malaysia... once more.

Hiya. Back from a 3 day trip to Malaysia once again... Wasn't really expecting that much from the trip but as usual, kind of proven wrong.

16th Jun, Friday
Early wake-up call. -cringe- 4+ am? Left the house, met with relatives at their house, drove up to Genting with one break in between. Lunch. Walked around. Took a few rides. Rofl. Laadeedaa. Erm.. Sat on the merry-go-round with my bro and cousins? Haha. Got chased off the nice horse by the guy in charge. -sniffs- Ohh. Candy floss! Haha. The sad thing was there wasn't time for the outdoor theme park so was confined indoors. It was raining! Nice weather... Uncle asked if I wanted to walk around -in the rain-... Heehee. I wanted to but oh well... I think I'll get dragged back indoors? Drove to the hotel to check in. Had a rather late dinner before heading back to the hotel room to sleep. Ohh. Did I mention that my mum was nice enough to let me bring doggie along? Hmm. Not big doggie but the medium size one. -hugs- Yeps. Had to sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag but I'm used to it already so it wasn't that bad?

17th Jun, Saturday
Woke up at 7 plus, went down for breakfast... Oh yes, interesting name of the cafe. The hotel I stayed in was Hotel Nova and erm... the cafe was like Casanova cafe? Yeps. After breakfast, get ready to go Sunway Lagoon. Whee! Ok... Let me first state that it was my first time to Sunway Lagoon so erm... Excessive hyperness? Haha. Went there and was waiting for my uncle at the lift lobby and erm... saw this whole group of guys streaming out of the lift. Let's see. When some of them were wearing t-shirts with their school name or house name on it, it gets really obvious which school they're from. Yes, it's a school in Singapore. Which one? Go guess... Anyway, my mum had fun teasing me so ya... Good thing they walked away soon after. (Haiz. If only that was the last time I saw them...) Uhhuh. Went to sunway lagoon. -feels accomplished- Haha. Helped my dad to get the tickets before hand so didn't have to queue up. Some people shouldn't all crowd together and block the way... Laadeedaa. Let's see. Was getting hyper over the rides.. Couldn't wait to start trying out the rides but had to play with my brother and cousins first. Yayness... Ok. There's this really nice ride that I like. Dragged my mum along to try it at first. It's the one where you slide head-first down on a mat. I can't really describe it but it's fun cause there's water involved! Yeps. Won my mum. =) Then she convinced my dad to try... Let's see. Pft. I lost to my dad... Like he reached the bottom before me and he went further too. So I was like "whining" and "sulking" away as I walked away from the ride. Childish, I know. But it was fun. Played the ride twice more. Lost both times to my dad again. Haiz. 3-0. Oh yes, it's really interesting to see how people get addicted to the ride. I couldn't really see faces clearly cause I took off my specs so I recognize strangers by their clothes? Haha. To be really specific, their berms/shorts/etc... (It's a water theme park. What do you expect?) Oh well. Like... "Doesn't that pair of black bermudas look familiar?" Was highly amused myself. Rest of the rides are ok... The Python failed to meet expectations. Not thrilling enough. The other ride was ok... Hmm. It started raining so had to head to shelter. But since the rain didn't seem to stop, we decided to just rush to the shopping mall. Had late lunch. KFC. Walked around with my mum. I declare that she likes to tease me. Example: "I think I just saw some -insert name of school- guys walking around?" Like huh?! Ohh. Went to this shop with relatively nice bags... And finally bought one! Whee! -jumps up and down- Finally have a new school bag. I've been really picky... Oh well. But yes, no more sling-bag to school. -sniffs- Oh well, never mind. I like my new bag! Anyway, went to this comic shop and there was this offer on chinese books so erm... bought 4 novels? Yes, they're all in Chinese. Had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. But yes, couldn't resist. Went back to the hotel, bathe, eat dinner. Mum wanted to walk around but since everyone else was tired, only we went. We wanted to go to this specific street but wasn't too sure how to get there. Reached there anyway. 20 minutes of walking. Not bad. Browsed around. Nothing much... Wanted to buy gifts for kor and mei but nothing suitable. So sorry. Walked back to the hotel. Bought supper! -slurps- Ramly burger... Ate in the hotel room. Went to sleep...

18th Jun, Sunday
Woke up really grumpy and grounchy. Left eyelid was slightly swollen + severe lack of sleep. (Didn't sleep well the last night. Woke up a few times...) Skipped breakfast. Got woke up again. Checked out of the hotel. Drove to Malacca for lunch. Yay! Nyonya chendol. Sweetness. =) Yes, I have a sweet tooth. Drove back home, etc, etc... Oh yes. Was playing a game with my mum to keep us awake during the drive back home. A-Z list of guys' name... Haha. Amusement. Yeps. Pft. Some letters really hard to come up with names. Shall leave it at that. Yeps. Shall go to bed soon. Miss my bed and big doggie. -hugs-

sleepless night

This entry will probably be really confusing and the content would be highly disorganized and all over the place, so sorry in advance. Here goes...

Couldn't sleep at all last night so became really restless. (Can't believe that I can blog about not being able to sleep...) Oh well. Anyway, went to bed at around 11:20 with my mp3 player on (as usual...) and just listened to the few new songs in the player. At 11:40, realized that I was not going to doze off that soon so sent out 1 sms. Hmm. No response so I ended up amusing myself by trying to write in my diary in the dark. Sat on my nice chair and was trying to write properly and all. But since the only light source was from the lights in the corridor outside which shone through my window, it wasn't that effective. Anyway, made a list of things that I wanted to blog about...

This list came about when I was being restless and my mind started drifting and thinking about various things... Topics ranging from the realization that this blog hasn't seen a moody/angsty entry in quite some time and the reason behind that to like things that I want to get, etc... Oh well. Let's see if I can remember all 6 things that I wanted to blog about.
1) The lack of moody/angsty entries in this blog (filtering?) and the reason behind it
2) Family?
3) Things that I want to get
4-6) I rather not put it down into words for you all to read?

Shall blog a bit on the things I thought about last night before resuming the recount on the 2+ hours before I finally settled down enough to sleep. Hmm... I've realized that many a times, I just blog about interesting events in my day and all. After reading through all my blog entries yesterday, it's really interesting to see the change in mood and content of the entries. Last year was really too much angst and moodiness. This year, I'm glad it's a lot more light-hearted and all but I've realized that's only cause I think I'm filtering a lot of stuff. I either blog about the issues in really vague terms or I just avoid it totally. Normally, I would turn to my MSN space or even my private blog about issues and all but I think I've been avoiding the problem/s and all. Last night/this morning was really just me being super restless and thinking quite a bit about stuff. Ohh, this might sound weird but I just feel like blogging honestly without any filtering so ya... Just lying on my bed and listening to my mp3 player somehow triggered off something in me. I wanted to cry. I almost did too, I think. But ya... That was just weird. Haiz.

Oh yes, I shall try to find a nice blogskin and edit my profile/wishlst. But that might take a while. Considering how picky I am when it comes to blogskins. -shrugs-

Ok... Anyway, back to my recount of how I was restless and couldn't sleep. Ended up doing sit-ups and stretching exercises on my bed. Yeps. Was that bored. I wanted to write/blog at that moment but couldn't since it'll wake my parents up so resorted to doing those activities. Then still couldn't sleep. By then, should have been close to 1. Sent yet another sms. Hmm. Decided to like sleep upside-down. As in just reverse direction. Placed my pillow on the other end of the bed. Oh well, proves that I'm weird. The things I do when I can't sleep. After listening to more songs on my player and thinking of random stuff, smsed a bit and finally went to sleep. Whew. That was irritating, ok? Like from 11:20pm - 2am, wanting to sleep but just couldn't. Haiz?! Ok... -pinch myself- I'm not dreaming. I just blogged another entry on how I couldn't sleep and the things I did. And it hasn't been that long since I had a similar entry. Oh well. Pft.

Shall go and watch my nice nice show and gush/swoon/squeal over the characters? Haha. Doubt so but never mind. Just remembered that I still haven't packed my bag for the trip. Fyi, for those who don't know, I'll be going Malaysia from tomorrow morning til like Sunday night. Sighs. Not bringing my handphone so won't b able to contact me. Yeps. Haiz... I'm feeling rather sleepy now. Hmm. Maybe shouldn't watch my show and just play the piano or something? Let's see... Decide later. Time to end the blog entry. Bye! Will miss you all when I'm in malaysia. =)

Going out...

Hmm. As usual, I'll just be blogging about the previous days, including today. I think I'll not bother blogging about the weekend much since it was rather normal other than erm... getting roped in by my relatives to play mahjong. Yeps. Then sunday, usual. Too bad it was raining so couldn't swim.

Yesterday, went to watch "She's the man" with Renee and Mel at Cineleisure. Then went heeren before meeting Isaac at City Hall. Lunch, walking around Suntec, going to J8, just sitting down there and stoning + a bit of chatting... Ohh... Yayness! More or less figured out what I'm going to get at Jigsaw Puzzle World (finally...). Anyway, since my mum kind of agree to let me spend $200 there, it was kind of hard to decide what to get and all but yeps. Eye-ing one of those puzzles with a rather mystical feel. Bonus: there's a dolphin in the picture of that puzzle. The sad thing is too much of the money would be spent on frames for the various puzzles that I have... Oh well.

Hmm. Today. Had to run some errands at Raffles Place. Met kor for lunch. Then after that, went Jurong library and tried to find nice books. Couldn't really find anything nice to read. Came home, read a while then talked to mei on the phone. Dinner. Mum got a bit upset at me over a certain issue so things were rather tense. Was trying to calm myself down and relax by playing songs on the piano. Yay! Now have the piano score for "At the beginning". Thanks kor. =) Hmm... Anyway, I realized playing the piano has become a form of relaxation and at times, a way to let out my frustrations and just release my emotions.

~ Things have changed in unexpected ways ~
~ Why is it we never see things til they're right in front of our eyes?~
(Lol. Reminds me of how things were before lunch... Mos burger. Lol. But not only that...)

simple things that make me smile

~Why does everything seem to remind me of the same things over and over again?~

Went to shao's house yesterday to just laze around. Played with the dogs as usual, watched Saw 2, went to her room and helped her with her jigsaw puzzle and used the computer for a while. Hmm... I did become a bit reflective at certain points in time. Don't really feel like blogging much about it right now but maybe later on in this entry. After that, went to watch "Cars" with my mum and Jonathan. Didn't really expect much from the show at first but as usual, I'm proven wrong... Though it's cliched and all, it reminded me of some things. And after that, I went a bit hyper. Was saying "Ka-ching" a lot... =)

Yesterday was just lazing at home the whole day. Bought a new chinese series a few days ago so was just watching it "marathon-style". 3-4 discs non-stop. And was really freaking myself out too. For those who've seen me hyper, imagine me more hyper by many more levels. I was erm... making random noises, criticizing the characters (as usual), venting out my frustration on whatever was nearby. Heehee... Basically, really crazy and hyper. And erm, add gushing/swooning/squealing over the characters to the picture. Oops? Haha. Me swooning and squealing is really scary. Trust me. I should know. But ya... Whee! Qing Tian and Tian Xie! Haha... Those are the names of the 2 main characters. Poor Renee. Had to put up with me for a while over the phone. Thanks. =)

Ok. I'll blog about some of the things that I thought about at shao's house. Interesting how Saw 2 can make me think of certain things. Do we only value things/people more when we know that we're about to lose them? Oh. And in her room, helping her with the jigsaw puzzle, I really enjoy such times. Simplicity. Oh well. Anyway, "Cars" also reminded me of the same thing over and over again. Sighs. I'm not really going to spell out what I was reminded of but yes... The first line in my entry sums it out, I guess.

~learning to enjoy the simple things in life...~

More "scandalous" incidents...

Laadeedaa. Finally blogging about last week and stuff. Whee! Friday! =) Went out with hui shi, zheng xuan, adwyn and bryan. McDonalds' hotcakes are nice! -slurps- bryan is evil... he was tempting me with that pack of pure sugar. Pft. Me didn't want to go all hyper so ya... Watched poseidon again then after that, walked around a bit, met up with isaac. Pool! =) Then met up with hui shi, they all again. Neoprints. -gushes- the dolphins at Action City are so adorable!
-squeals- I want! Haha. Nah. Just kidding. Have a dolphin at home already but those are just a lot more huggable. -hugs- Ok... I think I'm getting a bit high. Lcell. Back home. -whew- Was worried about mum scolding me for watching poseidon again but well, she didn't say much.

Saturday! Renee came to church! -jumps- Whee! Finally... Anyway, she finally had a chance to meet Mel. Pft. I was bullied again. I want to watch Sky High! Pft... Anyway, the whole day was fun cause Renee came to church! =) (now i think i know why you pple think I'm les... rofl.) Anyway, went for dinner with Renee at Mad Jack. The food's ok... Oh ya, Island Creamery! -slurps- Ice Cream! Ok... I think I'm getting addicted to the ice cream. Too bad Renee had to leave at 8 plus so for the first time in a long while, I actually reached home before 10 on Saturday.

Skip Sunday and Monday. Not that much to blog about really... Ohh... The fun part. Today! Elmi Jie Jie's ROM! =) Anyway, let's do a chronological recap of the day. Woke up at 12. -smiles- Finally slept in for once during the holidays. Lazed around the house before going over to auntie's house with all the clothes and all. Lazed around til 3 before changing and all. Pft. Why is it so fun to doll me up? My mum and auntie seem to enjoy experimenting on me. Make-up, hair, etc... Whew. Good thing elmi jie jie steps in at times.Went to Hark Music Cafe... It's basically a cafe so ya. Might seem weird to hold the ROM there but it suits my cousin since she's musically-inclined and all. The whole thing was quite ok. =) Finally see elmi jie jie getting married! Hmm.. Still have the wedding dinner at the end of the year though. Haha. I'll be more busy then. Btw, new word: flower-maid. It's combination of flower-girl and bridesmaid. Lol. Ya... Hmm. That's about it for now. Feeling a bit sleepy... My sleep hours are upside-down again.

Holidays

Yayness! It's the start of the holidays... Anyway, there are quite a lot of things that I want to blog about and it feels weird to blog about everything in one entry since the mood of each topic is really different. Let's start off with the first two days of the holidays. First two days referring to Monday and Tuesday. Had to wake up early for Parent-Teacher meeting. -cringe?- Ok... It wasn't as bad as what I expected. CAP of 3.75... Sighs. To be really honest, I guess I'm aiming for a CAP of 4 next semester. It means I'll have to work a lot harder and all. We shall see... But ya, there are a few subjects I'm happy about and others that I feel need improvement. After PTM was some chinese lesson to help prepare for O-levels. But we ended up just chatting away about our marks and all... After that, went with Renee, Vanessa and Tian Cheng to JE entertainment for lunch. Lunch was amusing and we ended up just sitting at the foodcourt and talking for quite a while even after we finished our food and dessert. =) Then someone had to mention something about neoprints so off we went to take neoprints. Yayness! It was funny! Anyway, we went around walking and erm... I got a bit high on Lychee Ice? So haha... Then Renee and Tian Cheng both tried a bit of the drink and let's just say Lychee Ice blended is probably the most effective drink if you want to get high? Lol. Yeps. Took the bus home and was freaking Renee out. Too bad I had to stop before them.

Tuesday. SMO. Urk. The only time I really enjoyed taking part in SMO was like in Primary 6. Miss Advance Math... Even if I was like the only girl and had to put up with erm... competitive guys? Haha. But ya... Mrs Idil really helped a lot. The preparation for the competitions and all? Ok. Back to the present. After SMO, went back home to pick up cash before going to Orchard with Aaron, Renee and Tian Cheng. Went Plaza Sing for lunch. Whee! Pizza Hut. As usual, lots of laughter? Then we talked to Wheelock Place. Though I think we shouldn't have. -cough- Some people should take more care of themself... But anyway, wandered around Borders. Went a bit high over stationery in there and was let down when I found out that they used to have Bambi 2 soundtrack in Borders but now, out of stock.. Pft. Anyway, went to Takashimaya. Kinokuniya! Whee! More stationery... Anyway, in case you're wondering, I was supposed to help buy stationery for my mum so that's why I'm kind of being crazy? Then brought Renee to Art Friends. Whee! That place is nice! And we found 0.05 black pens? Like... Cool. Because it's really, really thin... But didn't buy. Then went to Orange Julius and just sit there and relax. Then Tian Cheng met us again and we all finally went to the MRT station. Lol. It's good that Renee can still get freaked out... But no longer because of me. Now, kor can take over the job? Heehee... Laadeedaa...

Ok. Time for something erm... less happy? Ok... Got a bit worked-up/emotional/moody yesterday... But the only thing that I'm happy about was that it ended in 15 minutes or so. But ya... Guess it was just a natural reflex to seeing things like that in black and white. I don't know if I'm disappointed with you and your opinions but there are just so many things that I feel like responding to but I shall refrain from doing so. Sighs. I want to blog more about this but it's hard. Anyway, one last point to make. You contradict yourself a lot, do you realize?

Oh yes... To those "evil" people who take delight in "torturing" me, I'm "pleased" to let you know that my brother is kind of taking over all your jobs. And like erm... To get me out of bed, he started tickling me all over, non-stop for like 10 minutes? So ya... Reminds me so much of each of you all. Pft. Laadeedaa. I think I shall have to meet up with you all a lot during the holidays, if not I'll miss you all too much. Haha.

Siblings

Tagged by Renee so here goes...

Three Names You Go By: chermaine, chermy, cherm? (Right...)
Three Parts of Your Heritage: Chinese, Thai (?), Teochew
Three Things That Scare You: losing loved ones, anger, moodswings
Three of Your Everyday Essentials: food, friends, laughter
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: shirt, berms, specs
Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists at the moment: Corinne May, don't really have any particular one..
Three of Your Favorite Songs at the moment: Rescue, There is life, At the beginning
Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than love): trust, mutual understanding, tolerance
Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You: smile, height, dunno
Three of Your Favourite Hobbies: Talking on the phone, reading, using the computer
Three Things You want really badly right now: darling the TY dog, new school bag, Jonathan to recover
Three Places You Want to go on Vacation: Australia, New Zealand, Switzerland
Three things you want to do before you die: Live in the countryside, have a dog as a pet, go diving!
Three people I would like to see take this quiz: sammi, hui shi, gloria

I want to do a detailed blog entry on my various "siblings"! Whee!
List of siblings (chronological order):
Hui Shi (gan jie) - Hmm. Out of all my "siblings", she's the one who influenced me the most and all and also probably the one who I'm closest to? Ya. As I wrote so many times in various places, so many things remind me of her. Haha. KFC for starters... And notebooks! Knew her since the start of Secondary 1 and now I'm in Secondary 3, hopefully, this friendship will be one that lasts. The jie-mei bond isn't that easily destroyed as various experiences have shown. After all, I've been through the most downs when it comes to her but the bond's just there... Mutual understanding?

Shao Wen (kor) - Shao... Getting bullied. =) But ya, even though I wasn't that close to you and all in nanyang, I remember that one time when you had to endure my moodiness over the phone. Sorry if that ever freaked you or disturbed you... But thanks. Anyway, miss you as much as I miss the other 2. Even the ruffling up of hair and all. And the small things such as you saying "laugh" continuously and that causing me to just laugh non-stop. Your protection of your previous anime and manga... I miss all that, kor... -hugs-

Joseph (kor) - I knew jose kor longer compared to my other siblings but he only became my kor in like Sec 1. Hmm. Primary school classmate. Was rather close to you in primary school. Talking on the phone so much that our parents started complaining. Yeps. Hmm.. But ya, you were always there to make me laugh and all. Thanks. Recently, been talking to you a lot less. I guess we're both caught up with our own stuff and all but never mind.. Thanks anyway.

Renee (mei) - Haha. Mei who bullies jie... and vice versa. Oops? Firstly, you're like the nicest of all my "siblings"? Haha.. Actually, everyone's nice but you just keep the teasing to a minimum. Besides, if you tease me, you get teased by me so ya. Anyway, one of the few who has to put with a hyper me very often. Aww. You're getting too used to me being hyper. Shall learn from kor (as in Tian Cheng)... =) Anyway, surprising how we were in the same class last year and I barely talked to you and this year, we're like always together. Haha.

Aaron (didi) - Hmm. Didi's like 6 days younger... Aww. Too bad. Anyway, he's nice to bully actually. Haha. But ya, he's nice and helps wash blob blob. In fact, he's the one who got me started on washing blob blob with soap. Oh ya, I miss the drum sticks! Playing with it is fun! And ya, didi studies harder than me. Don't get too upset over marks and all, ok? Your effort will pay off eventually.

Tian Cheng (kor) - Ohh! This is the most interesting "sibling" to blog about... And considering that I really only started talking to him last thursday? Firstly, I dare say I've influenced this kor to become more hyper and crazy? And stop thanking me. This kor is really crazy. Yeps. Doesn't really take care of himself. Tsk. Ohh. Yay! Kor is nice cause he helps me and doesn't torment me and also helps freak mei out. Haha. Rofl. Anyway, kor's probably boarding the airplane now... Hopes he takes more care of himself. Lychee Ice Blended! In fact, sugar high! Whee... Yeps. That's all for now.

Scandalous day? Nah...

Whee! Captain's ball is fun! I guess I enjoyed Games Day. If I wasn't playing captain's ball, I was probably talking and laughing away. I'll just blog about friday. One official game of captain's ball then after that, played a few rounds of friendly games with various people. Now it's clear why the guys were not allowed to play captain's ball. Haha. The 2 on 4 match was still tipped in the guys' favour. That tells you something, doesn't it? Oh ya, captain's ball brings back memories from the end of Sec 1 and Sec 2... Ok, time to stop thinking about the past, not when I'm blogging anyway.
After games day on friday, went out! Yayness! Haha. Anyway, a lot of unexpected things in the whole day that provide many memories that I want to keep. Yep. Ok... Time to stop being so vague. And just to check, who actually reads my blog and not just visit my tagboard? I'll like to know actually... Back to yesterday. Walked around Cineleisure and Takashimaya before having lunch. Watched X-Men3! Whee! Then neoprints. Yay! Finally another set of neoprints with sammi. I have to take more with her... Yeps. The day didn't end there but I'll stop blogging now. Haha. And yay, I got the 7th Pendragon book from Sammi! =) Thanks sammi, love you lots. (Now people, don't get jealous. Rofl...)

Journey into life

Whee! Journey into life... Get a job... Erm. Superstar?! $60000... Then pay increases... Various ups and downs in life. Gaining and losing. Have twins... Unexpected events. Retire in peace?

Haha... Laadeedaa. Did that make sense? Well, that happened to me. Haha. At Renee's house right now. Just played "Life" so ya... That's why. If you think I was referring to real life, how sad... Anyway, been at Renee's house since after school. We were just lazing around her house, using the computer, doing sudoku (!) then watched Robots while eating lunch. Pizza! Yum. =) Went back to using the computer and I was just lying on the sofa bed in the room. It is really comfortable! Haha. Then played "Life" and now I'm typing this. That's all now. Laadeedaa. This is amusing. Anyway, before lunch, I was super high and being really crazy and hyper. Example: "shushing" myself and telling myself to stop talking nonsense. Isn't that proof enough? Yay. Hmm. I think I need to go off soon so ya... -sniffs- That's all for now.

Outing - mixing of various grps...

-cough- I think everyone's coughing too much and I'm kind of affected by them? Haha. People like Renee and Hui Shi?

Anyway, got back Biology and Chemistry today. Pleased with Biology paper 2. Higher than expected. Chemistry was ... not a surprise. But it's low. Not satisfied but I already knew what kind of results I would have after I completed the paper. Ended school early and went home.

Went j8 for late lunch. Swensens! =) But didn't eat the fries there for once and didn't eat ice cream either... Rare. Oh well. Was full anyway. Stoned at the busstop to wait for gan jie, glo and shao. Erm. Ya. Then bryan and his friend, joel met us later. Joel remembers me from MEW? It was like last year. I vaguely remember him so ya... Oh well. KFC aka torture session. Laadeedaa. I really should keep my handphone with me all the time. Yeps. It's worse when some person is just sitting there and laughing away. Hmph. Joel left. Then neoprints. Rofl... Trying to convince guys to take neoprints has never been easy. And shao was also a bit reluctant to take... cos of her attire. Sighs. The uniform's bad but not that bad... Erm. The first few shots were just wasted but it got better. I knew I should have looked through the decorations of each neoprints. Hui shi... Sighs. Only noticed a certain decoration after they pointed it out to me. Then went walking around randomly before going home. Yeps. That's about it. As you can probably tell by now, I'm "cutting" out stuff and omitting certain details. Oops?

got tagged...

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this "game" and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the SECOND time, there's no need to go this again.
5. The most important thing: HAVE FUN DOING IT! (:

1. Nice to me (and others.)
Open
Intelligent
Non-egoistic (that crosses out every single guy in this world, doesn't it? lol.)
Honest
Able to tolerate me
Sensitive
Athletic

2. Guy (duh!)

3. 8 pple... Erm. Haha. Those pple who's contributing to my very active tagboard. Hui Shi, Gloria, Shao, Isaac, Bryan, Joseph, Sammi and Aaron (even though he hardly visits.)

5. Fun? Erm... It was rather easy. Considering that -cough- I did a list like that in my notebook before. Laadeedaa. Renee and Sylvie, remember? Haha... Disclaimer: I was highly bored and needed to fill up my notebook.

Long break

Didn't need to attend school from last wednesday to friday and plus the weekend, it was a relaxed 5 day break?
Wednesday:
Went to Jurong Point with cousin and aunt to watch poseidon. Actually nothing much happened on that day.

Thursday:
Renee came over to my house! =) Yeps. Yayness! She helped me complete a 950 pc Disney jigsaw puzzle... Haha. Ah... The silly things that we said that totally doesn't make sense. We were extremely hyper and refused to go for lunch til we completed the puzzle so we only had lunch at 3 plus? Fyi, we finished the puzzle in 4 hours. Quite good? Erm. Wanted to watch "Ice Princess" but she had to go so we used the computer. -cough- Apparently, I have a sister. Laadeedaa... Haha.

Friday:
Went to Cineleisure Orchard with Renee and Ding to watch MI:3... Yeps. Before that, had lunch and was walking around. Ohh... I like the chairs in Cineleisure! Whee! Haha. The cinemas on level 9 have some really nice chairs... Very comfortable.
-cough- Yeps. Renee and I didn't realize that we could put the arm-rest down til the end of the show so ya... Laadeedaa. Then went to take neoprints! Whee! I'm getting ego! The neoprints are nice! =) Went home, rest for an hour then went to Serene to meet Mel and Sis Jas. Yeps. Dinner followed by Lcell. Yeps.

Saturday:
The normal... Service. Had to skip FUEL though to celebrate cousin's birthday. Dinner, went to Raffles Marina. It's really quite peaceful to look at the ships that were docked there. And I realized I could remember the last time I was there even though it's been more than 5 years, I think... Oh. Haha. Cousin managed to persuade my mum to let me learn how to play mahjong. So was sitting there watching my relatives play while my cousin taught me the basics. Yeps.

Sunday:
Nothing much so I'll just fast foward. And looks like swimming is becoming part of a routine... Every Sunday. While Jonathan has proper lessons, I just swim a bit in the pool. Yeps.

Today:
Extremely hyper! Ask Renee and Sylvie. I was like a few level more hyper than normal which is kind of scary... Considering how much sleep I had. Considering that the past 5 days, I slept only at 1 or so? Got back a few exam papers today. Sadly, I was proven right that you shouldn't aim high. The higher you aim, when you fall, it hurts more. Matrices. Was expecting higher. Anyway, marks are rather balanced. English was acceptable. Math was lower than expected but Higher Chinese made up for it by being slightly better than expected. So ya... Haha. After school, went to IMM to see my cousin's wedding photo shoot. She looks pretty! Especially that last evening gown. And pity her. Had to pose so many times and the flash is really glaring. Oh well. It's once in a lifetime thing.

Hyperness

Yay! Exams are over! For me, at least. To all the literature people, jia you! But then again, most of you don't read my blog..
Okie. Let's see, I've been extremely hyper and happy since I handed up the bio paper to Mr Andrew. Was getting restless in my seat while waiting to be dismissed. Came out of the hall with a large smile plastered on my face and I think Renee was being highly amused (yet again...) by me. Anyway, Renee's mum was nice enough to give me a lift to HPPS so I reached there earlier than expected. =)

Ok... Time to blog extensively about the time I spent there? Haha. Was asked about life in NUS High and considering it's a mixed school, the teachers had to make some comments. But I enjoyed chatting with the teachers and was helping Mrs Idil with some files. Quite relaxing to do such simple stuff... Laadeedaa. Then talked to Ms Tai and complained about Chinese in Chinese... Blushed quite a bit. Haha. Somehow, I can't figure out why I seem ego in front of people but when compliments are given (as in genuine ones), I don't really think it's accurate. Yeps. Then from 12 - 12:30, the teachers all had lessons so I was walking around the school and talking on the phone with sammi. Thanks sammi. =) Then continued talking with Mrs Idil and got a free cup of watermelon juice. -slurps- After that, talked to Ms Ng. Ahh. How much I miss talking to the teachers. The topics can range from the past to the present to the future... Yeps. The usual advice from teachers and all. Got chased off at around 2pm cause Ms Ng had to mark compositions. Oh well. Just in time to rush off for piano. Anyway, realized that I spent 3 hrs at HPPS. Not bad...

Piano lesson. Ah. I knew changing teacher was a good idea. =) Anyway, my teacher was understanding about the lack of practice. Whew... Oh ya. Got a task from my teacher to figure out the melody of a Jay Chou song. I feel accomplished! Figured out the song by playing around on the piano and listening to the song countless times... Yay! Shall try that for other songs as well. Maybe tomorrow? Whee! Hyperness. Anyway, here's my programme for the next few days... Go out with auntie and cousin aka piano teacher tomorrow. Thursday, slack at home and Renee's coming over. Yay! Haha. Friday's free for now... The nice thing about marking days... =) That's all for now. Whee! Laadeedaa.

Sleepless night

Ack. My thoughts are all over. Before I start blogging, I'll be really random and blog a recount of last night from 10:15 til the time I fell asleep. Considering that Renee got pretty tickled and amused by it... Laadeedaa. Erm. Got chased to bed by mum so couldn't finish reading the book Mel lent me. Laid down on my bed with my MP3 player on and just tossed and turned for about 30 minutes thinking about everything under the sun. Ok, not really but was thinking about a lot of things. I'll blog about some of them later. Couldn't sleep so sent a few random messages. Turned off my MP3 player. Tossed and turned for about 20 minutes more while trying to fall asleep using various methods like counting sheeps (which didn't work...) and then start thinking of songs in my head (which brought back too much memories but worked...) and eventually fell asleep. Let's see... I can even tell how soon I dozed off cause I don't remember finishing the lyrics of "I lay my love on you"... Laadeedaa. Isn't it nice how I can blog one paragraph on something so trivial? Haha. Anyway, finally fell asleep slightly before 11:30. Pft. I was supposed to be asleep by 10:30... Bah. Overslept this morning.

Anyway, back to the main reason for blogging. Hopefully, blogging helps me get my thoughts in line and so I can doze off faster tonight... By the way, most of what I was thinking all involved relationships and all but with the various groups of people in my life. Firstly, parents. Erm. For some reason, I didn't get my mum anything for Mother's Day this year. It's like unthinkable, I know but still, don't know what got into me and all. Ya, go ahead and start "tsk-ing" me. But I'm still trying to figure out why I didn't get her anything. It's not that I forgot about Mother's Day. I did think of various gift ideas but it wasn't practical or way out of my budget. Then in the end, it's like resignation. Can't think of anything and I guessed I was too busy with other things to even make a card. Hmm. Things have changed. More than I ever expected. Ack. I just can't blog openly... Hmm. Sorry if this seems like a cliffhanger.

Ok... Time to change topic and see if it helps. Oh ya, only one more paper to go! =) Had chemistry and chinese today. Hmm. I got to admit that the comprehension passage was fun to do... The content was especially intersting and thought-provoking. The passage was on marriage. Ever wondered why you never read about life after marriage in fairytales? Think about it... There was also a line on how marriage seems to lead to the "death" of love but people still get married. The small anecdote in the passage was one of those touching recount of how the author saw an old couple taking care of each other and how that made him realize that love is found in the most common everyday thing and is not always expressed about sweet-nothings, romantic gestures, etc... (By the way, it sounds way nicer in chinese. Maybe I'll type it out one day in chinese...) Hmm. The small things in life mean so much. Not just in relationships between couples but also between people. And so for that, thanks Jeann for remembering that my last paper's tomorrow and smsing me well wishes. =)

There's one more thing that I want to blog about. It's been on my mind for close to a week and was one of the various things that I was thinking about yesterday... Ack. It's one of those topics I rather not face and don't like blogging openly about. Erm. Hope whoever actually reads my blog entry don't mind if I'm being vague. Anyway, after something took place, the situation just hit me. I've been coping with it and was getting used to it but how real and the degree of change was just a bit overwhelming. I had placed too much expectations on that and right now, I'm seriously let down. I was the one that you all were worried about, worried about how I would change in a new school. Ya, I admit I've changed but I kept my word. I didn't let go of who I am. Ironic how the situation changed because of you. Urk. I'm not making sense cause everything's too vague but if I blog in detail, it'll lead to consequences that I'm not ready to deal with yet. But no matter how the situation has changed and no matter how I'm feeling about that, at least you seem happier and you have them to be there for you so I think I'm going to let go more than ever... Reluctantly. But still, I think I got to. Unless things change and you make the first move once more...

Laadeedaa. Nope, I'm not being moody by the way. I just need to let this out... Yeps.

My nice mei. =)

Due to the fact that both of us are extremely bored, we shall devote an entry to each other.
(I am making too many dedications.. Sighs?)

Hmm. Renee is my nice, nice mei who is always nice to me (unlike some people...) Haha. She claims I'm influencing her. Laadeedaa. Am I? Ok. Let's see. Erm... She just told me that thanks to me, she talks on the phone more! Haha. I broke her previous record and it's right now 2 hrs! Oh. I like studying on the phone with her! I actually remember stuff from those calls.

Yay! She's another person who can stand my hyperness and randomness. Trust me, she has to put up with a lot of that.. She's getting influenced by my craziness. She claims she's getting crazier too!

Ok... Shall end it now. We're just doing this cause we're bored and want to destress from Chem. And btw, we're not les.

Yesterday. (I'm running out of ideas.)

Sammi came to church yesterday! Lol. Actually, it's no longer as shocking as it would have been. Erm. Sermon was on Da Vinci Code. That's about it. FUEL was vaguely amusing. Mel, stop sabo-ing me, can? Pft. Dinner. Erm. Surprisingly lack of appetite. Was only thirsty and craving for ice cream and famous amos cookies. =) ReversO + Very Berry is nice! -slurps- Erm. Truth or dare is one of the worst games that can be played in public. -pokes the evil person who suggested playing the game ytd- Laadeedaa. Pft. The dare I had to do was erm... embarrassing. But relatively safer compared to the other options?! Like erm. Sammi and Mel, we were in public?! Pft. Laadeedaa. I think sammi enjoyed her dares though. Hmm. Sighs. I realized we like to ask questions that involve choosing the "lesser of two evils"... Like pick between ... and ... Laadeedaa. Sighs. The only nice thing I got out of yesterday was like I got to borrow one book each from sammi and mel. Thanks. =) Shall start on the books after I'm done with revision. Don't think I'm in the mood for blogging so didn't blog in detail and all. Leave a tag if you want me to edit this entry... Laadeedaa. But then again, most people only leave tags saying that I'm scandalous. Pft.

Apology

Hmm. I guess I'm feeling bad for smsing a few people last night/this morning when I couldn't sleep and disturbing you all. Sorry. People like sammi were awake and had to actually bear with me ranting... And of course, one or two others had to bear with me on MSN. So sorry. That's all.

Exams

It's that time of mugging once more. Ack. Ok... I'm getting too critical of my writing style. Edited the introduction twice already. I shall just not bother about the style and write normally. Taking the English exam today was enough. Blogging's meant to help me settle down and just relax, not make my mind active. At least, not now...

Anyway, for those who don't know, I'm going through my mid-years now except that it isn't really a mid-year examination. My mid-year = end of years? Considering that my school operates on a 6 monthly modular system so each module ends after 6 months. But surprisingly, I'm not as stressed out now compared to when I was preparing for eoys last year. I wonder why... Before I continue, I must thank my nice mei, Renee, who studies over the phone with me for like all the subjects? Haha. We covered all the math modules, physics, bio and even english over the phone for the past few days. =) And yet another realization: Revision can actually be done effectively over the phone! Mei, we so rock! Haha. But it helps to study over the phone and go through the questions together.

Just had my first few major papers today. English, Physics, Polynomial Equations and Functions. Erm. English was ok, I guess? But I did leave some questions unanswered. Lack of time. But it shouldn't affect my marks that badly, I hope. Physics. Erm... Ok. This is the really sad part. It was an open book examination which means we could bring in one piece of A4 paper with anything we want written on it. And yet, I think I'll still fail the examination. Though someone said that I shouldn't just be aiming to pass, for physics, passing means a lot to me already. To make up for the dismal performance in physics, I did try aiming high for other modules.

Then came Polynomial Equations and Functions. Erm. I would probably get a B grade or so? But that's really falling short of my aim. I was aiming for 90% in my exam so that I can pull up my overall grade to A- but now, I really doubt it. Oh well, time to look foward to the next few exams. Matrices and Coordinate Geometry tomorrow. Though I used to think I shouldn't aim high as it'll just hurt more when you fall, I shall dare to aim high for once. Only for one math module do I care to aim for a overall 90 grade. Matrices. As long as I'm careful, I know I can achieve that. -blinks- When did I actually begin to have confidence in myself? Especially when it came to academic grades. -shrugs- We'll see how things go. All the best to everyone! =)

That missing piece of the puzzle

Well, my current blogskin doesn't show the title of my entry which is both good and bad, I guess. This time, the title's too much of a giveaway to what I want to write about and we can't have that, can we? Considering that I have every intention of making this blog entry as vague as possible. So ya... Let's see if I can do that.

Let's see. Service. The sermon didn't really speak out to me but rather, it was the time when we were supposed to just close our eyes and listen for God's voice. This image was constantly in my mind. Then altar call. I didn't go up cause I didn't really fit into any of the groups. But in my seat, I was being touched by God. The song "Rescue". Mel or isaac, if you have that song, can send to me next time? Hmm. Realization, that I was so close to repeating the process of last year. Moodiness, depression, tears. Letting go of some things. I've never been good at letting go. Still aren't. But it's like the list just got longer. Relationships, emotions, etc...

FUEL. Erm... Sad that I had to leave half-way. Then when making my way to dinner, I was like calling up people and asking them to call with me on the phone. Thanks Renee and Glo. =) But ya. Even the wanting to talk to someone was telling. It made me realized... Oh well. Dinner. Erm... Felt out of place? Never did like eating in such an enviroment. Doesn't suit me? Anyway, after dinner, went to check out some "Hark Music Cafe". Cousin was having her ROM there. As the name implies, it's cafe with a stage. For karaoke purposes? Anyway, the whole family was just sitting there stoning. I was no exception. Hmm. Then I started thinking... Erm. Ya. The same thing that I realized just now? Ouch. It came back and hit me on the head again. So ya... Not good. Anyway, have I mentioned that it's actually relaxing to stare at the flame of a candle? Haha. Was playing with the camera in my phone and took a picture of the flame emitting blue light. =) Whee!

Sighs. I think I've still not covered what I want to but I think I rather not. Sighs. This entry doesn't make much sense, right?

Today - mood swings (?)

For a lack of a better title, I just picked "Today". Considering that this blog entry will just be about what happened so far today which isn't much really, I can't find a title to cover what I'm going to write about.

It was raining in the morning! I wanted to stand in the rain but for practical reasons and violent objections from sylvie and renee. Sighs. Assembly was in 10 minutes and besides my top is white (colour of my school uniform...)
Had my first exam paper today. Higher Chinese Paper 1. I never did consider paper 1 (english or chinese doesn't matter) as an exam so there wasn't any reason to be nervous. Hmm. I guessed I kind of went crazy and picked the one question I shouldn't have picked? For those who don't know, there are three kinds of questions for the essay.

1) Narrative
2) Exposition
3) Commenting on newspaper article.

The one kind of questions that teachers told us not to do was -insert drum roll- exposition. This round, I was trying to decide between exposition and the commenting on a newpaper article. Let's see. It was either writing on the generation gap between parents and their children or writing my opinion on the recent dialogue session between Lee Kuan Yew and those young adults. Though I had points for both topics, I was really inclined towards the exposition so erm... I kind of threw common sense out of the examination hall and did the topic that I wanted. I think it's probably going to cost me my marks but erm. I don't think I'll regret it. It was just so fun writing about that topic. When I refer to doing an exam paper as "fun", it's safe to say I'm a bit abnormal. As in even weirder than my normal self. Haha.

Ok. Anyway, after that was just lunch and 3 hour of bridging modules. Hmm. I found out my CA grade for coordinate geometry. Need to do way better for my exam paper. I want to put my marks up to above average at the very least. After that, was going home alone. Sorry sylvie, I guessed I wasn't in the mood to go West Mall and all. I was doing sudoku on the bus. *faints* Yeps. I was kind of shocked when I realized that but it was nice to just be focused on something and not stone.

Reached home and erm... slacked. Ya. I really should be mugging but I realized I mug best at night. So I'm slacking now til after dinner? But anyway, was trying to complete the sudoku puzzle. Failed. Never mind. It was still an accomplishment for me as I managed to fill it up a bit more. Anyway, started reading this story on fictionpress. Sammi, your recommendations are good. Hmm. Read "When you own the universe". Erm. What is it with me and getting so caught up in fictional stories? I constantly talk to the television screen, criticizing the characters or when reading fictionpress, I tend to empathize with the characters too much that I get a bit emotional? Oops? Thought about some things when reading the story. Erm. Ya. Why am I blogging this again? Oh ya... Cos I'm actually in the mood too for once to blog something proper. That's all for now.

Scandals

People are attracted to scandals. I guess it's fairly obvious in society and all. Look at all the media attention that celebraties get when they get into anything scandalous. And the reason behind people liking to gossip? Similar reasons, I guess. Anyway, this part of the entry was prompted by the sudden increase in tags on my tagboard ever since recently when a few of my entries became more "scandalous". At least, that must be how it seems. Hmm. I can't say that I'm happy or upset over this link between the content of my entry to the amount of people tagging. Though the number of tags is not always related to the number of visitors to a blog, I still think I'll be right if I say that people visit blogs more when the "scandal" level of the blog is nice.

Why do people visit other's blogs? Boredom? Finding information? Wanting to know what goes on? Amusement/Entertainment? Hmm. For me, I guess the blogs I visit the most often are the blogs of people who I actually care more about and I want to know what I'm missing out on in their lives or what they're thinking about, so on and so forth. Based on that, I've got to admit I don't go regularly to many people's blogs. Only those few. Hmm. You should know who you people are? I think it's fairly obvious. But anyway, the list of blogs that I go to regularly seems to have changed a bit just over these past months. Interesting...

Congratulations

Pft. Congrats to the first two members of ACFC. You've done your job extremely well and the damage has been done. But I've got to admit, in between the times of frustration and trying to answer all the questions from various people, I'm getting amused too. Oh well.

Dedicated to you. =)

Since you asked and me being nice and all, I shall dedicate this whole entry to you and er... ya, just write about you. =)
Hmm. It's been a short time since I started to know you, as in talk to you and all. Not just aware that you exist. Haha. Anyway, how have you impacted me/influenced me?
Ok. For some weird reason, I can't seem to write. Writer's block. Probably due to my reluctance to write about this on my blog.
Well, one of the impact's that fine system that you implemented... Pft. It cost me like $4 already, rite? Oh well. At least I haven't had to pay for the past 1+ months. Hmm. That really helps when it comes to controlling my mood. And er ya... Dunno if you remember the one MSN conv we had and you were kind of telling me off? The one when I was moody and all... A while after I got comissioned, I think. Yep. Anyway, your words kind of stuck. One of the few reasons why I'm probably less moody?
Oh ya. You're very nice. =) Shaln't bother elaborating on this though. And your tolerance level for randomness's quite high. =) That's why it's so fun to sms random things to you. You make me smile and laugh a lot. Yeps. That's one of the biggest impact. Hmm... I really can't think of what to write. Ok... Corrections: I know but I just can't seem to put it into words. If you really want, let you read my notebook next time? Sorry darling. This's all I can write for now. =p

Looking back.

Looking back was never advisable for me. I'll just remember all the pain and hurt that I went through. But I realized on saturday that what didn't kill me made me stronger. Eventually.
Today, during A.C.E, I couldn't help but smirk at the part when Ms Flo said how eventually reflection becomes part of your life, like when you hear a song or read a book. How right. Every thing I do, I start to think about it and reflect. But I no longer reflect in the same way as last year. Last year, reflection = moodiness.
And also, the thing about how only you've been through some sadness, then you'll enjoy happiness. I guess I finally learned how to stop filling that void inside me with moodiness like how I did last year. Sadness and depression were reliable... They filled me up. But not with meaning. This year, that void's filled with happiness at how things are. I treasure each time that I laugh and have fun. And it helps. The amount of time I was moody last year this time is almost equal to the number of times I am happy now. Which shows the distinct improvement.
As to what happened last year, well, what has passed has passed. I don't think that I've regreted what I've done though. Given the choice, would I still do the same thing and go through all the misunderstandings again? I guess I would. That was partly what formed me and our friendship. If you read this, I guess I just want to thank you for being you. Ya, we've been through too many downs but somehow, we always reached the ups once more. Now, I'm going through my ups without you. Hope you're doing as well. I won't know. We've drifted. And it takes too much effort to hold on now. I want to but I got too tired. I learned it the hard way that I've got to let go. Things have changed. So have we.

Recap of saturday.

Sammi reminded me that I didn't blog about westside story and that day... Oops. My apologies. Anyway, that way was hectic and consisted of rushing from one place to another and the best part was I enjoyed every minute of it. Here's how the schedule was like:
9:30 am - 11:30am : Chemistry tutorial
1:30 pm - 4:40 pm : Meet Sis Serena in church to catch up and all followed by service
5:00 pm - Went IMM to support Jonathan in "Cutest kid competition"
7:30 pm - Meet Sammi at Esplanade to watch "Westside Story"
Yes, I'm aware that there are some gaps in times, those times were probably the travelling time.
Hmm. To go into more detail about the day, I guess I'll focus on the last event. Going out with sammi. Even though everything was finalized the night before and was really rushed and last-minute, I can say that I really enjoyed chatting with her and all. It triggered off this thought/realization that I had: "This friendship not only lasted beyond what I expected, but it's probably going to be one of my most lasting friendships, and maybe even longer than some other friendships that I thought would last forever." I rather not go into detail and all but I guess life's just full of the unexpected things. Some things I thought I'll lose, I regained it. Some things I thought I'll have forever, I lost it almost instantaneously.
Anyway, just talking to her was a nice experience. Haven't spent much quality time with her instead of just over the phone. Sammi, I owe you so many more "outings". I'll try my best to get permission for the one thing we both want most, ok? Lol. And ya, we're both booked for Grease, ok? Thanks for inviting me for Westside Story. =)

A new beginning?

Hmm... Realized that in many times, the past few months have been nothing like Sec 1 and 2 but rather, a repeat of primary school? Lol. With a few changes, of course.
But it's like I've started to enjoy studying again. Ya sure, I complain about the workload a lot but I'm actually finding school fun. It's like this whole new beginning. And of course, there are other things that have changed a lot from last year. So many things...
But hmm. To put it simply, I feel like I'm reliving the joy and innocence of childhood again. I'm still able to smile and enjoy life without being that cynical or sarcastic. It's as if the previous two years never happened...

Oh well, I've been wanting to blog about this for a while but circumstances never permitted. But now, when I blog, it's such a short entry... Haha. Maybe another time?

Amusement

Yesterday was interesting, to put it mildly...
Went over to sylvie's house to do physics airlift assignment, or at least attempted to. Sawing wood is fun! Lol.
Anyway, after that was the mad rush from her house to mine and then to sammi's house. I left sylvie's house at 4:40 and went home, bathed, pack my bag and rushed to sammi's house by 6. Not bad... At sammi's hse, I was amusing her, I guess. Took a taxi down to church cause we lost track of time at her house? Lol. Coincidences? Interesting who the first 3 people we saw were. Anyway, lots of shocks, etc. Sammi being evil and being very amused. During doctor's journal, I was stuck between two people who are part of the ACFC. And one of them's like the president of ACFC?! -blinks-
Supper! Being bullied. Sammi, you're supposed to be on my side!
-blinks- why am I even blogging about this in the first place? Oh well... Time to get back to work. Anyway, yesterday was amusing and I digged my own grave so many times too. Haiz.

100th post

Never thought this blog will last so long. My 100th entry! This blog was started at the end of 2004, after I came back from Youth Camp. In the 1+ year that has passed, this blog has recorded so much of what happened. My various mood swings, the more interesting and memorable events that have occured throughout last year and part of this year has been recorded down. How much things have changed... What I tagged on gan jie's blog and what her entry was about just reminds me so much of everything. I'm really too sentimental.
Anyway, I realized that I'm reading too much again... I know I've blogged about that but time to get even more specific. When I was young, the fiction books were always some fantasy/action books. But now, the genre has changed to romance and stuff like that. Why the "stuff like that"? Well, it's cause I don't specifically go for romance books but the books that I've been reading talks about many issues in life that I've always tried to avoid. Relationships, love, life, death, memory, etc. These topics have always tend to make me more "reflective" which used to equal moodiness. But now, I'm coping better, I guess. I get reflective and just think about what I've read but the moodiness doesn't come that badly anymore. But anyway, so many quotes and phrases that I really like... Hmm.
I really want to blog and write on every single phrase that I like from the books that I've read but it just doesn't seem appropriate. Don't ask me why, I have no idea myself... Even the play "A Beautiful Companion" and that whole night, there were so many things that I was thinking about but I just can't seem to put them down into words. But as I said, so many things have changed yet so many things stay the same. And somehow, all my reflections and all always seem to revolve around the same few things/people... Oh well.

Unspoken but written...

1. list 10 things you want to say to 10 people but know you never will
2. don't say who they are
3. never discuss it again
[Took this from gan jie's blog... Abt condition no 1, I'm not so sure about the "never" part but it's probably just highly unlikely. Anyway, some of the people might seem obvious but don't even ask me anything... Refer to condition 3. So here goes...]

1. Have you even realized how much hurt and damage you have caused? It's been a chore to talk to you, to even be civil. But society and my own conscience refuses to let me cut off all ties with you, I guess. I do feel guilty at times but you don't even make a move to mend this gap that just increases with time.

2. You're one of the few people that I felt influenced me quite a significant bit over the time I knew you. How do I say this? It was such a joy and such a pain to know you. Pain, the experience of interacting with you grew tiring but joy, the friendship that we shared just couldn't be compared. Although I'm emotional, I willingly opened up to you more. Compared to others who only knew me through their analysis. I opened up to you. Thanks for being there. But now. I have this question that I hate to ask but it just bothers me, "Would things have turned out better if we didn't know each other?" Less joy but also less hurt. Anywyay, Thanks. I'll try my best to still always be there. That, I promise.

3. Urk. Stop pretending! I don't believe that you're really who you seem to be. You're not. And we all know it so just be yourself for real. So who cares if it's a weaker side of you? So what? I want to know you for who you are. It's been a while since I first knew you but you're still hiding behind the mask.

4. Hmm... Never thought that I'll be writing this to you. But anyway, a small incident long time ago made me feel really bad and guilty. You used to care about me but I kept crushing all your hope and rejecting you. Sorry. It might seem like an excuse but that was my natural reflex. Sorry. When you told me one day that you used to care, I was feeling bad. I don't think you'll remember this incident but anyway, sorry for putting you down so many times.

5. You. Thanks. How many times I want to repeat that? I don't know... But I don't know. I really feel like there's so much to thank you for. Even things that seem insignificant, they made me smile. So ya... Thanks. Heehee. Actually, there's more I want to say but I rather not type it out... =p I don't think anyone will notices this part that's added on... But now, I guess I'll just type it out. I've always been too emotional and feel too much, concerning myself so much when other people have problems. Especially if they're close to me, once they get down, I get affected. You're one of those who I care more about... So it really hurts when you're down and I just feel so helpless cause I don't know how to cheer you up, to bring a smile to your face. I'm not the person for that job, I'm just not the one who can cheer you up. But why do I still try?

6 - 10. I can't think of anyone yet... Heehee... So that's all for now.

If anything sounded a bit more moody than usual, I apologize. I just finished reading a book before that and normally, after reading a mood, I'm a bit too reflective and think too much about the past... =p

Pft...

Ok. I knew it wasn't a smart move to put that Mel's hotter and cuter than Isaac so now, I'm kind of "forced" to write something else. Here goes:
Isaac is hotter and sexier than melanie.
Pft. Done...

Interactions

Friends. That has always been one issue I'm too concerned about.
Anyway, there have been various things that just summarize the state of my various friendships with different groups of people..
Thursday, sylvie came over to my house and we just did our homework and then watched "Pride and Prejudice". Quote: "Goddess Divine". Rofl... But ya, the few hours was mostly quite relaxing and just filled with laughter and random stuff...
Friday, going back to Nanyang. Hmm... Gloria has always been able to read me well. -shrugs- Anyway, I realized how much I was still clinging on to things that I should let go... I'll elaborate more on it later... Oh ya, going to Orchard. Some memories that I hold dear.
Anyway, after that, met up with Melanie... Dinner before Lcell... Lots of laughter and random things and getting traumatized. Oh ya, I promise Mel something... Here goes. Melanie is cuter (minus ugly) and hotter than Isaac! But the best part was we got it wrong... There wasn't lcell. So went to Island Creamery. Anyway, that was for Friday.
Saturday, service... Ouch. The one image that's constantly been in my head for the past few services is the idea of two ropes being connected but then it's cut through... The ropes are only connected by a few strands... The thing is, I've to cut away those strands and it'll hurt... I'm purposely being vague by the way... It's quite obvious though what I'm talking about. Fuel... Hmm. Ouch. Trials. Brother Andy sharing his story... It touched my heart... How true. Even though I thought that I've forgiven and the bitterness and pain is no longer there, each time, the tears flow again. Dinner. Hmm. More amusement and I'm kind of surprised by how things have turned out... Anyway, on the bus trip back, was talking to Sammi on the phone... It struck me how our friendship lasted even after Primary 6, something that was kind of unexpected...
Oh well... To put it simply, the friendship with my friends from various groups... HPPS, NY, NUSHS and church... The situation right now is really unexpected... in a good way and in a bad...

Ok. That's enough of reflecting... And now, I'm getting exploited by Sammi! -sulks- I'm probably going to help her with lit homework... Dots... Pft.. Time to stop blogging and help her...

Books... world of my own.

Recently, I've gone back to reading a lot, or at least more than the past few months.

Since young, I've "devoured" books by the dozen but after primary 6, I've stopped reading as much. Or at least, I haven't just sat down and concentrate on reading. Til recently. Been making weekly trips to JE regional library and spending 1 hr there each time, just browsing or actually reading. Anyway, been finding some nice books to read, those kind that just make me tune out everything and I just can't stop reading and can't bear to put the book down. How to know I'm crazy over that book? When I stay up way beyond my bedtime and turn on my bedside light just to read... Found some lines in one of the latest books I read that were so touching and so meaningful that I actually saved it down...

Then, my latest craze... Books written by this author zhang xiao xian... Yes. Chinese books written by this author. The one I'm reading and enjoying right now is "Ba tian tang huan gei wo"... Direct translation: Return heaven to me. The book's actually a lot of short essays/pieces on various topics compiled together... Most of them touch on the affairs of the heart and relationships, etc... Maybe when I'm free, I'll translate some over to English and post them on my blog... I wanted to do a reflection of what I've read so far from that book in this blog but decided against it. Maybe some other time?

Saturday craziness... -blinks-

Hmm... Ok. Yesterday was my first day on the computer after 5 days away at OBS so it became a time of catching up on my friends' lives through their blogs... As usual, I became kind of affected by what I read as usual and started getting a bit reflective. (Disclaimer: reflective no longer equals moody, ok?) Ok, fine... To be really honest, I think that if anything else had cropped up, I probably would have broken down. I was that close to crying. =p But it was only for about 5 minutes, ok?
After that, went to KAP and had lunch... Lol. Yay! Samantha agreed to go for Games Day! Whee! Anyway, Games Day was fun and amusing and during the short service, I got a reminder of certain stuff that I forgot since 2004... After that, dinner again with the same group of people. Lol. Hmm... Can't blog about it much. So sad. Anyway, after going home, was just so caught up in a book and also being amused. Anyway, I really feel like saying "Thanks!" to those who made me smile or laugh in one way or another yesterday & today! -cough- It really made my day and I cheered up a lot. =) Hmm... Should I do a special mention section? Lol. Anyway, it depends. Hmm. Don't feel surprised if I go around thanking people. Haha. Ok... I think I'm becoming too hyper. =p

Outward Bound

There was a reason why my title didn't include the word "School", I think. -shrugs-
Since most people have been to OBS, I feel that there's no need to blog about the 5 days in great detial. I'll just blog about the highlights of each day or so plus a bit more.
Monday: My watch was Eng Soon. Too bad there was no girls from my class in Eng Soon. But I survived quite well. =) I learned how to kayak! Capsizing is fun! It was interesting to koala bear hug the kayak. Lol. I like kayaking too much for my own good! =) It supports my opinion that my "element" is water.

Tuesday: Those hiking bags are heavy! Trekking 3 over kilometres with that bag and two 2l water bottle isn't easy... Ouch. Shoulder ache. My sleeping pattern's all upside down. Dozed off and woke up quite a few times... Haha. Thanks didi for covering Mei and I with a poncho. If not, we'll probably catch a cold or something. =p Cooking outdoors was interesting. =) Didn't get food poisoning! Lolz...

Wednesday: Height element (aka. Inverse tower)! Ok... I'm really unfit. Took forever to get up there. My leg was shaking... Literally. But it was a good experience. I learned to just not give up and continue trying. Now, I guess I understand the logic behind the idea that only when you're placed out of your comfort zone and faced with challenges, then only would you know your true strengths and subsequently, your limits. I wasn't afraid of the height, which is good. The view from the inverse tower was great! Actually, as long as I can see the sea or something, I'm normally happy. =)

Thursday: Sea expedition! =) We had to kayak from Pulau Ubin to Sembawang beach.. Whew. Tiring. My kayaking partner (aka Lu Xin) is nice. Haha. I kept forgetting to apply sunblock and all. And he reminded me. Thanks! Anyway, kayaking there was tedious but hey, I'm in the sea. That just rocks! (I think I like water too much...) Set up camp and cooked dinner. Dinner tasted good! =)

Friday: Had to kayak back from Sembawang beach... In half the time compared to Thursday cause we were on a tight schedule. We set off early in the morning and as we kayak, we could see the sun rise. It was so nice! -gush- Went back to pulau ubin and packed up, etc...

I feel that the entry's kind of short but it's because that's just a recount of what I did but hmm. It's time for the 2nd part of my entry on OBS.

OBS was about stepping out of our comfort zone so there wasn't the use of the "luxuries" of normal life, it was just the bare necessity. I was kind of shocked to realize what I miss the most about my normal lifestyle: my handphone. I realize that I'm seriously overdependent on it and what it means to me. Contact with people that I hold dear... Each time I star-gazed or looked at the night sky which means almost every night, I'll just start thinking about people in the mainland and how much I wish they were with me.
Thursday night/Friday morning, I was supposed to be on sentry duty so I was still awake while dear didi and meimei fell asleep. Pft. Haha. Just joking. I know we're all tired. But anyway, I just went to the stone ledge and sat there and just stoned... And thought about stuff. Seriously, I just wished that some of those who I missed were there with me.. To just star-gaze and talk... Anyway, when I was stoning, it was high-tide... So the whole atmosphere and all was almost perfect. =) Nice to have the chance to stone at the beach. =) No need to go sentosa and stone, at least not that soon. =p Anyway, OBS was a nice break... So march holidays weren't all that wasted.

Issues

I don't think this entry will make much sense since my thoughts are rather disorganized as usual. =p But seriously, I couldn't come up with a better title because today's entry will cover quite a few things.

A few people have been blogging about the Johari/Nohari window and how it cannot be used to describe a person accurately. In fact, it seems senseless to waste time on this "window", right? Personally, my reasons for asking people to do my Johari & Nohari window were...
1) Fun. Amusement... It was interesting to see how people viewed me as...
2) Comparison. It wasn't to find out who I was. Rather, it was to find out how much of what people think wasn't true or to put it simply, a facade. -blinks- I'm not making sense, am I? Oh well... Next topic. I'll have to edit this part of the entry some other time.

Anyway, over the past one week, I did get moody for one day... Which is kind of surprising. Considering that my mood last year was just this constant moodiness. =p Oh well. Here, I apologize to anyone of you that had to put up with that last year and part of this year. =p Anyway, back to the original topic. I was moody over something that I didn't really expect. Results. After my results last year and all, you would think that I've gotten more used to failure. But this time, I guess it was my pride and ego that was hurt quite badly. I had relatively high expectations for that subject. Strange but true. So when I didn't meet that expectation and did worse than expected, it was quite hard to bear. I almost broke down in class... Note the "almost". I got out of that moodiness soon afterwards though. Then only at home, after showing parents that result, did I finally break. But yes, I just feel like typing out this weird logic that I have. Basically, it's not good to aim high. Because the higher you aim, when you fall, the distance from your aim is more so you get hurt more. Warped? But it applies for me. But there's always exceptions.

Over the course of this week, there were so many things I wanted to blog about but now, I'm just not in the mood. Anyway, would those who actually still visit my blog just tag and say that you people do? Thanks. Because I'm getting tempted to just change the URL of this blog and make it a private blog or something. Since no one's reading. At least, I don't think so.

Joy of life

~I've found it. But at times, I just forget~

Hmm... I'll just be blogging about the previous days, I think...

Thursday
I was extremely hyper and just looking foward to the next day even though there was a major biology exam. In fact, I was hyper right after my chemistry test. Sylvie can vouch for that! =) We went to popular to buy some things and I finally spent my voucher on a CD. It's the new one, the "Greatest love of all". =) Hmm. I wonder why it's filled with love songs... Haha. Then we went around the night market looking at bags and all while waiting for my Ramly burgers... Whee! I had such a good appetite. Bought two home to eat. -slurps- Anyway, back at home, I was being really high... Haha. I pity those who had to put up with me like gan jie, glo and sammi. Thanks so much! But ya.
Friday
I was still hyper even with the biology exam in hours and could really rest and "sleep" in school minutes before the exam. Proness? Haha. After the exam, went back to NY. =) Saw those 3. =) Went out to orchard with glo and gan jie. Bought yet another CD. This one was some "Piano Hits" thing... Yep. Then went j8. Neoprints! =) It's been ages since I took with them so ya... And glo glo was nice! She bought me a blob blob! =) Haha. Then celebrated grandma's dinner.
Saturday
Last piano lesson with my piano teacher... Stopping lessons with her so ya... Went back home and was attempting to start on my homework when I took a break to just reorganize my neoprints... -side-tracking time-
Neoprints... To some people, they might not see the purpose of taking neoprints. After all, it's just some minature pictures that people pay outrageous amount of money for. Yes, it might seem like a waste of money but to me, it's just like personalized photos. Capturing past times. Funny how an inanimate object could invoke emotions within me.. That was what happened on Saturday. Flipping through my old book of neoprints, a few particular pictures just tugged at my heart. And I guessed I was on the verge on breaking. In fact, I probably would have... Thanks glo. Yep. It didn't help that I was listening to piano hits so it set a very "moody" mood... (Does that make sense?) Anyway, gloria was talking to me and I cheered up a bit... Which meant that I just didn't think about the issue much after that. But after talking to her, it was time to rush to church. Somehow, I just think of everything too much whenever I'm in church so this saturday was no exception. Ouch. The issues that bothered me came up again. I don't want to elaborate much so ya. Leave it, ok? But then again, no one reads this blog so it's fairly ok but still... =p Haha. I'm not making sense again. Anyway, that's that. Didn't go for dinner with pple from church cause parents wanted me to eat with them so couldn't say "no". Not much to blog about for that day other than the fact that I was forcing myself to stay up due to homework so ya...
Sunday
Pft. Dad woke up me at 9... I wanted to sleep in til I realize that the whole family was going swimming! =) Whee! Haven't been swimming in ages. So went to Bukit Batok Swimming Complex and just played with my bro at the kid's pool... Haha. Imagine me sliding down the slide meant for kids. Rofl. Then afterwards, had the chance to swim a few proper laps. Ok... I've not swam proper laps for about a few years so it took a while to get used to everything. Pft. I have totally no stamina at all... Oh well. Anyway, after a few laps, joined my mum and bro again. Played water a while before swimming a few more laps with my mum. =) Yay! Private coach! Haha. But ya, my mum could help me watch my swimming stroke and all and corrected me on a few things. So ya. Had to miss D&D cause of homework overload... =( Went home and ya... the usual. Homework, a few breaks, etc... That's about it. =) Now, I'm not hyper yet not down... Things should stay that way.

Ok... I just realized that I didn't cover what I wanted to... Namely, the title. But I'm really not in the mood to blog now. So I guess I'll cover it some other time. That's all for today. =)

School

I've not been blogging in about 1 week which is a bit surprisingly to me since I wanted to blog but just never did know where to start.
Just felt like commenting about school. For some weird reason, school has been bearable and I even venture to describe it as "fun"... I've been hyper for the past weeks and though I've calmed down a bit, I think I'm still quite high at times. Ask Renee... She'll tell you what she has had to put up with. Lol. All the amusing things that happens on a daily basis. Thanks to Sylvie, Renee and all. Haha. I'm getting influenced by them. =) Lol. Private joke.
Just not in the mood to blog. Guess I'm too used to blog angsty entries and all. But since my mood's been relatively ok, that's good. I guess..

Happy Valentine's Day! (belated...)

Ok... It was really tempting to copy my entry from my MSN space but I decided not to... But some of the content will be repeated, so ya...

Anyway, Valentine's Day. For me, the day has never been so much about all the "mushiness", the cliched flowers, chocolate and stuff. It's mostly just another day with the exception of my mum who always give me something and wish me "Happy V-Day!" So ya... This year wasn't really much of an exception. Got to thank Shu Mei for the keychain though. =) And duh, my mum. Whee! New handphone pouch. Cuteness.. Yep. Then the few smses on that day itself.
But what I'll remember most abt this year's V-day was that time after school... Apart from a scrumptious steamboat dinner at my relative's place, I got a "gift" that I liked. Haha. Laughter. No, it's not really a gift but ya, I laughed a lot and was in a good mood so thanks. Yep. That's about it...
This line, I have to repeat what I said on my MSN space. Even though I didn't wish many pple "Happy V-day" or give u all gifts/notes, I just want to say I love you pples a lot still, ok? Mostly directed to my closer friends... Pls dun be mistaken. =p

Calm before the storm.

Read the title... You can guess this entry isn't going to be as cheery as the rest but I'll try to stay in a good mood, ok?
Anyway, I'll just blog a bit more on how I spent the CNY holidays.
2nd day: More visiting of relatives... The usual questions and comments. It's become a routine. The questions about age, school, etc... Oh well. Then after the questions comes the usual comments (compliments. =p)... Haha. Yep. Then dinner at auntie's house to celebrate her birthday... Then... Tadaa... The reason for my extended hyperness for the next day: Karaoke! Haha. Cousin brought me along to this place in Chinatown for karaoke with her friends... Lol. Was there from 10 plus to 2? Yep. 2am. Haha. Ya. But it was rather fun. And I'm still surprised by how many of the chinese pop songs I had heard of before.
3rd day: Whee! Hui Shi's house! It's been blogged about by others... But for me, that day was just R&R... Lots of laughs... Very amusing. Yep. Can't believe I only left her house at 7 though... And I like her hammock. =) Just realized that I didn't NFS... Oh well. Heehee. And the chocolate cake is really too sweet.
That's all... Now. Back to school... Which meant yesterday. Lessons were ok. After all, it's only a short day. Yep. Had first session of CCA. Haha. I'm learning from gan jie, not telling people my CCA. Corrections: not telling some people about my CCA. Quite a few know actually. Yep. =p Anyway, CCA was amusing and brought quite a big surprise.. Haha. I love doing this to you all. =p Then after school, was using the computer... Record number of MSN convs at one time... More than 5.. I rarely talk to so many pple at the same time.. Then trying to understand chemistry...
Then.. Er.. came some problems... Not with chemistry. But er. something else. I'm honest. The hyperness/happiness of the previous days was no longer there. Didn't sleep til 11:30. Those who know me should realize that that is late for me... Especially on a school day. Yep.
But today cheered me up a bit. As I long as I don't think too much about the previous night which is quite hard... But ya. Was sleepy and hyper during school. Then went JE library and then popular! Pft. No idea which CD to buy. Was eyeing a few... And with that, it's time to update my profile. =p

Hyperness during festive season

Haha. I've been relatively hyper the past few days... And considering that it's school term now, I'm pleasantly surprised. Compared to last year, this year's shaping up to be less moody? Haha. Oh well. I shall start with Friday. Was hyper from morning onwards. Heehee. The school celebration was short and sweet. Hmm. A lot of amusing things. Like the cross-talk. All the chinese idioms. Haha.
Then went back to hpps. More amusement... I think it's the first time the girls and guys interacted so much. Haha.
What followed was memorable. It's been covered by the rest but I'll just write a brief paragraph about it. Caught "Memoirs of a Geisha" with gan jie, glo, shao, sammi, zx, gab, nic, bryan and samuel. Lol. Try focusing on the show when there was entertainment provided by -cough- others. Ya... Then after the show, more laughter..
-cough- Dr Crab -cough- Haha. Yep. =) Dinner at Swensens. Hmm. A lot of laughter as discussion about the movie went on. Pft. Got bullied. But haha. A lot, a lot of laughter. Too many personal jokes. But yep, that'll b a day I remember... =)
Then yesterday, reunion dinner. -cough- Haha. My poor cousin. He's the same age as me but he was mistaken as a kid. The restaurant charged us for 6 adults and 2 kids... It's supposed to be either 7 adults +1 kid or 5 adults + 3 kids... They must think he's below 12. Poor cousin. Haha. Then when a guy posing as "Cai Sheng Ye" came, he gave hongbaos to my cousin and his younger sis and totally ignored me. Haha. I think I'm too old... Haha. No longer considered a kid. But oh well. I can't say I mind.. Heehee.
Today, lol. My mum's favourite time to doll me up... Yep. My hair was messed with by my auntie and mum. And they wanted to apply make-up on me! Dots. Haha. Yep. But overall, it's been a few days of laughter and joy. Hope it stays that way. =)

7 things.

SE7EN things that make me smile:
1) Cute puppies
2) Amusing behaviour/speech by others (though I think it's more of a smirk...)
3) Seeing my friends
4) Scenic views
5) Thinking of some memories
6) Receiving presents
7) Jonathan (how could I not include him? haha)

SE7EN ways to win my heart (right now):
1) Talk to me on the phone (haha...)
2) Go with me to some place random like er. Sentosa (haha... personal joke)
3) Make me laugh
4) Just spend time with me actually
5) Bring me to watch "Memoirs of a Geisha".
6) Buy me a stuffed toy.
7) Let me be part of your life..

Disclaimer: Please note that this part is really not that accurate... Yep.

SE7EN things I believe in:
1) God.
2) Jesus.
3) That I won't get a boyfriend before the end of the year. =p (this comment was due to Shao. haha.)
4) Solitude is both good and bad for me.
5) Outwardly, I'm crazy and don't make sense...
6) Inwardly, I know what I'm talking about and it does make sense.
7) Love is another double-edged sword, just like solitude.

SE7EN things I'm afraid of:
1) Losing people that I care for.
2) Others being able to read my mind...
3) Failure.
4) Letting some people enter my heart more than I'm willing to let them in.
5) That I'll sink into depression
6) Not knowing myself
7) That I'll hurt others

SE7EN things that I do everyday:
1) Sleep
2) SMS
3) Listen to my MP3
4) Live
5) Eat
6) Talk
7) Think

SE7EN people I want to see right now:
1) Gan Jie
2) Glo
3) Shao
4) Sammi
5) Someone.
6) Jonathan
7) Gloria Tan

SE7EN people who should also do this:
1) Glo
2) Renee
3) Gloria Tan
4) Sammie (if you haven't already done this...)
5) Joseph (if you haven't already done this...)
6) Delia
7) Isaac

Old videos

Hmm. Realized that I blog about my childhood/the past a lot. This entry is no exception. Parents were watching some videos taken in 2002. Lol. That was so interesting to see how I was like then.
Hmm. Try picturing this. Short. Like below, 150, i think? Short hair before my shoulder. Straight fringe. Spectacles (not much difference from now, though... haha). But anyway, seriously, I look so blur and "gong" as my dad put it. And my mum just added another adjective to describe me. "Nerdy"/"geeky"... Haha. But ya, it was just interesting to see the physical differences.
But as usual, after the physical comes the "internal body"... my character and personality. In Primary 5... Hmm. For that, should really ask my classmates then but when I think of primary 5, I split it into two halfs. The first half of the year when my studies were just hopeless and the second half of the year when my results improved dramatically and yet, I learned how to play more. Arcade. Friendship with Samantha. But that only covers me in school. Hmm. I guess "childish" would be the word to describe me. But I don't really use "childish" as a negative term, it's just an adjective. In a lot of ways, I was still like a child. Innocent. Easily satisfied with what life offered.
But now. Oh well. Enough of comparisons. I do too much of that. But if you want to compare, just think. Primary 5 compared to Secondary 3... Isn't it obvious how different I would be? But at times, I know there are quite a few similarities... After all, I still have the diary entries from then. =p Haha.

Unlike me... so unlike me.

Yes yes, I know the normal thing is to blog about school and all but don't feel like doing that, so too bad. =p Just want to blog about how my behaviour today was so unlike me...
Went chinese new year clothes shopping with my mum and her friend..
Far East Plaza. Mum had this idea of me in boots... Ok... And a denim dress... It was ok but I just had something against the pink collar... Anyway, mum was fixated on the idea of me buying new shoes and outfit so yes... got 2 pair of shoes... One's a slipper... Pink though. Yes kor, don't cringe... Then got a top that's pink and blue... Long sleeve collared shirt.. But yes. The thought of buying so much never occured to me... Especially not at Far East... Oh well... Shall comfort myself that it's due to CNY... But unfair, guys don't really need to dress up as much as girls. Pft... Haha.

2006 - Happy New Year!

Hmm. I guess it's normal to put one's New Year resolution/s on their blogs... But for me, I don't know. I haven't really put them down into words so whatever I'm going to type next is just the first things that come into my mind.

1) Do my TAWG regularly... at least every alternate day.
2) Improve my grades = no more slacking as much as Sec 1 and 2...
3) Complete at least the 2 disney jigsaw puzzles that I've bought but haven't done.
4) Learn to play the guitar (ok.. this was just random but since there's a guitar in my room, why not?)
5) Be more fit physically (benchmark: improve my 2.4 timing by a minute??)

Hmm.. That's all for now. Feeling too lazy to think of some more... Besides, it'll be nice if I even fulfil half of those resolutions. =p

Malaysia trip. Ups and downs. Literally?

I'll try to avoid making this entry about my trip to Malaysia a boring recount... But if it is, er.. sorry.

Long drive up to KL... Slept most of the time. In fact, as long as I'm in car for long enough, I'll fall asleep. =p Stayed at the malaysian equivalent of a condo. Loaned to my family by my uncle's friend. Did a lot of window shopping. Emphasis on "window". In fact, in this whole trip, I only bought 1 shirt. Not bad. But ya. KL was actually just going to malls and eating. Nothing special.

Hmm... Let me do a quick comparison of the views from each of my room's window.
Kuala Lumpur. I could see the Petronas tower and all the other towers. It was nicer at night with all the lights shining against the darkness.
Penang. Hmm... The ocean and the sky. The first day, I saw the view after sunset. The sky wasn't dark yet, instead it was filled with streaks of orange, red and pink. In the morning, the view would be just blue meeting blue. It was hard to separate the sky from the sea.
Now, which do you think I liked better? The answer would also be the answer to which place I preferred overall...

Penang. Was happier and had a chance to relive some of the past memories. The memories I had of my innocence. The butterfly farm, the fruit farm. Went there on a previous trip 3 years ago... Some things changed, some things stay the same. Even just being able to get butterflies onto my fingers long enough for a picture was so satisfying... Enjoying the view from the fruit farm as I ate my lunch which consist of fruits and ice kachang. =) Even things like these which don't cost much brought laughter to my face. But now, as I think about it, something's tugging inside me. Tears are about to fall. Cause I don't know how long it will be before I'm so happy again. Anyway, one more memorable part of my stay in Penang.

Para-sailing. Before trying it, I was dreaming about it, wanting to have that experience. But once I had the chance, I was fearful. Hesitant... Oh well, at least I did have that experience in the end. The real thrill is when you're taking two steps on the beach and in a few seconds, you find yourself up in the sky. Hmm. It was nice just enjoying the view from above... But yep... Doesn't feel right blogging about it so that's all...

In fact, I'm no longer in the mood to blog... But actually, this is all I want to blog about. So don't expect anymore entries on my trip. But if you have any questions about my trip, feel free to ask me, ok? That's all. Good night.

Remembering how to smile.

Ok... This entry will be completely random... Judging from the title and all.
The week after camp, no major changes or anything to the way i live my life but I know I tend to be happier and more light-hearted now. SP course, spending quality time with my mum (which involves training of muscles cos I had to help pack the house and was moving boxes up and down)... But ya. Was smiling and laughing quite often, no issues to weigh me down.. At least if I don't think about them. But since there's nothing to remind me of the issues, I was fine. The way I live became a nice routine. Business in the day. At night, just time to settle down and rest. Watching shows til 11, doing my TAWG, listening to music, randomly sending smses and falling asleep.

Highlight of the week: Friday and Saturday!
Went to orchard road to SALT people. The group I was in was supposed to stay at Far East Plaza. Hmm. A learning experience. Didn't noe that I was that thick-skinned but since it's for God, anything's possible. After that, went window-shopping and lost track of time... =p Oops? Had to rush for family cell x'mas dinner. Hmm... Ya.

Saturday, piano then went Jurong Point to shop for x'mas presents... Ah... I miss the arcade... Oops? Guilty. But ya. Bought presents then went home then went to church. Hmm... The part that I feel like mentioning is during service. We were sitting on the floor and I was amused by something. can't remember what. But anyway, it just hit me that I was happier than I've been in a long time. That amused smile that I always like. It's on my face more often. I think I know why... It's due to several things, events, people, situation... Oh well. Just wanted to say thanks. To those that place a smile on my face. And hmm... I hope I can keep smiling even when school term starts. But this time, I'm assured. I'm starting to think that I'll be fine. =)

Infused - Youth Camp 05

Ok... This is my second draft of my entry on church camp... Had some change in ideas and all so I've decided to rewrite everything. I don't think all those reading would be interested in a activity by activity recount so will blog about the things that touched my heart.

The first night's service: Defuse
Hmm... The sermon spoke to me about things that I didn't want to confront with for a long time. Anger, softening of my heart, sin... I guess it's time to be honest. Anger in my heart towards, him - my father. It's not easy typing it out but yes. After a talk with jeann on sat, I realize that though God spoke to me, it's still a struggle to let everything down. But on that night, it was a relief to cry out the tears that I've been waiting to release.

Hmm... Actually, for the second day's service... I was still dealing with the same issue though the sermon topic was different. But yes, it's hard to let go of something that's so complex. A burden that's been eating at me for so long. Then, there were the war games at night. Hmm... There were some things that I really enjoyed. The unity as a team... Even though we had to go against the other "army".

The third day's morning service: Infused for Impossibilities
Ezekiel 37 - The valley of dry bones.
Ouch. The emotional pain when I recalled the valleys in the past year. And I kind of had an idea of the valleys that I would encounter in the new year. Ouch. My heart can already feel the pain. Yet, God spoke to me and reminded me. There would not be any obstacle that I cannot handle. God would fill me with His Strenght.

Night service: Infused with God's mantle
The whole key point of the sermon or at least the part that impacted me most was dying to myself. Dying to myself. No, it's not a physical action. Rather, it's dying to my rights, my dreams, my ambitions. At first, before the service, I felt that there wasn't really anything that I held onto that dearly... Other than my parents and jonathan, of course. But God spoke to me and asked me, "Would I be willing to not take art as my humanities subject next year?" Ouch. I didn't realize that I held on to that decision, that choice so much. It hurt when I gave up my art lessons and it's always been a regret that I had to give it up. But now, when I could fulfil my dream again and now God's asking me to let it go. It hurt so much. I was holding on to it and took a well to let it go. Even now, if God says not to take art as one of my subject, I will give it up. Reluctantly. I admit. But I will. That really taught me how to give up something close to my heart. But yes, I still have to work hard to improve myself in that area. As you will realize if you read on...

The last day's sermon: Made for mission
I didn't really think I would be as touched by God that day but I was wrong. That shows why God's God. =) When we went for altar call, God spoke to me and gave me my answer to a question that I've been asking for a long time. How did I get into NUS High? My confidence level has been low this year so that question was really uppermost in my mind as some people know... But God answered me. It's because God chose me to be there. That's the reason why. It was by God's will that I got in. So it was really a relief to hear the answer.

Hmm... Due to time constraints, shall end the blog entry. But have you all realized? The entry's only about how God touched me. One or two more things I want to blog about. Dinner after camp and saturday... And lastly, I want to thank several people. Shall blog about it on my MSN space, most likely, ok? Good night.

quizzes... a break from entries

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/">What Are The Keys To Your Heart?