physical day

Ok. I just deleted last night's entry since it was really short and not as detailed as I want it to be. Slight problem here though. I want to do both a recount of my day and yet blog a bit deeper (as in blog about my feelings at certain point in times and so on)... I would normally just blog but after sammi kindly burst the nice illusion I have about people not reading my blog, I'm a bit reluctant to blog? Laadeedaa... Sammi, you just had to be always that honest, didn't you? Oh well. I'll start with recounting first... Then the rest, see how. But I'll be open enough to blog about my feelings on one of my blogs that's not my private blog so it's either this one or MSN space.

Cross-country cum 2.4km yesterday. Yes, to other schools, you all will probably find it unfair but hey, I'm not really complaining. It was at east coast park anyway. Niceness. Too bad I missed the sunrise... And didn't go down to the beach. But at least the view was nice when we ran. Anyway, feels rather accomplished in the fact that I improved for 2.4km by 1 minute. =) I'll attribute only a little of that to the view. I think it's the running with my mei which helped a lot. As in, trying to keep up with her alone could improve my timing already. Yeps. I think we kind of work well together. Considering that she can start off fast but get tired easily then I'll push her and then towards the end, she'll be the one pushing me. Yeps. I must learn how to sprint the last part though. Anyway, mei, you did well. So don't care about what your mum and or bro said, okies? For those who want to know my 2.4 timing, it's 13 minutes and 40 over seconds, I think. Considering most of you all are trackers or can run well, I know that's quite bad. But hey, that's your standard. Laadeedaa.

Next part of the day. The break between 2.4km and the racial harmony games. (I'm even mentioning the break?! How detailed am I being? ziah... Too much time now to blog so ya...) Anyway, I realized that I recover rather quickly. As in, I've haven't pushed myself that much before? Ever. For 2.4km the previous years, I get back to normal within maximum 15-20 minutes? As in, I was hyper after 2.4km as in the kind of -jumps around- hyperness. And the -i can run it all over again- kind of energy. Yeps. Which is why I always regret not pushing myself harder only after the run. zaih... Laadeedaa. After that, racial harmony games. For the year 3s, it was this time where your class forms a chain with your hands then one person from the opposing team would try to drag a person away from the chain into their side of the playing field. Yeps. Yayness. Our class actually won. Hmm. We can work rather well at times, I guess. But a bit too competitive. The strategy was good. Though similar to the other class, we reinforced the human chain so good defence and even better attacking. Rough and violent though. Anyway, because we won the preliminary round, we got to advance to the finals and each level faced off by competing to see who had the best timing for the station. Basically the station was "Extreme Gourmet", fear-factor style? Urk. Wrong choice of food item. Never mind, my stomach survived. Yeps. Prize-giving, etc...

Went back to school from East Coast Park. Direct bus. Yayness. Thanks kor for finding out where the busstop was. Like walk to VS then take. Yeps. Anyway, the 11 of us who were willing to go back to practice the dance took the bus together and went back to school. Ordered canadian pizza for everyone while on the bus and er... A bit of miscalculation in timing so the delivery guy had to wait about 10 minutes for us. -thinks about 2 siblings who decided to run back to sch- (Shaln't comment.) Anyway, we were eating the pizza and being amused by topping-full pizza slices and topping-less pizza slices. Taught the rest the couples part. Ya... So scandalous, right? Oh well. At least my partner's mei. =) Haha. Decided upon stage directions and positioning too. Basically, dancing became just sitting around and listening to music after a while? Then erm... A bit too much of pondering taking place? Yeps. Anyway, went back home at around 5:45. Really should get used to it, staying in school though I don't have to. Went home, bathed. (Finally...) Then went for lcell. The bus didn't like me so took 15 minutes to come which resulted in my being late and not having time for dinner. Disclaimer: I did eat in the end, ok? But at around 9:45? Heehee. Talked to mei for a while before reaching home. Blogged for a while then went to my room and finished up a book (reading a book while using handphone light is tiring cause need to keep the display screen active...). Couldn't sleep yet so took out my diary and started writing. By now, I turned on my study light already. Blocked the light for reaching my brother though. But anyway, dad came in to check on me so wasn't in the mood to continue writing and ended up talking to sammi on the phone. =p Laadeedaa. The conversation was let's see... A bit disturbing. Oh well, talking to her always serves as a nice reality check and she can have fun dismissing any illusions I have about stuff. And let's not forget her analyzing situations for me. Yeps. So fun. Yayness. Broke a record, i think. 3 hours. Yeps.

Ah. There. End of recounting already. Shall blog about certain stuff on my msn space or should I do it here? Urk.

Fine. May as well just blog here. Anyway, something happened in the course of yesterday that made me realized something. I rather not blog about what happened but anyway, it'll be fairly obvious to those who were with me yesterday. Sammi's right. When I get involved, I get involved too deeply. Urk... I want to go more in-depth and blog about the situation itself but I just can't, not with the knowledge that people do read this blog. At least, certain people do and that's enough to stop me from elaborating.

-bounces-

Hiya! I shall go hyper now. Actually, I shouldn't. If not, cannot sleep. And I told mei and kor that I'm sleeping early. But pft... Can't decided what to pack for tomorrow. To shower in school or not? Laadeedaa. Why am I blogging now ah? Anyway, shall actually bring water out tomorrow. -gasps- Normally, I don't. Actually if I do, I still don't normally drink but I'll be guai tomorrow, okie? So no need to force me to drink. Yeps. Why does this seem like I'm addressing certain people? -shrugs- Heehee. Yeps. Shaln't blog anymore. But today, school was weirdly fun. Yeps. Even though my own words were thrown back at me. -pouts- Haha. There there. Gdnight. Take care. Yeps.

Today

Today was interesting and thought-provoking.

I'll fast foward to mentoring session then. We've been doing the DISC personality test and analysing our results. I'll list some character traits of each type then you can have fun guessing what I am. (It's kind of obvious?)

D: Driven, direct, decisive, determined, dominant, etc... Basically, they're more of the leader in the group.

I: Inspiring, influencing, inducing, talkative, life of the party, etc...
Yeps. Life of the party, etc.

S: Stable, secure, shy, reluctant leader, etc...
Basically, think those people who give off security, etc.

C: control, correct, concise, compliant, etc...
It's like those who stick to the rules tightly, yeps.

Ok... I'm _ followed by _ then a bit of _. But there's one that I'm definitely not. I'll reveal that at the end. Anyway, it's quite accurate but one thing I realized is that I've not a lot of the weaknesses of the strongest personality types. Out of 7 or more weaknesses, only 2 apply to me. Disorganized, think with feelings/emotions... There was one weakness that's kind of a sore topic. More words than actions or in another form NATO (No action, talk only...) That's the weakness of -insert person- and because my mum mentioned my similarity to that person in terms of this trait, I've made a conscious effort to improve. But yes... I got a bit moodier as I realized how I have changed and how bad things were. Thanks mei. It meant quite a lot to me to have you beside me. Stopped me from being even more moody and I became happy & hyper. =) But yes, I was realizing how my two "siblings" have put in effort to make me smile when I'm down. Thanks.

Next, skipped Journalism and went for Choir instead. "We're all in this together" Anyway, it was ok... But I guess it's hard when your hyperness level is higher than most of the people there? But jiayou, okies? Especially for mei, nes and kor. We've gotten this far, let's continue persevering and doing our best. =) But yeps, the classroom time was a lot more fun?

Fyi, I'm I-S-C. Yeps.

Mood graph

It's been 4 days since I last blogged? Haiz. Been wanting to blog actually but was just too caught up with other stuff.

Anyway, as usual, I'll start off with a quick recount of the previous days. Then might blog in more detail about certain stuff?

Friday. No school and yet I found myself back in school from 12-5? Haha. But before that, went back to NYGH. -gasps- I actualy went back! (being too dramatic...) But yes, went back with Vanessa before going back to school. Had something like a sing-along session of high school musical? Before practicing the dance itself. Yeps. Very fun. And I think we drove Lux nuts. We referring to ... -drum rolls- Kor, Mei, Vanessa and myself. Yeps. Let's see. Practiced. Brainstormed on various aspects of the dance such as colour scheme, dressing, roles, etc... Fun-ness. =)

Saturday! Ohh. Watched pirates of the carribean with ... -drum rolls- same grp of people lah. =) Yeps. Had brunch at KFC before going to HMV at heeren and going a bit hyper. =p We shared a High School Musical DVD. Each one pay a bit. Haha. Yeps. Then rushed for the movie. Got hyper even before the movie started. x) Then after that, had to rush for church. (Rushing around too much...) Service was good, to be reminded of certain stuff that I've forgotten. Things that God spoke to me about before... Gave dinner a miss since I've been going out too much and was feeling a bit guilty so dinner with family.

Sunday. D&D followed by LCE. Not much that I want to blog about actually... Let's just say that day could have been better but never mind. Just various stuff combined together formed quite a bad combination.

Today. Hmm. Normal day, I guess... Oh, read through some of old blog entries again. Weirdness. Why do I keep reading the entries? Haiz. I think I know why. To remember the past. I still can't let it go. There's still this need in me to compare how things were and how things are. To look foward, that takes time. I do look foward but I do look back too. That's the problem.

Another thing... I've not been hyper enough, I think. Even right now, I'm not smiling. It takes a lot to make myself smile now. But there's one thing that almost never fails to bring a smile to my face nowadays... Let's just say the question, "How's school?" can make my whole face light up. That's good, isn't it? But at the same time, I wonder why my face doesn't light up anymore for other stuff... Pft. Enough of this mood. It's not really moodiness or depression or anything, ok... Just to set the record straight. But this weird kind of mood. Oh well. Laadeedaa. (You're right, haven't been using this expression much...)

weird questions

Name 11 people you can think of right now in your head.
After that tag at least 5 people to do this.

1. Renee
2. Samantha
3. Tian Cheng
4. Isaac
5. Hui Shi
6. Gloria
7. Shao Wen
8. Joseph
9. Jonathan
10. Sylvie
11. Bryan

1. How did you meet 10?
> Sylvie - Hmm. From school. But she was like my neofriend on neopets since a few years ago. lol. coincidence?

2.What would you do if you never met 2
> Samantha - I'll be sad cause life wouldn't be as fun and I'll lose one person to talk on the phone with.

3.What would you do if 9 and 11 dated?
> Jonathan and Bryan?! My brother and my ex-classmate?! Age difference aside, they're both guys! -faints-

4.Do you like 7?
> Shao Wen - Yeps. One of my kors (and the one that prob bullies me the most?) =)

5.would 5 and 6 make a good couple?
> Hui Shi and Gloria? Erm. Let's see. No! For one, their gender. That aside, personality-wise, almost no way.

6.Describe 3.
> Tian Cheng. Ohh. This is fun! He's my nice kor (yes, you're nice) who gets too influenced by his meis. Lol.

7.Do you think 8 is attractive?
> Joseph. Erm?! Personally, I don't think so. (no offence...)

8.Tell me something about 2.
> Samantha - The poems that she writes are nice to read.

9.Do you know any of 4's family?
> Nope. Unless you count his "sister" - mel. =p

10.Whats 5's favourite things?
> Hui Shi - quite a few.. But for starters, writing in notebooks, gushing over cute stuff or babies. Yeps

11.What would you do if 3 confesses he/she likes you?
> Tian Cheng - I'll probably be stunned. In fact, I'll be stunned regardless who it is.

12.What language does 6 speak?
> Gloria - English, Chinese. Can't remember if there's any other language/dialect...

13.Who is 9 going out with?
> Jonathan - My bro's like not even 6 years old?!

14. How old is 8 now?
> Joseph - 15+ years

15.When was the last time you talked to 1?
> Renee - Today. (duh!) At around 5:30pm when I said "Bye". Lol.

16.What is 2's favourite band/singer?
> Samantha - Hmm. No particular favourite if I remember correctly. Various singers and bands.

17.Would you ever date 7?
> Shao Wen - Nope. She's my kor! (ah... the contradiction)

18.Would you ever date 11?
> Bryan - Nope.

19. Have you ever seen 2 naked?
> Samantha - Duh, no.

5 People whom you want to pass this on to
Samantha
Tian Cheng
Hui Shi
Bryan
Joseph

That's all for now... Shall blog again later.

hyper-ness!

Yayness! I'm getting a bit too hyper?! Haha. Anyway, today was great. =) Skipped journalism and went for choir instead. Ohh well. It was so fun doing the dance for "We're all in this together". *coughs* sashay! *coughs* Haha. But ya... -bounces- Too bad kor and mei had to leave early. Anyway, this entry is to tell you two that I won't b online when you all reach home cause I'm be watching HSM on the other computer and that one has no internet connection. You two sleep early, ok? -pointed look at kor- Mei's been rather guai, been slping earlier than me. But that's cause I stay up to read the books I've borrowed. Let's see. Think I'll sleep relatively earlier today. Yeps. Sms me or smth. Up 2 you two. Anyway kor, you need to reteach the wildcats part. Me and vanessa could barely remember that part. But she just got it by watching the video... Where's the video? Lol. Doesn't matter. You can teach us. =) That's all. -weirdness- This entry has like become a short letter to you two. Yeps. Oh well... Saves sms, doesn't it?

Urk.

Pft. Spent close to 1 hour doing weird quizzes and fixing the html codes of the results and then my internet connection went hay-wire and I couldn't publish my entry. Greatness. I shall repeat 2 quizzes only. Sighs.


You Are Snow White!

Pure and trusting. You are a gentle soul who can get along with just about anyone. Everyone you meet instantly falls in love with you. How can they resist? You have a pure, lovable nature that's irresistable. Just don't trust everyone that comes across your path.
Which Disney Princess Are You?

Lycanthrope
Your a lycanthrope: a werecreature, a shifter, a werewolf. You have a strang dual-nature but you are a loyal and protective person. You thrive during in-between times: dawn and dust, when the veils of the world are thinest. You stick close to your family and friends though you often steal off on your own. You are rather mysterious and have a secret side that most don't know about.


Losing It Occasionally




You are quite a bit on the uber-excitable side. You have no probelm freaking out in public, though this does not happen TOO often. You get excited over simple things and sometimes situations can get the best of you. However, you do have -some- level of self-control over yourself. Sugar contributes to your 'condition'.
How Excitable Are You?


Water!

Water is also a bit of a bipolar element.
While necessary for life, it can take lives. Drown, you die, but drink, you live.
it's a fascinating concept.
Those of the water element are usually passive, but when angered can strike quickly. You should not be underestimated. For the most part, you may appear to be quiet and calm, but on the inside, you could be boiling.
You may have problems controlling and hiding your emotions. This is okay.
Just a tip: don't be so quick to anger. Try and control your anger. Don't be so quick to boil. Keep your cool ALL the time.
What element best decribes you?

Done with the quizzes. =) I shaln't analyse each result, can't be bothered. But I'm happy that my element's still water. =)

weekend

Hmm... I was thinking of editing the high school musical entry but eventually, I just decided to continue blogging about friday and all in this entry instead. Yeps.

Friday was fun! To be more precise, the day became very nice and enjoyable after we finished the math bridging module. A few of us stayed back in school to practice the choreography for "We're all in this together". =) Yeps. Thank you kor for figuring out the steps and teaching us. But before that, we were singing along to the soundtrack. I think Lu Xin was surprised at how 4 of us (Kor, Mei, Vanessa and I) knew the lyrics to every single song? Really relaxing and lots of fun! Sorry to gan jie, shao, glo... Heehee. Didn't meet up with you all. Anyway, practicing the moves were fun and all. We even showed Dr Wong and Ms Flo the dance. Yeps. And took advantage of the air-con in the staffroom. =) Ohh! I get to skip Journalism to go for Choir practice this wednesday. After that, we left the school at around 4. Wow. I didn't expect to stay in school for so long. Went to Jurong Regional Library. Ah, my weekly visit to that place. =) Went a bit crazy borrowing books. -pokes kor- Haha. I really should control myself and not borrow almost every single book that looks interesting. Wanted to stay longer but had to rush home and change before going for dinner. So went home and left my house within 15 minutes. New record for me, I think. Went Macs and met up with pple from Lcell. Yeps. Then went to church for Lcell. Ohh. Power Base is nice! Comfy sofas. =) Ohh... Talked to Mei on the way home from church. We ended up singing songs from HSM over the phone?!

Anyway, saturday... Slept in til 11 or so. Then did a bit of homework and read quite a bit. After that, the inevitable dolling-up session. Haiz. My mum's enjoying herself, that's for sure. Had to attend the wedding dinner of my godma's auntie's son... Go figure that out? Haha. Anyway, left the house early so walked around Far East a bit before going to the Hyatt. Ok... The next part of my entry would tell you how "much" exposure to such a situation. Ok... Had to wear a dress and erm... a choker? But I kind of understood why when we entered the hotel. It's like WHOA! Especially when I saw the other guests and all. Think glamour and elegance all around. Didn't know anyone so just followed my mum around... Why does everyone seem to recognize me and I can't recognize them? With the sole exception of my godma and her auntie, of course. (I'm not that bad... Remembered them.) Anyway, the most common comment of the day "Ohh, your daughter so tall. She was so small when i last saw her. So pretty." Uhhuh... Right. -cringe- Anyway, my mum was jokingly asking my godma's auntie's daughter whether I could become an SQ stewardess... 0.0 Oh yes. It seems to run in their family that most of the girls are/were SQ stewardess. That tells you how tall and pretty they are. Yeps. Haha. Anyway, during dinner, I was the youngest at the table (duh!) so was being fed and everyone insisted on me eating more? Like even a stranger sitting next to me was scooping food onto my plate? Anyway, the last course was served 11 plus so reached home only at 12 plus... Then parents went to sleep and erm... took that opportunity to stay up and read. My excuse for staying up? Had to wait for my hair to dry before sleeping... Ya, right. Lol. Anyway, smsed like 3 pple and didn't really expect any replies but 2 of them replied. Anyway, finished 1 book and decided to start on another book and erm... Ended up sleeping at 3. Heehee. So much for slping soon? Heehee. Don't kill me, ok? Anyway, I woke up close to noon today so ya... More than enough sleep.

Hmm. Oh ya, I realized that there's an excessive mention of Kor and Mei in each of my blog entries? Haha. And on the bus, I kept mentioning Mei to my mum. Tsk myself. Mei, get home soon... I'm like blogging and doing other stuff while waiting for your phone call. Lol. Haha. Then can get hyper over HSM! =)

High School Musical

Yayness! Anyway, the title's of this entry is High School Musical. Yeps. It'll seem weird if I just jump straight into gushing on about the soundtrack if I don't mention the title. Anyway, thanks Kor for the soundtrack! =) (Hmm... Been thanking you a lot for the soundtrack. Not allowed to sigh, ok? Lol) But yeps. The songs are nice! -gushes- And it's fun to sing it together with Mei!! But ya. The lyrics are of course always stuck in my head nowadays. Ohh... I must catch up to Kor and Mei. They almost memorized all the lyrics already. Haha. All 3 of us have been listening to it excessively, have we not? And the show... Hmm. The choreography's not bad. Nice to watch along with the songs. -hints- Wants to watch it again... Lol. Got to go now... Yeps.

music

Music. It's become more and more important to me these few years. Music not just in terms of me playing the piano but also songs...
Anyway, piano lesson started of as letting me have a try and it went on from Primary 2 til now. Hmm. At first, it was a routine to practice and get the stickers then my attitude deproved, I guess? But recently, last year, the piano became an outlet to release my emotions. Hmm. The few times that I cried while playing the piano. Ok. Just realized something freaky... I seem to be missing those times of tears. Not good. Weirdness... But now, all the memories come flooding back. Times when I could be doing something with tears just streaming now. Haiz? Back to music... Hmm. Anyway, love the fact that I have a piano I can call my own. -hugs the piano- Lol.
Next, songs... Hmm. I've already blogged about how I grew up with Disney songs. But just listening to songs in general is something I've also grown used to. Childhood days, my mum singing to me as I fall asleep. Currently, my having to listento my MP3 player before I fall asleep. Anywhere I go, I have to bring my MP3 player along... And not forgetting my having to play some songs while I'm using the computer or reading. Maybe it's cause I cannot stand prolonged silence but having music play in the background is really calming and relaxingl. That's why I always enjoyed this particular situation. Me being in my room, lying on my bed with the aircon on, reading a good book with music playing in the background. Strange how the busier I get, the more I am able to find time for such a situation. =) I think that's enough blogging for today. Ohh. I enjoy changing the songs in my MP3 player but I just realized that there's a severe lack of new songs lately. Oh well... -hints-

relapse

If I remembered correctly, my current blogskin doesn't show the title of each entry... Oh well, out of point.

Finished reading "The Tenth Circle" by Jodi Picoult today. Some memories came and "haunted" me but considering that I didn't break down or anything, that's good, right? Hmm. Anyway, was watching disc 15 & 16 of "Top of the Forbidden City". Still trying to figure out why my cheeks were a bit damp during the show... Is it because I was moved by the show or was there more to those tears? Hmm. It wasn't like I became moody or anything but rather this mood that I always can't seem to describe. It's not a positive emotion cause I can't seem to smile but it's not negative either cause I'm not crying... It's in between. But still... Haiz. I'm in this weird mood quite a lot this few days. Oh well. Never mind...

start of something new?

Hmm. There's the urge to blog about the previous few days since it's become a habit but I've not been in the mood to blog so I think I'll make this entry really short. And I'll not elaborate on most things. Yeps.

Thursday
O levels Chinese Oral. New town secondary school. Piano lesson.

Friday
Youth Day celebration. Kor. Mei. Irritation. Rising of flag. Jurong Entertainment Centre. Pizza Hut. Being bullied. Library. Accomplishment. Influence.

Saturday
Nanyang funfair. Mistaken identity. Scandals. High school musical. Pasta. Meteorite. Presents. Sylvester. Dinner. Mad Jack. Issues. Island Creamery. Stoning. Waiting.

Hmm... Haven't blogged like that before. But ya, some of it makes a lot of sense while other things... you need to be there to know what I'm talking about. Lol. Never mind. Satisfied. I've blogged while not having to elaborate. Got to go to church soon for "Shout your fame". Pft. Renee can't go. -sulks-

Disney

Ok... There's seiously a lack of time for me to blog before I'm chased off the computer but I've been wanting to blog about about Disney ever since getting the soundtrack of Bambi 2 on Monday. (Thanks again. Lol.) But anyway, listening to the songs and just enjoying it made me remember of the past when Disney songs were like the only kind of songs that I knew of and could memorized the lyrics to quite a few. Hmm.
Shall do a quick summary of how I got introduced to Disney and how it kind of became part of me? Not just the songs, but some of the shows too. But more of songs actually... When I was young, as in like primary 1 or 2, Snow White was the first Disney film I watched. Then the list just continue... Various disney shows. But I like the songs a lot more, I guess. Hmm. The 3 CD "Disney Forever" collection from young... Ahh. It's probably around 7 years old? I remember how I used to replay the first few tracks of a certain CD a few times cause those were my favourites and began to memorize the lyrics (not on purpose...) Anyway, Disney soundtracks were mainly what I listened to and almost never heard pop songs... Seriously. Like my first real impression of pop songs were in primary 4. One song only. "My love" by Westlife... Out of point. Back to the topic at hand. Even now, though I listened to more songs, there's still a folder labelled "Disney" in my MP3 player, filled with several of my favourite songs... Mostly, I like them because of the lyrics but at other times, just the song in general. Been wanting to do a list of my favourite Disney songs and here goes... (not in any order.)

1) I won't say (I'm in love) - Hercules
2) If I never knew you - Pocahontas
3) Just around the riverbend - Pocahontas
4) Shooting star - Hercules
5) Reflections - Mulan
6) Can you feel the love tonight? - The Lion King
7) A whole new world - Aladdin
8) Beauty and the beast - Beauty and the Beast
9) Go the distance - Hercules
10) God help the outcasts - The Hunchback of Notre Dame
11) Part of your world - The Little Mermaid
12) Something there - Beauty and the Beast
13) There is life - Bambi 2
14) You'll be in my heart - Tarzan

Yeps... Don't think that's it but it shall do for now. Anyway, another short (?) list of favourite songs that's not from Disney but rather, animated films. Just produced by the other companies...

1) At the beginning - Anastasia
2) Journey to the past - Anastasia
3) Looking through your eyes - Quest for Camelot
4) The prayer - Quest for Camelot
5) On my father's wings - Quest for Camelot

Getting chased off the computer now so bye.

first day of the new term

Hmm... Today was kind of different. PE first thing in the morning.
-cringe- Somehow, I almost blacked out... Nausea. Felt kind of disoriented and all. And it was like that went on for about 1 hr after running, which is kind of disturbing... Pft. Anyway, the rest of the day was ok. Ack. Module clash again. But more expected this time. Music theory or 3D art? Shall have to decide soon. Ohh! Got Bambi 2 soundtrack today! -jumps- Yayness. Thanks kor. Anyway, listening and enjoying the soundtrack made me think of my childhood obsession with Disney (that's still kind of exists). Lol. Hmm. Disney. The songs especially accompanied me through my childhood, all the way til upper primary. Even now, some songs are just really really nice and lift up my mood. =) I want to do a longer entry on Disney and all... But due to time constraints (guilty conscience of using the computer and tiredness), shall stop here for today. Maybe tomorrow? On a side-note: Is it a wise idea to dump 9 library books in my new bag? Not including school stuff... Haiz. Heavy bag tomorrow...

coffee bean

Hmm... Time for another blog entry, I guess. A short one about yesterday and maybe today? -sniffs-

Met up with Sister Serena for lunch @ macs, talked to her, went to church. Service. For me, it was more of a reinforcement of things raised up during the conference... Went to Holland Village to wait for sammi. Oh well. Bad hearing. Thought she said meet at 5:30 but it was actually she'll leave her friend's hse at 5:30. So I was stoning outside Delifrance when I saw people from church. Heehee. Was supposed to have dinner as a section but i skipped. But still ended up seeing them at Holland V. Joined them while waiting for sammi. Stole a bit of food from jeann and then wandered around holland v with sammi. Wasn't sure what to do then I was random enough to suggest watching a movie but oh well, didn't cause of some reasons. Ended up at Coffee Bean. Nice comfy chairs! =) Bought something else other than my normal... For once. Blackforest. Only realized when I started drinking that it contained coffee. (yes yes, that was slow...) But not bad. Talked to sammi for about 2 hours there. Hmm... Made my way back home. And I'm too nice to sammi. Lol. Can't say no to her. Ended up staying awake til 2am... Haiz?! I blame it on the coffee. Lol. I wasn't tired til around that time... Which is unusual..

Today. A lot of lazing around the house. Yay. Watched another 2 disc of <>! Haiz. School starting tomorrow. Don't really dread it but don't look foward to it either? -shrugs- Hmm, High School Musical starting in 15 minutes or so? Shall go be a couch potato for the next 2 hrs... That's all then.

realizations...

The last time I blogged was 5 days ago. So many things have changed in such a short time. Things changing not really referring to situations and all but rather more of something inside of me.

Memories. Snapshots of past times. Most of the stuff that I've been wanting to blog about concerned these few things. Don't really know how to start blogging. My thoughts are still rather disorganized. And trying to blog using chronological order doesn't work. Hmm... Ok. Let me just do a quick recount of the previous days first then work on that. Been spending most of the time in church from wednesday to friday because of Life Conference. It's been refreshing. Just like how I didn't want last year IGNYTE conference in June to end, I didn't want it to end. Not yet anyway.

I haven't even touched on what I've wanted to blog about. Haiz. Ok. Hmm. There's been so many times where various sceneshots from the past just fill my mind. And it's almost always the same few... I feel like blogging about some of them. The one that's rather interesting is one in which I was at the balcony in Nanyang last year. Time for a quick explanation for those who don't really understand what I'm talking about. Last year in nanyang, our class had a balcony and I would retreat there quite a fair bit. Yes, note the usage of the word "retreat"... Anyway, I think I've cried a fair bit out on the balcony. But there's this time that keeps flashing through my head. I was feeling rather down and all. Looking at the sky and singing Christian songs just to let it all out? At that time, sadness and all was really all I felt. But right now, as I look back to those times at the balcony, I miss it so so much. It's been quite a while since I turned to God with such desperation... And other than that, that time was just a retreat, just like how Sentosa became a retreat too...

There are of course a few other snapshots from the past that kept going through my head during Life Conference. The other one was from DL days... I can't remember the time and all but I do remember just crying at the altar and Pastor Priscilla was there praying for me and my mum came over and hugged me. Haiz... I have a fairly good idea what I was crying about. Oh well... That sceneshot coupled with the singing of a song from DL days made me think about how it's been in church the past few years. Things have changed... A lot. Internal and external.

Other things have been triggering off various memories and sceneshots. A lot of stuff and a lot of memories... Even that day when I was packing my cupboard and making it neater, folding the clothes could bring me back to the past. Certain pieces of clothes mean quite a lot to me. One reason why I'm reluctant to throw some of it away.

Enough about memories and all though. A bit more about Life conference. It's been good. The issues that God spoke to me about were what I've been avoiding. The same few things... There are always images that go through my head a lot, either sceneshots from the past or just images. It used to be that of a rope almost cut into two pieces and was just being held together by a few strands of thread and a few other images which I rather not blog about. It's changed... During altar call, some images came into my head. Situations that I didn't think about before, situations I would not have thought possible... Well. It's time to believe, isn't it? I want those images to come true. I believe they will, one day.

stuff...

Urk. I'm being forgetful. -pokes myself- Like forgetting to change my MSN nickname. Oh well. Not many people noticed so it's ok. =) Other than gan jie... Haiz? Expected. Never mind. Only blogging here right now cause I refuse to let myself blog the 3rd entry of the day on my private blog. 2 entries are more than enough... (Ya. As if.) Laadeedaa... Urk. It's hard to blog on this blog since it's my so-called public blog... But the best part of this whole situation is that I can't really tell what's bothering me. I can't even say that I'm moody. I'm just not happy. That's all... Haiz. This entry doesn't make much sense. Don't worry. It's not just you. Even I don't fully understand why and what I'm blogging.

malaysia... once more.

Hiya. Back from a 3 day trip to Malaysia once again... Wasn't really expecting that much from the trip but as usual, kind of proven wrong.

16th Jun, Friday
Early wake-up call. -cringe- 4+ am? Left the house, met with relatives at their house, drove up to Genting with one break in between. Lunch. Walked around. Took a few rides. Rofl. Laadeedaa. Erm.. Sat on the merry-go-round with my bro and cousins? Haha. Got chased off the nice horse by the guy in charge. -sniffs- Ohh. Candy floss! Haha. The sad thing was there wasn't time for the outdoor theme park so was confined indoors. It was raining! Nice weather... Uncle asked if I wanted to walk around -in the rain-... Heehee. I wanted to but oh well... I think I'll get dragged back indoors? Drove to the hotel to check in. Had a rather late dinner before heading back to the hotel room to sleep. Ohh. Did I mention that my mum was nice enough to let me bring doggie along? Hmm. Not big doggie but the medium size one. -hugs- Yeps. Had to sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag but I'm used to it already so it wasn't that bad?

17th Jun, Saturday
Woke up at 7 plus, went down for breakfast... Oh yes, interesting name of the cafe. The hotel I stayed in was Hotel Nova and erm... the cafe was like Casanova cafe? Yeps. After breakfast, get ready to go Sunway Lagoon. Whee! Ok... Let me first state that it was my first time to Sunway Lagoon so erm... Excessive hyperness? Haha. Went there and was waiting for my uncle at the lift lobby and erm... saw this whole group of guys streaming out of the lift. Let's see. When some of them were wearing t-shirts with their school name or house name on it, it gets really obvious which school they're from. Yes, it's a school in Singapore. Which one? Go guess... Anyway, my mum had fun teasing me so ya... Good thing they walked away soon after. (Haiz. If only that was the last time I saw them...) Uhhuh. Went to sunway lagoon. -feels accomplished- Haha. Helped my dad to get the tickets before hand so didn't have to queue up. Some people shouldn't all crowd together and block the way... Laadeedaa. Let's see. Was getting hyper over the rides.. Couldn't wait to start trying out the rides but had to play with my brother and cousins first. Yayness... Ok. There's this really nice ride that I like. Dragged my mum along to try it at first. It's the one where you slide head-first down on a mat. I can't really describe it but it's fun cause there's water involved! Yeps. Won my mum. =) Then she convinced my dad to try... Let's see. Pft. I lost to my dad... Like he reached the bottom before me and he went further too. So I was like "whining" and "sulking" away as I walked away from the ride. Childish, I know. But it was fun. Played the ride twice more. Lost both times to my dad again. Haiz. 3-0. Oh yes, it's really interesting to see how people get addicted to the ride. I couldn't really see faces clearly cause I took off my specs so I recognize strangers by their clothes? Haha. To be really specific, their berms/shorts/etc... (It's a water theme park. What do you expect?) Oh well. Like... "Doesn't that pair of black bermudas look familiar?" Was highly amused myself. Rest of the rides are ok... The Python failed to meet expectations. Not thrilling enough. The other ride was ok... Hmm. It started raining so had to head to shelter. But since the rain didn't seem to stop, we decided to just rush to the shopping mall. Had late lunch. KFC. Walked around with my mum. I declare that she likes to tease me. Example: "I think I just saw some -insert name of school- guys walking around?" Like huh?! Ohh. Went to this shop with relatively nice bags... And finally bought one! Whee! -jumps up and down- Finally have a new school bag. I've been really picky... Oh well. But yes, no more sling-bag to school. -sniffs- Oh well, never mind. I like my new bag! Anyway, went to this comic shop and there was this offer on chinese books so erm... bought 4 novels? Yes, they're all in Chinese. Had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. But yes, couldn't resist. Went back to the hotel, bathe, eat dinner. Mum wanted to walk around but since everyone else was tired, only we went. We wanted to go to this specific street but wasn't too sure how to get there. Reached there anyway. 20 minutes of walking. Not bad. Browsed around. Nothing much... Wanted to buy gifts for kor and mei but nothing suitable. So sorry. Walked back to the hotel. Bought supper! -slurps- Ramly burger... Ate in the hotel room. Went to sleep...

18th Jun, Sunday
Woke up really grumpy and grounchy. Left eyelid was slightly swollen + severe lack of sleep. (Didn't sleep well the last night. Woke up a few times...) Skipped breakfast. Got woke up again. Checked out of the hotel. Drove to Malacca for lunch. Yay! Nyonya chendol. Sweetness. =) Yes, I have a sweet tooth. Drove back home, etc, etc... Oh yes. Was playing a game with my mum to keep us awake during the drive back home. A-Z list of guys' name... Haha. Amusement. Yeps. Pft. Some letters really hard to come up with names. Shall leave it at that. Yeps. Shall go to bed soon. Miss my bed and big doggie. -hugs-

sleepless night

This entry will probably be really confusing and the content would be highly disorganized and all over the place, so sorry in advance. Here goes...

Couldn't sleep at all last night so became really restless. (Can't believe that I can blog about not being able to sleep...) Oh well. Anyway, went to bed at around 11:20 with my mp3 player on (as usual...) and just listened to the few new songs in the player. At 11:40, realized that I was not going to doze off that soon so sent out 1 sms. Hmm. No response so I ended up amusing myself by trying to write in my diary in the dark. Sat on my nice chair and was trying to write properly and all. But since the only light source was from the lights in the corridor outside which shone through my window, it wasn't that effective. Anyway, made a list of things that I wanted to blog about...

This list came about when I was being restless and my mind started drifting and thinking about various things... Topics ranging from the realization that this blog hasn't seen a moody/angsty entry in quite some time and the reason behind that to like things that I want to get, etc... Oh well. Let's see if I can remember all 6 things that I wanted to blog about.
1) The lack of moody/angsty entries in this blog (filtering?) and the reason behind it
2) Family?
3) Things that I want to get
4-6) I rather not put it down into words for you all to read?

Shall blog a bit on the things I thought about last night before resuming the recount on the 2+ hours before I finally settled down enough to sleep. Hmm... I've realized that many a times, I just blog about interesting events in my day and all. After reading through all my blog entries yesterday, it's really interesting to see the change in mood and content of the entries. Last year was really too much angst and moodiness. This year, I'm glad it's a lot more light-hearted and all but I've realized that's only cause I think I'm filtering a lot of stuff. I either blog about the issues in really vague terms or I just avoid it totally. Normally, I would turn to my MSN space or even my private blog about issues and all but I think I've been avoiding the problem/s and all. Last night/this morning was really just me being super restless and thinking quite a bit about stuff. Ohh, this might sound weird but I just feel like blogging honestly without any filtering so ya... Just lying on my bed and listening to my mp3 player somehow triggered off something in me. I wanted to cry. I almost did too, I think. But ya... That was just weird. Haiz.

Oh yes, I shall try to find a nice blogskin and edit my profile/wishlst. But that might take a while. Considering how picky I am when it comes to blogskins. -shrugs-

Ok... Anyway, back to my recount of how I was restless and couldn't sleep. Ended up doing sit-ups and stretching exercises on my bed. Yeps. Was that bored. I wanted to write/blog at that moment but couldn't since it'll wake my parents up so resorted to doing those activities. Then still couldn't sleep. By then, should have been close to 1. Sent yet another sms. Hmm. Decided to like sleep upside-down. As in just reverse direction. Placed my pillow on the other end of the bed. Oh well, proves that I'm weird. The things I do when I can't sleep. After listening to more songs on my player and thinking of random stuff, smsed a bit and finally went to sleep. Whew. That was irritating, ok? Like from 11:20pm - 2am, wanting to sleep but just couldn't. Haiz?! Ok... -pinch myself- I'm not dreaming. I just blogged another entry on how I couldn't sleep and the things I did. And it hasn't been that long since I had a similar entry. Oh well. Pft.

Shall go and watch my nice nice show and gush/swoon/squeal over the characters? Haha. Doubt so but never mind. Just remembered that I still haven't packed my bag for the trip. Fyi, for those who don't know, I'll be going Malaysia from tomorrow morning til like Sunday night. Sighs. Not bringing my handphone so won't b able to contact me. Yeps. Haiz... I'm feeling rather sleepy now. Hmm. Maybe shouldn't watch my show and just play the piano or something? Let's see... Decide later. Time to end the blog entry. Bye! Will miss you all when I'm in malaysia. =)

Going out...

Hmm. As usual, I'll just be blogging about the previous days, including today. I think I'll not bother blogging about the weekend much since it was rather normal other than erm... getting roped in by my relatives to play mahjong. Yeps. Then sunday, usual. Too bad it was raining so couldn't swim.

Yesterday, went to watch "She's the man" with Renee and Mel at Cineleisure. Then went heeren before meeting Isaac at City Hall. Lunch, walking around Suntec, going to J8, just sitting down there and stoning + a bit of chatting... Ohh... Yayness! More or less figured out what I'm going to get at Jigsaw Puzzle World (finally...). Anyway, since my mum kind of agree to let me spend $200 there, it was kind of hard to decide what to get and all but yeps. Eye-ing one of those puzzles with a rather mystical feel. Bonus: there's a dolphin in the picture of that puzzle. The sad thing is too much of the money would be spent on frames for the various puzzles that I have... Oh well.

Hmm. Today. Had to run some errands at Raffles Place. Met kor for lunch. Then after that, went Jurong library and tried to find nice books. Couldn't really find anything nice to read. Came home, read a while then talked to mei on the phone. Dinner. Mum got a bit upset at me over a certain issue so things were rather tense. Was trying to calm myself down and relax by playing songs on the piano. Yay! Now have the piano score for "At the beginning". Thanks kor. =) Hmm... Anyway, I realized playing the piano has become a form of relaxation and at times, a way to let out my frustrations and just release my emotions.

~ Things have changed in unexpected ways ~
~ Why is it we never see things til they're right in front of our eyes?~
(Lol. Reminds me of how things were before lunch... Mos burger. Lol. But not only that...)

simple things that make me smile

~Why does everything seem to remind me of the same things over and over again?~

Went to shao's house yesterday to just laze around. Played with the dogs as usual, watched Saw 2, went to her room and helped her with her jigsaw puzzle and used the computer for a while. Hmm... I did become a bit reflective at certain points in time. Don't really feel like blogging much about it right now but maybe later on in this entry. After that, went to watch "Cars" with my mum and Jonathan. Didn't really expect much from the show at first but as usual, I'm proven wrong... Though it's cliched and all, it reminded me of some things. And after that, I went a bit hyper. Was saying "Ka-ching" a lot... =)

Yesterday was just lazing at home the whole day. Bought a new chinese series a few days ago so was just watching it "marathon-style". 3-4 discs non-stop. And was really freaking myself out too. For those who've seen me hyper, imagine me more hyper by many more levels. I was erm... making random noises, criticizing the characters (as usual), venting out my frustration on whatever was nearby. Heehee... Basically, really crazy and hyper. And erm, add gushing/swooning/squealing over the characters to the picture. Oops? Haha. Me swooning and squealing is really scary. Trust me. I should know. But ya... Whee! Qing Tian and Tian Xie! Haha... Those are the names of the 2 main characters. Poor Renee. Had to put up with me for a while over the phone. Thanks. =)

Ok. I'll blog about some of the things that I thought about at shao's house. Interesting how Saw 2 can make me think of certain things. Do we only value things/people more when we know that we're about to lose them? Oh. And in her room, helping her with the jigsaw puzzle, I really enjoy such times. Simplicity. Oh well. Anyway, "Cars" also reminded me of the same thing over and over again. Sighs. I'm not really going to spell out what I was reminded of but yes... The first line in my entry sums it out, I guess.

~learning to enjoy the simple things in life...~

More "scandalous" incidents...

Laadeedaa. Finally blogging about last week and stuff. Whee! Friday! =) Went out with hui shi, zheng xuan, adwyn and bryan. McDonalds' hotcakes are nice! -slurps- bryan is evil... he was tempting me with that pack of pure sugar. Pft. Me didn't want to go all hyper so ya... Watched poseidon again then after that, walked around a bit, met up with isaac. Pool! =) Then met up with hui shi, they all again. Neoprints. -gushes- the dolphins at Action City are so adorable!
-squeals- I want! Haha. Nah. Just kidding. Have a dolphin at home already but those are just a lot more huggable. -hugs- Ok... I think I'm getting a bit high. Lcell. Back home. -whew- Was worried about mum scolding me for watching poseidon again but well, she didn't say much.

Saturday! Renee came to church! -jumps- Whee! Finally... Anyway, she finally had a chance to meet Mel. Pft. I was bullied again. I want to watch Sky High! Pft... Anyway, the whole day was fun cause Renee came to church! =) (now i think i know why you pple think I'm les... rofl.) Anyway, went for dinner with Renee at Mad Jack. The food's ok... Oh ya, Island Creamery! -slurps- Ice Cream! Ok... I think I'm getting addicted to the ice cream. Too bad Renee had to leave at 8 plus so for the first time in a long while, I actually reached home before 10 on Saturday.

Skip Sunday and Monday. Not that much to blog about really... Ohh... The fun part. Today! Elmi Jie Jie's ROM! =) Anyway, let's do a chronological recap of the day. Woke up at 12. -smiles- Finally slept in for once during the holidays. Lazed around the house before going over to auntie's house with all the clothes and all. Lazed around til 3 before changing and all. Pft. Why is it so fun to doll me up? My mum and auntie seem to enjoy experimenting on me. Make-up, hair, etc... Whew. Good thing elmi jie jie steps in at times.Went to Hark Music Cafe... It's basically a cafe so ya. Might seem weird to hold the ROM there but it suits my cousin since she's musically-inclined and all. The whole thing was quite ok. =) Finally see elmi jie jie getting married! Hmm.. Still have the wedding dinner at the end of the year though. Haha. I'll be more busy then. Btw, new word: flower-maid. It's combination of flower-girl and bridesmaid. Lol. Ya... Hmm. That's about it for now. Feeling a bit sleepy... My sleep hours are upside-down again.

Holidays

Yayness! It's the start of the holidays... Anyway, there are quite a lot of things that I want to blog about and it feels weird to blog about everything in one entry since the mood of each topic is really different. Let's start off with the first two days of the holidays. First two days referring to Monday and Tuesday. Had to wake up early for Parent-Teacher meeting. -cringe?- Ok... It wasn't as bad as what I expected. CAP of 3.75... Sighs. To be really honest, I guess I'm aiming for a CAP of 4 next semester. It means I'll have to work a lot harder and all. We shall see... But ya, there are a few subjects I'm happy about and others that I feel need improvement. After PTM was some chinese lesson to help prepare for O-levels. But we ended up just chatting away about our marks and all... After that, went with Renee, Vanessa and Tian Cheng to JE entertainment for lunch. Lunch was amusing and we ended up just sitting at the foodcourt and talking for quite a while even after we finished our food and dessert. =) Then someone had to mention something about neoprints so off we went to take neoprints. Yayness! It was funny! Anyway, we went around walking and erm... I got a bit high on Lychee Ice? So haha... Then Renee and Tian Cheng both tried a bit of the drink and let's just say Lychee Ice blended is probably the most effective drink if you want to get high? Lol. Yeps. Took the bus home and was freaking Renee out. Too bad I had to stop before them.

Tuesday. SMO. Urk. The only time I really enjoyed taking part in SMO was like in Primary 6. Miss Advance Math... Even if I was like the only girl and had to put up with erm... competitive guys? Haha. But ya... Mrs Idil really helped a lot. The preparation for the competitions and all? Ok. Back to the present. After SMO, went back home to pick up cash before going to Orchard with Aaron, Renee and Tian Cheng. Went Plaza Sing for lunch. Whee! Pizza Hut. As usual, lots of laughter? Then we talked to Wheelock Place. Though I think we shouldn't have. -cough- Some people should take more care of themself... But anyway, wandered around Borders. Went a bit high over stationery in there and was let down when I found out that they used to have Bambi 2 soundtrack in Borders but now, out of stock.. Pft. Anyway, went to Takashimaya. Kinokuniya! Whee! More stationery... Anyway, in case you're wondering, I was supposed to help buy stationery for my mum so that's why I'm kind of being crazy? Then brought Renee to Art Friends. Whee! That place is nice! And we found 0.05 black pens? Like... Cool. Because it's really, really thin... But didn't buy. Then went to Orange Julius and just sit there and relax. Then Tian Cheng met us again and we all finally went to the MRT station. Lol. It's good that Renee can still get freaked out... But no longer because of me. Now, kor can take over the job? Heehee... Laadeedaa...

Ok. Time for something erm... less happy? Ok... Got a bit worked-up/emotional/moody yesterday... But the only thing that I'm happy about was that it ended in 15 minutes or so. But ya... Guess it was just a natural reflex to seeing things like that in black and white. I don't know if I'm disappointed with you and your opinions but there are just so many things that I feel like responding to but I shall refrain from doing so. Sighs. I want to blog more about this but it's hard. Anyway, one last point to make. You contradict yourself a lot, do you realize?

Oh yes... To those "evil" people who take delight in "torturing" me, I'm "pleased" to let you know that my brother is kind of taking over all your jobs. And like erm... To get me out of bed, he started tickling me all over, non-stop for like 10 minutes? So ya... Reminds me so much of each of you all. Pft. Laadeedaa. I think I shall have to meet up with you all a lot during the holidays, if not I'll miss you all too much. Haha.

Siblings

Tagged by Renee so here goes...

Three Names You Go By: chermaine, chermy, cherm? (Right...)
Three Parts of Your Heritage: Chinese, Thai (?), Teochew
Three Things That Scare You: losing loved ones, anger, moodswings
Three of Your Everyday Essentials: food, friends, laughter
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: shirt, berms, specs
Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists at the moment: Corinne May, don't really have any particular one..
Three of Your Favorite Songs at the moment: Rescue, There is life, At the beginning
Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than love): trust, mutual understanding, tolerance
Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You: smile, height, dunno
Three of Your Favourite Hobbies: Talking on the phone, reading, using the computer
Three Things You want really badly right now: darling the TY dog, new school bag, Jonathan to recover
Three Places You Want to go on Vacation: Australia, New Zealand, Switzerland
Three things you want to do before you die: Live in the countryside, have a dog as a pet, go diving!
Three people I would like to see take this quiz: sammi, hui shi, gloria

I want to do a detailed blog entry on my various "siblings"! Whee!
List of siblings (chronological order):
Hui Shi (gan jie) - Hmm. Out of all my "siblings", she's the one who influenced me the most and all and also probably the one who I'm closest to? Ya. As I wrote so many times in various places, so many things remind me of her. Haha. KFC for starters... And notebooks! Knew her since the start of Secondary 1 and now I'm in Secondary 3, hopefully, this friendship will be one that lasts. The jie-mei bond isn't that easily destroyed as various experiences have shown. After all, I've been through the most downs when it comes to her but the bond's just there... Mutual understanding?

Shao Wen (kor) - Shao... Getting bullied. =) But ya, even though I wasn't that close to you and all in nanyang, I remember that one time when you had to endure my moodiness over the phone. Sorry if that ever freaked you or disturbed you... But thanks. Anyway, miss you as much as I miss the other 2. Even the ruffling up of hair and all. And the small things such as you saying "laugh" continuously and that causing me to just laugh non-stop. Your protection of your previous anime and manga... I miss all that, kor... -hugs-

Joseph (kor) - I knew jose kor longer compared to my other siblings but he only became my kor in like Sec 1. Hmm. Primary school classmate. Was rather close to you in primary school. Talking on the phone so much that our parents started complaining. Yeps. Hmm.. But ya, you were always there to make me laugh and all. Thanks. Recently, been talking to you a lot less. I guess we're both caught up with our own stuff and all but never mind.. Thanks anyway.

Renee (mei) - Haha. Mei who bullies jie... and vice versa. Oops? Firstly, you're like the nicest of all my "siblings"? Haha.. Actually, everyone's nice but you just keep the teasing to a minimum. Besides, if you tease me, you get teased by me so ya. Anyway, one of the few who has to put with a hyper me very often. Aww. You're getting too used to me being hyper. Shall learn from kor (as in Tian Cheng)... =) Anyway, surprising how we were in the same class last year and I barely talked to you and this year, we're like always together. Haha.

Aaron (didi) - Hmm. Didi's like 6 days younger... Aww. Too bad. Anyway, he's nice to bully actually. Haha. But ya, he's nice and helps wash blob blob. In fact, he's the one who got me started on washing blob blob with soap. Oh ya, I miss the drum sticks! Playing with it is fun! And ya, didi studies harder than me. Don't get too upset over marks and all, ok? Your effort will pay off eventually.

Tian Cheng (kor) - Ohh! This is the most interesting "sibling" to blog about... And considering that I really only started talking to him last thursday? Firstly, I dare say I've influenced this kor to become more hyper and crazy? And stop thanking me. This kor is really crazy. Yeps. Doesn't really take care of himself. Tsk. Ohh. Yay! Kor is nice cause he helps me and doesn't torment me and also helps freak mei out. Haha. Rofl. Anyway, kor's probably boarding the airplane now... Hopes he takes more care of himself. Lychee Ice Blended! In fact, sugar high! Whee... Yeps. That's all for now.

Scandalous day? Nah...

Whee! Captain's ball is fun! I guess I enjoyed Games Day. If I wasn't playing captain's ball, I was probably talking and laughing away. I'll just blog about friday. One official game of captain's ball then after that, played a few rounds of friendly games with various people. Now it's clear why the guys were not allowed to play captain's ball. Haha. The 2 on 4 match was still tipped in the guys' favour. That tells you something, doesn't it? Oh ya, captain's ball brings back memories from the end of Sec 1 and Sec 2... Ok, time to stop thinking about the past, not when I'm blogging anyway.
After games day on friday, went out! Yayness! Haha. Anyway, a lot of unexpected things in the whole day that provide many memories that I want to keep. Yep. Ok... Time to stop being so vague. And just to check, who actually reads my blog and not just visit my tagboard? I'll like to know actually... Back to yesterday. Walked around Cineleisure and Takashimaya before having lunch. Watched X-Men3! Whee! Then neoprints. Yay! Finally another set of neoprints with sammi. I have to take more with her... Yeps. The day didn't end there but I'll stop blogging now. Haha. And yay, I got the 7th Pendragon book from Sammi! =) Thanks sammi, love you lots. (Now people, don't get jealous. Rofl...)

Journey into life

Whee! Journey into life... Get a job... Erm. Superstar?! $60000... Then pay increases... Various ups and downs in life. Gaining and losing. Have twins... Unexpected events. Retire in peace?

Haha... Laadeedaa. Did that make sense? Well, that happened to me. Haha. At Renee's house right now. Just played "Life" so ya... That's why. If you think I was referring to real life, how sad... Anyway, been at Renee's house since after school. We were just lazing around her house, using the computer, doing sudoku (!) then watched Robots while eating lunch. Pizza! Yum. =) Went back to using the computer and I was just lying on the sofa bed in the room. It is really comfortable! Haha. Then played "Life" and now I'm typing this. That's all now. Laadeedaa. This is amusing. Anyway, before lunch, I was super high and being really crazy and hyper. Example: "shushing" myself and telling myself to stop talking nonsense. Isn't that proof enough? Yay. Hmm. I think I need to go off soon so ya... -sniffs- That's all for now.

Outing - mixing of various grps...

-cough- I think everyone's coughing too much and I'm kind of affected by them? Haha. People like Renee and Hui Shi?

Anyway, got back Biology and Chemistry today. Pleased with Biology paper 2. Higher than expected. Chemistry was ... not a surprise. But it's low. Not satisfied but I already knew what kind of results I would have after I completed the paper. Ended school early and went home.

Went j8 for late lunch. Swensens! =) But didn't eat the fries there for once and didn't eat ice cream either... Rare. Oh well. Was full anyway. Stoned at the busstop to wait for gan jie, glo and shao. Erm. Ya. Then bryan and his friend, joel met us later. Joel remembers me from MEW? It was like last year. I vaguely remember him so ya... Oh well. KFC aka torture session. Laadeedaa. I really should keep my handphone with me all the time. Yeps. It's worse when some person is just sitting there and laughing away. Hmph. Joel left. Then neoprints. Rofl... Trying to convince guys to take neoprints has never been easy. And shao was also a bit reluctant to take... cos of her attire. Sighs. The uniform's bad but not that bad... Erm. The first few shots were just wasted but it got better. I knew I should have looked through the decorations of each neoprints. Hui shi... Sighs. Only noticed a certain decoration after they pointed it out to me. Then went walking around randomly before going home. Yeps. That's about it. As you can probably tell by now, I'm "cutting" out stuff and omitting certain details. Oops?

got tagged...

1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover.
2. Mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this "game" and leave a comment on their blog.
4. If you are tagged the SECOND time, there's no need to go this again.
5. The most important thing: HAVE FUN DOING IT! (:

1. Nice to me (and others.)
Open
Intelligent
Non-egoistic (that crosses out every single guy in this world, doesn't it? lol.)
Honest
Able to tolerate me
Sensitive
Athletic

2. Guy (duh!)

3. 8 pple... Erm. Haha. Those pple who's contributing to my very active tagboard. Hui Shi, Gloria, Shao, Isaac, Bryan, Joseph, Sammi and Aaron (even though he hardly visits.)

5. Fun? Erm... It was rather easy. Considering that -cough- I did a list like that in my notebook before. Laadeedaa. Renee and Sylvie, remember? Haha... Disclaimer: I was highly bored and needed to fill up my notebook.

Long break

Didn't need to attend school from last wednesday to friday and plus the weekend, it was a relaxed 5 day break?
Wednesday:
Went to Jurong Point with cousin and aunt to watch poseidon. Actually nothing much happened on that day.

Thursday:
Renee came over to my house! =) Yeps. Yayness! She helped me complete a 950 pc Disney jigsaw puzzle... Haha. Ah... The silly things that we said that totally doesn't make sense. We were extremely hyper and refused to go for lunch til we completed the puzzle so we only had lunch at 3 plus? Fyi, we finished the puzzle in 4 hours. Quite good? Erm. Wanted to watch "Ice Princess" but she had to go so we used the computer. -cough- Apparently, I have a sister. Laadeedaa... Haha.

Friday:
Went to Cineleisure Orchard with Renee and Ding to watch MI:3... Yeps. Before that, had lunch and was walking around. Ohh... I like the chairs in Cineleisure! Whee! Haha. The cinemas on level 9 have some really nice chairs... Very comfortable.
-cough- Yeps. Renee and I didn't realize that we could put the arm-rest down til the end of the show so ya... Laadeedaa. Then went to take neoprints! Whee! I'm getting ego! The neoprints are nice! =) Went home, rest for an hour then went to Serene to meet Mel and Sis Jas. Yeps. Dinner followed by Lcell. Yeps.

Saturday:
The normal... Service. Had to skip FUEL though to celebrate cousin's birthday. Dinner, went to Raffles Marina. It's really quite peaceful to look at the ships that were docked there. And I realized I could remember the last time I was there even though it's been more than 5 years, I think... Oh. Haha. Cousin managed to persuade my mum to let me learn how to play mahjong. So was sitting there watching my relatives play while my cousin taught me the basics. Yeps.

Sunday:
Nothing much so I'll just fast foward. And looks like swimming is becoming part of a routine... Every Sunday. While Jonathan has proper lessons, I just swim a bit in the pool. Yeps.

Today:
Extremely hyper! Ask Renee and Sylvie. I was like a few level more hyper than normal which is kind of scary... Considering how much sleep I had. Considering that the past 5 days, I slept only at 1 or so? Got back a few exam papers today. Sadly, I was proven right that you shouldn't aim high. The higher you aim, when you fall, it hurts more. Matrices. Was expecting higher. Anyway, marks are rather balanced. English was acceptable. Math was lower than expected but Higher Chinese made up for it by being slightly better than expected. So ya... Haha. After school, went to IMM to see my cousin's wedding photo shoot. She looks pretty! Especially that last evening gown. And pity her. Had to pose so many times and the flash is really glaring. Oh well. It's once in a lifetime thing.

Hyperness

Yay! Exams are over! For me, at least. To all the literature people, jia you! But then again, most of you don't read my blog..
Okie. Let's see, I've been extremely hyper and happy since I handed up the bio paper to Mr Andrew. Was getting restless in my seat while waiting to be dismissed. Came out of the hall with a large smile plastered on my face and I think Renee was being highly amused (yet again...) by me. Anyway, Renee's mum was nice enough to give me a lift to HPPS so I reached there earlier than expected. =)

Ok... Time to blog extensively about the time I spent there? Haha. Was asked about life in NUS High and considering it's a mixed school, the teachers had to make some comments. But I enjoyed chatting with the teachers and was helping Mrs Idil with some files. Quite relaxing to do such simple stuff... Laadeedaa. Then talked to Ms Tai and complained about Chinese in Chinese... Blushed quite a bit. Haha. Somehow, I can't figure out why I seem ego in front of people but when compliments are given (as in genuine ones), I don't really think it's accurate. Yeps. Then from 12 - 12:30, the teachers all had lessons so I was walking around the school and talking on the phone with sammi. Thanks sammi. =) Then continued talking with Mrs Idil and got a free cup of watermelon juice. -slurps- After that, talked to Ms Ng. Ahh. How much I miss talking to the teachers. The topics can range from the past to the present to the future... Yeps. The usual advice from teachers and all. Got chased off at around 2pm cause Ms Ng had to mark compositions. Oh well. Just in time to rush off for piano. Anyway, realized that I spent 3 hrs at HPPS. Not bad...

Piano lesson. Ah. I knew changing teacher was a good idea. =) Anyway, my teacher was understanding about the lack of practice. Whew... Oh ya. Got a task from my teacher to figure out the melody of a Jay Chou song. I feel accomplished! Figured out the song by playing around on the piano and listening to the song countless times... Yay! Shall try that for other songs as well. Maybe tomorrow? Whee! Hyperness. Anyway, here's my programme for the next few days... Go out with auntie and cousin aka piano teacher tomorrow. Thursday, slack at home and Renee's coming over. Yay! Haha. Friday's free for now... The nice thing about marking days... =) That's all for now. Whee! Laadeedaa.

Sleepless night

Ack. My thoughts are all over. Before I start blogging, I'll be really random and blog a recount of last night from 10:15 til the time I fell asleep. Considering that Renee got pretty tickled and amused by it... Laadeedaa. Erm. Got chased to bed by mum so couldn't finish reading the book Mel lent me. Laid down on my bed with my MP3 player on and just tossed and turned for about 30 minutes thinking about everything under the sun. Ok, not really but was thinking about a lot of things. I'll blog about some of them later. Couldn't sleep so sent a few random messages. Turned off my MP3 player. Tossed and turned for about 20 minutes more while trying to fall asleep using various methods like counting sheeps (which didn't work...) and then start thinking of songs in my head (which brought back too much memories but worked...) and eventually fell asleep. Let's see... I can even tell how soon I dozed off cause I don't remember finishing the lyrics of "I lay my love on you"... Laadeedaa. Isn't it nice how I can blog one paragraph on something so trivial? Haha. Anyway, finally fell asleep slightly before 11:30. Pft. I was supposed to be asleep by 10:30... Bah. Overslept this morning.

Anyway, back to the main reason for blogging. Hopefully, blogging helps me get my thoughts in line and so I can doze off faster tonight... By the way, most of what I was thinking all involved relationships and all but with the various groups of people in my life. Firstly, parents. Erm. For some reason, I didn't get my mum anything for Mother's Day this year. It's like unthinkable, I know but still, don't know what got into me and all. Ya, go ahead and start "tsk-ing" me. But I'm still trying to figure out why I didn't get her anything. It's not that I forgot about Mother's Day. I did think of various gift ideas but it wasn't practical or way out of my budget. Then in the end, it's like resignation. Can't think of anything and I guessed I was too busy with other things to even make a card. Hmm. Things have changed. More than I ever expected. Ack. I just can't blog openly... Hmm. Sorry if this seems like a cliffhanger.

Ok... Time to change topic and see if it helps. Oh ya, only one more paper to go! =) Had chemistry and chinese today. Hmm. I got to admit that the comprehension passage was fun to do... The content was especially intersting and thought-provoking. The passage was on marriage. Ever wondered why you never read about life after marriage in fairytales? Think about it... There was also a line on how marriage seems to lead to the "death" of love but people still get married. The small anecdote in the passage was one of those touching recount of how the author saw an old couple taking care of each other and how that made him realize that love is found in the most common everyday thing and is not always expressed about sweet-nothings, romantic gestures, etc... (By the way, it sounds way nicer in chinese. Maybe I'll type it out one day in chinese...) Hmm. The small things in life mean so much. Not just in relationships between couples but also between people. And so for that, thanks Jeann for remembering that my last paper's tomorrow and smsing me well wishes. =)

There's one more thing that I want to blog about. It's been on my mind for close to a week and was one of the various things that I was thinking about yesterday... Ack. It's one of those topics I rather not face and don't like blogging openly about. Erm. Hope whoever actually reads my blog entry don't mind if I'm being vague. Anyway, after something took place, the situation just hit me. I've been coping with it and was getting used to it but how real and the degree of change was just a bit overwhelming. I had placed too much expectations on that and right now, I'm seriously let down. I was the one that you all were worried about, worried about how I would change in a new school. Ya, I admit I've changed but I kept my word. I didn't let go of who I am. Ironic how the situation changed because of you. Urk. I'm not making sense cause everything's too vague but if I blog in detail, it'll lead to consequences that I'm not ready to deal with yet. But no matter how the situation has changed and no matter how I'm feeling about that, at least you seem happier and you have them to be there for you so I think I'm going to let go more than ever... Reluctantly. But still, I think I got to. Unless things change and you make the first move once more...

Laadeedaa. Nope, I'm not being moody by the way. I just need to let this out... Yeps.

My nice mei. =)

Due to the fact that both of us are extremely bored, we shall devote an entry to each other.
(I am making too many dedications.. Sighs?)

Hmm. Renee is my nice, nice mei who is always nice to me (unlike some people...) Haha. She claims I'm influencing her. Laadeedaa. Am I? Ok. Let's see. Erm... She just told me that thanks to me, she talks on the phone more! Haha. I broke her previous record and it's right now 2 hrs! Oh. I like studying on the phone with her! I actually remember stuff from those calls.

Yay! She's another person who can stand my hyperness and randomness. Trust me, she has to put up with a lot of that.. She's getting influenced by my craziness. She claims she's getting crazier too!

Ok... Shall end it now. We're just doing this cause we're bored and want to destress from Chem. And btw, we're not les.

Yesterday. (I'm running out of ideas.)

Sammi came to church yesterday! Lol. Actually, it's no longer as shocking as it would have been. Erm. Sermon was on Da Vinci Code. That's about it. FUEL was vaguely amusing. Mel, stop sabo-ing me, can? Pft. Dinner. Erm. Surprisingly lack of appetite. Was only thirsty and craving for ice cream and famous amos cookies. =) ReversO + Very Berry is nice! -slurps- Erm. Truth or dare is one of the worst games that can be played in public. -pokes the evil person who suggested playing the game ytd- Laadeedaa. Pft. The dare I had to do was erm... embarrassing. But relatively safer compared to the other options?! Like erm. Sammi and Mel, we were in public?! Pft. Laadeedaa. I think sammi enjoyed her dares though. Hmm. Sighs. I realized we like to ask questions that involve choosing the "lesser of two evils"... Like pick between ... and ... Laadeedaa. Sighs. The only nice thing I got out of yesterday was like I got to borrow one book each from sammi and mel. Thanks. =) Shall start on the books after I'm done with revision. Don't think I'm in the mood for blogging so didn't blog in detail and all. Leave a tag if you want me to edit this entry... Laadeedaa. But then again, most people only leave tags saying that I'm scandalous. Pft.

Apology

Hmm. I guess I'm feeling bad for smsing a few people last night/this morning when I couldn't sleep and disturbing you all. Sorry. People like sammi were awake and had to actually bear with me ranting... And of course, one or two others had to bear with me on MSN. So sorry. That's all.

Exams

It's that time of mugging once more. Ack. Ok... I'm getting too critical of my writing style. Edited the introduction twice already. I shall just not bother about the style and write normally. Taking the English exam today was enough. Blogging's meant to help me settle down and just relax, not make my mind active. At least, not now...

Anyway, for those who don't know, I'm going through my mid-years now except that it isn't really a mid-year examination. My mid-year = end of years? Considering that my school operates on a 6 monthly modular system so each module ends after 6 months. But surprisingly, I'm not as stressed out now compared to when I was preparing for eoys last year. I wonder why... Before I continue, I must thank my nice mei, Renee, who studies over the phone with me for like all the subjects? Haha. We covered all the math modules, physics, bio and even english over the phone for the past few days. =) And yet another realization: Revision can actually be done effectively over the phone! Mei, we so rock! Haha. But it helps to study over the phone and go through the questions together.

Just had my first few major papers today. English, Physics, Polynomial Equations and Functions. Erm. English was ok, I guess? But I did leave some questions unanswered. Lack of time. But it shouldn't affect my marks that badly, I hope. Physics. Erm... Ok. This is the really sad part. It was an open book examination which means we could bring in one piece of A4 paper with anything we want written on it. And yet, I think I'll still fail the examination. Though someone said that I shouldn't just be aiming to pass, for physics, passing means a lot to me already. To make up for the dismal performance in physics, I did try aiming high for other modules.

Then came Polynomial Equations and Functions. Erm. I would probably get a B grade or so? But that's really falling short of my aim. I was aiming for 90% in my exam so that I can pull up my overall grade to A- but now, I really doubt it. Oh well, time to look foward to the next few exams. Matrices and Coordinate Geometry tomorrow. Though I used to think I shouldn't aim high as it'll just hurt more when you fall, I shall dare to aim high for once. Only for one math module do I care to aim for a overall 90 grade. Matrices. As long as I'm careful, I know I can achieve that. -blinks- When did I actually begin to have confidence in myself? Especially when it came to academic grades. -shrugs- We'll see how things go. All the best to everyone! =)

That missing piece of the puzzle

Well, my current blogskin doesn't show the title of my entry which is both good and bad, I guess. This time, the title's too much of a giveaway to what I want to write about and we can't have that, can we? Considering that I have every intention of making this blog entry as vague as possible. So ya... Let's see if I can do that.

Let's see. Service. The sermon didn't really speak out to me but rather, it was the time when we were supposed to just close our eyes and listen for God's voice. This image was constantly in my mind. Then altar call. I didn't go up cause I didn't really fit into any of the groups. But in my seat, I was being touched by God. The song "Rescue". Mel or isaac, if you have that song, can send to me next time? Hmm. Realization, that I was so close to repeating the process of last year. Moodiness, depression, tears. Letting go of some things. I've never been good at letting go. Still aren't. But it's like the list just got longer. Relationships, emotions, etc...

FUEL. Erm... Sad that I had to leave half-way. Then when making my way to dinner, I was like calling up people and asking them to call with me on the phone. Thanks Renee and Glo. =) But ya. Even the wanting to talk to someone was telling. It made me realized... Oh well. Dinner. Erm... Felt out of place? Never did like eating in such an enviroment. Doesn't suit me? Anyway, after dinner, went to check out some "Hark Music Cafe". Cousin was having her ROM there. As the name implies, it's cafe with a stage. For karaoke purposes? Anyway, the whole family was just sitting there stoning. I was no exception. Hmm. Then I started thinking... Erm. Ya. The same thing that I realized just now? Ouch. It came back and hit me on the head again. So ya... Not good. Anyway, have I mentioned that it's actually relaxing to stare at the flame of a candle? Haha. Was playing with the camera in my phone and took a picture of the flame emitting blue light. =) Whee!

Sighs. I think I've still not covered what I want to but I think I rather not. Sighs. This entry doesn't make much sense, right?

Today - mood swings (?)

For a lack of a better title, I just picked "Today". Considering that this blog entry will just be about what happened so far today which isn't much really, I can't find a title to cover what I'm going to write about.

It was raining in the morning! I wanted to stand in the rain but for practical reasons and violent objections from sylvie and renee. Sighs. Assembly was in 10 minutes and besides my top is white (colour of my school uniform...)
Had my first exam paper today. Higher Chinese Paper 1. I never did consider paper 1 (english or chinese doesn't matter) as an exam so there wasn't any reason to be nervous. Hmm. I guessed I kind of went crazy and picked the one question I shouldn't have picked? For those who don't know, there are three kinds of questions for the essay.

1) Narrative
2) Exposition
3) Commenting on newspaper article.

The one kind of questions that teachers told us not to do was -insert drum roll- exposition. This round, I was trying to decide between exposition and the commenting on a newpaper article. Let's see. It was either writing on the generation gap between parents and their children or writing my opinion on the recent dialogue session between Lee Kuan Yew and those young adults. Though I had points for both topics, I was really inclined towards the exposition so erm... I kind of threw common sense out of the examination hall and did the topic that I wanted. I think it's probably going to cost me my marks but erm. I don't think I'll regret it. It was just so fun writing about that topic. When I refer to doing an exam paper as "fun", it's safe to say I'm a bit abnormal. As in even weirder than my normal self. Haha.

Ok. Anyway, after that was just lunch and 3 hour of bridging modules. Hmm. I found out my CA grade for coordinate geometry. Need to do way better for my exam paper. I want to put my marks up to above average at the very least. After that, was going home alone. Sorry sylvie, I guessed I wasn't in the mood to go West Mall and all. I was doing sudoku on the bus. *faints* Yeps. I was kind of shocked when I realized that but it was nice to just be focused on something and not stone.

Reached home and erm... slacked. Ya. I really should be mugging but I realized I mug best at night. So I'm slacking now til after dinner? But anyway, was trying to complete the sudoku puzzle. Failed. Never mind. It was still an accomplishment for me as I managed to fill it up a bit more. Anyway, started reading this story on fictionpress. Sammi, your recommendations are good. Hmm. Read "When you own the universe". Erm. What is it with me and getting so caught up in fictional stories? I constantly talk to the television screen, criticizing the characters or when reading fictionpress, I tend to empathize with the characters too much that I get a bit emotional? Oops? Thought about some things when reading the story. Erm. Ya. Why am I blogging this again? Oh ya... Cos I'm actually in the mood too for once to blog something proper. That's all for now.

Scandals

People are attracted to scandals. I guess it's fairly obvious in society and all. Look at all the media attention that celebraties get when they get into anything scandalous. And the reason behind people liking to gossip? Similar reasons, I guess. Anyway, this part of the entry was prompted by the sudden increase in tags on my tagboard ever since recently when a few of my entries became more "scandalous". At least, that must be how it seems. Hmm. I can't say that I'm happy or upset over this link between the content of my entry to the amount of people tagging. Though the number of tags is not always related to the number of visitors to a blog, I still think I'll be right if I say that people visit blogs more when the "scandal" level of the blog is nice.

Why do people visit other's blogs? Boredom? Finding information? Wanting to know what goes on? Amusement/Entertainment? Hmm. For me, I guess the blogs I visit the most often are the blogs of people who I actually care more about and I want to know what I'm missing out on in their lives or what they're thinking about, so on and so forth. Based on that, I've got to admit I don't go regularly to many people's blogs. Only those few. Hmm. You should know who you people are? I think it's fairly obvious. But anyway, the list of blogs that I go to regularly seems to have changed a bit just over these past months. Interesting...

Congratulations

Pft. Congrats to the first two members of ACFC. You've done your job extremely well and the damage has been done. But I've got to admit, in between the times of frustration and trying to answer all the questions from various people, I'm getting amused too. Oh well.

Dedicated to you. =)

Since you asked and me being nice and all, I shall dedicate this whole entry to you and er... ya, just write about you. =)
Hmm. It's been a short time since I started to know you, as in talk to you and all. Not just aware that you exist. Haha. Anyway, how have you impacted me/influenced me?
Ok. For some weird reason, I can't seem to write. Writer's block. Probably due to my reluctance to write about this on my blog.
Well, one of the impact's that fine system that you implemented... Pft. It cost me like $4 already, rite? Oh well. At least I haven't had to pay for the past 1+ months. Hmm. That really helps when it comes to controlling my mood. And er ya... Dunno if you remember the one MSN conv we had and you were kind of telling me off? The one when I was moody and all... A while after I got comissioned, I think. Yep. Anyway, your words kind of stuck. One of the few reasons why I'm probably less moody?
Oh ya. You're very nice. =) Shaln't bother elaborating on this though. And your tolerance level for randomness's quite high. =) That's why it's so fun to sms random things to you. You make me smile and laugh a lot. Yeps. That's one of the biggest impact. Hmm... I really can't think of what to write. Ok... Corrections: I know but I just can't seem to put it into words. If you really want, let you read my notebook next time? Sorry darling. This's all I can write for now. =p

Looking back.

Looking back was never advisable for me. I'll just remember all the pain and hurt that I went through. But I realized on saturday that what didn't kill me made me stronger. Eventually.
Today, during A.C.E, I couldn't help but smirk at the part when Ms Flo said how eventually reflection becomes part of your life, like when you hear a song or read a book. How right. Every thing I do, I start to think about it and reflect. But I no longer reflect in the same way as last year. Last year, reflection = moodiness.
And also, the thing about how only you've been through some sadness, then you'll enjoy happiness. I guess I finally learned how to stop filling that void inside me with moodiness like how I did last year. Sadness and depression were reliable... They filled me up. But not with meaning. This year, that void's filled with happiness at how things are. I treasure each time that I laugh and have fun. And it helps. The amount of time I was moody last year this time is almost equal to the number of times I am happy now. Which shows the distinct improvement.
As to what happened last year, well, what has passed has passed. I don't think that I've regreted what I've done though. Given the choice, would I still do the same thing and go through all the misunderstandings again? I guess I would. That was partly what formed me and our friendship. If you read this, I guess I just want to thank you for being you. Ya, we've been through too many downs but somehow, we always reached the ups once more. Now, I'm going through my ups without you. Hope you're doing as well. I won't know. We've drifted. And it takes too much effort to hold on now. I want to but I got too tired. I learned it the hard way that I've got to let go. Things have changed. So have we.

Recap of saturday.

Sammi reminded me that I didn't blog about westside story and that day... Oops. My apologies. Anyway, that way was hectic and consisted of rushing from one place to another and the best part was I enjoyed every minute of it. Here's how the schedule was like:
9:30 am - 11:30am : Chemistry tutorial
1:30 pm - 4:40 pm : Meet Sis Serena in church to catch up and all followed by service
5:00 pm - Went IMM to support Jonathan in "Cutest kid competition"
7:30 pm - Meet Sammi at Esplanade to watch "Westside Story"
Yes, I'm aware that there are some gaps in times, those times were probably the travelling time.
Hmm. To go into more detail about the day, I guess I'll focus on the last event. Going out with sammi. Even though everything was finalized the night before and was really rushed and last-minute, I can say that I really enjoyed chatting with her and all. It triggered off this thought/realization that I had: "This friendship not only lasted beyond what I expected, but it's probably going to be one of my most lasting friendships, and maybe even longer than some other friendships that I thought would last forever." I rather not go into detail and all but I guess life's just full of the unexpected things. Some things I thought I'll lose, I regained it. Some things I thought I'll have forever, I lost it almost instantaneously.
Anyway, just talking to her was a nice experience. Haven't spent much quality time with her instead of just over the phone. Sammi, I owe you so many more "outings". I'll try my best to get permission for the one thing we both want most, ok? Lol. And ya, we're both booked for Grease, ok? Thanks for inviting me for Westside Story. =)

A new beginning?

Hmm... Realized that in many times, the past few months have been nothing like Sec 1 and 2 but rather, a repeat of primary school? Lol. With a few changes, of course.
But it's like I've started to enjoy studying again. Ya sure, I complain about the workload a lot but I'm actually finding school fun. It's like this whole new beginning. And of course, there are other things that have changed a lot from last year. So many things...
But hmm. To put it simply, I feel like I'm reliving the joy and innocence of childhood again. I'm still able to smile and enjoy life without being that cynical or sarcastic. It's as if the previous two years never happened...

Oh well, I've been wanting to blog about this for a while but circumstances never permitted. But now, when I blog, it's such a short entry... Haha. Maybe another time?

Amusement

Yesterday was interesting, to put it mildly...
Went over to sylvie's house to do physics airlift assignment, or at least attempted to. Sawing wood is fun! Lol.
Anyway, after that was the mad rush from her house to mine and then to sammi's house. I left sylvie's house at 4:40 and went home, bathed, pack my bag and rushed to sammi's house by 6. Not bad... At sammi's hse, I was amusing her, I guess. Took a taxi down to church cause we lost track of time at her house? Lol. Coincidences? Interesting who the first 3 people we saw were. Anyway, lots of shocks, etc. Sammi being evil and being very amused. During doctor's journal, I was stuck between two people who are part of the ACFC. And one of them's like the president of ACFC?! -blinks-
Supper! Being bullied. Sammi, you're supposed to be on my side!
-blinks- why am I even blogging about this in the first place? Oh well... Time to get back to work. Anyway, yesterday was amusing and I digged my own grave so many times too. Haiz.

100th post

Never thought this blog will last so long. My 100th entry! This blog was started at the end of 2004, after I came back from Youth Camp. In the 1+ year that has passed, this blog has recorded so much of what happened. My various mood swings, the more interesting and memorable events that have occured throughout last year and part of this year has been recorded down. How much things have changed... What I tagged on gan jie's blog and what her entry was about just reminds me so much of everything. I'm really too sentimental.
Anyway, I realized that I'm reading too much again... I know I've blogged about that but time to get even more specific. When I was young, the fiction books were always some fantasy/action books. But now, the genre has changed to romance and stuff like that. Why the "stuff like that"? Well, it's cause I don't specifically go for romance books but the books that I've been reading talks about many issues in life that I've always tried to avoid. Relationships, love, life, death, memory, etc. These topics have always tend to make me more "reflective" which used to equal moodiness. But now, I'm coping better, I guess. I get reflective and just think about what I've read but the moodiness doesn't come that badly anymore. But anyway, so many quotes and phrases that I really like... Hmm.
I really want to blog and write on every single phrase that I like from the books that I've read but it just doesn't seem appropriate. Don't ask me why, I have no idea myself... Even the play "A Beautiful Companion" and that whole night, there were so many things that I was thinking about but I just can't seem to put them down into words. But as I said, so many things have changed yet so many things stay the same. And somehow, all my reflections and all always seem to revolve around the same few things/people... Oh well.

Unspoken but written...

1. list 10 things you want to say to 10 people but know you never will
2. don't say who they are
3. never discuss it again
[Took this from gan jie's blog... Abt condition no 1, I'm not so sure about the "never" part but it's probably just highly unlikely. Anyway, some of the people might seem obvious but don't even ask me anything... Refer to condition 3. So here goes...]

1. Have you even realized how much hurt and damage you have caused? It's been a chore to talk to you, to even be civil. But society and my own conscience refuses to let me cut off all ties with you, I guess. I do feel guilty at times but you don't even make a move to mend this gap that just increases with time.

2. You're one of the few people that I felt influenced me quite a significant bit over the time I knew you. How do I say this? It was such a joy and such a pain to know you. Pain, the experience of interacting with you grew tiring but joy, the friendship that we shared just couldn't be compared. Although I'm emotional, I willingly opened up to you more. Compared to others who only knew me through their analysis. I opened up to you. Thanks for being there. But now. I have this question that I hate to ask but it just bothers me, "Would things have turned out better if we didn't know each other?" Less joy but also less hurt. Anywyay, Thanks. I'll try my best to still always be there. That, I promise.

3. Urk. Stop pretending! I don't believe that you're really who you seem to be. You're not. And we all know it so just be yourself for real. So who cares if it's a weaker side of you? So what? I want to know you for who you are. It's been a while since I first knew you but you're still hiding behind the mask.

4. Hmm... Never thought that I'll be writing this to you. But anyway, a small incident long time ago made me feel really bad and guilty. You used to care about me but I kept crushing all your hope and rejecting you. Sorry. It might seem like an excuse but that was my natural reflex. Sorry. When you told me one day that you used to care, I was feeling bad. I don't think you'll remember this incident but anyway, sorry for putting you down so many times.

5. You. Thanks. How many times I want to repeat that? I don't know... But I don't know. I really feel like there's so much to thank you for. Even things that seem insignificant, they made me smile. So ya... Thanks. Heehee. Actually, there's more I want to say but I rather not type it out... =p I don't think anyone will notices this part that's added on... But now, I guess I'll just type it out. I've always been too emotional and feel too much, concerning myself so much when other people have problems. Especially if they're close to me, once they get down, I get affected. You're one of those who I care more about... So it really hurts when you're down and I just feel so helpless cause I don't know how to cheer you up, to bring a smile to your face. I'm not the person for that job, I'm just not the one who can cheer you up. But why do I still try?

6 - 10. I can't think of anyone yet... Heehee... So that's all for now.

If anything sounded a bit more moody than usual, I apologize. I just finished reading a book before that and normally, after reading a mood, I'm a bit too reflective and think too much about the past... =p

Pft...

Ok. I knew it wasn't a smart move to put that Mel's hotter and cuter than Isaac so now, I'm kind of "forced" to write something else. Here goes:
Isaac is hotter and sexier than melanie.
Pft. Done...

Interactions

Friends. That has always been one issue I'm too concerned about.
Anyway, there have been various things that just summarize the state of my various friendships with different groups of people..
Thursday, sylvie came over to my house and we just did our homework and then watched "Pride and Prejudice". Quote: "Goddess Divine". Rofl... But ya, the few hours was mostly quite relaxing and just filled with laughter and random stuff...
Friday, going back to Nanyang. Hmm... Gloria has always been able to read me well. -shrugs- Anyway, I realized how much I was still clinging on to things that I should let go... I'll elaborate more on it later... Oh ya, going to Orchard. Some memories that I hold dear.
Anyway, after that, met up with Melanie... Dinner before Lcell... Lots of laughter and random things and getting traumatized. Oh ya, I promise Mel something... Here goes. Melanie is cuter (minus ugly) and hotter than Isaac! But the best part was we got it wrong... There wasn't lcell. So went to Island Creamery. Anyway, that was for Friday.
Saturday, service... Ouch. The one image that's constantly been in my head for the past few services is the idea of two ropes being connected but then it's cut through... The ropes are only connected by a few strands... The thing is, I've to cut away those strands and it'll hurt... I'm purposely being vague by the way... It's quite obvious though what I'm talking about. Fuel... Hmm. Ouch. Trials. Brother Andy sharing his story... It touched my heart... How true. Even though I thought that I've forgiven and the bitterness and pain is no longer there, each time, the tears flow again. Dinner. Hmm. More amusement and I'm kind of surprised by how things have turned out... Anyway, on the bus trip back, was talking to Sammi on the phone... It struck me how our friendship lasted even after Primary 6, something that was kind of unexpected...
Oh well... To put it simply, the friendship with my friends from various groups... HPPS, NY, NUSHS and church... The situation right now is really unexpected... in a good way and in a bad...

Ok. That's enough of reflecting... And now, I'm getting exploited by Sammi! -sulks- I'm probably going to help her with lit homework... Dots... Pft.. Time to stop blogging and help her...