Woohoo. I'm finally online after 3 days. Been going to church and spending more time there than i've been at home. From wed to fri, been staying there from around 9am to 9pm.. Not bad, ain't it? Anyway, shall write a long entry about the youth conference cos it rocks! Yep, i'm hyper in case u didn't realize!! =)
Tue Nite
Concert only for Passion! Minisstry youths. It was a good start to the IGNYTE conference! The sermon talked about now being a time for Divine Confrontation and talking about sin... That was the really freaking part about how things that the youths of this generation think as normal is actually worshipping of other gods like Baal.. Cutting of yourself, abortion, witchcraft, pornography... i noe not all youths think of these as normal but all these is actually an indirect worship of other gods.. Didn't realized it till now.. Then the altar call was about choosing our allegiance. Whether we are going to stand with God or not, there should be no neutral party cos that's equal to siding with the devil.. Ya.. made me realize that I should really make my stand.. Thanks to the concert, was hyper when I went home.. Couldn't sleep til 11 plus, 12...
Wed
IGNYTE conference. Was supposed to be for SPs, leaders.. But guess some of us were invited.. And i still don't really understand why. But nvm. it was fun and i learned quite a bit. The workshop was really educational, talking about how to nurture others, makes me really wish that i could have signed up for the previous SP course but due to conflicting schedules.. Sighs.. Nvm. There'll always b the next one..
We were split up into groups for lunch and for games.. Had to bribe hannah tan to eat the honeydew.. Lol. The games were quite fun, i guess. The one where we were blindfolded was a bit scary cos we climbed up and down stairs, etc... then the victory dance was really funny. seeing the whole group do those actions. still laughing whenever i think about it.. but ya.. enjoyed myself.. something i didn't think was really possible since i'm not really close to the SPs, leaders, etc... expected to felt out of place but in the end, everything turned out quite ok..
Dinner at adam hawker centre.. Finally, a break from Macs. =p Then went for prayer meeting. Sermon was about building a house of Godly influence by arming ourself. sighs.. realized how much i haven't been arming myself.. not reading the Bible consistently.. And letting other things take up so much of my time... Like the computer.. I know i'm on the computer now but at least I'm blogging about the conference so ya..
Thur
More games.. Morning devotion... Lunch. Coming up with cheers. Then the games stations.. Some were kinda gross.. the sticking of masking (spelling?) tape to your feet and then later pass it back to the adult leader and they were to be recycled.. and yes, we were all barefooted.. Balancing of marble between ur nose and your lips... and doing funny actions.. Captain ball with ping pong ball, stealing from other teams if you can.. Lol. directing your team mate who's blindfolded to retrieve coloured balls without using words.. so imagine all the sounds that we had to invent.. Then the trying to burst balloons tied around opponents's ankle while defending your own.. Time flew when we were having fun..
Met glo and shao at macs for dinner... Too bad chloe had to rush for.. Shao almost killed me, i guess... But luckily, i survived.. Unfair pple, bullying me.. purposely planned my b'dae present 2 mths in advance.. Making me suffer from curiousity. Hmph. Met kenneth, glo's team mate from the nus camp then went back to church for the concert.. Everyone was so hyper.. atmosphere was so .. suitable? But ya.. The happiness that comes from worshipping.. can't describe it with words. anyway, jerry from singapore idol came as a special guest.. Sang 2 songs and kinda shared his life story..
Then the sermon.. had to try not to smirk cos some of the content seemed to fit kor so nicely.. but ya.. shao never accpept God as her Lord and Saviour.. until... to be continued.. i went up for altar call without glo and shao and just longed for the fire of God.. As usual, full of energy after that and was jumping in front.. leaving shao and glo on their own after that... there was this adult who kept talking to shao and when i went back to my seat.. turns out shao said "yes" to receiving God.. but i knew it couldn't be that way.. so later.. after asking shao.. she said "yes" only to keep the adult quiet.. Only shao can do something like that. felt like laughing and hitting my head against the wall at the same time...
Fri
morning devotion.. one quote i feel like throwing in.. "love doesn't make the world go round, but love is what makes the ride worthwhile." the pastor shared this cos he was talking about 'IGNYTE your Passion!" About remembering your first love, God. Repent and Revival.. The repent part especially spoke to me... Oh the illustration about vertical passion for God and horizontal compassion for souls... Interesting... And reminds me of what i haven't been doing.. altar call.. meaningful. But only now do i realize that there are still things i haven't let out..
The workshops... signed up for "Believe it or not- facts, fiction, faith" and "It only takes a spark". You probably can guess the content of the workshops from the title but shall elaborate.. Believe it or not was talking about how do we noe what is real. A bit of discussion about the Da Vinci Code which is a fiction in case u didn't noe.. Most things in there are really just lies.. But ya.. Went for a quick lunch then came "It only takes a spark". Talks about relationships, crushes, etc... Differentiating infatuation (crushes) from love... Shall not list down everything but ya.. the course was interesting.. but also impactful... i guess? If you want to know more, i still have the notes... but dun want to just throw everything in here.. it'll be quite a lot.. Rounding up of the conference..So sad.. wanted this to just continue.. there was this satisfaction in just doing this for so many days... Being in church, learning about God.
Dinner. At Macs again... Then later.. a minor food fight.. with fries.. Lol. Actually, me and delia started it... I didn't throw anything but watched and laughed away… and ya.. prompted delia to continue.. oops.. dun kill me after this, k? walking back to church.. full of jokes and laughter.. Then the concert.. I didn’t feel that hyper compared to thurs.. dunno why though.. jerry came again.. Hannah, Chelsea & Christabel decided to shout "We love you, Jerry!" … Lol.. Laughing away lor.. Sermon was about the fire of God.. The sense of urgency.. the never knowing when the people around you would die.. and then you’ll realize you missed a chance to tell them about God.. A lot of things was said.. But after the altar call, I became high.. Really hyper.. jumping about.. and everything.. but it was a nice way to end everything….
Sat
Youth service cancelled cos youths serving for Parent's day.. responsible for giving gifts to the parents... Then the sermon.. The times that i felt like punching the wall.. felt like crying. past memories... The sermon was about Leadership in the Family thru serving others.. Serving with heart of love, effectively giving, serving with fervent prayer... Altar call.. God just spoke to me.. The past came back.. things i didn't realize all seem so clear.. I cried.. The sorrow in my heart.. Thanks for the support, gals.. My frenz realized my sorrow.. Their encouragement and comfort warmed my heart.. Didn't expect so many of them to care.. but ya. realized that i've been fed lies by the devil.. But after my own problems, the friends around me too broke down.. Why? Why is it that happiness never last long.. Things got emotional.. Dinner, sambal stingray, sambal sotong & kangkong.. some of them felt like eating chilli so ya.. brought it to macs and ate outside.. the mood was weird.. sometimes laughter, sometimes anger. walking back to church.. opening up our hearts.. but still.. i noe that the problems that each of us face are still there.. hopefully, with God's love and His strength, we can get through all this. And we must really open up to each other.. jo & bel, if u ever read this, you'll understand.. there are still things we're not telling each other, that i'm sure of.. but let's help each other, k?
P.S. sorry about spelling, grammer, punctuation.. had to rush thru this over 2 days... lack of time.. some things r vague, i realized. no time to elaborate. sorry.
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Monday, June 13, 2005
Holidays
Been busy so haven't been blogging.. Even now, I'm supposed to be finishing my holiday homework but have to do a quick entry first, k?
5-7 Jun
Stayover at my dad's house with my cousins. Basically just slacking away playing PS2, computer games, gameboy advance sp and television. Had most fun dancing away and maintaining my previous standard? Really miss the arcade, i guess. So was just slacking. Normally slept at 2,3 in the morning.. Then wake up at 10 or 1... yep. I woke up at 1 in the afternoon on one day. =p
8 Jun
Went over to auntie's hse and watched dvd with another cousin. Then later, she brought me for karaoke with her friends. That was fun. Surprisingly, i knew most of the songs even though it was mostly chinese. Started singing at 7:30pm and ended at 10:45pm? Not bad... Want to elaborate more but due to time constraints... Maybe some other time.
9- 10 Jun
NUS camp at Science Centre... Shalln't write much about it though.. Had to report at 8 in the morning.. We were all splited up... "We" referring to the 5 of us in our class that applied. So went and sat with my group. The usual division between guys and girls.. So our group was quite quiet? Had some chemistry activities first in the lab.. Then after that a break... Then more science activities.. Lunch, then the building of a rocket.. Trying to launch it and everything... Then got briefed about the take home experiment.. At first, everyone found it hard but in the end, most of us either discussed online or ask parents, etc.. And finished the experiment.
The second day was math and biology activities. The math activity was a bit hard.. But we managed to get some answers. Then the biology race was fun. Our group beat the fastest timing by 5 mins... =) But had to wait til the end before knowing whether we won or not.. =( Then there was the preparation for the presentation of the take home experiment. That was quite funny.. One of the guy had this unique presenting style, problem is there was a lot of flaws in his presentation.. Oh ya, our mentor was kind enough to treat us to ice cream after lunch. Anyway, prize presentation. Our group won 2 prizes.. Surprise, surprise. We only expected to win one. =) So that concluded the whole camp. Dunno how was my performance in the camp... Shall have to wait and see whether i get in or not.. I really dunno whether i want to enter nus or not.. See how lah.
11 Jun
Piano lesson, cell outing, service.
Cell outing was fun, went west coast park. loitered around then later went orchard to take neoprints. only the girls went lah. spent around $40, plus minus a bit... Then rushed back to church. Sermon was about family.. At first i thought it didn't relate to me.. I mean my family is quite happy and not much problems.. Until... I thought about my father... Those who know my family story would know what I mean.. I started being a bit moody. Thinking about why I didn't try to spread God's Word to my father. Could it be because of what happened? And i still beared a grudge.. I really didn't noe.. Had to go out to altar call and just release all possible anger once again. Felt better after that. Went manna and bought a cute doggie bookmark.. The bible verse should help encourage myself.. =)
12 Jun
Went for lunch with relatives... Then later went orchard road. window shopping.. but ended up spending $50 on a skirt and a top.. White skirt.. Quite innocent?? Then the top... well.. wouldn't bother describing it. Had fun walking around with my relatives lah.. Looking foward to another trip to orchard but this time, only with my mum. =) Oh ya, found out jonathan had chicken pox. So he and my mum will be staying at home with me. Good. I won't be that lonely then. =)
5-7 Jun
Stayover at my dad's house with my cousins. Basically just slacking away playing PS2, computer games, gameboy advance sp and television. Had most fun dancing away and maintaining my previous standard? Really miss the arcade, i guess. So was just slacking. Normally slept at 2,3 in the morning.. Then wake up at 10 or 1... yep. I woke up at 1 in the afternoon on one day. =p
8 Jun
Went over to auntie's hse and watched dvd with another cousin. Then later, she brought me for karaoke with her friends. That was fun. Surprisingly, i knew most of the songs even though it was mostly chinese. Started singing at 7:30pm and ended at 10:45pm? Not bad... Want to elaborate more but due to time constraints... Maybe some other time.
9- 10 Jun
NUS camp at Science Centre... Shalln't write much about it though.. Had to report at 8 in the morning.. We were all splited up... "We" referring to the 5 of us in our class that applied. So went and sat with my group. The usual division between guys and girls.. So our group was quite quiet? Had some chemistry activities first in the lab.. Then after that a break... Then more science activities.. Lunch, then the building of a rocket.. Trying to launch it and everything... Then got briefed about the take home experiment.. At first, everyone found it hard but in the end, most of us either discussed online or ask parents, etc.. And finished the experiment.
The second day was math and biology activities. The math activity was a bit hard.. But we managed to get some answers. Then the biology race was fun. Our group beat the fastest timing by 5 mins... =) But had to wait til the end before knowing whether we won or not.. =( Then there was the preparation for the presentation of the take home experiment. That was quite funny.. One of the guy had this unique presenting style, problem is there was a lot of flaws in his presentation.. Oh ya, our mentor was kind enough to treat us to ice cream after lunch. Anyway, prize presentation. Our group won 2 prizes.. Surprise, surprise. We only expected to win one. =) So that concluded the whole camp. Dunno how was my performance in the camp... Shall have to wait and see whether i get in or not.. I really dunno whether i want to enter nus or not.. See how lah.
11 Jun
Piano lesson, cell outing, service.
Cell outing was fun, went west coast park. loitered around then later went orchard to take neoprints. only the girls went lah. spent around $40, plus minus a bit... Then rushed back to church. Sermon was about family.. At first i thought it didn't relate to me.. I mean my family is quite happy and not much problems.. Until... I thought about my father... Those who know my family story would know what I mean.. I started being a bit moody. Thinking about why I didn't try to spread God's Word to my father. Could it be because of what happened? And i still beared a grudge.. I really didn't noe.. Had to go out to altar call and just release all possible anger once again. Felt better after that. Went manna and bought a cute doggie bookmark.. The bible verse should help encourage myself.. =)
12 Jun
Went for lunch with relatives... Then later went orchard road. window shopping.. but ended up spending $50 on a skirt and a top.. White skirt.. Quite innocent?? Then the top... well.. wouldn't bother describing it. Had fun walking around with my relatives lah.. Looking foward to another trip to orchard but this time, only with my mum. =) Oh ya, found out jonathan had chicken pox. So he and my mum will be staying at home with me. Good. I won't be that lonely then. =)
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Enjoying myself? I hope so.
Hmm.. Realized my blog entries have been a bit serious so this one shall be quite carefree and humourous?
Yesterday, CIP... Hmm... Went around asking people to donate money. Flag Day mah.. Then realized that I'm actually more thick-skinned than I thought.. Actually dared to go up to strangers and asked for donations, regardless of gender, age, race, etc... Warmed up quite fast and got quite a bit of donations. Then after a while (1hr or so) , took a break. Needed a sugar boost. So got some milo then it was straight back to work.. Started at 8 and only stopped at 10 plus for a half an hour break. then went around in the hot sun in the middle of orchard road to get more donations..
After that, met up with HPPS gals. Teresa, Nikki, Fishie, Sammi and Melody. Mel's not from HPPS but she came along anyway. Had lunch. Walked around. Memories came back... Cos we walked past Famous Amos and a little booth that sold those personalized gifts.. Yep, primary school memories just can't seem to fade. Played cards. Tempted to go into arcade courtesy of someone.. But ya, restrained myself. Had to admit though, quite sure I can still play at my previous standard.. =P a bit egoistic, i have to admit. Then watched Monster-in-law. Had a good laugh, something i really needed.
After that, walking from Cineleisure to Taka...That was a laugh... Thanks to Sammi and Fishie, there was quite a interesting conversation about er... forget it. Anyway, the discussion was whether it was hygenic or not.. About at least marrying for the experience of having it. Basically, the conversation consisted about all these and more... But to have this conversation in the middle of Orchard Road... Lol. It was funny lah. But had to pretend not to know those two...
Then walked around in Kino for a while, looked at books, anime, manga, etc.. Went Kalms and started looking at the cute Tatty Teddys.. Sammi was going crazy about it lor... =) Then joined them for a quick dinner then headed for family carecell.
For gel, my mum asked us to do some personality test and guess what? I managed to predict my results quite well... I mean, I guess i would be quite in the centre.. Turns out I'm an introvert but my second strongest is that i'm an extrovert.. Interesting, isn't it.. Anyway, the strengths of the introvert was supposedly suffers in silence? as a wife, would listen to husband.. rite.. that is so not me lah. Faithful, guess so. Diplomatic? Nah. Got good insights. What a joke.. Good to have in "conflict"? Not sure.. Weakness for an introvert was fearful, unmotivated, indecisive...Quite true. Very slow to get their thoughts out.. Depends. very compromising... Yep. I think so. Got will of iron. At times. Quite stubborn way. Sometimes. Need external motivation. Yep. Guess I'm really phlegmatic then. =)
Yesterday, CIP... Hmm... Went around asking people to donate money. Flag Day mah.. Then realized that I'm actually more thick-skinned than I thought.. Actually dared to go up to strangers and asked for donations, regardless of gender, age, race, etc... Warmed up quite fast and got quite a bit of donations. Then after a while (1hr or so) , took a break. Needed a sugar boost. So got some milo then it was straight back to work.. Started at 8 and only stopped at 10 plus for a half an hour break. then went around in the hot sun in the middle of orchard road to get more donations..
After that, met up with HPPS gals. Teresa, Nikki, Fishie, Sammi and Melody. Mel's not from HPPS but she came along anyway. Had lunch. Walked around. Memories came back... Cos we walked past Famous Amos and a little booth that sold those personalized gifts.. Yep, primary school memories just can't seem to fade. Played cards. Tempted to go into arcade courtesy of someone.. But ya, restrained myself. Had to admit though, quite sure I can still play at my previous standard.. =P a bit egoistic, i have to admit. Then watched Monster-in-law. Had a good laugh, something i really needed.
After that, walking from Cineleisure to Taka...That was a laugh... Thanks to Sammi and Fishie, there was quite a interesting conversation about er... forget it. Anyway, the discussion was whether it was hygenic or not.. About at least marrying for the experience of having it. Basically, the conversation consisted about all these and more... But to have this conversation in the middle of Orchard Road... Lol. It was funny lah. But had to pretend not to know those two...
Then walked around in Kino for a while, looked at books, anime, manga, etc.. Went Kalms and started looking at the cute Tatty Teddys.. Sammi was going crazy about it lor... =) Then joined them for a quick dinner then headed for family carecell.
For gel, my mum asked us to do some personality test and guess what? I managed to predict my results quite well... I mean, I guess i would be quite in the centre.. Turns out I'm an introvert but my second strongest is that i'm an extrovert.. Interesting, isn't it.. Anyway, the strengths of the introvert was supposedly suffers in silence? as a wife, would listen to husband.. rite.. that is so not me lah. Faithful, guess so. Diplomatic? Nah. Got good insights. What a joke.. Good to have in "conflict"? Not sure.. Weakness for an introvert was fearful, unmotivated, indecisive...Quite true. Very slow to get their thoughts out.. Depends. very compromising... Yep. I think so. Got will of iron. At times. Quite stubborn way. Sometimes. Need external motivation. Yep. Guess I'm really phlegmatic then. =)
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Me...
Been wanting to blog these past two days but didn't get the chance.. Dunno whether anyone ever checks my blog liao but doesn't matter. Shall still blog..
Anyway, on Monday, my mum brought Jonathan and I to MacDonalds. Yep, it was to pacify Jonathan cos he was crying away. Anyway, after that, when we came out of Mac, someone called my mum and I was just standing there looking towards the sky... Then this whole calmness just came over me.. I mean the sky was getting dark as it was late evening, the sun was setting so the sky was just this whole sea of colours. At that moment, everything seemed so tranquil, I could forget everything that's been bothering me lately.. But had to snapped out of that mood soon lah... But now, it makes me want to just chill out and enjoy nature more than ever.. So maybe.. Mite make a trip to the beach soon. =)
Oh ya, one more thing that I wanted to blog about.. Rewind to Sunday... The Sunday Night movie was Armaggedeon.. When watching it, this question came to my mind.. If you knew that today would be your last day to live, what would you do? Interesting question? Sighs... Anyway, recently, been watching too many shows that all make me start having the attitude that we should treasure every single day of our life. I mean, we'll never know how long we live.. Sighs. Don't ask why recently I've become reflective.. It's freaking me out too but already getting used to this new side of me..
P.S. Realized that I don't sing songs to myself only when I'm down like what Gloria said, it's also because sometimes, I'm just reflecting on something. Interesting revelations about myself! =)
Anyway, on Monday, my mum brought Jonathan and I to MacDonalds. Yep, it was to pacify Jonathan cos he was crying away. Anyway, after that, when we came out of Mac, someone called my mum and I was just standing there looking towards the sky... Then this whole calmness just came over me.. I mean the sky was getting dark as it was late evening, the sun was setting so the sky was just this whole sea of colours. At that moment, everything seemed so tranquil, I could forget everything that's been bothering me lately.. But had to snapped out of that mood soon lah... But now, it makes me want to just chill out and enjoy nature more than ever.. So maybe.. Mite make a trip to the beach soon. =)
Oh ya, one more thing that I wanted to blog about.. Rewind to Sunday... The Sunday Night movie was Armaggedeon.. When watching it, this question came to my mind.. If you knew that today would be your last day to live, what would you do? Interesting question? Sighs... Anyway, recently, been watching too many shows that all make me start having the attitude that we should treasure every single day of our life. I mean, we'll never know how long we live.. Sighs. Don't ask why recently I've become reflective.. It's freaking me out too but already getting used to this new side of me..
P.S. Realized that I don't sing songs to myself only when I'm down like what Gloria said, it's also because sometimes, I'm just reflecting on something. Interesting revelations about myself! =)
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Reflections... masks.
Haven't blog for a week or so. Just wasn't in the mood. But now. Finally got something that I really want to blog about.
Yesterday, the first day of the school holiday. But everything seemed normal. Went for CSP then went home, mum treated the family to high-tea at Conrad Hotel then rushed for service..
Masquerade. Worship, the energy just wasn't there. Something felt lacking... Then anyway, later watched the short skit put on by Brother Kah Fei, Sister Stella and Sister Corinna.. It really spoke to me. Putting on masks so that we would be liked by others, so that we would be accepted. Then they sang "Reflections" from Mulan...
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehowI will show the world what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
The lyrics, something that I was so familiar with due to my interest in Disney but now, for this time, the lyrics was familiar in a different way, being able to understand the lyrics... Guess that's why I play "Reflections" whenever I'm dissappointed in myself...
After that, the sermon... Shall just summarize it. Basically, Pastor Darrick talked abou the reasons people wear masks and what wearing masks will lead to eventually... Weariness, superficial relationships, hurt- to yourself and others.
Now, the real purpose of my blog entry.. to ponder on what was said and give my opinions, my feelings.. I have been putting on a mask to most of the people around me... Not all, but most.. What Pastor Darrick said was true.. I have been turning weary already. And I guess that's partly the reason why I want to go to NUS, to start anew, to be me and not care anymore what others think.. But now, the current situation, I realize that even those close to me, I have been putting on a mask in front of them. I have realized that I should stop doing that but that's easier said than done. Removing the mask along would be hard but living a life without the masks would be harder. I know the situation that will occur and I dread it.. But guess what? I have no choice. I've given my life to God and I will follow his Word. So maybe this is the right time for a new start, this is what I've been waiting for... Only time will show.
Yesterday, the first day of the school holiday. But everything seemed normal. Went for CSP then went home, mum treated the family to high-tea at Conrad Hotel then rushed for service..
Masquerade. Worship, the energy just wasn't there. Something felt lacking... Then anyway, later watched the short skit put on by Brother Kah Fei, Sister Stella and Sister Corinna.. It really spoke to me. Putting on masks so that we would be liked by others, so that we would be accepted. Then they sang "Reflections" from Mulan...
Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehowI will show the world what's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection someone I don't know
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside
The lyrics, something that I was so familiar with due to my interest in Disney but now, for this time, the lyrics was familiar in a different way, being able to understand the lyrics... Guess that's why I play "Reflections" whenever I'm dissappointed in myself...
After that, the sermon... Shall just summarize it. Basically, Pastor Darrick talked abou the reasons people wear masks and what wearing masks will lead to eventually... Weariness, superficial relationships, hurt- to yourself and others.
Now, the real purpose of my blog entry.. to ponder on what was said and give my opinions, my feelings.. I have been putting on a mask to most of the people around me... Not all, but most.. What Pastor Darrick said was true.. I have been turning weary already. And I guess that's partly the reason why I want to go to NUS, to start anew, to be me and not care anymore what others think.. But now, the current situation, I realize that even those close to me, I have been putting on a mask in front of them. I have realized that I should stop doing that but that's easier said than done. Removing the mask along would be hard but living a life without the masks would be harder. I know the situation that will occur and I dread it.. But guess what? I have no choice. I've given my life to God and I will follow his Word. So maybe this is the right time for a new start, this is what I've been waiting for... Only time will show.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Insults
Just came back from Dunman High.. Had some drama enrichment talk there. Anyway, was very pissed off at some guy in the morning before I left for Dunman... He should be thanking his lucky stars that I didn't make a scene at Dunman, cooled down liao. But anyway, can't understand why some people make false accusations without any proof, I mean.. look at that guy's tagboard. Insulting gan jie like that when he doesn't know anything. What the **** lah. One last note to say about all those supporting that guy, make sure you get the facts first before deciding whether or not to support that guy... Too pissed off to blog much liao...
But on a lighter note, saw Yi Kai and Zoe at Dunman today.. Finally, after so long lor.. Then the whole talk was really quite dull.. Was being entertained by kor kor.. Couldn't stop laughing along with gan jie.. =) Not much to say liao. That's all folks.
But on a lighter note, saw Yi Kai and Zoe at Dunman today.. Finally, after so long lor.. Then the whole talk was really quite dull.. Was being entertained by kor kor.. Couldn't stop laughing along with gan jie.. =) Not much to say liao. That's all folks.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Public Speaking Competition
Ok. Shall try to address some of the things that have been raised throughout this whole time.
First, it was wrong of the people to criticize the emcees for cutting people off. Could you people just understand the logic behind that? And when they try to defend themselves, you start insulting them and calling them names. Can you people put yourself in their shoes? Why is it that it is only some ACS(I) people who criticize the emcees? You don't see people from other schools like RI, Dunman High, etc criticizing, you know?
Due to time constraints, can't blog anymore. Got to let gan jie blog liao..
First, it was wrong of the people to criticize the emcees for cutting people off. Could you people just understand the logic behind that? And when they try to defend themselves, you start insulting them and calling them names. Can you people put yourself in their shoes? Why is it that it is only some ACS(I) people who criticize the emcees? You don't see people from other schools like RI, Dunman High, etc criticizing, you know?
Due to time constraints, can't blog anymore. Got to let gan jie blog liao..
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
New blogskin
Hope my new blogskin doesn't seem angsty? Just wanted something with a nice sunset. Looks quite ok except for that surfer there but nvm, it's still quite nice. =)
Tired. want to slack. Thing is, i think i've just been banned from using msn. Dun ask why, k? Which probably means half of u all will start pestering me.. Nvm. Gtg.
Tired. want to slack. Thing is, i think i've just been banned from using msn. Dun ask why, k? Which probably means half of u all will start pestering me.. Nvm. Gtg.
Clothes
It hit me recently that each time I put on a different set of clothes, I seem to change.
Can you picture me in a childish t-shirt with shorts and sandals?
I mean, most of my friends see me wearing either the school uniform, or top plus jeans and sports shoes. Can you picture a casual side of me? A side that wants to go back to childhood days, enjoying swings, playground, etc.
I mean, just try comparing me in school uniform and a t-shirt + jeans. There's like a world of difference already. So does the person change the clothes or does the clothes change the person?
Anyway, clothes aside, been in a fairly ok mood these few days. Had fun going out with frenz on sat after sports meet. Went j8, walked around, went kfc then swensens followed by neoprints. Lol, got michael and elisha to take neoprints with us. More details, refer to hui shi's blog. But ya, it was quite fun lah. Only downside was that I missed service but nvm, will go this saturday.
Not much to write about now, not in the mood? Got to go.
Can you picture me in a childish t-shirt with shorts and sandals?
I mean, most of my friends see me wearing either the school uniform, or top plus jeans and sports shoes. Can you picture a casual side of me? A side that wants to go back to childhood days, enjoying swings, playground, etc.
I mean, just try comparing me in school uniform and a t-shirt + jeans. There's like a world of difference already. So does the person change the clothes or does the clothes change the person?
Anyway, clothes aside, been in a fairly ok mood these few days. Had fun going out with frenz on sat after sports meet. Went j8, walked around, went kfc then swensens followed by neoprints. Lol, got michael and elisha to take neoprints with us. More details, refer to hui shi's blog. But ya, it was quite fun lah. Only downside was that I missed service but nvm, will go this saturday.
Not much to write about now, not in the mood? Got to go.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Gep events...
Got to do a very quick summary about the day’s events…
Let’s see. I’ll just fast forward to the public speaking competition.
Bah, I dislike all these gep events.. Each time I entered, let’s say the audi, I have 2 try to not look around, be oblivious of the people around me. Anyway, it was rather funny today lah.
Can’t deny the fact that these events caused me lots of embarrassment (?), it provides a lot, a lot of laughter. Yep, was trying 2 control my laughter throughout the competition thanks to the interesting “show” by some people in the auditorium. Anyway, noticed a trend in the presenting style of guys. They tend to use a lot of self-flattery? Shall not mention the names of the school in case it gets too sensitive and the people can’t take the criticism. Pity Glo and Hui Shi who had to be the mc and cut people off half-way… That’s not a nice job but hey, someone’s got to do it. Due to time constraints, got to go. Might elaborate further later? Depends.
Let’s see. I’ll just fast forward to the public speaking competition.
Bah, I dislike all these gep events.. Each time I entered, let’s say the audi, I have 2 try to not look around, be oblivious of the people around me. Anyway, it was rather funny today lah.
Can’t deny the fact that these events caused me lots of embarrassment (?), it provides a lot, a lot of laughter. Yep, was trying 2 control my laughter throughout the competition thanks to the interesting “show” by some people in the auditorium. Anyway, noticed a trend in the presenting style of guys. They tend to use a lot of self-flattery? Shall not mention the names of the school in case it gets too sensitive and the people can’t take the criticism. Pity Glo and Hui Shi who had to be the mc and cut people off half-way… That’s not a nice job but hey, someone’s got to do it. Due to time constraints, got to go. Might elaborate further later? Depends.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Recap.
Finally, some time to really blog. Been occupied so haven’t been blogging. Quick summary of what happened over the long weekend.
Saturday
Walkathon in the morning from school to SMU. Sighs. Not what I want to do on a sat morning, Wasn’t in the mood lah. Just wanted to stay home and rest but hey, wishes don’t come true.
Walkathon over, body combat at SMU. I think I need a punching bag liao. Quite “fun” to just punch/kick the air. Then after that, go home lah, what else?
Went home, rest then go church. Cell. Service. My mood that day wasn’t very good so I guess was a bit quiet and didn’t take part in teasing Brother Kah Fei. Shall help them next week. Then for service, it was “Straight Talk with Pastor Darrick and a mystery guest”. A lot of comic relief lah. All the cues on the screen to tell us to “applause”, “thundering applause”, “lol”, “rofl”, etc.. Due to lack of mood to continue to blog about service, shall stop now. All I have to say that it was really meaningful and helped a lot.
Sunday
Not much to blog about. Other than the trip to Mount Faber after dinner. Just went there and admire the night view of Singapore. It’s not the nicest but hey, at least it’s something. Just letting the wind blow, I was so contented at that moment. I mean, moments before, hearing my favourite Disney songs on the radio then the cooling breeze. I felt I went back in time to primary school when I was so carefree. Enjoying these simple thing so much. Sighs. I really need to just chill out more. And I don’t mean slacking in front of the computer screen. =p
Saturday
Walkathon in the morning from school to SMU. Sighs. Not what I want to do on a sat morning, Wasn’t in the mood lah. Just wanted to stay home and rest but hey, wishes don’t come true.
Walkathon over, body combat at SMU. I think I need a punching bag liao. Quite “fun” to just punch/kick the air. Then after that, go home lah, what else?
Went home, rest then go church. Cell. Service. My mood that day wasn’t very good so I guess was a bit quiet and didn’t take part in teasing Brother Kah Fei. Shall help them next week. Then for service, it was “Straight Talk with Pastor Darrick and a mystery guest”. A lot of comic relief lah. All the cues on the screen to tell us to “applause”, “thundering applause”, “lol”, “rofl”, etc.. Due to lack of mood to continue to blog about service, shall stop now. All I have to say that it was really meaningful and helped a lot.
Sunday
Not much to blog about. Other than the trip to Mount Faber after dinner. Just went there and admire the night view of Singapore. It’s not the nicest but hey, at least it’s something. Just letting the wind blow, I was so contented at that moment. I mean, moments before, hearing my favourite Disney songs on the radio then the cooling breeze. I felt I went back in time to primary school when I was so carefree. Enjoying these simple thing so much. Sighs. I really need to just chill out more. And I don’t mean slacking in front of the computer screen. =p
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Been occupied
This few days, haven't been blogging much. Just not in the mood but since today, my mood quite ok, shall do a quick entry.
Saw my mum for the first time in days. Me happy! Then later, mum surprised me with all the nice things that she bought for me from bangkok. Good taste, mummy. A lot of the items, i really liked lor. So ya, was bouncing around the whole house like a kangaroo..
Today ar.. hmm. quite ok lah. survived the day. so proud of my doodling in my notebook.. very random but looks quite ok when highlighted. Mum was home! someone to talk to instead of facing the com screen whole day.
Anyway, got to rush out lit liao. gtg
Saw my mum for the first time in days. Me happy! Then later, mum surprised me with all the nice things that she bought for me from bangkok. Good taste, mummy. A lot of the items, i really liked lor. So ya, was bouncing around the whole house like a kangaroo..
Today ar.. hmm. quite ok lah. survived the day. so proud of my doodling in my notebook.. very random but looks quite ok when highlighted. Mum was home! someone to talk to instead of facing the com screen whole day.
Anyway, got to rush out lit liao. gtg
Monday, April 25, 2005
Plain... don't blame me.
Based on what I said earlier in previous entry, blog entries shall now be dull and boring? So be prepared.
School today, like always. During recess, rushed to edit video but failed. Showed tv ad to class.. Most of them dun get it but hey, it's a home made production? Then body combat (also known as aerobics)...
Oh yes, did i mention that I'm falling sick? How nice... Dun u agree?
That's about it.
School today, like always. During recess, rushed to edit video but failed. Showed tv ad to class.. Most of them dun get it but hey, it's a home made production? Then body combat (also known as aerobics)...
Oh yes, did i mention that I'm falling sick? How nice... Dun u agree?
That's about it.
Rash decision...
Referring to my previous blog entry, I don't think that I will really abandon my blog. It was a very spur-of-the-moment comment.. However, I still believe that this blog would no longer be able to let me reveal my feelings, my thoughts. This blog used to be my outlet but no longer...
From now on, I will still blog, maybe as often, maybe less. But one thing is for sure, there will no longer be any more of those blog entries with lots and lots of emotions. The entries will just be an account of whatever happened and maybe some views not on non-sensitive issues like the weather.. One example of such entry.. "School was fine, like always, lots of homework, that's all"
Don't say I didn't tell u guys in advance, k?
From now on, I will still blog, maybe as often, maybe less. But one thing is for sure, there will no longer be any more of those blog entries with lots and lots of emotions. The entries will just be an account of whatever happened and maybe some views not on non-sensitive issues like the weather.. One example of such entry.. "School was fine, like always, lots of homework, that's all"
Don't say I didn't tell u guys in advance, k?
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Maybe i should...
Hey pple who read my blog... just to let you guys know.. I might abandon this blog... Realized that everything i write here will be read and commented on. The purpose of me having the blog is to be able to just write what I want about my day, my life, my thoughts. But now, I'm actually filtering what I write, omitting thoughts that I want to put down as I'm too concerned about what the reaction will be. You can say it's my fault for letting people know about this blog, you can say that I'm the one who minds the comments, fine. I won't disagree.. It was my own doing.
So it'll be my own choice if i want 2 abandon this blog.
So it'll be my own choice if i want 2 abandon this blog.
Saturdays... my favourite day in the week??
Let's see.. The usual routine of saturdays.. Piano lesson then come home, slack/do homework then go for cell followed by service.. Thanks to cousin, the routine was almost broken. Was invited to go for some crossfire paintball thing but last minute, turned out that I wasn't of the required age limit.. 14! Bah... a few months more.
Anyway, went to cell.. turns out wasn't the lastest.. then went back downstairs to meet the rest of the girls, elo, eileen and delia. Yah, most of them wore skirts too.. so wasn't the only one.. =) Anyway, cell was ok lah. it's fun, something i look foward to every week. After cell, service, the usual.
Worship was very energetic and just wanted to just be part of that awesome energy.. result of Passion! Ministry's passion for God, i guess. So jumped lah.. but wearing skirt so after a while, couldn't jump liao.. Not going to wear skirt again... Prevents me from jumping.. =(
Then later, after announcements/offering time, worshipped again.. But could sense that I was being distracted. So hard to clear my mind and focus solely onto God, was praying for distractions to cease and after a while, managed to worship God with all my focus on him.
Sermon.. Talking about "God, up close and personal." Realized that I've really been lacking in that area of trusting God and being humble. Was feeling guilty lor. In a way, I guess I've been like that kid in the story that Pastor B. told.. Been telling God what to do instead of letting him work in my life. Went for altar call and just pray to God and just remembered all the times in the past and just wept. Asking for God to come into my life. Just submitting to him once again. The fire in me that was ignited during camp had started to die down once more.. It's so hard to try to maintain the burning desire to run after God. So ya, was just praying for God to come into my life and just lead me. I've been facing problems in making some decisions and now have decided to just let God guide me. Even though right now, I still haven't made my decision or there hasn't been any signs as to what to do, right after just letting go of my worries, I felt calm, something I haven't felt in quite some time. Then was energetic again. Hyper me!
Anyway, after service, went to Macs with the girls in cell with the exception of Jeanette, Elo, Bel... Just sat there and talk and laugh our heads off. It was a nice change lah. Maybe this is what I've been needing to cheer me up? Just relaxing away.. As in really relaxed. =) That's about it for now lah. Got to do my work since i'm in a good mood now. and actually can focus on my work.
Anyway, went to cell.. turns out wasn't the lastest.. then went back downstairs to meet the rest of the girls, elo, eileen and delia. Yah, most of them wore skirts too.. so wasn't the only one.. =) Anyway, cell was ok lah. it's fun, something i look foward to every week. After cell, service, the usual.
Worship was very energetic and just wanted to just be part of that awesome energy.. result of Passion! Ministry's passion for God, i guess. So jumped lah.. but wearing skirt so after a while, couldn't jump liao.. Not going to wear skirt again... Prevents me from jumping.. =(
Then later, after announcements/offering time, worshipped again.. But could sense that I was being distracted. So hard to clear my mind and focus solely onto God, was praying for distractions to cease and after a while, managed to worship God with all my focus on him.
Sermon.. Talking about "God, up close and personal." Realized that I've really been lacking in that area of trusting God and being humble. Was feeling guilty lor. In a way, I guess I've been like that kid in the story that Pastor B. told.. Been telling God what to do instead of letting him work in my life. Went for altar call and just pray to God and just remembered all the times in the past and just wept. Asking for God to come into my life. Just submitting to him once again. The fire in me that was ignited during camp had started to die down once more.. It's so hard to try to maintain the burning desire to run after God. So ya, was just praying for God to come into my life and just lead me. I've been facing problems in making some decisions and now have decided to just let God guide me. Even though right now, I still haven't made my decision or there hasn't been any signs as to what to do, right after just letting go of my worries, I felt calm, something I haven't felt in quite some time. Then was energetic again. Hyper me!
Anyway, after service, went to Macs with the girls in cell with the exception of Jeanette, Elo, Bel... Just sat there and talk and laugh our heads off. It was a nice change lah. Maybe this is what I've been needing to cheer me up? Just relaxing away.. As in really relaxed. =) That's about it for now lah. Got to do my work since i'm in a good mood now. and actually can focus on my work.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Weird how songs can pull up and bring down my mood..
Today, sports meet at yio chu kang stadium... Temperature started getting a bit high so me and glo left half way... Believe that we pon? Rite... Anyway, we left early for irs lah.. Had to go to dolphin lagoon again to watch the training session. Reached there and saw big tour groups there... Bah! They crowd up the whole place. But managed to find a good spot to film the whole training performance, thanks to my height (sorry if i'm being ego)... and the raised platform helped too. Then after that, persuaded glo in letting me just loiter at the beach for a while..
I know that was being wu liao just wading into the sea but hey, my element is supposed to be water... If anyone had saw me, they would have think i was being lame.. Just wading into the sea... wearing berms??!! and just walking along the coastline with the water up 2 my knee level. Btw, it was high tide so berms got wet then flded higher... in the end, i heck care liao and entered the water til the water was like way above knee level, while still wearing my berms.. Found a seashell =) quite nice. It was just so tranquil there yet wished that i could just swim into the sea without worrying abt my berms getting wet.. To stay in that moment forever, just thinking about everything and yet, nothing.
Thank goodness i remembered to bring a change of clothes so changed into jeans and then made a quick trip to underwater world b4 rushing to tampines to meet shao. Met shao and then went to glo's hse... Slacked for a while then met vanessa and rachel at the busstop and brought them to shao's hse...
Here's the funny part. we were trying to film a tv ad for the public speaking competition so trial run a few times... There were so many bloopers... yep, my fault. it was too hard to try 2 control our laughter cos some of it was just plain funny. shaln't elaborate anymore.. But anyway, a lot, a lot of laughter... then glo actually taped down some of these bloopers without me knowing lor... sighs... lol but it was fun.
Went popular b4 heading to auntie's hse and saw.. Yep, the hai tun wan lie soundtrack... I want! Time to start skipping recess and lunch just to save up... Then headed to auntie's hse, played with jonathan, ate dinner, watch hai tun wan lie then went home. On the way back.. listening to mp3 player then some of the songs wanted to make me cry and that didn't make sense.. cos it's songs by jay chou, "an qing" and "kai bu liao kou".. I shouldn't b able 2 relate to "an qing" but strangely i did, even though i haven't went through that... Refer to the lyrics of the song to know what i mean... Aiyah, i was thinking about him lor.. that isn't fair... I want to forget him but that's not possible cos i see him too often for my own good.. Not my choice..
Shall not dwell on him and give him that much credit. bah. Choose not to like him and will keep by that. as long as i dun think about the past. memories, both good and bad.
I know that was being wu liao just wading into the sea but hey, my element is supposed to be water... If anyone had saw me, they would have think i was being lame.. Just wading into the sea... wearing berms??!! and just walking along the coastline with the water up 2 my knee level. Btw, it was high tide so berms got wet then flded higher... in the end, i heck care liao and entered the water til the water was like way above knee level, while still wearing my berms.. Found a seashell =) quite nice. It was just so tranquil there yet wished that i could just swim into the sea without worrying abt my berms getting wet.. To stay in that moment forever, just thinking about everything and yet, nothing.
Thank goodness i remembered to bring a change of clothes so changed into jeans and then made a quick trip to underwater world b4 rushing to tampines to meet shao. Met shao and then went to glo's hse... Slacked for a while then met vanessa and rachel at the busstop and brought them to shao's hse...
Here's the funny part. we were trying to film a tv ad for the public speaking competition so trial run a few times... There were so many bloopers... yep, my fault. it was too hard to try 2 control our laughter cos some of it was just plain funny. shaln't elaborate anymore.. But anyway, a lot, a lot of laughter... then glo actually taped down some of these bloopers without me knowing lor... sighs... lol but it was fun.
Went popular b4 heading to auntie's hse and saw.. Yep, the hai tun wan lie soundtrack... I want! Time to start skipping recess and lunch just to save up... Then headed to auntie's hse, played with jonathan, ate dinner, watch hai tun wan lie then went home. On the way back.. listening to mp3 player then some of the songs wanted to make me cry and that didn't make sense.. cos it's songs by jay chou, "an qing" and "kai bu liao kou".. I shouldn't b able 2 relate to "an qing" but strangely i did, even though i haven't went through that... Refer to the lyrics of the song to know what i mean... Aiyah, i was thinking about him lor.. that isn't fair... I want to forget him but that's not possible cos i see him too often for my own good.. Not my choice..
Shall not dwell on him and give him that much credit. bah. Choose not to like him and will keep by that. as long as i dun think about the past. memories, both good and bad.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Life is good and bad. You know it can never be
perfect and that it never have been, and you're
fine with that. You still feel it's important
to live life since it can end any day and not
sulk because of some little failure in life.
You are often a happy person, still you don't
laugh all the time. You have a somewhat calm
aura and most people feel comfortable around
you.
How do you see life? .::minor update::.
brought to you by
Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you are sympathetic and raise
others above yourself. Being as kind and
good-natured as you are people have most likely
hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up
every time. You may look fragile but you are
stronger than most tend to see. Life is
beautiful no matter how you look at it and you
understand that people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. You truly have a
beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.
.:-What is your true element?-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by
No thanks to kor... I like the quizzes too much and start doing them every few days... The pics are really nice and the answers are quite accurate. But anyway, about today... Not much 2 blog about, was in quite a ok mood? Til the last few lessons at least.. Was very tired then got a bit snappy, moody? Hope i didn't offend any1. Tell me if i did, k? Oh yes, tomorrow going Sentosa again... Get to leave yio chu kang stadium early... *gloats* couldn't help it. Bcos of irs have 2 go watch the training session also. Time 2 spend lots of cash just on admission ticket... So not worth it... But nvm, it's for the dolphins.. =) Dolphins are nice!
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Happiness at last?
Ok, so i admit... mayb my msn nickname isn't that accurate. Been slacking too much trying 2 find a blogskin... But from now, shall try my best to work hard even though it'll be hard on me... I stopped doing that since primary school? Anyway, like my blogskin? It was either this or a dolphin one which i kept for next time. =) will save me lots of time. Gtg and start on homework before watching hai tun wan lie later at 730... that show rox!
Bb
Bb
Slacking..
Now in ITE, shall complete my previous unfinished entry... Anyway, yesterday was so stressed out about lit homework and just blanked out and decided not to do my homework. And just slack the whole night away But my mood improved a while after some MSN convs... Yes, people if u talk to me yesterday, you would know who you are. I was laughing away at the discussing of some stereotypes... And also at some of the comments made. So cheered up quite a bit. That person, thanks even though I know that it was not ur intention to cheer me up but thanks anyway. Now hoping that the dialouge session later wouldn't b so bad, but i doubt it...
Anyway, a random question, what is it with guys and answering question? only meant to point at one person... But ya, stop evading the question lah, stupid guy... Oops, shouldn't insult it but it's getting me frustrated. Oh yes, a bit more elaboration on my "emotional problems" as mentioned in my nickname...
In school, I was distancing myself unconsciously from my friends but in a way, that did me some good... Found some new people to hang out with and talk to... Latest obsession during recess and lunch break.. Badminton, still using the badminton racket that yi kai gave me in primary school. But it works well. Have improved a bit since monday... so proud of myself. =) Me happy... Anyway, the prob problems at school is no longer that bad so I'll survive , i guess for now... Er... then for problems not related to school, like church, crush/s, etc...
Let's se... Shall I elaborate? I think I shall be a bit more vague... for obvious reasons. In church, I belong more, i guess but at times, if my closer friends don't come, I'll start feeling a bit lonely? But that's natural lah... rite? Then for crush/s, I really don't know how to explain...
Let's see. I really can't tell whether I like that person... maybe make that two, even if you say I'm a two timer or what, i dun care. I'm not even involved in a relationship, I'm just trying to make up my mind. Samantha, you should understand the best. You went through this once , didn't you? =p Ya but anyway, it's confusing lah.. I dun really want to care about this kind of problems anymore... After all, fairytale endings only happens in the movies so no point worrying liao and getting all frustrated over guys... I agree with some, there are more interesting things in this world than all these problems, right? I can't believe I'm saying all these... Weird for this to come from me, isn't it?
That's all for now, can't think of much to blog about liao...
Anyway, a random question, what is it with guys and answering question? only meant to point at one person... But ya, stop evading the question lah, stupid guy... Oops, shouldn't insult it but it's getting me frustrated. Oh yes, a bit more elaboration on my "emotional problems" as mentioned in my nickname...
In school, I was distancing myself unconsciously from my friends but in a way, that did me some good... Found some new people to hang out with and talk to... Latest obsession during recess and lunch break.. Badminton, still using the badminton racket that yi kai gave me in primary school. But it works well. Have improved a bit since monday... so proud of myself. =) Me happy... Anyway, the prob problems at school is no longer that bad so I'll survive , i guess for now... Er... then for problems not related to school, like church, crush/s, etc...
Let's se... Shall I elaborate? I think I shall be a bit more vague... for obvious reasons. In church, I belong more, i guess but at times, if my closer friends don't come, I'll start feeling a bit lonely? But that's natural lah... rite? Then for crush/s, I really don't know how to explain...
Let's see. I really can't tell whether I like that person... maybe make that two, even if you say I'm a two timer or what, i dun care. I'm not even involved in a relationship, I'm just trying to make up my mind. Samantha, you should understand the best. You went through this once , didn't you? =p Ya but anyway, it's confusing lah.. I dun really want to care about this kind of problems anymore... After all, fairytale endings only happens in the movies so no point worrying liao and getting all frustrated over guys... I agree with some, there are more interesting things in this world than all these problems, right? I can't believe I'm saying all these... Weird for this to come from me, isn't it?
That's all for now, can't think of much to blog about liao...
Wuliaoness and infiltration... how's that?
Oh yes... huishi thinks cherm is very wuliao and huishi loves irritating cherm with her nice blogskins. HAHA. ~Courtesy of Huishi~
meffle ~Courtesy of Shao~
cherm shall get killed today! ~Courtesy of Glo~
AND YAY, WE ALL PASSED OUR CSP ASSESSMENT!!! CHINATOWN HERITAGE CENTRE ROCKS!!! YAYAYYYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHA! chermy no chance to blog yet ~Courtesy of all three of them~
Finally, i get to type... Those 3 were being random and just typing away... Bah. Anyway, flashback to yesterday... No thanks to ****** who had to pile us with so much hw and then tell us that tmr (today) would have dialouge session... Anyway, got to go for flag raising liao. blog later.
(wuliaoness has the same concept) we're being wuliao yes?(you were supposed to be being random too wadd)muahaaa ~Courtesy of HuiShi~
Irritating chermy is fun...=))))
buaibuai
Gtg
meffle ~Courtesy of Shao~
cherm shall get killed today! ~Courtesy of Glo~
AND YAY, WE ALL PASSED OUR CSP ASSESSMENT!!! CHINATOWN HERITAGE CENTRE ROCKS!!! YAYAYYYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHHA! chermy no chance to blog yet ~Courtesy of all three of them~
Finally, i get to type... Those 3 were being random and just typing away... Bah. Anyway, flashback to yesterday... No thanks to ****** who had to pile us with so much hw and then tell us that tmr (today) would have dialouge session... Anyway, got to go for flag raising liao. blog later.
(wuliaoness has the same concept) we're being wuliao yes?(you were supposed to be being random too wadd)muahaaa ~Courtesy of HuiShi~
Irritating chermy is fun...=))))
buaibuai
Gtg
Monday, April 18, 2005
Mood- Depressed, down, etc...
Strange that my blog entries now all tend 2 b filled with angst and depression? Guess I don't bother blogging unless there's something bothering me, which is quite often. Let's continue from Saturday... Carecell and service.. nothing unusual, rite? Just in case any1 from church does read my blog, so shall not blog much abt my thots... The sermon though was ... relevant? cos some of it really applied to me lor... But my mood was quite ok thanks to some close? friends in church, but wasn't the best of moods due to something... Yes, I shall b vague for obvious reasons...
Sunday, generally ok day lah. Went bowling with cuz then headed 2 dad's hse.
Me and cuz was like trying 2 improve our "dancing" skills.. So long never play PS2 dance dance revolution liao... but still rather average. then cuz was like "u're a born dancer..." where got?? I consider that day's performance quite bad lah... But the problem with playing is that i get tempted to go 2 the arcade and play the real one... Want to see if all this practice helps... Sighs...
Today... Guess the lowest in terms of my mood. Was rather quiet and just kept 2 myself, something that i really dun do often. To do that would b scary as i'm normally hyper, talkative, sociable, etc... Today was just the opposite.. I guess i need a distance around me.. A barrier, some might say. I dun blame you three, it's my fault this time, I've drifted away. Not a conscious effort but still... It just comes naturally liao. I no longer want 2 care, i'll just live through life... I'll just go along with the flow, seeing where this drifting leads me. But it's nice 2 know that no matter how down I get, my family's always there. But now... I must warn those around me, I've grown quieter, isolated myself and even my rare smiles and laughter now, for all you know, they're forced.
Sunday, generally ok day lah. Went bowling with cuz then headed 2 dad's hse.
Me and cuz was like trying 2 improve our "dancing" skills.. So long never play PS2 dance dance revolution liao... but still rather average. then cuz was like "u're a born dancer..." where got?? I consider that day's performance quite bad lah... But the problem with playing is that i get tempted to go 2 the arcade and play the real one... Want to see if all this practice helps... Sighs...
Today... Guess the lowest in terms of my mood. Was rather quiet and just kept 2 myself, something that i really dun do often. To do that would b scary as i'm normally hyper, talkative, sociable, etc... Today was just the opposite.. I guess i need a distance around me.. A barrier, some might say. I dun blame you three, it's my fault this time, I've drifted away. Not a conscious effort but still... It just comes naturally liao. I no longer want 2 care, i'll just live through life... I'll just go along with the flow, seeing where this drifting leads me. But it's nice 2 know that no matter how down I get, my family's always there. But now... I must warn those around me, I've grown quieter, isolated myself and even my rare smiles and laughter now, for all you know, they're forced.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
More quizzes
You are the Spirit of Love. You think around
romance and are extremely compassionate.
Whenever you want something you can get it due
to your fiery passion. You can make friends
quite easily, because peopole are attracted to
your obvious good nature. You will have no
trouble in finding a life partner and will be
very happy.
Which stunning spirit of emotion are you? NEW AND IMPROVED! (amazingly beautiful anime pics!)
brought to you by
Your element is Water. You have a calm aura around
you and are in tune with the world around. You
observe it but rarely interfere. Because of
your shy and timid nature you will not have so
many friends in your life. But then again,
large crowds aren't your thing anyway. You are
comfortable on your own and are reserved to
others who you don't know or know very little
of. You know everyone out there does not want
to be your friend, and knowing that is good.
However, people who don't know you that well
thinks that you are cold and distant since you
don't want to talk to them. Although you mean
no harm, you can't always be perfectly
understood in the world. No one can. Life in
general are you quite serene with even if there
are some things you don't like. Your love-life
is not so full of boys/girls, but if you
flirted more with the ones you were interested
in I'm sure something would happen. The hobbies
you choose are calmer ones, you are no party
girl that likes to drink and make-out with
three or more guys/girls in one night. Reading
a book or swimming is more your thing. Rate and
message!
What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
brought to you by
you represent the begining of life. you are bright
and cheerful and love being who you are!
What part of life do you represent? ( AWESOME anime pics ^_^)
brought to you by
You are Relaxed
You have this constant feeling inside that says
that everything will be alright. Calm cool, you
invented the Chill Pill! (WHAT?!)Whenever
there's a problem you don't spaz out, that's
why people come to you for advice because
you're really reliable. Not many people have
the aura of calmness that follows wherever you
go. Whenever people are around you, they loosen
up, relax, just by being near you! Your motto
is 'Sit back and relax'. Stay the way you are,
because you rarely get stressed out!
Please Rate and Message!
What's The Girl Inside of You? .:BEAUTIFUL Anime Pics AND Music!:. (UPDATED!)
brought to you by
Quizzes galore.
Ok you are a romantic anime girl and you love and
care for a lot of people.There is no evil in
you soul or your heart.Though sometimes people
don't feelt he same way as you do you keep on
trying to change their mind.You love to help
people out and you are always happy.Keep on
trying to make the whole world smile because
you know smiles are contagious ^_^.Oh and if it
seems like there is nobody who could love you
as much as you could love them it doesn't
matter the thing is that the only thing that
matters is that he cares and loves you and it
doesn't matter how much well maybe it does but
don't set you standards to high cuz then you'll
find nobody
weird isn't it how the result of my quizzes have 2 do with love?
If You Were An Anime Character What Would You Look Like?(Girls Only)
brought to you by
Your connection with darkness is through your
depression. Hated, sad and often feeling
lonely, there is only a few that appreciate the
real you. You tend to keep to yourself and away
from the world since you don't want to be hurt
and betrayed again. Music gives you the
understanding you need to get through, it's
your "therapy". Or you express
yourself through art or writing. Chances are
you're also an anti-social person, who only
likes being with close friends, if even that.
The world has finally showed it's true face for
you and you wish life wasn't this miserable to
live through. Maybe you'll find happiness in
the future, but right now you're just hiding
away from the world. Who needs people anyway?
What is your connection with darkness? (pics)
brought to you by
Your wise quote is: "Love is life. And if you
miss love, you miss life" by Leo
Buscaglia.
Yes, love is indeed what you desire in your
life. If you have it or not is another matter,
but it is in your eyes the most important
feeling. You tend to be a romantic dreamer and
want you and your love to have that kind of
perfect love that you hear about in fairytales.
However that can be hard to find, but it
doesn't mean you are going to stop looking.
That is so, so true...
Your soul is caring.
Other people are your concern, even if you
don't know them. If you see a person trip you
worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones
first and you're very mature. When someones
sick you're nurturing and always try to help
family and friends when failure strikes them.
You can be called the motherly one, if you are
in a group of people, which doesn't have to be
bad. Love is something that's already in you
and you have a lot to give whether you believe
it or not. Your friends probably love you very
much and come to when they need help since
you're reliable. People can feel secure with
you and generally like you.
How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by
You are a
protector.
Yes, you don't like to kill people. That goes
against everything you belive in. It's not that
you are a coward, but your ideals and morals
wouldn't allow it. You are the typical hero, do
the righteous things, get the bad guys and do
it all legally. But just because you don't kill
doesn't mean you can't kick ass. And that is
what you do. You use your brain and your
strenght to do honourable deeds and protect
people you know and love. If an evil guy is
going to take over the world soon, it's you who
will get involved. You hate watching innocents
suffer, and love seeing bad people getting what
they deserve. You are probably also happy and
optimistic and work pretty good in groups. And
the friends you usually make are true ones.
Main weapon: Anything at all
Quote: "You only live once, but if
you do it right, once is enough" -Joe
Lewis
Facial expression: Smile
What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Time 2 give up. No point doing anymore
In just one day alone, my mood can b a total roller coaster ride.
Morning- down, withdrawn, can't see the point of smiling or laughing
Late morning- slightly more cheery but was it a false front? Not too sure myself.
Afternoon- Feeling genuinely happy. cos went bowling and it was better than previous sessions
Now- Getting a bit pissed off.. Ok, mayb make that very pissed off
Going 2 b rather abstract now so bear with me.
What happens if u agree with both sides on different things?
What happens if both sides don't care abt what you say?
In the end, u get blamed by one side and ignored by the other.
Yes people, those that really noe me should noe what this situation is about. But so?
I've said this more than once but did u guys care? NO! I've running out of energy. I really can't be bothered but for the simple fact that I care too much. That's my flaw and my virtue. To care for others is to simply give them the ability to harm you. I've realised that there is no longer any point 2 break down or get depressed about it. After this post, I shall attempt 2 keep my mouth shut about anything to do with this issue. so if i dun give any more replys or seem to give one syllable replies, u pple should noe why.
But one last thing. I'm sorry to some people. Without me, this whole debate would probably have not happened. I am the root cause and it was unintentional but now I withdraw from this battle, this useless fight..
~Leaving the battlefield forever and never coming back.~
Morning- down, withdrawn, can't see the point of smiling or laughing
Late morning- slightly more cheery but was it a false front? Not too sure myself.
Afternoon- Feeling genuinely happy. cos went bowling and it was better than previous sessions
Now- Getting a bit pissed off.. Ok, mayb make that very pissed off
Going 2 b rather abstract now so bear with me.
What happens if u agree with both sides on different things?
What happens if both sides don't care abt what you say?
In the end, u get blamed by one side and ignored by the other.
Yes people, those that really noe me should noe what this situation is about. But so?
I've said this more than once but did u guys care? NO! I've running out of energy. I really can't be bothered but for the simple fact that I care too much. That's my flaw and my virtue. To care for others is to simply give them the ability to harm you. I've realised that there is no longer any point 2 break down or get depressed about it. After this post, I shall attempt 2 keep my mouth shut about anything to do with this issue. so if i dun give any more replys or seem to give one syllable replies, u pple should noe why.
But one last thing. I'm sorry to some people. Without me, this whole debate would probably have not happened. I am the root cause and it was unintentional but now I withdraw from this battle, this useless fight..
~Leaving the battlefield forever and never coming back.~
Not again...
Quite a bit 2 blog about but due 2 time constraints, will just summarize highlights of the past few days..
Friday:
HSSRP- the usual lah... listen to presentation, run awau from ex-classmates, etc... those in hpps should noe the usual sequence of events. Anyway, finally passed something to my kor and it was quite humourous watching my classmates pass him the item.
Family Carecell- Topic of the day: Forgiveness... Such a sensitive topic... It was actually just discussing the ans 2 some questions like 'Is forgiving someone easy?" and "Must we forgive others?", etc...
I shall digress on this two questions. Forgiving isn't easy and i'm not talking abt those petty things like ur friend give u cold shoulder and whether u should forgive her... I'm talking abt my past.. I noe in the bottom of my heart that forgiving isn't easy. It took me 6 yrs? But I believe that it is possible to forgive someone, just hard, very hard..
But with God in your life, nothing is impossible!
Sat:
Service (Passion! Ministry)- Just needed to jump and be happy for once in the whole week. Church seems the only place other than home in which i can just forget all my problems. Anyway, the sermon... As usual, I went for altar call. Funny isn't it? how i seem 2 b able 2 relate 2 most of the sermons... Once i went up 2 the altar, there was such this need 2 cry out everything once more.. It's as if the stress & problems of the previous weeks can only be released when I go to church.. I noe that I'm too sensitive, too emotional, my virtue and my flaw. But anyway, back to the service... After crying it out, I felt so hyper.. I think Eileen can prove that... Was like jumping, jumping, jumping and still dun feel tired.. Then at dinner, was hyperactive again... oops?
Sunday:
Not much other than at night when I felt a bit depressed. Cos my life seem a bit too similar to previous times... History repeats itself but this is my part of my life i rather skip.. Yes pple... Feel free 2 jump 2 assumptions. Some pple already have. Thinking that my MSN nick "Dun want 2 go thru this again... It didn't turn out well the last time and it won't turn out well this time... " means that i'm lovesick.. Rite.
Today:
Anyway, the gist of today was that sammi found out that i had a handphone and so she was quite upset (to put it mildly)... Went kap and it was quite amusing... Then came home, talk 2 parents abt a certain issue... Went 2 someone's blog.. decide that there's no longer any point of tagging or defending anyone. my words r just ignored. hui shi, i learn from u. I'll stop caring about that tagboard. tag all u want, it's no longer my concern. I give up.
Yes yes, i'm getting bitter. how sad, dun u agree? I dun care. need to stop blogging liao...
Friday:
HSSRP- the usual lah... listen to presentation, run awau from ex-classmates, etc... those in hpps should noe the usual sequence of events. Anyway, finally passed something to my kor and it was quite humourous watching my classmates pass him the item.
Family Carecell- Topic of the day: Forgiveness... Such a sensitive topic... It was actually just discussing the ans 2 some questions like 'Is forgiving someone easy?" and "Must we forgive others?", etc...
I shall digress on this two questions. Forgiving isn't easy and i'm not talking abt those petty things like ur friend give u cold shoulder and whether u should forgive her... I'm talking abt my past.. I noe in the bottom of my heart that forgiving isn't easy. It took me 6 yrs? But I believe that it is possible to forgive someone, just hard, very hard..
But with God in your life, nothing is impossible!
Sat:
Service (Passion! Ministry)- Just needed to jump and be happy for once in the whole week. Church seems the only place other than home in which i can just forget all my problems. Anyway, the sermon... As usual, I went for altar call. Funny isn't it? how i seem 2 b able 2 relate 2 most of the sermons... Once i went up 2 the altar, there was such this need 2 cry out everything once more.. It's as if the stress & problems of the previous weeks can only be released when I go to church.. I noe that I'm too sensitive, too emotional, my virtue and my flaw. But anyway, back to the service... After crying it out, I felt so hyper.. I think Eileen can prove that... Was like jumping, jumping, jumping and still dun feel tired.. Then at dinner, was hyperactive again... oops?
Sunday:
Not much other than at night when I felt a bit depressed. Cos my life seem a bit too similar to previous times... History repeats itself but this is my part of my life i rather skip.. Yes pple... Feel free 2 jump 2 assumptions. Some pple already have. Thinking that my MSN nick "Dun want 2 go thru this again... It didn't turn out well the last time and it won't turn out well this time... " means that i'm lovesick.. Rite.
Today:
Anyway, the gist of today was that sammi found out that i had a handphone and so she was quite upset (to put it mildly)... Went kap and it was quite amusing... Then came home, talk 2 parents abt a certain issue... Went 2 someone's blog.. decide that there's no longer any point of tagging or defending anyone. my words r just ignored. hui shi, i learn from u. I'll stop caring about that tagboard. tag all u want, it's no longer my concern. I give up.
Yes yes, i'm getting bitter. how sad, dun u agree? I dun care. need to stop blogging liao...
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Oversensitive, over emotional? ya, i think so
If this is growing up, i want no part of it. No matter how i try to be cheerful, something will still spoil my mood every few days..
B4 writing the bitter stuff, shall rattle on about my new obsession, love at dolphin bay or also known as hai tun wan lie. It's a chinese show on channel u, every wed, thurs and fri at 7:30pm. Thanks to gan jiel, who brought the vcd of this 2 sch, i started liking it but had no chance 2 watch the whole serial then since it is showing on tv, may as well catch it.
The first episode was so touching, i cried. Ok, mayb not cry but there were tears on my face. Zerya and Tianbian so cute as children, sighs... I still like the legend most. Quote "Since then, dolphins have been guardians of love"... So sweet... No, i'm not being sarcastic...
Then today, a perfectly normal day but guess it's just my hormones, i can get all worked up over simple issues... Shalln't mention names for obvious reasons lah...
The same old feeling that no one understands me shall pop ups again and that no matter what, i should never get close to anyone as that will only b 1 more person who can hurt me more... Yes yes, that's going 2 b all the disagreement in opinion that i shouldn't b cold, etc... But still, it's frenz that can hurt you the most, even if it's unintentional... I noe that that person has no intentions of hurting me but i'm too sensitive, i guess? Even though that person is close to me, that person can still hurt me. And I just can't tell anyone what i'm feeling cos it seems so childish but hey, accept that, it's me.
I like this one example, when Ms Ong asked us to identify our style of dealing with problems, the whole class was actually qutie shocked that i would burst and start shouting at someone, etc... Other than gloria lah... This already shows how well those around me noe me... But even those that noe me, sighs... There'll never b any1 who can fully understand me, I'm rite, aren't I? Thanks for those that try but no offence, u can only understand to such an extent. I am way weaker than you guys think, you all noe that i'm weak but how weak? When would I break? Do you noe? sighs...
Better go and stop reflecting on this negative thoughts... see? I'm still trying 2 be the "old me" but well... the keyword here is "trying" and not succeeding...
B4 writing the bitter stuff, shall rattle on about my new obsession, love at dolphin bay or also known as hai tun wan lie. It's a chinese show on channel u, every wed, thurs and fri at 7:30pm. Thanks to gan jiel, who brought the vcd of this 2 sch, i started liking it but had no chance 2 watch the whole serial then since it is showing on tv, may as well catch it.
The first episode was so touching, i cried. Ok, mayb not cry but there were tears on my face. Zerya and Tianbian so cute as children, sighs... I still like the legend most. Quote "Since then, dolphins have been guardians of love"... So sweet... No, i'm not being sarcastic...
Then today, a perfectly normal day but guess it's just my hormones, i can get all worked up over simple issues... Shalln't mention names for obvious reasons lah...
The same old feeling that no one understands me shall pop ups again and that no matter what, i should never get close to anyone as that will only b 1 more person who can hurt me more... Yes yes, that's going 2 b all the disagreement in opinion that i shouldn't b cold, etc... But still, it's frenz that can hurt you the most, even if it's unintentional... I noe that that person has no intentions of hurting me but i'm too sensitive, i guess? Even though that person is close to me, that person can still hurt me. And I just can't tell anyone what i'm feeling cos it seems so childish but hey, accept that, it's me.
I like this one example, when Ms Ong asked us to identify our style of dealing with problems, the whole class was actually qutie shocked that i would burst and start shouting at someone, etc... Other than gloria lah... This already shows how well those around me noe me... But even those that noe me, sighs... There'll never b any1 who can fully understand me, I'm rite, aren't I? Thanks for those that try but no offence, u can only understand to such an extent. I am way weaker than you guys think, you all noe that i'm weak but how weak? When would I break? Do you noe? sighs...
Better go and stop reflecting on this negative thoughts... see? I'm still trying 2 be the "old me" but well... the keyword here is "trying" and not succeeding...
Sunday, April 03, 2005
Cheery me? I hope...
Anyway, after friday's entry... I really broke down and cried and then just felt the urge to talk to someone so called shao... But that was after after trying 2 contact glo and huishi... Anyway, kor kinda cheered me up and parents also cheered me up so was back to normal...
Sat: Met gloria for IRS project.. went 2 MacDonalds for breakfast... Long time never eat hotcakes with sausage liao... After that, went Sentosa, Dolphin Lagoon... Debating whether or not to get tickets but in the end, just decided to get. Thank goodness... The show actually started even though there was a slight drizzle.. Had front row seats.. The dolphins so cute!!! =) After the whole show which i videotaped down, me and glo had to pick btw andersen of denmark ice cream or taking a photo with the dolphin for $10... Sigh.. the dolphin won... Just for a photo, we paid 10 bucks!! Nvm...
Went underwater world and started being lame... Saw cuttlefish on display and i immediately thot of sotong= blur... So ask glo to take picture with them.. So bad of me, rite? But she agreed cos the display said that actually cuttlefish were the most intelligent of inverbrates (is that how you spell it?)... Then saw jellyfish... so cute! white and small just swimming away and couldn't resist nicknaming it blob blob... lol
Started going on the conveyor belt and saw this fish that looked really blur, it's the big one with the eyes making it look blur... Lol.. Glo attempted to take quite a few pictures and most were quite nice actually. Went back to harbourfront for lunch and shared a bowl of ice kachang with glo... Walked around and then headed back home.
Just had enough time to bathe and get ready for church.. Service...
How do i explain? When I stepped into the chapel, I started to feel more energetic even though barely 5 min ago, I was trying not to doze off in the car.. There was such this energy that just comes into me each time I go for service...
Guess it's just the effect of not going to church for 2-3 wks and now, there's this longing inside me for that atmosphere.. During worship, still felt quite energetic then later when the mood was more serious and we just worship God, I couldn't help but cry... or at least, there were tears... Cos of these lyrics..
"You were the only one that died for me, gave your life to set me free, so i lift my voice in adoration..." that's so true.. All the troubles that seemed to be bothering me the past week, I just surrendered it up to God. The release was such something that I really needed the whole week, surrendering everything up to God. Then after that was Holy Communion then Pastor Gerald preached about finacial blessing and giving
At first, I didn't really think it applied much to me until I really begun to listen.. Especially the one about setting your priorities right...
~ Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to read one chapter of the Bible but so easy to read the whole best-selling novel?
Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to squeeze going to church into your schedule but so easy to go out with your friends at the last minute?
Isn't it funny how hard it is to memorize bible verses but so easy to repeat the lastest gossip?
Isn't it funny how you sit at the front row of a ball game but sit at the back row in church?
Isn't it funny how 50 bucks seem so big when giving it for offering but seem so small when you go shopping?
Isn't it funny how 1 hour of reading God's Word seem so long but one hour of computer games just seems so short? ~
There were more examples given but this is enough to get my point across... In my life, I know that without the camp last year, I would probably have forgotten the importance of putting God first.. There would be no fire in me to run after God, even now, I'm just trying so hard to make sure the fire doesn't die out..
That's about all for service...
After that, my day was quite normal liao. Gtg and finish hw now.. bb
Sat: Met gloria for IRS project.. went 2 MacDonalds for breakfast... Long time never eat hotcakes with sausage liao... After that, went Sentosa, Dolphin Lagoon... Debating whether or not to get tickets but in the end, just decided to get. Thank goodness... The show actually started even though there was a slight drizzle.. Had front row seats.. The dolphins so cute!!! =) After the whole show which i videotaped down, me and glo had to pick btw andersen of denmark ice cream or taking a photo with the dolphin for $10... Sigh.. the dolphin won... Just for a photo, we paid 10 bucks!! Nvm...
Went underwater world and started being lame... Saw cuttlefish on display and i immediately thot of sotong= blur... So ask glo to take picture with them.. So bad of me, rite? But she agreed cos the display said that actually cuttlefish were the most intelligent of inverbrates (is that how you spell it?)... Then saw jellyfish... so cute! white and small just swimming away and couldn't resist nicknaming it blob blob... lol
Started going on the conveyor belt and saw this fish that looked really blur, it's the big one with the eyes making it look blur... Lol.. Glo attempted to take quite a few pictures and most were quite nice actually. Went back to harbourfront for lunch and shared a bowl of ice kachang with glo... Walked around and then headed back home.
Just had enough time to bathe and get ready for church.. Service...
How do i explain? When I stepped into the chapel, I started to feel more energetic even though barely 5 min ago, I was trying not to doze off in the car.. There was such this energy that just comes into me each time I go for service...
Guess it's just the effect of not going to church for 2-3 wks and now, there's this longing inside me for that atmosphere.. During worship, still felt quite energetic then later when the mood was more serious and we just worship God, I couldn't help but cry... or at least, there were tears... Cos of these lyrics..
"You were the only one that died for me, gave your life to set me free, so i lift my voice in adoration..." that's so true.. All the troubles that seemed to be bothering me the past week, I just surrendered it up to God. The release was such something that I really needed the whole week, surrendering everything up to God. Then after that was Holy Communion then Pastor Gerald preached about finacial blessing and giving
At first, I didn't really think it applied much to me until I really begun to listen.. Especially the one about setting your priorities right...
~ Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to read one chapter of the Bible but so easy to read the whole best-selling novel?
Isn't it funny how it seems so hard to squeeze going to church into your schedule but so easy to go out with your friends at the last minute?
Isn't it funny how hard it is to memorize bible verses but so easy to repeat the lastest gossip?
Isn't it funny how you sit at the front row of a ball game but sit at the back row in church?
Isn't it funny how 50 bucks seem so big when giving it for offering but seem so small when you go shopping?
Isn't it funny how 1 hour of reading God's Word seem so long but one hour of computer games just seems so short? ~
There were more examples given but this is enough to get my point across... In my life, I know that without the camp last year, I would probably have forgotten the importance of putting God first.. There would be no fire in me to run after God, even now, I'm just trying so hard to make sure the fire doesn't die out..
That's about all for service...
After that, my day was quite normal liao. Gtg and finish hw now.. bb
Friday, April 01, 2005
April Fool... Not what it seemed...
Today started quite well and had fun playing april fool jokes on the teachers. During our IT lesson, swapped with 212 and went over to their class. Turns out that Mr Teo wasn't that angry and just told us to go back to our class. He was even smiling away! *faints from shock*
Then during maths, had a new math teacher.. Wasn't intentional but we er... swapped with the other class again and some of us went for geog in 212 while some came over to our class for maths... Ms Sia found out and just told us not to pull that again and told the new math teacher what happened. He took it quite well actually..
Oh ya, before that. During lunch break, hui shi commented that i looked quite upset/moody. Didn't really realize that.. Was just daydreaming but mood was kind of bad, weird... Nothing should b bothering me, unless... it's. Nvm.
For English... the thing that really affected every1 was the trick that we played on ms ow. Shan't elaborate further but now as i think about it... I feel guilty lah. There's something that's upsetting me but I just can't say it out... Sighs... Maybe Monday, everything will be better.
But even as I write this, i think i'm getting too self-centered. All I blog about is myself... Even when my loved ones are facing problems... Guess those problems also affect my mood. I know that I've been more moody and more easily upset recently. It's not me but I can't help it. If I'm not moody then everything will just accumalate and I'll break down soon. So all those reading this, keep me in prayer, can? I just want 2 be the old me, where i laughed way more often and wrote less depressing posts...
But I'm sceptical.. My own problems aren't that bad, it's just worrying over everyone else that's taking it's toll on me cos I just care too much... Caring isn't bad but yet... Really can't pinpoint when or why the change in me occurred... If this is growing up, I'll rather remain a child 4eva.
Then during maths, had a new math teacher.. Wasn't intentional but we er... swapped with the other class again and some of us went for geog in 212 while some came over to our class for maths... Ms Sia found out and just told us not to pull that again and told the new math teacher what happened. He took it quite well actually..
Oh ya, before that. During lunch break, hui shi commented that i looked quite upset/moody. Didn't really realize that.. Was just daydreaming but mood was kind of bad, weird... Nothing should b bothering me, unless... it's. Nvm.
For English... the thing that really affected every1 was the trick that we played on ms ow. Shan't elaborate further but now as i think about it... I feel guilty lah. There's something that's upsetting me but I just can't say it out... Sighs... Maybe Monday, everything will be better.
But even as I write this, i think i'm getting too self-centered. All I blog about is myself... Even when my loved ones are facing problems... Guess those problems also affect my mood. I know that I've been more moody and more easily upset recently. It's not me but I can't help it. If I'm not moody then everything will just accumalate and I'll break down soon. So all those reading this, keep me in prayer, can? I just want 2 be the old me, where i laughed way more often and wrote less depressing posts...
But I'm sceptical.. My own problems aren't that bad, it's just worrying over everyone else that's taking it's toll on me cos I just care too much... Caring isn't bad but yet... Really can't pinpoint when or why the change in me occurred... If this is growing up, I'll rather remain a child 4eva.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Abortion, sorrow.
Actually wanted to blog a long post but due to time constraints...
Today had sci lesson and ms chee showed us the video on abortion
Hui Shi and kor had already prepared me for the "gruesomeness" of the video so i thot it'll b ok...
But as i watched the video, this sorrow just came from within me..
I had thought about past incidents.. So as the guy in the video was talking, i was like trying not to cry but failing... So by the time the video ended, I was like couldn't talk otherwise i'll cry somemore.. Then ms chee was like "if any1 feels uncomfortable after watching this video, u can come and talk to me." Then she came over to me and asked if i was alright. Nice of her but i just can't talk to her.. Asked Glo to just help me fend off comments and just escaped to the balcony.
But heard Lim Yu saying "This is all propaganda.." I don't know mayb i was too emotional but she was lucky i didn't go over and slap her or tell her to shut up... Those who know me know i'm hardly that angry but Lim Yu was lucky... When she laughed during the video, i was already quite upset at her and also bcos of bad memories...
Went to the balcony and just cried the pain out and sang christian songs and asked God to give me strength but still I couldn't help but feel upset... Thought I was strong enough and had put the past behind me but now, I realized the truth... Still am very emotional when it comes to this topic... But thanks to Glo, Shao and Hui Shi who cheered me up and comforted me, i stopped crying but it still hurt inside... Thanks Shao for making me laugh! =) decided to go venezia to cheer myself up and then even went to 7 eleven after that for slurpee but when I came back, I knew that i was still upset, just not showing it...
God, I know that there was a reason for what happened but please, I need you to give me the strength. I just can't survive through science, especially for this topic..
Those reading this, i'm choosing not to put the content of the video down cos there's no point. Refer to gan jie's blog... Cos if i write anymore, I'll break down again...
Gtg now. Rush out hw, where got the mood???
Today had sci lesson and ms chee showed us the video on abortion
Hui Shi and kor had already prepared me for the "gruesomeness" of the video so i thot it'll b ok...
But as i watched the video, this sorrow just came from within me..
I had thought about past incidents.. So as the guy in the video was talking, i was like trying not to cry but failing... So by the time the video ended, I was like couldn't talk otherwise i'll cry somemore.. Then ms chee was like "if any1 feels uncomfortable after watching this video, u can come and talk to me." Then she came over to me and asked if i was alright. Nice of her but i just can't talk to her.. Asked Glo to just help me fend off comments and just escaped to the balcony.
But heard Lim Yu saying "This is all propaganda.." I don't know mayb i was too emotional but she was lucky i didn't go over and slap her or tell her to shut up... Those who know me know i'm hardly that angry but Lim Yu was lucky... When she laughed during the video, i was already quite upset at her and also bcos of bad memories...
Went to the balcony and just cried the pain out and sang christian songs and asked God to give me strength but still I couldn't help but feel upset... Thought I was strong enough and had put the past behind me but now, I realized the truth... Still am very emotional when it comes to this topic... But thanks to Glo, Shao and Hui Shi who cheered me up and comforted me, i stopped crying but it still hurt inside... Thanks Shao for making me laugh! =) decided to go venezia to cheer myself up and then even went to 7 eleven after that for slurpee but when I came back, I knew that i was still upset, just not showing it...
God, I know that there was a reason for what happened but please, I need you to give me the strength. I just can't survive through science, especially for this topic..
Those reading this, i'm choosing not to put the content of the video down cos there's no point. Refer to gan jie's blog... Cos if i write anymore, I'll break down again...
Gtg now. Rush out hw, where got the mood???
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Changes to my life..
Back from Malacca at long last even though it was only a 3d/2n trip...
It was my 6th time going there.. but this time, i spent so much $$... feels so guilty..
As usual, just went to the normal few places but each time I go malacca, there are a few things that i just must buy like keychains, batik shirt, etc...
Then ate like durian chendol that was so sweet... twice...
Breakfast was continental breakfast and my dad got me hooked on eating bread with butter and sugar.. Very sweet but doesn't really mattter, I have a sweet tooth...
Bought a nice necklace and decided to buy for my 3 closeset frenz too... Kor, relax, it's not those "girly" necklaces, i think u'll like it.
Just walked around, bought things, ate and slept. Quite relaxing actually
And of course, even though i brought hw there, who actually does hw during the holiday?? =p
Due to lack of space in the hotel room, i slept on the floor.. It was actually quite fun sleeping in the sleeping bag. Very cozy...
Not much more to write about other than my shock at the fact that i spent quite a bit on this trip and that i bought some things i didn't think i'll buy again... which equals to buying repeats of some souvenoirs...(is that how u spell it?) but anyway, was quite glad to b back in singapore. just missed blogging, msn, etc...Sigh, how addictive technology is..
Anyway, in the few hours i was back, just found out some things i wish i never found out... But then again, if i didn't find out, i would b kept in the dark which i dun like.. Conflicting, isn't it?? Oh, did i fail to mention that 2 nites ago, i had this dream that freaked me out... It seemed so real but if it comes true, my life will so be turned upside down... But sincerely hope it's just a dream...
Being quite random today cos in the mood to just rattle off. So sorry if my blog entry gets confusing...
It was my 6th time going there.. but this time, i spent so much $$... feels so guilty..
As usual, just went to the normal few places but each time I go malacca, there are a few things that i just must buy like keychains, batik shirt, etc...
Then ate like durian chendol that was so sweet... twice...
Breakfast was continental breakfast and my dad got me hooked on eating bread with butter and sugar.. Very sweet but doesn't really mattter, I have a sweet tooth...
Bought a nice necklace and decided to buy for my 3 closeset frenz too... Kor, relax, it's not those "girly" necklaces, i think u'll like it.
Just walked around, bought things, ate and slept. Quite relaxing actually
And of course, even though i brought hw there, who actually does hw during the holiday?? =p
Due to lack of space in the hotel room, i slept on the floor.. It was actually quite fun sleeping in the sleeping bag. Very cozy...
Not much more to write about other than my shock at the fact that i spent quite a bit on this trip and that i bought some things i didn't think i'll buy again... which equals to buying repeats of some souvenoirs...(is that how u spell it?) but anyway, was quite glad to b back in singapore. just missed blogging, msn, etc...Sigh, how addictive technology is..
Anyway, in the few hours i was back, just found out some things i wish i never found out... But then again, if i didn't find out, i would b kept in the dark which i dun like.. Conflicting, isn't it?? Oh, did i fail to mention that 2 nites ago, i had this dream that freaked me out... It seemed so real but if it comes true, my life will so be turned upside down... But sincerely hope it's just a dream...
Being quite random today cos in the mood to just rattle off. So sorry if my blog entry gets confusing...
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Unpredictable
My last blog entry's mood was depressed, upset, etc..
It'll be such a change from the blog entry today.. Qu guo tian qing le.
Yesterday, got some assignments back. Marks weren't lik very gd or what, but it's above average so quite satisfied lah..
Then bowling... It rocks! Went over to bowl with sufen, noreen, vanessa and xin yan. Finally had a chance to play game after so long... First game: 97, 2nd game: 114, 3rd game: 131! I know some might consider this low but at least it makes my average above 110, finally... Besides, 131's my new high score.. Then went home still in such a good mood and surfed the net til mum told me to take care of baby brother.. sighs.
Today was quite normal lah, the usual lesson, etc. Not much to blog abt actually other than the fact that hui shi has just infected me with this urge to decorate the front page of my notebooks just like her... Random quotes, lyrics, feelings all filled the cover.. You wouldn't understand til u see the notebook..
Now i know what to blog about... During assembly, Mr Tan showed this extracts from this blog.. This guy/gal was insulting Nanyang girls just because of one case then he fit all of us into this stereotype.. That's a bit unfair, don't you agree?? Never mind, shall not devote all the time to this guy. No point..
Got to go and rush out homework so bye bye.
It'll be such a change from the blog entry today.. Qu guo tian qing le.
Yesterday, got some assignments back. Marks weren't lik very gd or what, but it's above average so quite satisfied lah..
Then bowling... It rocks! Went over to bowl with sufen, noreen, vanessa and xin yan. Finally had a chance to play game after so long... First game: 97, 2nd game: 114, 3rd game: 131! I know some might consider this low but at least it makes my average above 110, finally... Besides, 131's my new high score.. Then went home still in such a good mood and surfed the net til mum told me to take care of baby brother.. sighs.
Today was quite normal lah, the usual lesson, etc. Not much to blog abt actually other than the fact that hui shi has just infected me with this urge to decorate the front page of my notebooks just like her... Random quotes, lyrics, feelings all filled the cover.. You wouldn't understand til u see the notebook..
Now i know what to blog about... During assembly, Mr Tan showed this extracts from this blog.. This guy/gal was insulting Nanyang girls just because of one case then he fit all of us into this stereotype.. That's a bit unfair, don't you agree?? Never mind, shall not devote all the time to this guy. No point..
Got to go and rush out homework so bye bye.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Disagreements... Sorry.
Hope i can verbalize my thoughts now about what has happened...
Today, it was the usual about Jared and his actions... I tried to defend him but that made matters worse... Hui Shi, Gloria and Shao, i know you think that Jared's a "foot-washing baptist" and that you will cling on to what you believe regardless of whatever i say. I have realized that all this retorting is wearing me down and in a way, affecting our friendship so from today onwards, i shall try my best not to make any comments on this subject...
Regarding our friendship, I shall address this once and for all. i treasure your friendship and i know that we have our differences. But this is driving us apart slowly... Hui Shi, what i m going 2 say won't b much of a surprise to u but for the rest... Ever since the end of last year, I knew that this year won't b easy and that our friendship would be put to the test.. You can blame me for that, it doesn't matter. I admit that I'm the one changing but even though it'll hurt if i lose ur friendship bcos i choose to follow my beliefs, I've been prepared for that.
Gan jie, i noe ur reaction. But I just want to say, you will always be my gan jie no matter what, whether you choose to accept my choice in changing my lifestyle and my beliefs, it doesn't matter... I want to be your friend and to be there for you. No matter what, I promise to lend you that listening ear...
To shao kor, I noe that when i change, you might not accept it, you will most probably give me the cold shoulder but kor, u'll always be my kor and no matter what, i'll always remember the fun i had bullying you... lol =p
Gloria, you listened to me and i thank you for that. But even though u will probably be able to accept the changes better than the rest, I know there are still areas in which we disagree... Glo, I had so much happiness laughing at ur "blurness" and I will always remember how you cheered me up even though you weren't in a too gd mood urself. Thanks
To all of you, I hope we can still be firm friends and be like last time, but that's not possible. What ever happens after this, thanks for being my friends and bring such happiness and joy to my life...
This blog sounds like I'm abt to leave you all or something, doesn't it? Dunno why i m writing all this but it just came out and i just typed it... Promise to get a tagboard soon for all ur comments...
Today, it was the usual about Jared and his actions... I tried to defend him but that made matters worse... Hui Shi, Gloria and Shao, i know you think that Jared's a "foot-washing baptist" and that you will cling on to what you believe regardless of whatever i say. I have realized that all this retorting is wearing me down and in a way, affecting our friendship so from today onwards, i shall try my best not to make any comments on this subject...
Regarding our friendship, I shall address this once and for all. i treasure your friendship and i know that we have our differences. But this is driving us apart slowly... Hui Shi, what i m going 2 say won't b much of a surprise to u but for the rest... Ever since the end of last year, I knew that this year won't b easy and that our friendship would be put to the test.. You can blame me for that, it doesn't matter. I admit that I'm the one changing but even though it'll hurt if i lose ur friendship bcos i choose to follow my beliefs, I've been prepared for that.
Gan jie, i noe ur reaction. But I just want to say, you will always be my gan jie no matter what, whether you choose to accept my choice in changing my lifestyle and my beliefs, it doesn't matter... I want to be your friend and to be there for you. No matter what, I promise to lend you that listening ear...
To shao kor, I noe that when i change, you might not accept it, you will most probably give me the cold shoulder but kor, u'll always be my kor and no matter what, i'll always remember the fun i had bullying you... lol =p
Gloria, you listened to me and i thank you for that. But even though u will probably be able to accept the changes better than the rest, I know there are still areas in which we disagree... Glo, I had so much happiness laughing at ur "blurness" and I will always remember how you cheered me up even though you weren't in a too gd mood urself. Thanks
To all of you, I hope we can still be firm friends and be like last time, but that's not possible. What ever happens after this, thanks for being my friends and bring such happiness and joy to my life...
This blog sounds like I'm abt to leave you all or something, doesn't it? Dunno why i m writing all this but it just came out and i just typed it... Promise to get a tagboard soon for all ur comments...
One week, mood swings yet again...
Just a quick blog entry about MEW (Maths Enrichment Workshop) first... Then will get to the main purpose of today's entry...
MEW was quite fun lah... The games were ok lah. Fav part was the maths trail... Turns out some of the places i was quite familiar with so teammates thot i very "pro"... you ze zhong shi?? Sigh, wish i could have entered jigsaw puzzle world though..
Don't really feel like blogging abt MEW so it's just this few lines, more details, ask me in person/thru email. But i doubt any1 of u all that wu liao...
Fast foward to Sat.. Forgot that I had CSP and went for piano or at least was on the way there, when Vanessa called. Thanks Vanessa for calling me otherwise i die liao. Went sungei buloh and spotted cute, cute squirrel... then later spotted countless mudskippers and crabs.. Then was sent back to sch where i realized never bring wallet... So had to ask strangers for coins.. So weird?
Went church to help with the worship experience decorations but half way went for cell. Cell was quite fun lah, play some games then later was released a bit late. I couldn't help but rush down to the chapel just to see the decorations... So sad... I couldn't stay for the worship experience, had to go for hong ming kor kor's wedding.
Went there then sat thru all those ceremony.. But when I heard the wedding vows being spoken, i couldn't help but get a bit bitter...
Flashback to the past...
When some people said these vows yet just because of his character, he broke it... What do these vows even mean to him?? Was it just words that he said? He caused my tears... the sorrow, the pain. I wasn't the only one affected but did he care? NO! I'm normally not so bitter and i thot i forgived him but still, I can't help being bitter. He promised and made the vow, was given chances time and time again but? He still chose the other route not caring abt me... But that was just the start.. Several years after, he actually kept his remarriage a secret from me! It seems as if he doesn't hold me in regard... Even til today, what he does is still hard to forgive.. I tried to forgive but i can't forget...
Told my mum abt it at night and she agreed with me and tried to cheer me up.. It worked, slightly. But now, i've realized. Each time i hear the wedding vow being said... I will b sceptical and remember him and how he broke it...
Note: Those who understand, good... Those who don't, think... But i'm being selective of what info u pple will noe...
Today... went into that debate with hui shi, shao and glo about some issues.. I feel... torn
On one side are my friends, on the other, my religion and my beliefs... I just can't put my thots into words but i'll like to use the lyrics of this song...
Your word is a light unto my path
Your word guides me through my darkest light
And even though sometimes your ways I cannot understand
I'll never walk away beacuse my future's in your hand...
I don't care what people will say, I'm running after you
I won't turn back and go their way, I'm running after you
No matter what may come my way, I'm running after you
It's you I'm following today, I'm running after you...
Hui Shi, in reply to your blog entry... I know that you are willing to be there for me and for all of us but still... There are a few reasons why I don't turn to you...
1) Different stand on some issues...
2) Feel more comfortable talking to people who don't really know me cos that equals to "I don't care what they think", but if i talk to you, glo or shao, I'll be too conscious of your reactions
3) Don't want to burden you further, you have your own problems...
These are mainly the reasons... Thanks for offering and i will turn to you but for now, you're not the most suitable choice. No offence, i hope...
That's all for now... Too much things that i can't verbalize...
MEW was quite fun lah... The games were ok lah. Fav part was the maths trail... Turns out some of the places i was quite familiar with so teammates thot i very "pro"... you ze zhong shi?? Sigh, wish i could have entered jigsaw puzzle world though..
Don't really feel like blogging abt MEW so it's just this few lines, more details, ask me in person/thru email. But i doubt any1 of u all that wu liao...
Fast foward to Sat.. Forgot that I had CSP and went for piano or at least was on the way there, when Vanessa called. Thanks Vanessa for calling me otherwise i die liao. Went sungei buloh and spotted cute, cute squirrel... then later spotted countless mudskippers and crabs.. Then was sent back to sch where i realized never bring wallet... So had to ask strangers for coins.. So weird?
Went church to help with the worship experience decorations but half way went for cell. Cell was quite fun lah, play some games then later was released a bit late. I couldn't help but rush down to the chapel just to see the decorations... So sad... I couldn't stay for the worship experience, had to go for hong ming kor kor's wedding.
Went there then sat thru all those ceremony.. But when I heard the wedding vows being spoken, i couldn't help but get a bit bitter...
Flashback to the past...
When some people said these vows yet just because of his character, he broke it... What do these vows even mean to him?? Was it just words that he said? He caused my tears... the sorrow, the pain. I wasn't the only one affected but did he care? NO! I'm normally not so bitter and i thot i forgived him but still, I can't help being bitter. He promised and made the vow, was given chances time and time again but? He still chose the other route not caring abt me... But that was just the start.. Several years after, he actually kept his remarriage a secret from me! It seems as if he doesn't hold me in regard... Even til today, what he does is still hard to forgive.. I tried to forgive but i can't forget...
Told my mum abt it at night and she agreed with me and tried to cheer me up.. It worked, slightly. But now, i've realized. Each time i hear the wedding vow being said... I will b sceptical and remember him and how he broke it...
Note: Those who understand, good... Those who don't, think... But i'm being selective of what info u pple will noe...
Today... went into that debate with hui shi, shao and glo about some issues.. I feel... torn
On one side are my friends, on the other, my religion and my beliefs... I just can't put my thots into words but i'll like to use the lyrics of this song...
Your word is a light unto my path
Your word guides me through my darkest light
And even though sometimes your ways I cannot understand
I'll never walk away beacuse my future's in your hand...
I don't care what people will say, I'm running after you
I won't turn back and go their way, I'm running after you
No matter what may come my way, I'm running after you
It's you I'm following today, I'm running after you...
Hui Shi, in reply to your blog entry... I know that you are willing to be there for me and for all of us but still... There are a few reasons why I don't turn to you...
1) Different stand on some issues...
2) Feel more comfortable talking to people who don't really know me cos that equals to "I don't care what they think", but if i talk to you, glo or shao, I'll be too conscious of your reactions
3) Don't want to burden you further, you have your own problems...
These are mainly the reasons... Thanks for offering and i will turn to you but for now, you're not the most suitable choice. No offence, i hope...
That's all for now... Too much things that i can't verbalize...
Monday, March 14, 2005
Time flies...
Been a week since i blogged, so b prepared for a rather long entry...
Wednesday: Start of lifeskills camp.. Had to plan how to advertise NY to this yr's P6 Geppers... Most of the time, we (Glo, Hui Shi, Shao and I) were just slacking and planning on going out this thurs.. Then someone came up with the great idea to invite him lah, then was forced to otherwise, the alternatives were worse... Then after that, sat through some workshops on "Peak Performance" but most of it was taught b4... So most of us weren't paying attention and frustrated the teacher to death... After 4-5 hrs of that, had to play some games in the school. Ok lah, will survive.. Then, finally dinner. But then me and Glo didn't feel like eating so just shared one pack and we still couldn't finish... After dinner, went audi to watch TKAM. Very nice, Jem, Scout and Dill all looked so cute. Problem was: I was very sleepy and had to struggled to keep awake. Thank goodness I brought doggie along. Finally the show ended and it was supposed to be lights out. But most of us didn't really care. actually, we planned on waking up at 11:40pm to resume playing cards, but we were too tired and just fell asleep.
Thursday: Went Costa Sands.The first part of the day was just team building activities... And they taught us some "romantic" dance... Rite... Then had western for lunch. Quality of food: ok lah.. not as bad as Wed's dinner. Then changed into swimming costume for later water activies. Had river crossing which really fell short of expectations. So short! But when we came out of there, realized Glo got scratched by twigs. Some cuts on her knee and ankle.. Then washed up and wore just swimming costumes... Sigh, all the comments after that. Thanks gan jie for getting all the attention, i was spared.. oops? Then went to the pool and had some games, quite fun lah. Then finally can bathe but toilets too packed so most of us just changed. dinner, then preparation fo campfire item. Campfire was really a let-down. Poor lightings so couldn't see much... By the time, it finally ended, it was 10 plus. In the end, only reached back 2 sch 12mn. Fell asleep quite fast
Friday: Last day, had telematch then cleaning up then the final debrief cum prize presentation. Wow, our class actually won 2 prizes! Prizes were All junk food! Yummy.. Reached hm, bathe and just chilled out by watching Princess Diaries 2, finally... After months of waiting. Show was quite cliche but the songs were quite nice. Tempted to get the soundtrack...
Sat: Went for IMprint course, quite fun, learned quite a lot. Shall not elaborate too much otherwise i'll never end this blog entry.. Then service... felt out of place again, no big surprise. Was quite relieved when service ended. That's so not like me. Guess was feeling out of sorts.. Then at hm, Dad was giving me a "mini" lecture, sigh.. A day that looked ok turned out so bad.
Sun: yu guo tian qing... It was quite ok lah, went grandma's hse in the afternoon 2 celebrate her b'dae. Saw Glo (couz) there. Pleasant surprise. Talked to her so much and then went downstairs for a walk... Sad that i didn't bring money out. So much nice things at the christian bookshop...
Today: it seemed to be a normal day til Dad called. Asked me to take a look at the newspaper article abt Friendster and said would talk to me tonite. That equals bad news. My day is spoiled... Trying to be optimistic but just can't....
That's all for now. No longer in blogging mood.
Wednesday: Start of lifeskills camp.. Had to plan how to advertise NY to this yr's P6 Geppers... Most of the time, we (Glo, Hui Shi, Shao and I) were just slacking and planning on going out this thurs.. Then someone came up with the great idea to invite him lah, then was forced to otherwise, the alternatives were worse... Then after that, sat through some workshops on "Peak Performance" but most of it was taught b4... So most of us weren't paying attention and frustrated the teacher to death... After 4-5 hrs of that, had to play some games in the school. Ok lah, will survive.. Then, finally dinner. But then me and Glo didn't feel like eating so just shared one pack and we still couldn't finish... After dinner, went audi to watch TKAM. Very nice, Jem, Scout and Dill all looked so cute. Problem was: I was very sleepy and had to struggled to keep awake. Thank goodness I brought doggie along. Finally the show ended and it was supposed to be lights out. But most of us didn't really care. actually, we planned on waking up at 11:40pm to resume playing cards, but we were too tired and just fell asleep.
Thursday: Went Costa Sands.The first part of the day was just team building activities... And they taught us some "romantic" dance... Rite... Then had western for lunch. Quality of food: ok lah.. not as bad as Wed's dinner. Then changed into swimming costume for later water activies. Had river crossing which really fell short of expectations. So short! But when we came out of there, realized Glo got scratched by twigs. Some cuts on her knee and ankle.. Then washed up and wore just swimming costumes... Sigh, all the comments after that. Thanks gan jie for getting all the attention, i was spared.. oops? Then went to the pool and had some games, quite fun lah. Then finally can bathe but toilets too packed so most of us just changed. dinner, then preparation fo campfire item. Campfire was really a let-down. Poor lightings so couldn't see much... By the time, it finally ended, it was 10 plus. In the end, only reached back 2 sch 12mn. Fell asleep quite fast
Friday: Last day, had telematch then cleaning up then the final debrief cum prize presentation. Wow, our class actually won 2 prizes! Prizes were All junk food! Yummy.. Reached hm, bathe and just chilled out by watching Princess Diaries 2, finally... After months of waiting. Show was quite cliche but the songs were quite nice. Tempted to get the soundtrack...
Sat: Went for IMprint course, quite fun, learned quite a lot. Shall not elaborate too much otherwise i'll never end this blog entry.. Then service... felt out of place again, no big surprise. Was quite relieved when service ended. That's so not like me. Guess was feeling out of sorts.. Then at hm, Dad was giving me a "mini" lecture, sigh.. A day that looked ok turned out so bad.
Sun: yu guo tian qing... It was quite ok lah, went grandma's hse in the afternoon 2 celebrate her b'dae. Saw Glo (couz) there. Pleasant surprise. Talked to her so much and then went downstairs for a walk... Sad that i didn't bring money out. So much nice things at the christian bookshop...
Today: it seemed to be a normal day til Dad called. Asked me to take a look at the newspaper article abt Friendster and said would talk to me tonite. That equals bad news. My day is spoiled... Trying to be optimistic but just can't....
That's all for now. No longer in blogging mood.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Mood swings?
Long time no blog cos just didn't feel like it..
So to summarize everything real fast, wasn't in a very gd mood these few days.
On Sunday, some person had to get me so frustrated and I was controlling my anger and trying not to raise my voice at that person. I mean, can't u b considerate of other's feelings? But nvm.
Then yesterday, realized that I've not been keeping my promise. I've been compromising and following the world. I worry. I've start to grow immune to the sins around me. It took a few days b4 my eyes were open. Next time, how long would it take? Would I even realize that I'm sinning? Feeling so depressed so during class time, went 2 the balcony and just sit/stand there and look at the clouds, sing some christian songs. It was so peaceful there but my problems still bothered me. Thanks Glo for realizing that something was up, u left me alone. That was the rite choice. I needed the peace.
Went home, still in that mood. Decided may as well talk to someone who mite actually understand how i feel. Glo, u do understand but not enough. You're one of the few that actually listens to me instead of the other way round. That someone, thanks for the advice and the sharing. U've told me how 2 face the challenges. It wouldn't b easy but I shall try my best. God will give me the strength. I never really knew u yet u listened, thanks for that.
Glo, when reading this, u'll noe what i'm talking abt but pls keep it 2 urself...
Then today, went 2 the HSBC Treetop Walk. Wasn't what i expected.
However, when on the bridge, looking at my surroundings, I was just reminded of this song:
~Who compares to you
Who set the stars in their place
You who calm the raging sea
That came crashing over me
Who compares to you
You who bring the morning light
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in your great love~
It was so calm, so peaceful. I wish we could have stayed that longer..
Not much more 2 blog abt..
Oh ya, will b off to camp for the nest 2 1/2 days. B back on fri. Will try to blog.
So to summarize everything real fast, wasn't in a very gd mood these few days.
On Sunday, some person had to get me so frustrated and I was controlling my anger and trying not to raise my voice at that person. I mean, can't u b considerate of other's feelings? But nvm.
Then yesterday, realized that I've not been keeping my promise. I've been compromising and following the world. I worry. I've start to grow immune to the sins around me. It took a few days b4 my eyes were open. Next time, how long would it take? Would I even realize that I'm sinning? Feeling so depressed so during class time, went 2 the balcony and just sit/stand there and look at the clouds, sing some christian songs. It was so peaceful there but my problems still bothered me. Thanks Glo for realizing that something was up, u left me alone. That was the rite choice. I needed the peace.
Went home, still in that mood. Decided may as well talk to someone who mite actually understand how i feel. Glo, u do understand but not enough. You're one of the few that actually listens to me instead of the other way round. That someone, thanks for the advice and the sharing. U've told me how 2 face the challenges. It wouldn't b easy but I shall try my best. God will give me the strength. I never really knew u yet u listened, thanks for that.
Glo, when reading this, u'll noe what i'm talking abt but pls keep it 2 urself...
Then today, went 2 the HSBC Treetop Walk. Wasn't what i expected.
However, when on the bridge, looking at my surroundings, I was just reminded of this song:
~Who compares to you
Who set the stars in their place
You who calm the raging sea
That came crashing over me
Who compares to you
You who bring the morning light
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in your great love~
It was so calm, so peaceful. I wish we could have stayed that longer..
Not much more 2 blog abt..
Oh ya, will b off to camp for the nest 2 1/2 days. B back on fri. Will try to blog.
Friday, February 25, 2005
So many things, so little time
Due to time constraints, I will have to squeeze/summarize everything that happened for the past wk into one short entry..
19/2: Glo and Shao came to my church for E.D.G.E!!! But b4 that, went serene for a drink first... I treated =( Nvm... then went to church and found chloe and "reunited" those 3... FYI, Glo, Shao and Chloe from same primary school... Then, Glo and Shao had lots of fun... Shall not elaborate. E.D.G.E was quite nice, very close to everyone's heart... This feeling that there's something lacking in your life.... But fastfoward to dinner. Went with chloe, glo and shao to serene (again!) for dinner.. They had so much fun and laughter from the conversation we were having... couldn't help but agree that dinner was really funny... I was really blurred during dinner... Wasn't observant, happy now, Glo??
20/2: Not much, just slacking and more slacking...
21/2: Bah! They cancelled Maths Olympiad training after all this trouble i went thru deciding... Nvm, at least now more time to myself... Got new bowling uniform. 1 red top and 1 white top... Have 2 wait til B div competition then can wear... so sad.
22/2: Chinese test, was cramming away b4 chinese.
23/2: History test
24/2: Science test... Got back CL marks... 74/100.... Ok lah... A2, short of 1 mark to A1!!!! Ah.... Shall work harder... The teachers got bad planning, so many test in one week...
Today: Got addicted to jazz jackrabbit, had ite.. Mr Ngiow never come so "free" period, but had to do maths ws. Then Ms Ow read out a poem written by her to the class.... =p lol, not bad lah, but then again, she's an el teacher, her poems should of course b of a gd quality... Not much liao. Oh ya, during recess, bought 3 cups of almond jelly that the guides were selling. Like it cos very sweet...
19/2: Glo and Shao came to my church for E.D.G.E!!! But b4 that, went serene for a drink first... I treated =( Nvm... then went to church and found chloe and "reunited" those 3... FYI, Glo, Shao and Chloe from same primary school... Then, Glo and Shao had lots of fun... Shall not elaborate. E.D.G.E was quite nice, very close to everyone's heart... This feeling that there's something lacking in your life.... But fastfoward to dinner. Went with chloe, glo and shao to serene (again!) for dinner.. They had so much fun and laughter from the conversation we were having... couldn't help but agree that dinner was really funny... I was really blurred during dinner... Wasn't observant, happy now, Glo??
20/2: Not much, just slacking and more slacking...
21/2: Bah! They cancelled Maths Olympiad training after all this trouble i went thru deciding... Nvm, at least now more time to myself... Got new bowling uniform. 1 red top and 1 white top... Have 2 wait til B div competition then can wear... so sad.
22/2: Chinese test, was cramming away b4 chinese.
23/2: History test
24/2: Science test... Got back CL marks... 74/100.... Ok lah... A2, short of 1 mark to A1!!!! Ah.... Shall work harder... The teachers got bad planning, so many test in one week...
Today: Got addicted to jazz jackrabbit, had ite.. Mr Ngiow never come so "free" period, but had to do maths ws. Then Ms Ow read out a poem written by her to the class.... =p lol, not bad lah, but then again, she's an el teacher, her poems should of course b of a gd quality... Not much liao. Oh ya, during recess, bought 3 cups of almond jelly that the guides were selling. Like it cos very sweet...
Friday, February 18, 2005
Indecision... Strength needed, again...
~I lay my life down at ur feet, cos u're the only one I need,
I turn to you and you are always there...
In troubled times, it's you i seek, I put u first, that's all i need,
I humble all i am, all to u...
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for ~
Sigh.. Now thinking of whether to go for Maths Olympiad.
Some of my friends aren't really helping with the decision. I'm just getting more confused.
I know that I really want to go but hesitation creeps in when realize that i'll b alone and that it'll take up my free time.
I just feel so lost again. Maybe the real problem isn't about Maths Olympiad, it's just the last straw that breaks me.. I can't absorb all this at once. I too need someone to spare me a listening ear but who? And when will that person come into my life?
Problems just all come and sure, every1 can deal with one or two problems but when all combined together and u're all alone? Without ur family and friends there to support and guide you through?
I know that my family will be there for me but now, both my parents are not well and i just dun want to trouble them, just want to let them rest and recuperate. My mum is stressed out at work already, i dun want her to worry about me too...
So God's the only one I can turn to now but... I hope to hear from God soon..
I'll have to tell the teacher-in-charge by the end of the school day latest..
I shall be strong and try to focus on one problem at a time..
I turn to you and you are always there...
In troubled times, it's you i seek, I put u first, that's all i need,
I humble all i am, all to u...
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for ~
Sigh.. Now thinking of whether to go for Maths Olympiad.
Some of my friends aren't really helping with the decision. I'm just getting more confused.
I know that I really want to go but hesitation creeps in when realize that i'll b alone and that it'll take up my free time.
I just feel so lost again. Maybe the real problem isn't about Maths Olympiad, it's just the last straw that breaks me.. I can't absorb all this at once. I too need someone to spare me a listening ear but who? And when will that person come into my life?
Problems just all come and sure, every1 can deal with one or two problems but when all combined together and u're all alone? Without ur family and friends there to support and guide you through?
I know that my family will be there for me but now, both my parents are not well and i just dun want to trouble them, just want to let them rest and recuperate. My mum is stressed out at work already, i dun want her to worry about me too...
So God's the only one I can turn to now but... I hope to hear from God soon..
I'll have to tell the teacher-in-charge by the end of the school day latest..
I shall be strong and try to focus on one problem at a time..
Monday, February 14, 2005
Happy Valentine's Day!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY ! (to everyone)
Who ever said that valentine's day was only for couples??
I disagree...
Cos my mum also wishes me happy valentine's day and gives me present...
Lucky me, rite?
Cos went jurong point with parents to look at jewellery..
Dad was buying for mum then i just tagged along..
Then to cut long story short, cos mum asking me to get offline..
Went jigsaw puzzle shop to buy frame for the 1000 pc jigsaw puzzle..
but saw something i like, then parents buy for me.
950pcs disney character puzzle!! Yippee!
Then i went toys r us to buy doggie for jonathan.. So cute..
Going to take and cuddle once in a while
Gtg liao. That's all for now.
Who ever said that valentine's day was only for couples??
I disagree...
Cos my mum also wishes me happy valentine's day and gives me present...
Lucky me, rite?
Cos went jurong point with parents to look at jewellery..
Dad was buying for mum then i just tagged along..
Then to cut long story short, cos mum asking me to get offline..
Went jigsaw puzzle shop to buy frame for the 1000 pc jigsaw puzzle..
but saw something i like, then parents buy for me.
950pcs disney character puzzle!! Yippee!
Then i went toys r us to buy doggie for jonathan.. So cute..
Going to take and cuddle once in a while
Gtg liao. That's all for now.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
CNY here again...
Quite a bit 2 blog about...
Tue had CNY celebrations in school then just 2 irritate kor, wore a pink shirt... =)
Then after CNY celebrations, I rushed back to HPPS with hui shi, gloria and kor.
Just said "hi" to the teachers then rushed down 2 quadrangle where everyone else was there. Everyone = sammi, teresa, most of the boys...
Then talked to sammi and teresa and watch the boys attempt to play soccer... (boys, dun kill me, k?)
Was running btw HPPS frenz and NYGH frenz...
But a while b4 i left, the rest of the RI boys came... Bad timing...
Some people really haven't changed lor... But nvm..
Oh ya, 4got 2 mention that kor shouted "Jose" so loudly just for fun... We were being wu liao lah..
Kor just gave Jose a new nickname.. "Mr Sunshine"... He wore bright yellow lor..
Then after that, gan jie forced me to say "bye" to Nicolas before I could go...
Then sammi also agreed and made me go over to where Nicolas was lor...
Unfair! Then after that, went j8 to have lunch and walk around.
Went comics connection and the 4 of us bought matching crosses... Just different colours..
Then went gaga over the things in gift-a-name.. And as usual, took neoprints.
After that, saw michael and elisha...
That's another long story... Not going 2 bother...
Then first day of cny, not much, just the usual visiting of family members...
Oh ya... couz and her boyfriend and my mum had fun teasing me lor...
Cos i was about 2 follow couz and boyfriend to the boyfriend's relatives hse..
Then couz's boyfriend said something like "I have many male cousins." then mum started making comments and couz promised to see whether got any suitable guys...
Sigh... My mum! believe it or not???
Then watched "Seoul Raiders" at 11:20...
Wah! Very tired after that.. Only slept at 2..
Then today, went visiting... in a pink cheongsam.
Kor, if u read this, dun crinch...
Couz had fun messing with my hair and put eyeshadow for me...
Mum asked me not 2 wear my specs somemore...
Very tiring lah... Everything a bit blurred...
No choice lah. Only once a year. Whew!
Better go now lah. Getting a bit tired...
Tue had CNY celebrations in school then just 2 irritate kor, wore a pink shirt... =)
Then after CNY celebrations, I rushed back to HPPS with hui shi, gloria and kor.
Just said "hi" to the teachers then rushed down 2 quadrangle where everyone else was there. Everyone = sammi, teresa, most of the boys...
Then talked to sammi and teresa and watch the boys attempt to play soccer... (boys, dun kill me, k?)
Was running btw HPPS frenz and NYGH frenz...
But a while b4 i left, the rest of the RI boys came... Bad timing...
Some people really haven't changed lor... But nvm..
Oh ya, 4got 2 mention that kor shouted "Jose" so loudly just for fun... We were being wu liao lah..
Kor just gave Jose a new nickname.. "Mr Sunshine"... He wore bright yellow lor..
Then after that, gan jie forced me to say "bye" to Nicolas before I could go...
Then sammi also agreed and made me go over to where Nicolas was lor...
Unfair! Then after that, went j8 to have lunch and walk around.
Went comics connection and the 4 of us bought matching crosses... Just different colours..
Then went gaga over the things in gift-a-name.. And as usual, took neoprints.
After that, saw michael and elisha...
That's another long story... Not going 2 bother...
Then first day of cny, not much, just the usual visiting of family members...
Oh ya... couz and her boyfriend and my mum had fun teasing me lor...
Cos i was about 2 follow couz and boyfriend to the boyfriend's relatives hse..
Then couz's boyfriend said something like "I have many male cousins." then mum started making comments and couz promised to see whether got any suitable guys...
Sigh... My mum! believe it or not???
Then watched "Seoul Raiders" at 11:20...
Wah! Very tired after that.. Only slept at 2..
Then today, went visiting... in a pink cheongsam.
Kor, if u read this, dun crinch...
Couz had fun messing with my hair and put eyeshadow for me...
Mum asked me not 2 wear my specs somemore...
Very tiring lah... Everything a bit blurred...
No choice lah. Only once a year. Whew!
Better go now lah. Getting a bit tired...
Monday, February 07, 2005
Should i care?
Thanks so much people...
For making me cry, the one thing that I have tried not to do...
But the pain hurts so much.. I just want all this to end.
But you dun understand the hurt inside of me as I see you doing this to urself...
I have never cried for someone not related me by blood...
But now, the hurt inside me is too much to bear...
Please spare me...
Ya sure, I can ignore all this but I just can't...
When i care for someone, I care for that person with all my heart....
I give up... I shall try 2 stop b4 i say things i regret...
But seriously, this shall be the first and last time I ever care for someone the way I cared for gan jie!
For making me cry, the one thing that I have tried not to do...
But the pain hurts so much.. I just want all this to end.
But you dun understand the hurt inside of me as I see you doing this to urself...
I have never cried for someone not related me by blood...
But now, the hurt inside me is too much to bear...
Please spare me...
Ya sure, I can ignore all this but I just can't...
When i care for someone, I care for that person with all my heart....
I give up... I shall try 2 stop b4 i say things i regret...
But seriously, this shall be the first and last time I ever care for someone the way I cared for gan jie!
Tired of ... everything
~ Each time I am risen up, I am thrown down again.
I thought you were my friend but...
Everyday I am wounded but i just can't show it.
I smile and laugh along with you but...
Inside I protest and just wish you would stop.
You might ask why i dun speak up but...
Once i do, u just turn ur back on me
So what do you expect me 2 do?
Smile at you or just walk away? ~
Each time i stop getting depressed, it's only for a short while.
All those around me, they just make me so tired.
Ya sure, i can lend a listening ear anytime, but who will sit and listen to me?
I'm the friend that everyone turns to for help but who will be my friend?
Even those who call themselves my friends, sure...
They are my friends but they still wound me and leave me all alone to solve my problems.
I know that what they're doing is not the solution but at times... i think of joining them
Maybe one day, I shoud just stop thinking with my heart and just be cold as ice.
Being part of the world yet not existing.
Creating a void in me, removing all emotions then we shall see...
Yet, my conscience prevents me from doing that..
Even when my friends are hurting me, I can't bear to turn away from them...
Is what I am doing hurting or helping them?
I only have so much strength to last.. One day, all strength will leave me..
But will u all regret doing this to me? I don't think so...
You'll just carry on with your lives and throw me aside...
Walking away... Should I? Or should i just end this all?
I thought you were my friend but...
Everyday I am wounded but i just can't show it.
I smile and laugh along with you but...
Inside I protest and just wish you would stop.
You might ask why i dun speak up but...
Once i do, u just turn ur back on me
So what do you expect me 2 do?
Smile at you or just walk away? ~
Each time i stop getting depressed, it's only for a short while.
All those around me, they just make me so tired.
Ya sure, i can lend a listening ear anytime, but who will sit and listen to me?
I'm the friend that everyone turns to for help but who will be my friend?
Even those who call themselves my friends, sure...
They are my friends but they still wound me and leave me all alone to solve my problems.
I know that what they're doing is not the solution but at times... i think of joining them
Maybe one day, I shoud just stop thinking with my heart and just be cold as ice.
Being part of the world yet not existing.
Creating a void in me, removing all emotions then we shall see...
Yet, my conscience prevents me from doing that..
Even when my friends are hurting me, I can't bear to turn away from them...
Is what I am doing hurting or helping them?
I only have so much strength to last.. One day, all strength will leave me..
But will u all regret doing this to me? I don't think so...
You'll just carry on with your lives and throw me aside...
Walking away... Should I? Or should i just end this all?
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Hiya, not much to blog about this few days lah..
Try out my new bowling ball, not very used to it...
Oh ya, I have a new kor, two actually but nvm..
One's elie(is that how u spell) kor kor and hiroshi kor... Yes, I shall admit that hiroshi is my kor, not my di, happy now, hui shi??
Then have 2 rush out b'dae cards somemore..
Bah!
Try out my new bowling ball, not very used to it...
Oh ya, I have a new kor, two actually but nvm..
One's elie(is that how u spell) kor kor and hiroshi kor... Yes, I shall admit that hiroshi is my kor, not my di, happy now, hui shi??
Then have 2 rush out b'dae cards somemore..
Bah!
Monday, January 31, 2005
Me happy for now...
So much happened on sat and sunday but not enough time to blog so here's a summarized version of what happened...
Finally, my piano arrived after 7 years of learning piano...
But not tuned yet so it sounds horrible..
Rushed for cell and had to run to catch the bus but conviently 4got that i strained my thigh muscle so after boarding the bus, my leg started hurting and i only ran 100m!!!
Then cell was quite fun, played a game then started sharing our goals for the year.
Then after that, went 2 manna to buy the hillsong piano score bk that i've been eyeing for 3 weeks.. Finally...
Then was checking out the book... So nice... start obsessing over hillsong...
Then service... I dun noe why, but church is the one place where I seem to cry or at least shed tears very often... And i always feel especially guilty..
But fast foward to sunday!
Went for IMprint meeting and heard about the different sections. Then after that, fill in sign-up form and finally chose illustrations as first choice..
then rushed to grandma's hse 2 help with spring cleaning then went to marina to buy my new bowling ball! Yah! now got reactive one liao.. =)
After that, went back and do some hw and then went auntie's hse for her b'dae celebration then rushed hm 2 clear up somemore hw and only slept at 11...
A rather busy sunday...
That's all lah
i want to go and play the piano liao... bye pples.
Finally, my piano arrived after 7 years of learning piano...
But not tuned yet so it sounds horrible..
Rushed for cell and had to run to catch the bus but conviently 4got that i strained my thigh muscle so after boarding the bus, my leg started hurting and i only ran 100m!!!
Then cell was quite fun, played a game then started sharing our goals for the year.
Then after that, went 2 manna to buy the hillsong piano score bk that i've been eyeing for 3 weeks.. Finally...
Then was checking out the book... So nice... start obsessing over hillsong...
Then service... I dun noe why, but church is the one place where I seem to cry or at least shed tears very often... And i always feel especially guilty..
But fast foward to sunday!
Went for IMprint meeting and heard about the different sections. Then after that, fill in sign-up form and finally chose illustrations as first choice..
then rushed to grandma's hse 2 help with spring cleaning then went to marina to buy my new bowling ball! Yah! now got reactive one liao.. =)
After that, went back and do some hw and then went auntie's hse for her b'dae celebration then rushed hm 2 clear up somemore hw and only slept at 11...
A rather busy sunday...
That's all lah
i want to go and play the piano liao... bye pples.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Just so tired..
Warning: Entry might be depressing...
Ok, thanks to some people who have turned my life upside down and yet, I can't say a thing...
Why do i even bother to consider other's feelings? That's one of my strong points yet one of my weakness...
Today, was already so tired mentally and physically from school, then still got CCA.
I suspect i strained my leg muscle during bowling on tue but still go 4 PE and CCA...
Then just couldn't take the lessons today, especially the last lesson of the day... Was so tired and watching the mainstream people walk past our class didn't help...
They're released half an hour earlier...
Then in bowling, was so inconsistent cos ball too light...
Coach asked me to get 12 pound liao but then problem arises...
Get from where? Friends and coach say different thing so i m stuck in between...
Then when come home, turns out internet server busy so had to release stress by playing "virtual cop 2".
Dun care if the game was lame, it help me cooled down... Quite accurate shooting somemore... 91% accuracy...
Thank goodness internet back on... Hopefully when i wake up tmr, it'll b a brand new day... n i'll feel better...
Ok, thanks to some people who have turned my life upside down and yet, I can't say a thing...
Why do i even bother to consider other's feelings? That's one of my strong points yet one of my weakness...
Today, was already so tired mentally and physically from school, then still got CCA.
I suspect i strained my leg muscle during bowling on tue but still go 4 PE and CCA...
Then just couldn't take the lessons today, especially the last lesson of the day... Was so tired and watching the mainstream people walk past our class didn't help...
They're released half an hour earlier...
Then in bowling, was so inconsistent cos ball too light...
Coach asked me to get 12 pound liao but then problem arises...
Get from where? Friends and coach say different thing so i m stuck in between...
Then when come home, turns out internet server busy so had to release stress by playing "virtual cop 2".
Dun care if the game was lame, it help me cooled down... Quite accurate shooting somemore... 91% accuracy...
Thank goodness internet back on... Hopefully when i wake up tmr, it'll b a brand new day... n i'll feel better...
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Obsession over?
Back to blogging as a break from work.
Monday, went to Jurong Point and then was just window shopping...
Looking at all the things I want but cannot have...
Went to jigsaw puzzle shop to inquire about price of jigsaw puzzle frame cos completed 1000 pcs jigsaw puzzle last year then never frame yet...
Then while waiting for her to call the other shops to see where there was stock, I looked at the jigsaw puzzles in the shop and took so long...
There were my usual favourites: Disney princesses (1000 pcs) and one very nice one of most Disney characters... 2000 pcs!!! Then, those very nice glow-in the dark dolphin jigsaw puzzles and also the cute puppies!
Then afterwards, went to Life bookshop to check whether they have the hillsong piano score book...
Been obsessing over it for few weeks liao... Have to wait til this sat b4 can buy from church bkshop..
Then went to some other shops with also cute things...
Gift-A-Name is so nice lor! So many new things since I last went! Everything seems so cute!!!
I m crazy liao, want to buy so many things!
Oh ya, did I mention that I will have a piano this sat? Finally! After 7 years of using my cousin's piano! A piano that I can call my own...
Can't wait...
And maybe, just maybe, a new bowling ball this sunday...
After all, the coach did ask me to buy one soon so have to check with parents...
Oh ya, have music for my blog liao... Song is "One Way" by Hillsong...
Warning: Music is very loud!!
Gtg now... And update wishlist! lol
Monday, went to Jurong Point and then was just window shopping...
Looking at all the things I want but cannot have...
Went to jigsaw puzzle shop to inquire about price of jigsaw puzzle frame cos completed 1000 pcs jigsaw puzzle last year then never frame yet...
Then while waiting for her to call the other shops to see where there was stock, I looked at the jigsaw puzzles in the shop and took so long...
There were my usual favourites: Disney princesses (1000 pcs) and one very nice one of most Disney characters... 2000 pcs!!! Then, those very nice glow-in the dark dolphin jigsaw puzzles and also the cute puppies!
Then afterwards, went to Life bookshop to check whether they have the hillsong piano score book...
Been obsessing over it for few weeks liao... Have to wait til this sat b4 can buy from church bkshop..
Then went to some other shops with also cute things...
Gift-A-Name is so nice lor! So many new things since I last went! Everything seems so cute!!!
I m crazy liao, want to buy so many things!
Oh ya, did I mention that I will have a piano this sat? Finally! After 7 years of using my cousin's piano! A piano that I can call my own...
Can't wait...
And maybe, just maybe, a new bowling ball this sunday...
After all, the coach did ask me to buy one soon so have to check with parents...
Oh ya, have music for my blog liao... Song is "One Way" by Hillsong...
Warning: Music is very loud!!
Gtg now... And update wishlist! lol
Monday, January 24, 2005
Shao's b'dae
Weekend too busy so never blog..
Fri, went to Shao's hse... lol
Ate pizza and then later started wrecking the kitchen with cornflakes..
Mixed chocolate with cornflakes, raisins, lime and lemon bits... Yummy.. Very sweet.
Played with shao's puppies! So cute!
I want to hug muffin and pet regal...
I miss the dogs...
Oh ya, we helped hui shi overcome her fear of dogs or at least those two.
Then brought the dogs for a walk to the park and then went to shell to buy water for us and the dogs..
However, the dogs not used to drinking from our hands so had to wait til we went back to shao's hse..
When walking back, passed a hse that was not locked and a big dog came out!
Glo started running til shao told her to stop.
Shao was trying so hard to calm the big doggie down.Luckily, we reached shao's hse b4 the dog came after us! Whew!
Then after a while, was the bbq..
We were "force-fed" by kor's family..
Then after eating, go play with the dogs again!!
Finally left at 9:30pm...
So sad...
Then sat, had to miss cell and church cos meeting mum's friends...
Went to Geylang for durian. Had durian for dinner!
Then went to mum's friend's hse and only left at 10!
Severe lack of sleep!
Fri, went to Shao's hse... lol
Ate pizza and then later started wrecking the kitchen with cornflakes..
Mixed chocolate with cornflakes, raisins, lime and lemon bits... Yummy.. Very sweet.
Played with shao's puppies! So cute!
I want to hug muffin and pet regal...
I miss the dogs...
Oh ya, we helped hui shi overcome her fear of dogs or at least those two.
Then brought the dogs for a walk to the park and then went to shell to buy water for us and the dogs..
However, the dogs not used to drinking from our hands so had to wait til we went back to shao's hse..
When walking back, passed a hse that was not locked and a big dog came out!
Glo started running til shao told her to stop.
Shao was trying so hard to calm the big doggie down.Luckily, we reached shao's hse b4 the dog came after us! Whew!
Then after a while, was the bbq..
We were "force-fed" by kor's family..
Then after eating, go play with the dogs again!!
Finally left at 9:30pm...
So sad...
Then sat, had to miss cell and church cos meeting mum's friends...
Went to Geylang for durian. Had durian for dinner!
Then went to mum's friend's hse and only left at 10!
Severe lack of sleep!
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Quizssss
You're like me! The intelligent loner. You're shy
at times but friendly, and you are never weak
and always independent. You are incredibly
intelligent (wise beyond your years) and have a
talent for many things (sports, music, art).
You have a kind and warm personality and enjoy
the simple things. Like hanging out with
friends and watching movies at home. But you're
sometimes quiet nature makes you a bit of an
outcast and a mystery to people. No matter how
pretty you are or smart or athletic, you just
can't seem to break into the crowd and be
noticed. Don't worry, try to be more outgoing
and speak out when you have more to say. Don't
hide behind your books and sports and computer,
get out there and get noticed. You also have
deep desires in life and feel vunerable and
alone at times. Don't feel sad either, What
helps me to express feelings and dreams that I
can't say to people, is through my writting.
Maybe you should try.
What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla
Your Hidden Power Is Water
You have a rather calm soul, but when tempted
will get pissed off at those who bug you. You
do whatever you can in your powers to help
those of your allies and have a okay taste for
human kind, but you find them rather annoying
on occasions.
Gem Stone: Saphire, Eye Color:Ice
Blue,Hair Color:Dark Blue that's long
that goes to your waist.
Quote:If you wait for meThen I'll come for you. Although I've travelled
far, I always hold a place for youIn my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me
once in a while, Then I'll return to you. I'll
return and fill that space in your heart
What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
brought to you by Quizilla
You're like me ^.^ You feel alone sometimes, but
you will survive. Just remember that you got
alot of friends that will help you get trough
when you got problems.Think more positive ^_~
If you don't have friends, you have to be
carefull, depression isn't far away... Plzz
rate
~~Are you a bit Depressed? Are you Happy?~~*With Anime pics*
brought to you by Quizilla
Yeh, got a new piano on tue! So happy but have 2 wait til 29/1 b4 they can deliver...
Guess my mood is quite gd now...
Can't wait 2 go shao's hse tmr and mayb... wreck the kitchen! lol
Kor, relax lar, we'll clean up, or at least i think so!
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Just slacking 4 a while...
Sheesh, just the third week of the year and so many problems...
It's like all my problems snowballed and just hit me at the same time.
Have anyone of you ever feel that you don't fit in?
You long to fit in but you just can't?
Example: In church, i only have those few friends that I can talk to and sometimes when i'm with them, it still seems like i dun exist. I dun noe. Maybe it's just me but still I feel that although i'm more comfortable in church now compared to last time, I still feel that I dun belong completely.
There is this clique?
Btw, if any1 from church reads this and feels bothered, sorry. It's not intentional but this are what I feel at times..
I guess rite now, I'm trying to find out who I really am. Not just being someone else just to fit in and make friends. I dun noe, this mite seem vague but i feel like i've lost my identity.
Compared now to the times when we were younger, then all our problems seem so trivial. but life was still so peaceful and happy, this pure happiness...
Now, my life is still filled with happiness but of a different kind...
Ok, what I've been saying doesn't make sense, rite? sigh...
It's like all my problems snowballed and just hit me at the same time.
Have anyone of you ever feel that you don't fit in?
You long to fit in but you just can't?
Example: In church, i only have those few friends that I can talk to and sometimes when i'm with them, it still seems like i dun exist. I dun noe. Maybe it's just me but still I feel that although i'm more comfortable in church now compared to last time, I still feel that I dun belong completely.
There is this clique?
Btw, if any1 from church reads this and feels bothered, sorry. It's not intentional but this are what I feel at times..
I guess rite now, I'm trying to find out who I really am. Not just being someone else just to fit in and make friends. I dun noe, this mite seem vague but i feel like i've lost my identity.
Compared now to the times when we were younger, then all our problems seem so trivial. but life was still so peaceful and happy, this pure happiness...
Now, my life is still filled with happiness but of a different kind...
Ok, what I've been saying doesn't make sense, rite? sigh...
Monday, January 17, 2005
Me against the world???
Been a week since i last updated. Sorri to anyone who does read my blog, though i doubt so...
Just these three days, so many ups and downs. Mum was upset with me over something then lasted in cold treatment and was only resolved the next day.
Then today, Glo had to ask whether I wanted to go 2 NUS school of math and science...
She very persuasive, (not that I blame u, glo) but now thinking about it.
Thinking= haven't made up mind, k?
Sigh. I just wish that for once my life could just be peaceful without any worries...
Oh ya, just want to find out, what is ur reaction when someone says u're guai?
How do you feel? Cos it's like when pple say I'm guai, i kind of resent it til i realize that guai is actually a positive term but then the meaning has changed.
I mean, is it wrong to be guai??
Sometimes, I just find it so hard to keep my convenant with God and yet live in this world. It's just so hard to not conform to the world. There are times where i wished that I could just give in but no... I have to perserve!
Hey, could u all just tag whether u think i shud go NUS school of math and science? Pls...
I dun care what people will say,
I'm running after you.
I won't turn back and go their way,
I'm running after you.
No matter what may come my way,
I'm running after you.
It's you I'm following today,
I'm running after you.
Just these three days, so many ups and downs. Mum was upset with me over something then lasted in cold treatment and was only resolved the next day.
Then today, Glo had to ask whether I wanted to go 2 NUS school of math and science...
She very persuasive, (not that I blame u, glo) but now thinking about it.
Thinking= haven't made up mind, k?
Sigh. I just wish that for once my life could just be peaceful without any worries...
Oh ya, just want to find out, what is ur reaction when someone says u're guai?
How do you feel? Cos it's like when pple say I'm guai, i kind of resent it til i realize that guai is actually a positive term but then the meaning has changed.
I mean, is it wrong to be guai??
Sometimes, I just find it so hard to keep my convenant with God and yet live in this world. It's just so hard to not conform to the world. There are times where i wished that I could just give in but no... I have to perserve!
Hey, could u all just tag whether u think i shud go NUS school of math and science? Pls...
I dun care what people will say,
I'm running after you.
I won't turn back and go their way,
I'm running after you.
No matter what may come my way,
I'm running after you.
It's you I'm following today,
I'm running after you.
Monday, January 10, 2005
Just rattling on...
One week of school already...
Overslept today... *sniffs* Started panicking until I reached school on time.
Aiyah, tomorrow still got bowling.
Although I enjoyed bowling, I will be so tired tomorrow lor. Bowling at Marina South!!!
It'll take at least 1 hr to reach home so have to cram homework now.
Overslept today... *sniffs* Started panicking until I reached school on time.
Aiyah, tomorrow still got bowling.
Although I enjoyed bowling, I will be so tired tomorrow lor. Bowling at Marina South!!!
It'll take at least 1 hr to reach home so have to cram homework now.
Monday, January 03, 2005
New Year, new class, new bloggie...
Finally made all the changes 2 my blogskin after an irritating half an hour of com going crazy on me, as usual...
Today, first day of school, so many changes!
Different class... *sniffs* No longer with gan jie and kor and debbie...
Then after sitting arrangement was decided, turns out i m sitting in the front of the class... First row! So sad... Not used to it cos last year, always sit at the back.
But at least glo was in the same class.
Now have 2 recesses and also released half an hour later.
But most of the teachers still the same... *sniff sniff*
This year, very few GEP juniors, guess most of them went RGS.
Very tired now even though today was very slack... So got to go soon. Shall try to blog more regularly from now onwards...
Today, first day of school, so many changes!
Different class... *sniffs* No longer with gan jie and kor and debbie...
Then after sitting arrangement was decided, turns out i m sitting in the front of the class... First row! So sad... Not used to it cos last year, always sit at the back.
But at least glo was in the same class.
Now have 2 recesses and also released half an hour later.
But most of the teachers still the same... *sniff sniff*
This year, very few GEP juniors, guess most of them went RGS.
Very tired now even though today was very slack... So got to go soon. Shall try to blog more regularly from now onwards...
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