started wrecking the kitchen with cornflakes..
Mixed chocolate with cornflakes, raisins, lime and lemon bits... Yummy.. Very sweet.
Played with shao's puppies! So cute!
I want to hug muffin and pet regal...
I miss the dogs...
Oh ya, we helped hui shi overcome her fear of dogs or at least those two.
Then brought the dogs for a walk to the park and then went to shell to buy water for us and the dogs..
However, the dogs not used to drinking from our hands so had to wait til we went back to shao's hse..
When walking back, passed a hse that was not locked and a big dog came out!
Glo started running til shao told her to stop.
Shao was trying so hard to calm the big doggie down.Luckily, we reached shao's hse b4 the dog came after us! Whew!
Then after a while, was the bbq..
We were "force-fed" by kor's family..
Then after eating, go play with the dogs again!!
Finally left at 9:30pm...
So sad...
Then sat, had to miss cell and church cos meeting mum's friends...
Went to Geylang for durian. Had durian for dinner!
Then went to mum's friend's hse and only left at 10!
Severe lack of sleep!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Quizssss
You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.
What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Your Hidden Power Is Water
You have a rather calm soul, but when tempted
will get pissed off at those who bug you. You
do whatever you can in your powers to help
those of your allies and have a okay taste for
human kind, but you find them rather annoying
on occasions.
Gem Stone: Saphire, Eye Color:Ice
Blue,Hair Color:Dark Blue that's long
that goes to your waist.
Quote:If you wait for meThen I'll come for you. Although I've travelled
far, I always hold a place for youIn my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me
once in a while, Then I'll return to you. I'll
return and fill that space in your heart
What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
brought to you by Quizilla
You're like me ^.^ You feel alone sometimes, but
you will survive. Just remember that you got
alot of friends that will help you get trough
when you got problems.Think more positive ^_~
If you don't have friends, you have to be
carefull, depression isn't far away... Plzz
rate
~~Are you a bit Depressed? Are you Happy?~~*With Anime pics*
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Yeh, got a new piano on tue! So happy but have 2 wait til 29/1 b4 they can deliver...
Guess my mood is quite gd now...
Can't wait 2 go shao's hse tmr and mayb... wreck the kitchen! lol
Kor, relax lar, we'll clean up, or at least i think so!
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Just slacking 4 a while...
Sheesh, just the third week of the year and so many problems...
It's like all my problems snowballed and just hit me at the same time.
Have anyone of you ever feel that you don't fit in?
You long to fit in but you just can't?
Example: In church, i only have those few friends that I can talk to and sometimes when i'm with them, it still seems like i dun exist. I dun noe. Maybe it's just me but still I feel that although i'm more comfortable in church now compared to last time, I still feel that I dun belong completely.
There is this clique?
Btw, if any1 from church reads this and feels bothered, sorry. It's not intentional but this are what I feel at times..
I guess rite now, I'm trying to find out who I really am. Not just being someone else just to fit in and make friends. I dun noe, this mite seem vague but i feel like i've lost my identity.
Compared now to the times when we were younger, then all our problems seem so trivial. but life was still so peaceful and happy, this pure happiness...
Now, my life is still filled with happiness but of a different kind...
Ok, what I've been saying doesn't make sense, rite? sigh...
It's like all my problems snowballed and just hit me at the same time.
Have anyone of you ever feel that you don't fit in?
You long to fit in but you just can't?
Example: In church, i only have those few friends that I can talk to and sometimes when i'm with them, it still seems like i dun exist. I dun noe. Maybe it's just me but still I feel that although i'm more comfortable in church now compared to last time, I still feel that I dun belong completely.
There is this clique?
Btw, if any1 from church reads this and feels bothered, sorry. It's not intentional but this are what I feel at times..
I guess rite now, I'm trying to find out who I really am. Not just being someone else just to fit in and make friends. I dun noe, this mite seem vague but i feel like i've lost my identity.
Compared now to the times when we were younger, then all our problems seem so trivial. but life was still so peaceful and happy, this pure happiness...
Now, my life is still filled with happiness but of a different kind...
Ok, what I've been saying doesn't make sense, rite? sigh...
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